The Hundred Floor Tower (of Doom!)

So… antigravity? I put a prayer to Guan Yin. She points me out the way.

Floor 76 has a qirin who is trying to separate a dragon and a tiger. Unless you help him you can’t pass. Btw, don’t try to kill the dragon and the tiger or you’ll get bad luck and a bad thing from the previous floors will kill you.

I take out a dartgun and fire a powerful tranquilizer at both the tiger and dragon, once they are asleep I drag the tiger to floor 75 and leave it there.

On floor 77 you come across an indestructible punching strength tester◊. The only way to open the door is by setting a new high score and according to the leaderboard the current high score belongs to Saitama

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Feb 6th 2019 at 12:22:01 PM

I call up Ultra Instict Shaggy and have him use 10% of his power on the machine. The new high score is now set to infinity, I proceed to the next room.

The floor of room 78 is lava! ..and there doesn't seem to be any other way across but through it.

I picked up a lave immunity potion at the Dungeon Shop so I just swim through the lava.

The 79th floor is full of memes! Terrible memes are telepathically sent into your brain by psychic monkeys until you cringe to death from the awfulness of the memes.

I give the psychic monkeys a psychic banana so they go away.

Floor 80 appears to have nothing, except that there’s a forcefield that causes you to rapidly age and die if you try to go up.

I counter the aging by every so often taking a sip from my flask, which is filled with water from the Fountain of Youth to the point that I'm actually two months younger when I reach the top.

On the 81st floor Godzilla is stomping around, somehow you can tell that the door to the next floor is in one of his teeth.

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Feb 13th 2019 at 7:36:29 PM

I weaponize the tooth against him. It somehow works.

The 82nd floor has an ongoing figurative and literal Flame War.

Put on a flame-retardant suit and some noise-cancelling headphones. Evidently, you can't do much to stop it, or else you'll become involved in it.

Floor 83 holds a much greater danger: a toxic fanbase, that somehow ooze hydrochloric acid, and their reptilian master to control them all.

I summon a bunch of moderators armed with pH bases and a herpetologist to defeat them.

The next floor is an ice level, and the stairs up are located one mile from the entrance. Also, the floor is slippery and a polar bear is chasing you.

I go back to the 82nd floor after putting on the suit and headphones back on and trick the flamers into coming after me. The literal flames will eventually melt the ice and with that many other targets the polar bear ends up ignoring me.

The 85th floor has every single bad fanfic ever written and the only way to open the door is by one person reading all of them.

I advertise them and shill them on public forums to such an extent that they are now regarded as the legendary "F.A.R.T Fics (F**king awful ret***ed texts)" and the Internet Historian has to do a reading of them all since people liked his "My Immortal" readings.

On the 86th floor is a Mary Sue happily married of 10 years to a Garys tu but they still look young and fit (in fact even better when they first married) and they now can invoke the power of love.

I simply use the power of hate.

Floor 87 is home to Candle Jack, and he's gonna kiSigh. I'm Candle Jack, and that's it. No kidnappings here.

Well the clear way to defeat Candle Jack is to go arouI am not Candle Jack, forget whatever you think you may have heard. I will wear the skin of whomever I didn't kidnap and continue their ascent up the tower.

Floor 88 is covered in lego blocks, toy cars and thumb tacks. It is also home to a kindly Japanese lady that insists you take your shoes off at the door.

Edited by kenneth_the_page on Feb 16th 2019 at 10:01:52 AM

I don’t and walk across. Because common sense.

The 89th floor is filled with spears. Even slightly touching one will cause them all to impale you.

I throw in one of the cabbages from the safety of the 88th floor and wait until all the spears have impaled it.

On the 90th floor there is a pool of acid with the key to the next floor resting at the bottom, while the key isn't affected the acid is strong enough to kill any human that jumps into it. Oh and the cabbages refuse to help you in any way after the last floor.

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Feb 20th 2019 at 9:29:33 PM

I dump a literal truckload of baking soda. Several, perhaps. By the time the last truck leaves the acid should be completely neutralized, or at least isn't corrosive enough to completely dissolve my body on touch. Chemistry, ho!

The 91st floor is a large square-shaped arena with a wooden table in the middle. On the table is a chess board with the pieces set, along with a timer. Mike Tyson and Garry Kasparov performs a Fusion Dance as you enter. The resulting being, Tyserov, challenges you to compete in the ancient and most sacred sport of chessboxing, with the prize being the key to the next floor.

Edited by ArmoredFury on Feb 20th 2019 at 9:52:19 PM

I break the chessboard over his head, and take the key off of him while he has his unexpected nap.

The 92nd floor is a door locked by a computer system, with the password to unlock it hidden in the piles and piles of microfilm sitting nearby. The only other thing in this concrete room is a computer and reader for the microfilm.

Edited by AzurePaladin on Feb 20th 2019 at 11:01:10 AM

...I just do it. I mean by the end my eyes have started to look like a 1500 year old asshole but whatever.

On the 93rd floor is a Dragon made out of depleted uranium. while this may or may not result in in dying you notice a sign saying "This Dragon can invoke the Power of Ass Pull and techno babble at any given time proceed with caution"

bump

It doesn’t result in me dying and the dragon doesn’t use that. He knows someone will get through because that’s how this game works, so he doesn’t bother to stop me.

The 94th floor’s exit is directly opposite its entrance. However, it’s so high on the wall, the top of the door frame touches the ceiling and the bottom is anout ten feet off the ground. There is nothing in the room to stand on and the walls are too smooth to climb.

I pull out my grappling gun and have it pull me up.

On the 95th floor you have to face your evil clone who has all your skills and tools including their own army off ninja's and cabbages

Unfortunately for her, I had the element of surprise.

Her army, as it turns out, is useless when she can't find you.

After sneaking past and avoiding a fight, the 96th floor has a puzzle in the center of the room, like one of those puzzle boxes. A sign next to it proclaims that solving it requires the use of the fourth dimension.

(Let's bump this...We're SO CLOSE!!!)

I cheat by using the fifth dimension instead.

On the 97th floor, there are a bunch of metal parts scattered around the room. A sign in front of the exit says "make a religion out of this to pass".

I simply make a religious symbol out of them. Hey, the sign never said I would need to make a new one.

The 98th floor is segmented in rows which constantly rotate clockwise , some horizontally, others vertically, is constantly shaking like an earthquake and has winds that are as strong as a tornado. The exit is simply at the other side.