How to throw ingredients in a microwave:First you get a sack of food by going on an Ax-Crazy rampage in town and screaming profanities at anyone who tries to stop you. Then, you get a microwave (no not with a phone attached to it) and stuff everything in there, sack and all. Then cackle over the corpses of your enemies.
edited 23rd Oct '16 10:22:26 PM by Jamiester
ACCOUNT NO LONGER USED. *straps on jetpack*
Deka-Madora~
Jer gets all the girls
How to wreck stuff continually: Go to a shop and purchase a crowbar/large pipe/other heavy object. Go back to your home. Select items to destroy. Strike chosen items repeatedly with large heavy object purchased earlier until the item is unrecognisable. Move onto next item. Repeat process until tired/no longer angry/everything has been destroyed.
Everybody's all "Jerry's old and feeble" till they see him run down a skyscraper and hijack a helicopter mid-flight.
Klonoa, Dream Traveller
How to select items to destroy: Select items that are easily breakable and of little value. Do not attempt to destroy any item that does not belong to you. Do not attempt to destroy living creatures as well. If you do either of these things, you will be arrested.
Still hoping for Klonoa to get a new game... or a movie like this
How to be arrested: Do crime.
Twitter/Instagram: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah.
straight up just a bear
How to do: Realize the futility of you're actions. Give up. Do something else. We're all gonna die anyways.
edited 24th Oct '16 4:42:42 AM by Sedmikrasky
dork: silent assassin
How to die: Lie down and stop breathing.
Lovepilled and Hopemaxxing
How to lie down: Find a flat horizontal place for you to lie on, preferably a comfy one. Position the back of your head, your back, the back of your legs and your posterior on the flat place, parallel to it. Philosophical thoughts optional.
Twitter/Instagram: anzasquiddles. Deviantart: anzahanifathallah.
Klonoa, Dream Traveller
How to think philosophical thoughts: There are many philosophical things to think about. For example, one might think about the meaning of life. One might think about how the universe was created. One might think about the best way to spend one's life.
Still hoping for Klonoa to get a new game... or a movie like this
The Tranquil Knight
How to live: Breathe.
edited 24th Oct '16 8:01:31 AM by Tranquilis
Dead for the foreseeable future. Towergirls will return when I do.
see you, space cowboy.
How to die: Stop breathing.
Long live the New Bev.
The Absolute Madman
How to breathe: Stop trying to die and open your mouth.
"We be we baby!"
Klonoa, Dream Traveller
How to open your mouth: Move your lower jaw downwards. Now you can do a multitude of things, such as eat, breathe, or talk.
Still hoping for Klonoa to get a new game... or a movie like this
How to eat: First, open your mouth! Then, place food into....
...Not that much food.
Once you have an amount you can chew, start chewing!
Then, swallow!
CAUTION: Seriously, not that much food. What idiot tries fitting an entire Whopper in their mouth?
PINNACLE OF MAN
How to chew: Crush the food inside your mouth with your jaws so it will be just bits that you can swallow. Luckily, you have teeth for it.
I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.
The Absolute Madman
How to swallow!: Open your mouth.
Close your eyes.
Get ready for a big surprise.
Don't spit.
Works best if you are female.
How to crush teeth: Take a hammer at that guy who made you swallow and knock his teeth out.
![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
Plz tell me you are just joking.
edited 24th Oct '16 8:24:44 AM by NegaKingKix
"We be we baby!"
the cake is an alternative fact
dammit skip me
also binch it works just fine if youre male quit bein a heteronormative sh@t
edited 24th Oct '16 8:23:16 AM by Afterwards
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster
PINNACLE OF MAN
How to take a hammer: Find a hammer, which looks like this
◊, and grasp it firmly with your fingers. Alternatively, close your eyes and grab anything that feels like a rod. You took a hammer! Works best if you are female.
How to take: Find something you want, and grab it, before running.
Seriously, you're breaking the law.
Violence may be an option, if you can't just grab it.
The Absolute Madman
How to break the law: Take hammer in earlier instructions and kill as many people as you can without being shot.
"We be we baby!"
the cake is an alternative fact
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
i mean i am just joking in the sense that im not actually upset but it does work just fine if youre male trust me
How to find a hammer: Go to your nearest hardware store. Get your friend to distract the cashier by asking for help with something ridiculous. With the cashier gone, go behind the front desk and search through the sensitive documents until you find the map. Once acquired, bail (with or without your friend) and set off towards the nearest volcano. From there, follow the map into the deepest depths until you find the secret treasure room. Only one of the hammers is the correct one, and you must replace it with something else that weighs exactly the same. If you fail to do this, or take the wrong one, the entire cave will collapse and then the volcano will erupt, killing millions and destroying the local wildlife. Once you succeed in taking the correct hammer, you are now free to smite your foes and dance in the blood of your enemies. Works best if you're female.
but............. where is that mentioned in my thing...............
edited 24th Oct '16 9:03:01 AM by Afterwards
she magnificent my bastard till i complete on her monster
Don't step on the flowers.
How to find love: Find someone you like in a romantic and other way. Don't resort to kidnapping or the like.
"YOU SHALL FEEL THE FLOWER'S WRATH"
Red Like Santa
How To find someone you like Constantly follow your target until they break down and accept your advances.Resort to kidnapping if that doesn't work.
edited 24th Oct '16 9:09:31 AM by hamza678
Now known as Cyber Controller
PINNACLE OF MAN
How to kidnap people: Corner the person you want to kidnap, grab him firmly so he/she can't escape. Protip: tie him or her up. Grab him/her and as secretly as possible get him to your basement in your house. Works best if you are female.
I am the most suitable partner for Gaia. I have some bad news. You will not make it to Eden. This is the end of your journey.
How to Play
The currently latest post has stated a short instruction explaining the reader on how to do something. The next person takes a part (or all) of the instructions in the above post and writes a sentence to a paragraph explaining how to do that.
Example:
How to make a wooden table: Take an axe, go to a tree, chop down lumber, and assemble them into a table.
How to chop down lumber: Go to your municipal government office and present an ice sculpture of a large elephant as a bribe for a permit to chop the tree. Then take a break at at the juice bar. After that, take a selfie with the axe before using it on the tree.
As seen above, the instructions can be gratuitous and unnecessarily going off the track as long as you shoehorn them to accomplish what they're explaining.
How to cook a burger: Go to the library and read about famous chefs to make yourself more hungry. Proceed to travel around the country for the most exquisite patties and beef. Throw all ingredients into a microwave and wait while watching the The Simpsons.