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Trivialis Focus from contemplation
Focus
Oct 23rd 2016 at 9:54:49 PM

How to Play

The currently latest post has stated a short instruction explaining the reader on how to do something. The next person takes a part (or all) of the instructions in the above post and writes a sentence to a paragraph explaining how to do that.

Example:

How to make a wooden table: Take an axe, go to a tree, chop down lumber, and assemble them into a table.

How to chop down lumber: Go to your municipal government office and present an ice sculpture of a large elephant as a bribe for a permit to chop the tree. Then take a break at at the juice bar. After that, take a selfie with the axe before using it on the tree.

As seen above, the instructions can be gratuitous and unnecessarily going off the track as long as you shoehorn them to accomplish what they're explaining.

How to cook a burger: Go to the library and read about famous chefs to make yourself more hungry. Proceed to travel around the country for the most exquisite patties and beef. Throw all ingredients into a microwave and wait while watching the The Simpsons.

I don't need praise, I need help.
Oct 23rd 2016 at 10:21:29 PM

How to throw ingredients in a microwave:First you get a sack of food by going on an Ax-Crazy rampage in town and screaming profanities at anyone who tries to stop you. Then, you get a microwave (no not with a phone attached to it) and stuff everything in there, sack and all. Then cackle over the corpses of your enemies.

edited 23rd Oct '16 10:22:26 PM by Jamiester

ACCOUNT NO LONGER USED. *straps on jetpack*
Betweenthree Deka-Madora~ from The Minus World Relationship Status: RelationshipOutOfBoundsException: 1
Deka-Madora~
Oct 23rd 2016 at 10:39:37 PM

How To Go On a Rampage: Find out that your spouse washed out your wedding video with their favourite show. Kill them. Kill about 100 or so more people. Wreck stuff continually until anger is gone.

That face when you realize you've just walked into a pit.
Murataku Stan the Man from Straya Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Stan the Man
Oct 24th 2016 at 1:04:15 AM

How to wreck stuff continually: Go to a shop and purchase a crowbar/large pipe/other heavy object. Go back to your home. Select items to destroy. Strike chosen items repeatedly with large heavy object purchased earlier until the item is unrecognisable. Move onto next item. Repeat process until tired/no longer angry/everything has been destroyed.

The Mystery Shack: Come for the mysteries! Stay because I stole your tyres and you can't leave!
DrNoPuma [1] from a place that is both happy and terrifying. :P Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Oct 24th 2016 at 4:23:09 AM

How to select items to destroy: Select items that are easily breakable and of little value. Do not attempt to destroy any item that does not belong to you. Do not attempt to destroy living creatures as well. If you do either of these things, you will be arrested.

anza_sb indefinite hiatus from nowhere Relationship Status: In Spades with myself
indefinite hiatus
Oct 24th 2016 at 4:32:04 AM

How to be arrested: Do crime.

tumut
Oct 24th 2016 at 4:33:33 AM

How to do: Realize the futility of you're actions. Give up. Do something else. We're all gonna die anyways.

edited 24th Oct '16 4:42:42 AM by Sedmikrasky

ArmoredFury pat the angel from the line of fire, once again
pat the angel
Oct 24th 2016 at 4:38:16 AM

How to die: Lie down and stop breathing.

Fight, in this endless night, until the dawn.
anza_sb indefinite hiatus from nowhere Relationship Status: In Spades with myself
indefinite hiatus
Oct 24th 2016 at 5:57:29 AM

How to lie down: Find a flat horizontal place for you to lie on, preferably a comfy one. Position the back of your head, your back, the back of your legs and your posterior on the flat place, parallel to it. Philosophical thoughts optional.

tumut
DrNoPuma [1] from a place that is both happy and terrifying. :P Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Oct 24th 2016 at 7:42:42 AM

How to think philosophical thoughts: There are many philosophical things to think about. For example, one might think about the meaning of life. One might think about how the universe was created. One might think about the best way to spend one's life.

Tranquilis The Tranquil Knight from *Clap Clap Clap* Deep in the Heart of Texas Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
The Tranquil Knight
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:01:20 AM

How to live: Breathe.

edited 24th Oct '16 8:01:31 AM by Tranquilis

Dead for the foreseeable future. Towergirls will return when I do.
BaconZorp see you, space cowboy. from general dysphoria Relationship Status: Consider his love an honor
see you, space cowboy.
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:13:16 AM

How to breathe: Stop trying to die and open your mouth.

DrNoPuma [1] from a place that is both happy and terrifying. :P Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:15:31 AM

How to open your mouth: Move your lower jaw downwards. Now you can do a multitude of things, such as eat, breathe, or talk.

RandomWriter413 Kylo Ren from On the ceiling, winking at you Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Kylo Ren
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:17:24 AM

How to eat: First, open your mouth! Then, place food into....

...Not that much food.

Once you have an amount you can chew, start chewing!

Then, swallow!

CAUTION: Seriously, not that much food. What idiot tries fitting an entire Whopper in their mouth?

You know, he's actually a pretty well written antagonist.
arcada188 ignite from Bad Soldierdom
ignite
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:19:36 AM

How to chew: Crush the food inside your mouth with your jaws so it will be just bits that you can swallow. Luckily, you have teeth for it.

Does Fire Man complain about how hot he is? Because I'm supposed to be a direct upgrade on his design, and I don't even want to move...
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:21:28 AM

How to swallow!: Open your mouth.

Close your eyes.

Get ready for a big surprise.

Don't spit.

Works best if you are female.

How to crush teeth: Take a hammer at that guy who made you swallow and knock his teeth out.

[down]Plz tell me you are just joking.

edited 24th Oct '16 8:24:44 AM by NegaKingKix

Afterwards back from the dead from Stairway to the Sky Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
back from the dead
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:22:34 AM

dammit skip me

also binch it works just fine if youre male quit bein a heteronormative sh@t

edited 24th Oct '16 8:23:16 AM by Afterwards

the cake is an alternative fact
arcada188 ignite from Bad Soldierdom
ignite
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:26:36 AM

How to take a hammer: Find a hammer, which looks like this, and grasp it firmly with your fingers. Alternatively, close your eyes and grab anything that feels like a rod. You took a hammer! Works best if you are female.

Does Fire Man complain about how hot he is? Because I'm supposed to be a direct upgrade on his design, and I don't even want to move...
RandomWriter413 Kylo Ren from On the ceiling, winking at you Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Kylo Ren
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:29:54 AM

How to take: Find something you want, and grab it, before running.

Seriously, you're breaking the law.

Violence may be an option, if you can't just grab it.

You know, he's actually a pretty well written antagonist.
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:32:42 AM

How to break the law: Take hammer in earlier instructions and kill as many people as you can without being shot.

Afterwards back from the dead from Stairway to the Sky Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
back from the dead
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:35:00 AM

[up][up][up][up][up]i mean i am just joking in the sense that im not actually upset but it does work just fine if youre male trust me

How to find a hammer: Go to your nearest hardware store. Get your friend to distract the cashier by asking for help with something ridiculous. With the cashier gone, go behind the front desk and search through the sensitive documents until you find the map. Once acquired, bail (with or without your friend) and set off towards the nearest volcano. From there, follow the map into the deepest depths until you find the secret treasure room. Only one of the hammers is the correct one, and you must replace it with something else that weighs exactly the same. If you fail to do this, or take the wrong one, the entire cave will collapse and then the volcano will erupt, killing millions and destroying the local wildlife. Once you succeed in taking the correct hammer, you are now free to smite your foes and dance in the blood of your enemies. Works best if you're female.

[down]but............. where is that mentioned in my thing...............

edited 24th Oct '16 9:03:01 AM by Afterwards

the cake is an alternative fact
Revaryk Grumpy/Lazy Shrine Maiden from somewhere Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Grumpy/Lazy Shrine Maiden
Oct 24th 2016 at 8:44:36 AM

How to find love: Find someone you like in a romantic and other way. Don't resort to kidnapping or the like.

WARNING: Be Attitude for Gains - NO REFUGE.
hamza678 Red Like Santa from Christmas Beacon.
Red Like Santa
Oct 24th 2016 at 9:08:42 AM

How To find someone you like Constantly follow your target until they break down and accept your advances.Resort to kidnapping if that doesn't work.

edited 24th Oct '16 9:09:31 AM by hamza678

Now known as Cyber Controller
arcada188 ignite from Bad Soldierdom
ignite
Oct 24th 2016 at 9:16:27 AM

How to kidnap people: Corner the person you want to kidnap, grab him firmly so he/she can't escape. Protip: tie him or her up. Grab him/her and as secretly as possible get him to your basement in your house. Works best if you are female.

Does Fire Man complain about how hot he is? Because I'm supposed to be a direct upgrade on his design, and I don't even want to move...

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