Fix a wish!

Granted! You turn into the mayfly that inspires Carl Sagan to write the line about the fleetingness of human existence.

I wish Disney would recreate every animated film in their catalog in the photorealistic style of The Lion King.

Granted. They clean up a lot of the outdated, uncomfortable elements and change just enough things to make the remakes even better than the originals.

I wish to fall off a cliff.

You fall off a cliff, with a air landing pad below you. AKA you had a fun time.

I wish I could no longer breathe.

Granted. You can no longer breath, but you also no longer need that. Your body regenerates oxygen on its own.

I wish I was robbed.

You were robbed... OF YOUR PREDJUDICES! Now you're much cooler than you were before.

I wish I thought the Room was unironically well written.

Granted, you think that because it’s now true.

I wish for an army of ninjas to attack me.

Granted, you win with help of Conservation of Ninjutsu and Plot Armor, and look really cool in the process.

I wish for crippling debt.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Feb 22nd 2021 at 6:44:19 AM

Granted. You succeed at crippling debt, so now everyone can pay back what they owe and the economy improves.

I wish to have all my limbs cut off.

And the origin story of my GET THAT PIZZA! incarnation is finally revealed!

Edited by NineTailedCat on Feb 22nd 2021 at 1:55:43 AM

Granted. Those limbs are now regenerative, causing you to essentially be able to have multiple clones of yourself. Not to mention those clones can make a lot of hard work easier.

I wish for the most popular horror game antagonists to be real, thus hunting me down.

They are now real. . . A real part of the new hit show Terror Surprise that is!

As part of the new episode they will hunt you down to surprise you with a cake, if you answer the trivia you can win. . . A Brand New Car!

I wish I was a loyal Jedi defeated in a fight with a menacing Sith Lord, who took me to a lava pool and had me painfully Anakined so I would never become one with the force.

Edited by vjoi on Feb 22nd 2021 at 1:40:09 AM

Granted, the Sith Lord defeats you by knocking your lightsaber in the lava: you are uninjured. The Sith Lord then force grabs you and holds you above the lava pool and forces to be "painfully Anakined", that is, he forces you on pain of death to say weird cringy stuff about sand. However, while doing so, he holds you up a bit too high and you now have the high ground: taking advantage of this, you hit the Sith Lord with a blast of Force Deus ex Machina and cause him to fall into the lava and disintegrate. You are granted the rank of Jedi Master for defeating the Sith Lord to boot. You wouldn't be able to become one with the force if the Sith Lord actually fully won, but, since he didn't, you're fine.

I wish I had Elmuh Fudd Syndwome.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Feb 22nd 2021 at 1:55:21 AM

Granted, you sound Adorkable and everyone loves it.

I wish to explode.

Granted, you reform immediately.

I wish I was smeared with waste.

Granted, you are smeared with the energy exhaust of a Cosmic Entity. Thankfully said entity is actually benevolent and made sure their exhaust would not destroy any beings that encounter it, so you now have the ability to provide nearly unlimited energy to the entire world.

I wish Metroid Prime 4 would keep the authorization system from Metroid: Other M.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Feb 27th 2021 at 1:08:04 AM

It’s improved so much it’s one of the selling points and makes the game so much better.

I wish arghhh!

You become the Anthropomorphic Personification of arghhh, granting you power over anguish, horror, rage, and any other emotions that could elicit an arghhh.

I wish SCP 682 appeared beside each person who posted or will post on this game.

Granted. It's the 682nd incarnation of the Sporting Clube de Portugal, so everyone gets to have fun watching football.

I wish I was dead.

Granted, you're dead GORGEOUS!

I wish I lose all my money.

And then you gain it back 10 seconds later 10 fold.

I wish this post was in corrupt a wish.

Granted, but it is wished not by you but by the Ultimate Personification of Evil Itself, and the genie corrupts it from the UPoEI's perspective, which, from your perspective, is instead a massive improvement in quality of life for all people everywhere.

I wish I was up against Kasparov in a chess game that causes me to die if I lose and Kasparov doesn't show any mercy thanks to that fact.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Mar 3rd 2021 at 3:09:04 AM

Granted. Since you didn't specify which Kasparov, you end up against Garry's five-year-old son and win easily.

I wish my house would burn down.

Granted. It is rebuilt up and looks better than before.

I wish the Supreme Court consisted entirely of Hollywood Atheists.

Granted, they are a bunch of atheists who all have at least once lived in Hollywood, California. They turn out to be quite agreeable, empathic, effective, and thoughtful without being smug, and all peoples of all creed across the United States and the rest of the world through relations with the United States benefit from their decision making.

I wish I was a fictional character.

Granted, you're a God-Mode Sue without any drawbacks.

I wish to be diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Granted. The initial diagnosis is wrong, owing to the Voluntary Shapeshifting powers you just discovered you have.

I wish to get Drunk on the Dark Side and lose control.

Edited by Arcane101 on Mar 5th 2021 at 8:18:14 AM