Fix a wish!

you never have to go to the pharmacy for a refill, however, because you also get a lifetime supply of hormones

i wish i tripped on every sidewalk curb for the rest of my life

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

Granted, and you look cool doing so, so it's okay!

I wish every video game only had a Harder Than Hard difficulty setting and required 100 hours of studying just to get past the tutorial.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted, the video games on very hard difficulty that require studying are actually secretly advanced physics problems in entertainment disguise, that, when finally solved/beaten, give access to radical new technologies. Eventually, they are all beaten and all the new knowledge is combined to recreate the entire universe into a practically perfect utopia. Nobody cares about video games anymore since you can just run video-game-like scenarios in real life with no bad consequences.

I wish I was a piece of fruit.

You are a piece (a part) of fruit (the offspring created by your mother. Yay, archaic definitions!).

I wish to relive today forever.

Edited by jaketroper on Jul 3rd 2020 at 10:46:23 AM

Alright! You do that, as well as everyone other living thing, so you don't drive yourself crazy with the feeling of loneliness in a crowd. Also, the food supply resets every day so no one goes hungry eventually! And it's a very nice day for you to hang out.

I wish that the Earth was sucked into a black hole

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

Granted. The black hole it's sucked into turns out to be a gateway to an alternate reality where it's conveniently close to all manner of other habitable worlds and friendly aliens.

I wish to be remembered and go down in history as someone who was shot in the head by a genie.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Bump

Granted, but you went down as a sacrifice, saving the entire universe from the evil genie who would’ve killed everyone.

I wish I was a pie!

Ok bitch it's Weezer and it's Weezy

Granted! You are Anthropomorphic Food. You enjoy this very much, especially being eaten!

I wish I would fill every thread I post in with useless stuff.

Edited by jaketroper on Jul 13th 2020 at 7:42:00 AM

Granted. The useless stuff you spam the forums with is actually the coordinates to the golden city of El Dolrodo.

I wish my house would catch on fire.

Granted, but you are peacefully brought up to heaven during your sleep!

I wish Donald Trump recreated the events of Pink Floyd’s, “The Wall.”

Ok bitch it's Weezer and it's Weezy

Granted, it all happens allegorically in his head, aside from the part where The Wall falls down, which instead happens for real.

I wish making Reality Breaking Paradoxes was not only physically possible but could be done in anyone's garage.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Jul 14th 2020 at 11:45:16 AM

Granted, but the paradoxes only happen in Pocket Dimensions that are specially created for the purpose. This reality, however, cannot have its reality broken.

I wish this universe’s heat death would occur tomorrow.

Granted. Earth is transported to a new universe before heat death occurs.

I wish to go skydiving without a parachute.

Granted, you get an Iron Man suit instead of a parachute.

I wish I was transported to the absolutely least ideal possible timeline.

bump

granted! you join forces with a few people from this timeline and others, and together you turn the worst timeline into one of the best ones!

---

I wish my foot got impaled on a fence post every time I jumped a fence

A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!

Granted, but it gives you superpowers! And every time you jump over a fence, your powers improve!

Edited by DookieIdiotNimrod on Jul 16th 2020 at 5:17:28 AM

Ok bitch it's Weezer and it's Weezy

Your lack of a wish is interpreted as wishing for phenomenal cosmic power^note Without the Itty-Bitty Living Space™!

I wish I were forced to make a wish every hour, corrupted by genies from Corrupt-A-Wish.

Granted. The genies feel nice to you and don't corrupt your wish.

I wish a squeal to The Last Airbender movie was made.

Granted, no crappy sequel ever gets made due to all the squealing over all the issues of the first movie.

I wish to get some kind of reading on that shield, up or down. But how could they be jamming us if they don't know...that they're coming?

Edited by DeepFiemott on Jul 17th 2020 at 9:48:50 AM

Granted, the reading tell you everything about the shield you want to know.

I wish to get 'd every time I post.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted, but for some reason, your posts always fit in despite being ’d.

I wish that being around me would cause others to be Driven to Suicide

Granted, a fluffy barrier spawns around them to stop their attempts at suicide.

I wish I could turn into a world-ending black hole if I get angry.

Granted, you're Kirby, and all your wrath is directed to abominations that would otherwise end the world. You can also stop crisis.

I wish Nintendo and all of it's games cease to exist.

Edited by Oggy123 on Jul 17th 2020 at 10:38:22 PM