Random Questions Thread

Does anyone here have experience writing creative nonfiction/narrative essays? If so, do you have any advice on how much internal dialogue/commentary on the events to include, and where to put it? I'm a little inexperienced, and I can't find much guidance online (save for reading other essays).

There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

@Ars: I dont think that the use of first vs. third person is the issue—the use of the present tense is. Once you have chosen to do it that way, some dissonance for the reader is inevitable, due to the unfamiliarity of the tense. But if this work is presented as a kind of live action RPG, then readers should be able to adjust.

I remember doing that in academic papers I wrote in college, the combination between describing events and commenting on them, and my thought is that that is as much an art as balancing dialogue and description in a piece of fictional prose. Meaning there's no hard and fast rules on just how much is okay, and the guidelines are going to be dependent on what exactly you're trying to say with this piece.

My first piece of advice is to try and combine the recounting of the events and the commentary on the events together as much as you can. Since my collegiate essays were meant to be persuasive (and since you're commentating in this piece, I'm going to guess you're trying to persuade, as well), I did this by writing about the events through the point of view that I was trying to persuade the reader from. Instead of something to the effect of "Event X happened. Event X means Thing A.", I'd do something more like "Event X happened in a Thing A sort of way." The former makes the reader mentally switch gears between events and commentary, which you don't want, while the latter makes it easier for the reader to associate your perspective directly with the events, persuading them more easily. It also helps keep you from going too far into a tangent, in my experience.

It's a relatively easy fix that leads right into my next piece of advice- keep an eye on the bigger picture. Every single word, line, paragraph, and section of your work needs to be contributing to an overall goal somehow. A thesis, if you will. When you're deciding what details and bits of commentary to include or leave out, consider them in terms of what they say in relation to past lines, and how they progress the line of thinking your piece as a whole is putting forth. What idea is it putting forth or building upon, and how does that idea contribute to your thesis? What is lost if you don't include it?

It's a process that works remarkably well in fiction writing, as well. Hope that helps!

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."

What positive attributes and traits that can be represented by chickens?

Context:
In modern times, chickens are associated with cowardice and fearfulness. For example, "Don't chicken out, Alyssa!" is often used as a childish taunt. In Kaom Amarelo (Asian slaves in the Amida story) culture, the chicken is used as an emblem because it is associated with several positive traits and attributes.

Checking the religion and mythology section on Wikipedia's article on chickens, roosters tend to be associated with valor, with the Talmud especially associating them with courtesy to one's mate. Rooster calls also tend to be associated with dispelling evil (see cockatrice and basilisk myths), likely because they always start crowing at or near sunrise, so you could easily get a solar or dawn association there.

Hens, like most fowl, were historically valued for their eggs more than their meat (which is why in the old days, hens were only slaughtered for special meals when they were too old to lay eggs), and religious ceremonies tend to use them as stand-ins for lives. Eggs in general have associations with creation, birth, and life (see 'cosmic egg' creation myths), so I could easily see a creator or mother goddess with hen features in a culture that domesticated chickens before ducks or other fowl.

Don't be afraid to practice free association when coming up with an original mythology. I always try to see if I can find out the reasons why a belief may have come about, and take that reasoning in a different direction, or I combine related ideas together. It's a lot of fun, and usually results in something kind of original.

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."

The whole "chickens are dumb/cowardly" idea is also most likely a product of urbanization, because I was looking up chicken-farming for my feudal-era Otherworld and it turns out both hens AND roosters can get really fucking vicious. Roosters defend the hens from threats and the bigger ones are fully able to kill a mid-sized hawk.

We have the term "pecking order" because they adhere to a strict hierarchy, and many chicken-owners warn you that you can't let sick/injured hens back into the main coop until they recover sufficiently, because the others might KILL THEM for being weak. Similarly, you can't let hens with chicks into the main coop too soon because the other hens might kill the chicks. And it might be hard to find the bodies because well, chickens are omnivores and they sometimes eat their deceased flock-mates.

Then there's cock-fighting, very common in South Asia (especially the Philippines, and it's reportedly still common as long as you don't talk too much to the authorities.)

Edited by Sharysa on Dec 18th 2019 at 7:08:55 AM

I fear that perhaps I'm still being unclear: the work in question is, in fact, a video-game; it's not a non-interactive work that presents itself as one. Indeed, for the purposes of this discussion, perhaps it's better to leave aside the RPG stuff and just think of it as a Visual Novel.

While I can see writing this game in the past tense, I feel that it would lose immediacy if I were to do so.

But still, even if I were to write in the past tense, the question of perspective would surely still be there (in my mind, at least)—it would just be a matter of telling the player how they "felt" or "thought", rather than how they "feel" or "think".

My Games & Writing

Do you think people would take an issue with it if i named my black, shadow-powered superhero "Darkworker"?¨ Because i really can't come up with anything else shadow-related, and people don't like itt when black superheroes have "black" or a related word in their names

Edited by Nukeli on Dec 18th 2019 at 8:47:18 PM

~ * Bleh * ~ (Looking for a russian-speaker to consult about names and words for a thing)

@Ars: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... Well, never mind then.

I think it's first person in that case. It shouldn't be dissonant to tell the player what the character experiences or remembers from previous experience, because there is no other way for the player to get that information. I personally would find it more immersive, not dissonant. In fact, a video game that included smells in the narration would be different and interesting, allowing me to expand my imaginary engagement with the character and the setting.

BUT- don't make it too long or extensive. When you walk into a room, for example, it takes only a second or two to experience the sensory input. If you make the description too long you will begin to interfere with the verisimilitude of the narration. A few sentences per scene are all that is needed or wanted, I think.

@Nukeli: Yes, some will, but that shouldn't necessarily stop you from using it anyway. As with most things, it will all come down to how you use it in the story. If you could give us some more details about the character we might be able to offer more specific advice.

Edited by DeMarquis on Dec 18th 2019 at 2:11:06 PM

It's kinda complicated. There's The story and The Backstory, and each has a separate character by that name.

The first Darkworker, Ruprecht Rapp, is an [[afro-German https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhineland_Bastard]], shadow-powered metahuman who fought the nazis with his twin sister, like a two-man Inglorious Bastards, and until 1941 he was a mere ghost story people whispered to each other, until the nazis created super soldiers in 1941. Darkworker fought the supersoldiers all around occupied Europe, while continuing to sabotage the nazi war effort and terrorize random people and soldiers, until he died in battle 1945 by collapsing a burning bulding on himself and the last surviving super soldier, killing them both when he couldn't win the fight. Rapp posthumously became known as the world's first superhero.

The germanic/norse mythology is real in this story, so reincarnation is a thing. People who get reincarnated don't retain any of their memories or very many personality traits from their previous life, but their souls (the person's basic personality, their very being, their nature) enters a new body, while some kind o a ghost, kind of an 'echo' remains in the afterlife with the previous 'echoes' until the guy dies for good, kinda like the characters with nine lives from Warrior Cats books. I haven't really thought that part out because there'a next to no information on viking beliefs about rebirth, so i'm making this up as i go along, but it skips a generation.

The second Darkworker, Rapp's next life, is the comic's main character, Jan Brandt, who's Rapp's sister's grandson. Because of the way reincarnation works and because he grew up in a much better world, Jan is very different from Rapp despite the fact they have the same soul. Jan, for one, doesn't want to kill his enemies in the situations where it would be a good idea.

The story starts when teenage Jan moves to Berlin to study, and becomes roommates with two other major characters, and manifests the same powers as Rapp had (long story but they were somewhere they shouldn't be and almost got hit by a subway train. Jan, who can among other things vanish/turn intangible/turn invisible while standing in a shadow, instinctively 'shadow-stepped' all three out of the way), and he starts trying to see what he can do with them. Jan ends up fighting a supervillain (hiding his identity with a halloween mask), and becomes a superhero. Neither Jan or anybody in his family knows why he has same powers as Rapp (except his grandmother, Rapp's sister, who knows Jan is Rapp's grandson, she never told anybody Rapp was her brother), and the question remains in the background until at some point (i dunno what would be a good time), the relation is revealed, and, in an even more later point, the reincarnation is explained.

Edited by Nukeli on Dec 18th 2019 at 10:04:45 PM

~ * Bleh * ~ (Looking for a russian-speaker to consult about names and words for a thing)

OK, so the main problematic implication that I detect is that you have an African descended protag (in the prologue) who just happens to have "shadow powers." That's going to set off some red flags in many people's minds. The easiest way to correct this is to give shadow-like abilities to some non-African descended characters, so that you make it clear that this is indeed just a coincidence.

Unless of course it isn't, in which case you have a whole other set of problems.

Edited by DeMarquis on Dec 18th 2019 at 3:15:20 PM

I came up with the whole thing (i gave him shadow powers because that type of powers seemed to be more rare in superhero comics) before deciding the character's ethnicy, i don't remember why i made them black, but the implications weren't my intention. I didn't even realize somebody could see implications in it.

Edited by Nukeli on Dec 18th 2019 at 10:38:55 PM

~ * Bleh * ~ (Looking for a russian-speaker to consult about names and words for a thing)

@De Marquis

Fair enough, and thank you for the advice! ^_^

I'm not yet sure of how long my narrations are going to be, but I will confess that I can be a bit wordy. Especially in cases where multiple senses might want for expression!

Still, I'll try to keep in mind a desire for brevity—but without sacrificing richness—I intend.

(For the same of clarity, I'll mention that the excerpts above weren't from the game itself, just made up for use as examples here. They're inspired by what I have thus far, however.)

Well, I am relieved that there's no call to rewrite what I thus far have in a new perspective! ^^;

[edit] A new question, if I may:

If you saw in a fantasy work the name "Letherh", how would you be inclined to pronounce it?

Edited by ArsThaumaturgis on Dec 18th 2019 at 1:56:38 PM

My Games & Writing

Is it too far fetched if a character is able to consciously create another personality(As in split personality) for themselves to cope with their existential dread and feeling of hopelessness?

Edited by Andermann on Dec 21st 2019 at 6:22:28 PM

I'm afraid to write, but I like to imagine.

Most psychologists are skeptical of claims that people split off personalities subconsciously, let alone consciously. How would someone even go about doing something like that?

Technically, there IS a way you can spawn a new personality—my theatre professor has warned me that when he went to learn Suzuki acting in a REALLY intensive program, they legit needed therapists to keep them all grounded in their own personalities/lives because being in school, they couldn't step back out in the regular world for a couple of weeks.

If you don't have enough time to decompress after a rehearsal/performance period (which lasts 1-2 months, usually) you're gonna have trouble letting go of your character. And not just for "method" acting—a lot of people think acting is "playing pretend/dress-up for grownups," which is often how we explain it ourselves, but it's actually more like "you are going through the circumstances of the show."

The fact that my prof needed a therapist probably means it's more subconscious than conscious, but a particularly struggling actor MIGHT intentionally "lose themselves" in their character because they don't want to deal with whatever's happening in their offstage lives.

Of course, this also presumes that they either DON'T have a therapist to begin with (bad/inexperienced or just plain cheap teachers who don't think it's "that serious?" or just don't want to foot the bill?) or that their therapist is, well, BAD at their job.

Edited by Sharysa on Dec 21st 2019 at 6:26:19 AM

I didn't think of method acting. It's interesting to know how intense Suzuki can get. I'll have to learn more about that. But that sounds less like a case of someone splitting a second personality off and more a case of someone having a different character forced over their normal one? I'm not sure that is what Anderman was asking for.

Technically the persona wouldn't be FORCED on them, since they presumably wanted to play the character for regular reasons. The issue is when an actor doesn't let go of the character, such as staying in-character offstage or out of rehearsal, and basically starts getting Lost in Character.

There's a reason Method Acting is a REALLY contentious technique. Even on the Wiki page, it mentions the psychological minefield that "becoming a character" can be.

Edited by Sharysa on Dec 21st 2019 at 7:44:19 AM

Argh, I just now realised that I made a significant mistake in the statement of my earlier question—the one about which "person" to use in my game's narration. I indicated that I was currently using first-person—which, I now realise, is incorrect. I'm using second-person narration.

That is, I'm not writing in either of the following styles:

(i.e. First- or third- person, respectively.)

Rather, I'm writing in the following style:
I feel really silly for having made this mistake. >_<;;

So, does this change the answer to my question, do you think? Given that this is, essentially, a visual novel—something akin to a Gamebook—but one in which the protagonist has a defined name, personality, and history, is the choice of second-person narration a problem?

On the one hand, it matches the game-mechanical perspective, and has precedent in gamebooks. On the other, I'm essentially telling the player what they think, feel, and so on.

My Games & Writing

That actually makes more sense, yes.

Ah, good—that is a relief, and thank you! :D

My Games & Writing

Hi there. I need help with one thing. To determine which injury my character for planned superhero/thriller/action novel is more plausible. It's basically my question from November, but this time I hope I won't confuse anybody.
Quick background info: 21st century, Alternate History happened. Nazis never existed (but USSR did). World War II still happened, with USSR starting the war (and Japan and USA still fought each other). The war with USSR ended in a stalemate, as the world was ravaged by a deadly virus. The virus was a part of a Super-Soldier program as a catalyst to awaken a hidden potential within humans - superpowers. The virus was accidentally released and it spread like wildfire. The chaos ensued.
Out of the chaos and confusion caused by Parahumans emerging from the infected, as well as general fear of communist aggression, Europe was unified into a European Dominion.
In 2019, the war between Russia and China escalated. Russian army nuked Beijing. The Dominion decided to intervene, wanting to prevent nuclear world war. First, with a network of satellites called "Blacklight", they prevented the Chinese and Russian armies from firing more nukes by shooting them down. Afterwards, the ED sided with China and declared war against Russia. Thus, Eurasian War begun.
And, the unfortunate character is named Pavel Orzechowski. He's a Parahuman. More exactly, a Technopath. He lost his right eye during the war, and his right arm in a terrorist attack months after the war ended (BTW, if you were asking, Russia got crushed, forever losing their status as a global superpower).
Now, for the limb losing events. Basically, I want to pick a plausible scenarios (as in - possible to survive without Plot Armor). For the eye, he lost it during a serious fight during last month of the war. As for the arm, he was in near proximity of the bomb laid by a Parahuman-hating radical terrorist group seeking their extermination. He was at a wrong place at a wrong time.
In case of right eye, should it be a grenade shrapnel, a bullet or having it slashed out of by enemy soldier? As for the arm, the explosion or having his arm crushed by the debris?
If you have any suggestions or advice, I'm all ears.

Edited by ArcticDog18 on Dec 28th 2019 at 10:20:24 AM

I will become a great writer one day! Hopefully...

As far as battlefield injuries go, grenade shrapnels are fairly common causes so I'd suggest you go with that.

If that's too mundane, well, have the character lose them by the hands of this Parahuman you mentioned. Literally, with bare hands.

I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.

The Parahuman I mentioned IS the one losing an eye and an arm. But, I'll take the grenade shrapnel scenario. Now, the arm losing event. Should it be a bomb explosion, debris crushing it to the point of having it amputated or something else? And, before you ask, his arm had to be amputated up to his elbow.

I will become a great writer one day! Hopefully...

Battlefield injuries are so varied, and the end result of so many random factors, that almost anything can be justified.