Hello, Troper. I'm glad you've come. I offer you my hospitality and blessings. Unless it's Tim reading this, because really, Tim, screw you. Nobody even likes you, just shut up any go away.
I'd rather not tell you anything about myself, but I'd still like to look like I have have a well-fleshed-out page. So I'm just going to write stuff. Seriously. Stuff. Just complete and utter random stuff. I have literally nothing to say here, but I'm thinking that if I just write a bunch of things with no relevance, I'll at least look like I do. And boy, can I write stuff. Just stuff, everywhere, like nobody's business. It's funny, I need absolutely no subject matter matter to produce a ton of text. This has no substance whatsoever but there's a ton of it. You kind of have to wonder how much stuff you say every day is completely content-lacking fluff like this, you know? All you have to do is repeat any point you make as many times as possible but paraphrase it each time. And then you can get a bunch of writing exactly like the kind that I'm doing right now. Okay, not exactly, but that's the charm of it. Each massive load of fluff is subtly differentiated from the next, but in any practical way, they're completely the same. You've basically been reading the same thing over an over so far, assuming you're actually reading this. Which is a stretch. This is really, really uninteresting, and likely to get boring quite quickly, but on the other hand, how boring would it be if I was actually talking about something? Can't things be more boring that the lack thereof sometimes? Not really, but that question added another sentence to this text-hogging wall of meaningless text. And really, in the end, that's all that matters in a something like this. Because if it did mean anything it would be kind of defeat the point of this massive, pointless text wall. You know, I'm hardly running out of things to write at all. This stuff sort of just comes to me. It's almost interesting that our language is formatted so as to allow such things, you know? Should it really be possible to use a language properly and say nothing despite a great output of words, as I'm doing now? Is that an efficient way to make a medium of communication? Yes, probably. That's another great strategy when typing at length about nothing. Go off on a certain point, elaborate on it thoroughly, then deny it for the obvious reason. Great fodder for text-walling, and it's completely and utterly pointless, because you explicitly state at the end that everything you've just been elaborating on is completely untrue.
I really hope you didn't read all that.
Tropes that apply to me:
- Arch-Enemy: Tim, that bastard...
- Crazy Awesome: I once ended an oppressive political regime with a paperclip, a spoon, an overstuffed chair, and a red clown nose
- Even the Guys Want Him: With stunning good looks like mine, you can't really avoid it.
- Made of Iron: My rock-hard abs have deflected nuclear missiles.
- Magnificent Bastard: Whether or not you've read my book
- Mr. Fanservice: Hey, show it if you've got it.
- Rule of Cool: Many of the things I do are technically not possible, but so damn cool that the universe itself changes to allow them.
- Rule of Sexy: Likewise, it's physically impossible to be as good-looking as I am.
- Stupid Sexy Flanders: Again, the stunning good looks will cause it whether I want it or not.
- Sex God: My sheer sexiness transcends the bounds of reality and becomes a godlike power.
- So Cool It's Awesome: Of course.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Hey, am not!
- Tall, Dark and Handsome
- The Ace: At literally everything.
- The Charmer: Oh yes, ladies...
- The Chosen One: I'm mentioned in several prophecies. Okay, technically they just refer to "a being so awesome it defies description" but come on, that's totally me.
- The Omnipotent: For all practical purposes, the sheer amount of awesome I can divulge makes me this.
Vandalism is welcome, as it's a form of paying attention to me.
- Greetings, Mr. Ted Baxter! —Füsch
- Such charisma, swoon! -Canidaemon
