Recap / Taskmaster Series Nine

Taskmaster recap index
British series:
Series: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen
Specials: Champion of Champions | New Year Treats and One-Offs
New Zealand series:
Seasons: One | Two | Three | Four
Australian series:
Seasons: One

Cast

Clockwise from left: Ed Gamble, David Baddiel, Katy Wix, Greg Davies (seated), Alex Horne, Jo Brand, Rose Matafeo

• Taskmaster: Greg Davies
• Taskmaster's Assistant: Alex Horne
• Contestants: David Baddiel, Ed Gamble, Jo Brand, Katy Wix, Rose Matafeo
• Teams:
  • David Baddiel and Jo Brand ("The Oldies")
  • Ed Gamble, Katy Wix and Rose Matafeo ("The Puppies")

NOTE: Owing to illness, Katy Wix was unable to participate in the studio recordings for Episodes 5 and 6. Her place in the studio was taken by Kerry Godliman and Katherine Ryan respectively.

This page contains unmarked spoilers for the series in question. If you haven't seen the series yet, you are recommended to leave the page now. You have been warned.

Episodes

Episode 1 - "Join Our Cult"

• Prize Task: Most Stressful Thing
  • Winner: Katy - a teapot of her own making where the spout is at a ninety-degree angle to the handle (5 points)
  • David - an empty toilet roll (4 points)
  • Jo - the musical score for Bach's Toccata #4 in D minor, which she once had to perform at the Royal Albert Hall in front of 8000 people (3 points)
  • Ed and Rose (2 points)
    • Ed - a compilation mixtape of stressful sounds
    • Rose - an unspooled cassette tape, allegedly containing the true identity of the assassin of John F. Kennedy^note the panel ended up concluding that Peter Andre was somehow the assassin

• Task 1: Hide Three Aubergines^note eggplants (🍆🍆🍆) In This Room. Longest Time For The Taskmaster's Assistant To Find Them Wins
  • Winner: Ed (5 points)
  • Rose (4 points)
  • Katy (3 points)
  • Jo (2 points)
  • David (1 point)

• Task 2: Arrange These Ice Lollies In Order Of Rainbow Colour While Blindfolded. You May Only Take Off Your Blindfold Goggles If You Find The Dodo. You May Only Accuse One Thing Of Being The Dodo^note the test area was surrounded by statues, including a dodo
  • Winner: Ed and Rose (5 points)^note Ed was the only contestant to locate the dodo. Despite this, he made the exact same errors in colour placing as Rose, who was blindfolded throughout
  • David and Jo (3 points)
  • Katy (1 point)

• Task 3: Make The Most Dramatic Entrance In One Hour
  • Winner: Rose - a lengthy shot of the Taskmaster House gates to build suspense before Rose, dressed to camouflage with the bushes, runs into shot and screams "STELLA!!!" (5 points)
  • Ed and Jo (4 points)
    • Ed - a trio of sinister monks, two with dolls heads for faces, ominously enter the house designed to look like a death metal-style altar... before Ed removes his robe and cheerfully says "Hello Alex!"
    • Jo - Jo as Henry VIII unveiling the screaming head of one of "his" "wives", played by the Taskmaster's Assistant
  • Katy - four "cultists" (dressed as elderly women) attached to Katy enter the house and quietly ask the Taskmaster's Assistant to join them (3 points)
  • David - a Doctor Who-style materialisation in the house's red phone box dressed as the 13th Doctor, which he lost confidence in halfway through (1 point)

• Live Task: Draw The Second Longest Snake On Toilet Paper. Your Snake Must Be At Least Half An Inch Wide At All Points And Neatly Curled Up Again After Three Minutes. Bonus Point For Best Snake
  • Winner: David (5 points)
  • Rose (+1 bonus point)
  • Everyone Else (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Rose Matafeo (17 points)
  2. Ed Gamble (16 points)
  3. David Baddiel (14 points)
  4. Jo Brand and Katy Wix (12 points)

Episode 2 - "Butter in the Microwave"

• Prize Task: Best Bag
  • Winner: Rose - a bag of her own making with the word "BEST" crocheted onto it (5 points)
  • Katy - a bagpipe with no pipes (4 points)
  • Jo - a sanitary towel disposable bag (3 points)
  • Ed - a "belly bum bag"^note a belt bag with a photographic pattern of a rather overweight stomach (2 points)
  • David - a large bag of super-sour sweets^note which the Taskmaster proceeded to force-feed to his Assistant (1 point)

• Task 1: Correctly Identify Which Red Wheelie-Bin The Taskmaster's Assistant Is In With One Guess^note There are 5 bins numbered 1 through 5. Bin #1 was half full of water, #2 contained several mannequin parts, #3 contained several kitchen implements, #4 contained a stereo playing back breathing sounds, and #5 contained the Taskmaster's Assistant.. You Must Adhere To All Seven Commandments^note  1 - You may wheel one bin three metres; 2 - You may gently shake one bin; 3 - You may strike one bin with a frying pan; 4 - You may push one bin over; 5 - You may listen to one bin with a stethoscope; 6 - You may avert your eyes and drop one thing into one bin; 7 - You may phone the Taskmaster's Assistant's phone from the phone in the red phone box. No Bins Are To Be Opened Unless Authorised. Fastest Correct Guess Wins
  • Winner: Ed - 3 minutes 40 seconds (5 points)^note identified through Commandment 7 by dialling the Assistant's number and then listening at the bins
  • David - 6 minutes 53 seconds (4 points)^note identified through Commandment 6 by dropping a leafblower into the correct bin
  • Jo,^note who didn't use all of the commandments Katy^note who believed she could outsmart the system and picked a bin based on how close it was to the ground and Rose^note who failed to spot a task underneath Bin #2 which would have revealed a clue to the location of the Taskmaster's Assistant; she also dropped the stethoscope into the correct bin, but it somehow managed to miss the Assistant completely(Disqualified)^note failed to locate the Taskmaster's Assistant

• Task 2: Draw A Portrait Of The Taskmaster On 16 A1 Flipchart Sheets. You May Not Remove The Sheets From The Flipchart While Drawing. The Portrait Will Be Displayed In The Pattern Shown On The Grid On The Front Page
  • Winner: Katy (5 points)
  • Jo (4 points)^note Jo only drew the Taskmaster on one sheet, which was deemed valid as the rules did not specify that the Taskmaster's face had to be on all 16 sheets
  • Ed and Rose (3 points)
  • David (1 point)

• Task 3: Team Task - Complete The Choose-Your-Own-Task-Adventure. Unless Otherwise Stated You Must Stick Together And Only Open One Task After Completing The Previous One. Fastest Wins ^note The task ended once one of the team said the word "demeaning"; the final task in the chain directly prompted this, but several tasks indirectly prompted it and anyone could have used the word without being prompted
  • Winner: Ed, Katy and Rose - 29 minutes, 24 passes, and 665 metres walked (5 points)
  • David and Jo - 36 minutes 26 seconds, 9 passes, 131 metres walked (3 points)

• Live Task: Part 1 - Make A Lovely Little Ball Arrangement. Part 2 - While Blindfolded, Flatten All Of The Yellow Balls, Throw The Red Balls Into The Bucket, And Turn All The Blue Balls Into One Big Blue Ball. Most Balls In The Right Shape / Place Wins
  • Winner: Jo (5 points)
  • Ed and Katy (4 points)
  • Rose (2 points)
  • David (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Ed Gamble (19 points)
  2. Katy Wix (18 points)
  3. Rose Matafeo and Jo Brand (15 points)
  4. David Baddiel (10 points)

Episode 3 - "Five Miles Per Day"

• Prize Task: Weirdest Wooden Thing
  • Winner: David - a tree branch his brother found in the garden, polished and received a grade for as a wood-working project at school (5 points)
  • Katy - a wooden phallus carving given to her by the father of a friend, who imports them (4 points)
  • Ed - a Tschäggättä demon mask^note from the Lötschental valley with real human hair and teeth, a souvenir from his father after a trip to Switzerland (3 points)
  • Rose - a wooden carving of a man Rose presumes to be a prospector (2 points)
  • Jo - a wooden litter-picker built by her daughter when she was at school (1 point)

• Task 1: Enter The Caravan Within The Next Three Minutes^note contestants were given this part of the task in the lab, and the rest in the caravan. In The Caravan, List All The Items^note except for the original task itself, the items were all themed around Cluedo: a bottle of mustard, a plum, peacock feathers, a water-pistol, a rope, a smoking pipe, a penknife, an egg, and a salt shaker. For added annoyance value, the items were all printed in small letters on the back of the second task Which Were Hanging From The Wooden Board In The Lab, Say The Colour Of The Board In The Lab, And Repeat What The Taskmaster's Assistant Said To You In The Lab^note Again, the spiel of the Taskmaster's Assistant contained several cryptic references to Cluedo. It was, in full; "Hello. Welcome to the Manor. Don't sit down. Please do a little walk to the spot. I like your little walk. Whoops! You're looking really nice. Balls and books and snooker and the doctor. Shhhh. Are you ready? You look ready. I'm ready. There's your task. You should open it as soon as I leave the room.". Most Correct Answers Wins
  • Winner: Katy (5 points)
  • David (4 points)
  • Ed (3 points)
  • Rose (2 points)
  • Jo (1 point)

• Task 2a: Using The Materials Provided, Build The Most Robust Statue Of The Most Delicate Thing And Place It On The Red Cross. The Delicate Thing Must Be Recognisable, Must Remain Standing After An Hour And Should Leave You Feeling Enormously Proud Of Your Creation. Most Robust Statue (After Task 2b) Wins
  • Winner: Katy - a cross-section of a leaf (5 points)
  • Rose - a "leaf", allegedly (4 points)^note Rose was the only one not to damage her statue
  • Jo - herself, with a sign reading "I Love Poetry" (3 points)^note Although she squashed her statue, she received one more point than David and Ed because a single strand of hair survived the crush
  • David and Ed (2 points)
    • David - a representation of his ego as a fifteen-year-old while trying to work up the courage to ask out a young woman called Avril Cowan
    • Ed - a baby

• Task 2b: Score A Goal Using A Motorised Roller, With Your Statue As The Goalie. Quickest Goal Wins
  • Winner: Rose (5 points)
  • Jo (4 points)
  • Ed (3 points)
  • Katy (2 points)
  • David (1 point)

• Task 3: Break Something Into The Most Parts And Completely Fix It
  • Winner: Jo - a bar of chocolate (5 points)
  • Rose - a piece of string (4 points)
  • Katy - a slice of bread (3 points)
  • David - a Broadcast Award won by the Taskmaster's Assistant (2 points)^note beyond some minor denting, failed to break it
  • Ed - a bunch of grapes and a bar of chocolate (1 point)^note failed to reassemble his items - he didn't realise until too late that the superglue tube wasn't even open

• Live Task: Wearing Your Blindfold Correctly At All Times, Fill A Pint Glass With Water Using The Jars Of Liquid Attached To Your Boiler Suit^note The various jars contained water, vinegar, sand, egg, and cotton balls. If You Make A Big Mess You Are Disqualified. Closest To A Pint Of Water Wins
  • Winner: Ed (5 points)
  • Katy (4 points)^note Although technically less liquid overall than David and Rose, her glass contained only pure water
  • David and Rose (3 points)
  • Jo (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Katy Wix (23 points)
  2. Rose Matafeo (20 points)
  3. David Baddiel and Ed Gamble (17 points)
  4. Jo Brand (15 points)

Episode 4 - "Quisps"

• Prize Task: Best Thing To Celebrate With On A Stage
  • Winner: Ed - his homemade "confetti cannon party pants" (5 points)
  • Jo - a life-size cardboard cutout of stand-up comedian Andy Robinson (4 points)
  • David - a motorised scooter with a silhouette of a London Bus attached to it and a trophy with the Taskmaster's face attached (3 points)
  • Katy and Rose (2 points)
    • Katy - a candy-floss machine
    • Rose - the accoutrement needed for a ribbon-cutting ceremony^note ribbons, oversized scissors and stanchions

• Task 1: Make The Most Striking Water Feature
  • Winner: Ed - a beautiful merman (played by the Taskmaster's assistant) with one boob shooting a jet of water (5 points)
  • David - a "Greek god" statue featuring the Taskmaster's assistant shirtless as the statue (4 points)
  • Rose - a Welly boot with flowers that was also a metaphor for how humanity has ruined the environment (3 points)
  • Jo - water trickling down stacked plates... which fall and break at the end (2 points)
  • Katy - a squirting piggy bank (1 point)

• Task 2: Team Task - Bring A Classic Board Game To Life. Best Real-Life Board Game Wins
  • Winner: Both Teams (3 points)
    • Ed, Katy and Rose - Buckaroo
    • David and Jo - Operation

This marks the first time a team task has resulted in both teams getting equal points.

• Task 3: Say A Letter Of The Alphabet Then Put The Most Things Beginning With The Letter You Just Said On The Tray The Taskmaster's Assistant Is Wearing. Neither The Tray Nor The Taskmaster's Assistant May Leave The Room, And The Tray Cannot Be Taken From The Taskmaster's Assistant. Most Correct Objects On The Tray After Five Minutes Wins
  • Winner: Rose - "P" (5 points)
  • Katy - "B" (4 points)
  • Jo - "B" (3 points)
  • Ed - "D"^note His first response was to literally state "A letter of the alphabet." This resulted in a second task being given to him which read "Ha ha ha. You must now pick a letter of the alphabet and say that letter out loud." He was apparently the only contestant the Taskmaster's Assistant felt the need to make this particular contingency for. (2 points)
  • David - "Q"^note None of the items David selected began with "Q", despite his claims of a speech impediment requiring him to pronounce words with "Q", but the Taskmaster was willing to give him a point for "Qoffee". Ironically, food items genuinely beginning with "Q" had been deliberately placed in the fridge, along with sixty packets of Quavers (a brand of cheese-flavoured crisps), precisely in case anyone selected "Q"... and he completely failed to find any of them (1 point)

• Live Task: ''Throw Your Things Far, But Not Too Far.^note Contestants are given an array of objects, including a swimming noodle, a rubber egg, a birthday card and a grain of rice. They take it in turns to pick an object and throw it, and all objects must end up in the "safe zone" between the starting line and the end of the runway. An object thrown outside of the safe zone results in disqualification, and if all objects end up in the safe zone then the contestant who threw their object the shortest distance is disqualified. Last man standing wins.
  • Winner: Rose (5 points)
  • Jo (4 points)
  • David, Ed and Katy (1 point)^note All were disqualified in the first round.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Rose Matafeo (18 points)
  2. Ed Gamble and Jo Brand (16 points)
  3. David Baddiel (12 points)
  4. Katy Wix (11 points)

Episode 5 - "Another Spoon"

• Prize Task: Best Defunct Item
  • Winner: David - a photograph of himself and his now-deceased cat Monkey, along with the cat's cremated ashes (5 points)
  • Katy - a £5 voucher for Woolworths^note all UK branches of Woolworths department stores were closed in 2008-2009 when the company went into administration (4 points)
  • Jo - a nutcracker fashioned after former UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher (3 points)
  • Ed - a detailed guide to the Millennium Dome^note the building has been redeveloped and is now known as the O2. Although not stated onscreen, Ed's original choice had been LaserDiscs of Kevin Spacey movies, but the producers requested he change it in case anyone took offence (2 points)
  • Rose - a sharps bin filled with used syringes belonging to her flatmate (1 point)

• Task 1: Lasso The Taskmaster's Assistant. You Must Stand Behind The Line At All Times. Fastest Wins^note This was meant to be a tie breaker, but was shown as a regular task because David Baddiel's attempt went so off the rails that the producers wanted to make sure it would be seen
  • Winner: Jo (5 points)
  • Rose (4 points)
  • Katy (3 points)
  • Ed (2 points)
  • David (1 point)

• Task 2: Make The Most Accurate And Inventive Egg-Timer. The Taskmaster's Assistant Will Then Boil An Egg For The Taskmaster As Long As Your Egg-Timer Lasts^note The Taskmaster likes his eggs "runny but not too runny" — that is, the timer should last for about six-seven minutes. You May Not Use Any Pre-Existing Timing Devices
  • Winner: Jo - a Jo Brand singing egg-timer service^note Instructions: 1 - place an egg in cold water and begin to boil. 2 - just before egg reaches boiling point, call Jo Brand's phone number. 3 - listen to Jo Brand sing "Jerusalem", followed by a brief screeching. 4 - remove egg from boiling water and serve. Time - approx. six minutes (5 points)
  • Rose - a birthday cake timer^note Instructions: 1 - bring a pot of water to boil, then reduce to simmer. 2 - place the egg inside the pot. 3 - light the five candles on the birthday cake. 4 - when most of the candles burn out to be flush with the cake top, remove the egg and briefly place it in a bowl of ice water. 6 - serve. Time - approx. six minutes (4 points)
  • Katy - a Chinese water-torture device wherein a bag filled with water would slowly drip onto the head of the Taskmaster's Assistant. Time unknown, but the egg had "some give, but was mainly hard" (3 points)
  • David - a rudimentary hourglass. Time - 18 min 4 sec^note the amount of time required to cook a lobster (2 points)
  • Ed - 4 rows of exactly 360 snacks, including Maltesers, crisps, raisins and grapes, with strict instructions that the Taskmaster's Assistant was to eat one per second until finished. For added amusement, the Taskmaster's Assistant was dressed in an egg costume. Time: 18 min 32 sec^note due to the limitations of the human body, the Taskmaster's Assistant was only able to consume an item every four seconds (1 point)

• Task 3: Team Task — Get To Know This Person^note Gareth Simon Kalyan, a magician, Sorting The Truth From Lies And Exaggerations^note Gareth was instructed to alternately tell the truth, lie, and brag — but not necessarily starting with the truth. You Will Be Tested On Your Knowledge Of Him; Teams May Confer But Only The First Answer Will Be Accepted. Bonus Points For The Contestant Who Can Best Recreate The Contestant's Party Trick^note The person can make his tongue look extremely large
  • Winner: Ed, Katy and Rose (4 points)
  • David and Jo (2 points)
  • Bonus Point: Jo (+1)

• Live Task: Looking At Your Mirror, Remaining On Your Spot And Facing Forward At All Times, Build The Highest Tower Of Bricks Behind You. You May Only Use the Litter-Picker You Have Been Provided With
  • Winner: Ed and Rose (5 points)
  • Jo (3 points)
  • David and Kerry Godliman^note standing in for Katy Wix (2 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Jo Brand (19 points)
  2. Rose Matafeo (18 points)
  3. Katy Wix (16 points)
  4. Ed Gamble (14 points)
  5. David Baddiel (12 points)

Episode 6 - "Bready, Bready, Bready"

• Prize Task: Thing You'd Be Most Pleased About If You Found It In A Field
  • Winner: Ed - a "dead body" mannequin containing chocolate mini-eggs (5 points)
  • Jo - a shopping trolley-bag with a built-in seat (4 points)
  • David - a signpost with an arrow indicating the way out of the field (3 points)
  • Rose - a cryptex (2 points)
  • Katy - a picture of the bars representing a mobile phone signal (1 point)

• Task 1: Make Part Of Your Body Look Abnormally Long. Most Realistic And Abnormally Extended Body Part Wins
  • Winner: Jo - her eyebrow (5 points)
  • Rose - her legs (4 points)
  • Ed and Katy (3 points)
    • Ed - his left leg
    • Katy - her tongue
  • David - his forehead (1 point)

• Task 2: Push The Melon Up The Slide Into The Caravan With These Breadsticks. Only Breadsticks May Touch The Melon At Any Time. Bonus Point For Who Uses The Least Amount Of Breadsticks In The Attempt
  • Winner: Ed (5 points)
  • Everyone Else (Disqualified)^note David failed to get the melon into the caravan; Rose touched the melon with her hands when returning if from the ground to the slide; Jo and Katy taped or glued breadsticks to gloves, which Greg adjudged had touched the melon.
  • Katy (+1 bonus point)^note used the fewest breadsticks of any attempt, including Ed's

• Task 3: Serenade Yourself. Most Sensational Self-Serenade Wins
  • Winner: Ed, Jo and Rose (5 points)
  • Katy (3 points)
  • David (2 points)^note according to the Taskmaster, 1.5 of these points was based on pity.

• Live Task: Slide A Drink^note The drinks were, in the order of each round, half a pint of "vodka" (in a half pint glass), a pint of "gin" (in a pint glass), a shot of "sambuca" (in a shot glass), and a glass of "white wine" (in a wine glass). While these were the names given to the drinks in the task itself, the actual contents were apparently just water. To The Taskmaster. The Worst Slider Each Round Leaves The Bar. Last Remaining Wins
  • Winner: Katherine Ryan^note standing in for Katy Wix (5 points)
  • David (4 points)
  • Rose (3 points)
  • Jo (2 points)
  • Ed (1 point)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Ed Gamble (19 points)
  2. Jo Brand (16 points)
  3. Rose Matafeo (14 points)
  4. Katy Wix (13 points)
  5. David Baddiel (10 points)

Episode 7 - "A Cuddle"

• Prize Task: Best Thing Taken From Someone Else's House
  • Winner: David - a sheet of toilet roll from Buckingham Palace (5 points)
  • Katy - the Taskmaster Trophy won by Kerry Godliman in Series 7, taken from her (rather dingy) garage (4 points)
  • Ed - various ornaments^note a deer head, a statue of a bird on a tree, and a gold star plaque from the Hammersmith Apollo belonging to the Taskmaster, taken from his house while he was in a hot-tub (3 points)
  • Rose - a pink cowboy hat taken from the Taskmaster House, with a photo of herself wearing the hat attached (2 points)
  • Jo - a ceramic phrenology tattoo head given to her by her friend Betty, which she initially tried to claim had been stolen from Sigmund Freud's house (1 point)

• Task 1: Get An Entire Egg Into One Of The "Metal Things"^note large pipes welded to various metal stands/boxes. Highest Single Score Wins^note each "metal thing" was assigned a score, with the furthest away and hardest to reach being scored the most. Getting An Entire Egg Into A Metal Thing Without Breaking It Doubles The Score
  • Winner: Katy (5 points)^note Did not break her egg, so her single score was doubled.
  • Ed (4 points)
  • David (3 points)^note "Released" his egg by breaking an egg while seated on the chair and then emptying the contents into one of the metal things - his interpretation of "release" was deemed valid
  • Jo (2 points)
  • Rose (1 point)^note Rose placed 9 of her unbroken eggs into the one metal thing that was within arm's reach, which was marked with a "-5," which was doubled to -10.

• Task 2: Forge The Best Mount Rushmore
  • Joint Winners: David and Katy (5 points)
  • Ed and Rose (4 points)
  • Jo (3 points)

• Task 3: Join Your Hands Together Palm-To-Palm And Keep Them Joined Throughout The Entire Task. Then Put The Most Gold Rings On This Drumstick In Five Minutes^note there were a maximum of five hidden in the room, including one the Taskmaster's Assistant had surreptitiously attached to each contestant's back before the task started. The other gold rings were found taped underneath the table, as a Hula Hoop (a ring-like brand of potato/corn crisp) in a Ziploc bag, on the Assistant's finger, and in a matchbox in a bowl of clingfilmed baked beans
  • Winner: Ed and Katy (5 points)
  • Jo and Rose (3 points)
  • David (1 point)

• Live Task: Read The Taskmaster's Mind. Identify Whether He Is Holding A "Horse" Card Or A "Laminator" Card. You Will Receive 1 Point For Every Correct Guess
  • Winner: Jo (13 points)
  • Katy (5 points)
  • Ed and Rose (1 point)
  • David (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Katy Wix (24 points)
  2. Jo Brand (22 points)
  3. Ed Gamble (17 points)
  4. David Baddiel (14 points)
  5. Rose Matafeo (11 points)

Episode 8 - "Shaqinahat"

• Prize Task: Best Thing From A Shed
  • Winner: Jo - a sculpture of her own head made by her father, an amateur artist (5 points)
  • Ed - a sexually explicit garden gnome he bought for his mother, who insists on keeping it in the shed (4 points)
  • Rose - a poster of New Zealand fish species (3 points)
  • David - a diver's suit, so as to avoid spider webs (2 points)
  • Katy - a stepladder and tool set from a doll's house (1 points)

• Task 1: Throw Something Into A Pedal Bin From The Furthest Distance. The Pedal Bin Must Be Shut When You Throw Your Chosen Object
  • Winner: Ed (5 points)^note kept the bin "shut" by turning it upside down and kicking the bottom out
  • Jo (4 points)^note used a crew member to open the bin upon instruction
  • Katy (3 points)
  • Rose (2 points)^note although Rose was said to have been awarded 3 points and Katy 2, the episode and series scoreboards show the opposite situation for some reason
  • David (1 point)^note a "pity point" awarded despite the fact that David failed to complete the task by throwing the object in from a distance

• Task 2: Write The Best Lyrics To The Taskmaster Theme Tune And Perform Them In The Most Memorable Way
  • Winner: Rose (5 points)
  • Ed (4 points)
  • Katy (3 points)
  • David (2 points)
  • Jo (1 point)^note insulted the Taskmaster in her lyrics

• Task 3: Team Task - Supply The Best Soundtrack For This Silent Film
  • Winner: Ed, Katy and Rose (3 points)
  • David and Jo (2 points)

• Live Task: Without Adjusting Your Welder's Mask At Any Point, Draw Your Own Face On The Front In Three Minutes. Your Drawn Face Should Be The Same Size As Your Natural Face And Should Either Be Very Angry Or Very Happy. Most Accurate Face Wins
  • Winner: Katy (5 points)
  • Ed and Rose (4 points)
  • David and Jo (3 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Ed Gamble (20 points)
  2. Rose Matafeo (17 points)
  3. Jo Brand and Katy Wix (15 points)
  4. David Baddiel (10 points)

Episode 9 - "Don't Like Them Go Bang"

• Prize Task: Most Desirable Smooth Thing
  • Winner: David - a trophy he apparently won for competing on the 1980s quiz show Going for Gold... of which there exists no record of him participating in, nor is the trophy one ever given out by the show (5 points)
  • Everyone Else (4 points)^note The Taskmaster was especially pleased with the prize offerings and found it difficult to rank any prize lower than 2nd place.
    • Ed - a voucher permitting the winner of the show to wax his chest during the credits
    • Jo - a bowl of butterscotch Angel Delight concealing an Action Man doll's (lack of) genitalia
    • Katy - a beautifully smooth pebble... with her banking details etched onto it
    • Rose - a semi-nude photograph of herself inside a snowglobe

• Task 1: Give The Taskmaster's Assistant A Five-Word Instruction In The Most Spy-Like Way. You Must Not Be Seen Or Heard Communicating With The Taskmaster's Assistant In Any Way. Most Subtly But Successfully Communicated Instruction Wins
  • Winner: David - instruction: Take Down Your Trousers Now. Delivery method: Disguised himself as a plumber and drove the surveillance van up to the Taskmaster's Assistant before getting out, walking over to him and, in character, asking him to help unload the van, which had the instructions written on the back (5 points)
  • Jo - instruction: Get Me Loads Of Sweets. Delivery method: Distracted the Taskmaster's Assistant by throwing some objects around in front of him, before covertly dropping a coffee cup with the instructions inside on the bench beside him (4 points)
  • Katy - instruction: Alex Take Off Your Shoes. Delivery method: ostentatiously sat down beside the Taskmaster's Assistant with a newspaper before opening it up to the middle; the instructions were written inside (3 points)
  • Ed and Rose (2 points)
    • Ed - instruction: Stand Up And Shout Loud.^note The Taskmaster's Assistant did this by standing up and (loudly) shouting the word "LOUD!". Delivery method: arranged for the Taskmaster's Assistant to be distracted by a crewmember dressed ostentatiously in overalls... but noisily ran over the field before the crewmember arrived and dropped the instructions on the bench beside him
    • Rose - instructions: Life In Danger Run Away. Delivery method: disguised herself as a large boulder and walked (upright) to the Taskmaster's Assistant

• Task 2: Inflate, Tie And Pop As Many Balloons As Possible In Ten Minutes. After Popping The First Balloon, No More Balloons May Be Inflated, And If Any Balloons Remain Inflated After Ten Minutes You Are Disqualified. You May Not Look At A Clock Or Any Timing Device At Any Point. Most Balloons Popped Wins
  • Winner: Ed (5 points)
  • Rose (4 points)
  • David (3 points)
  • Jo and Katy (Disqualified)^note Jo failed to pop all her balloons; Katy failed to pop any balloons within ten minutes

• Task 3: Make Either A Knee/Elbow, An Elbow/Elbow Or A Knee/Knee Look Like A Famous Couple, Using Only Your Knees/Elbows
  • Winner: Katy - Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, using her elbows (5 points)
  • David and Ed (3 points)
    • David - the Two Ronnies^note or, in pun-terms, the Two Ron-Knees on his knees... with his trousers down and his pants visible.
    • Ed - Phil and Grant Mitchell from Eastenders on his knees... after a fight^note with realistic "injuries" provided courtesy of his own blood, gained after shaving his legs
  • Rose - Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor on her knees (2 points)
  • Jo - Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn^note or, in pun-terms, Hen-Knee VIII and El-bow-lyn on an elbow and a knee (1 point)

• Live Task: Team Task - Standing In A Queue, Draw The Most Accurate Pictures^note a horse, a church, and three aubergines On The Back Of The Team Member In Front Of You Based On The Image The Taskmaster's Assistant Shows The Team Member At The Back. No Team Member May Communicate With Another. Most Accurate Three Pictures Wins
  • Winner: Jo, Katy and Rose (5 points)^note this team's horse and three aubergines were judged to be the best
  • David and Ed (3 points)^note this team's church was judged to be the best
    
    This is the third live team task. It is also the first team task wherein the contestants are arranged into different teams.

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: David Baddiel (19 points)
  2. Ed Gamble, Katy Wix and Rose Matafeo (17 points)
  3. Jo Brand (14 points)

Episode 10 - "Think About the Spirit"

• Prize Task: Best Very Long And Thin Thing
  • Winner: Katy - a copy of War and Peace printed out and bound together concertina style^note the entire thing is 1215 pages and, if held open by one page, would stretch 136m; for comparison sake, this is just under half the height of the Shard in London (5 points)
  • Jo - a cardigan knitted from a long piece of wool that she made as a university student while depressed (4 points)
  • David - the "longest ever"^note while the record is technically unverified the string is 17.64m, the longest length that a string walkie-talkie can be before it ceases to work string walkie-talkie, which he made as a child in case he needed to hide from a Nazi invasion (3 points)
  • Ed - a single strand of spaghetti that could constitute an entire serving^note the strand measured at about 9m long (2 points)
  • Rose - a lasso made out of strawberry laces (1 point)

• Task 1: Do The Most Preposterous Thing With This Chickpea
  • Winner: Rose - held a funeral for the chickpea, named "Chick Pataki" (5 points)
  • Ed - entered a relationship with the chickpea, only for it to be involved in a car accident; he then had sex with the mashed-up chickpea^note while Ed insisted that this was supposed to be after the chickpea had been "nursed back to health", the necrophiliac connotations of the act were loudly noted (4 points)
  • Katy - turned the chickpea into fingernail accessories (3 points)
  • David - formed a (rather bored and unenthusiastic) religious cult around the chickpea, leading to a "nativity" involving a walk to a nearby corner shop and a tin of chickpeas (2 points)
  • Jo - turned the chickpea into a false tooth (1 point)

• Task 2: Team Task - Make The Best Cup Of Tea In This Teacup. You Must Use All The Equipment Provided On The Table^note all of which had been locked, chained or bolted to the table And Nothing From The Kitchen. You Must Wear Washing Up Gloves Throughout The Task. Best Cup Of Tea Wins
  • Winner: David and Jo (5 points)^note Despite Jo disappearing for half the task to use the toilet
  • Ed, Katy and Rose (1 point)^note The Taskmaster decided to severely punish the team of three for making a cup of tea with Ed's spittle when he sucked up some milk and spit it into the drinking mug

• Task 3: Complete The Seven Tasks^note In the recommended order by the Taskmaster's Assistant, arranged clockwise from the task closest to the door: 1 - Complete the jigsaw in the urn. 2 - Hide all the jigsaw pieces around the garden. 3 - Put this wheelbarrow into the caravan. It must remain in the caravan throughout all tasks. 4 - Put twenty things, all bigger than a tennis ball, into the wheelbarrow. 5 - Roll the bowling ball from behind the rope at the top of the drive so that it knocks over at least one of the skittles. 6 - Build a tower of bricks on the red circle. The tower must be at least 26 inches high and must remain standing throughout all the tasks. 7 - Place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there until you have completed all tasks. . When You Touch A Task In Any Way, You Must Complete It Before Looking Inside Another Task. All Tasks Must Be Completed. If You Make A Mistake You Must Start Again. Fastest Wins
  • Winner: Ed - initial order of completion: 4, 5, 1, 7, 2, 6, 3 (5 points)^note Ed was the only contestant to successfully complete all seven tasks, even though this required him to restart from the beginning at one point. The order in which he completed his second attempt was not specified.
  • Everyone Else (Disqualified)^note everyone failed to complete at least one task without starting over; however, in the interests of completion, the order in which they attempted the tasks has been noted, along with the task they failed to complete
    • Rose - order of attempt: 3, 5, 7, 1, 2, 4, 6^note Failed to complete task 6; left before learning that her tower was not 26 inches. Ironically, of the remaining contestants, Rose came closest to completing all seven tasks, had the easiest time doing so, and would actually have won had she done so,
    • David - order of attempt: 2, 3, 6, 4, 1, 7, 5^note Failed to complete task 7; kept taking his hand off his hip throughout his final task
    • Katy - order of attempt: 2, 1, 3, 7, 6, 5, 4^note Failed to complete task 4; not having placed enough items in the wheelbarrow larger than a tennis ball
    • Jo - order of attempt: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 7, 6^note Failed to complete task 4; having placed twenty items into the wheelbarrow before moving it into the caravan, she took some items out before fitting the wheelbarrow in the caravan and never put them back in

• Live Task: Pull The Short Breadstick^note taking it in turns, each contestant pulls a breadstick out of the apron of the contestant next to them. Before each pull, the contestant holding the breadsticks points to a breadstick, winks, and says "This is the short breadstick." If the short breadstick is retrieved, the contestant holding the breadsticks is eliminated. Winner takes all.
  • Winner: Rose (5 points)
  • Everyone Else (0 points)
    • Jo, David, Katy, Ed (in reverse order of elimination)

• Tiebreaker: Make A Pop-Up Toy Pause The Longest Before Popping Up Using One Of The Provided Food Spreads
  • Winner: Ed (1 point)
  • Rose (0 points)

• Episode Ranking:
  1. Winner: Ed Gamble (12 points +1 tiebreaker)^note Tiebreakers are not technically worth points and so do not count towards the overall episode and season tally; it is included here simply for the purposes of clarifying the winner
  2. Rose Matafeo (12 points)
  3. David Baddiel and Jo Brand (10 points)
  4. Katy Wix (9 points)

This episode marks the conclusion of the show's original run on Dave. It also sees the second time that a series champion has also won the final episode of the series, the first time that a series final has required a tiebreaker to identify the winner, and the first time that a series final is the only episode in a series to require a tiebreaker.

Episode Tally

• Ed Gamble = 4 episodes (Episodes 2, 6, 8 and 10)
• Katy Wix and Rose Matafeo = 2 episodes
  • Katy Wix (Episodes 3 and 7)
  • Rose Matafeo (Episodes 1 and 4)
• Jo Brand and David Baddiel = 1 episode
  • Jo Brand (Episode 5)
  • David Baddiel (Episode 9)

This series marks the second time that the series champion has also won the most episodes. As of Series 10 (2020), Ed Gamble has won the second-most episodes of Taskmaster.

Task Tally

A breakdown of the tasks as won by the contestants is as follows:

• Ed Gamble: 19 tasks (2 prize tasks, 10 video tasks, 4 team tasks, 2 live tasks, 1 tie-breaker)
• Katy Wix and Rose Matafeo: 16 tasks
  • Katy: 2 prize tasks, 7 video tasks, 4 team tasks, 3 live tasks)
  • Rose: 1 prize task, 7 video tasks, 4 team tasks, 4 live tasks
• Jo Brand: 11 tasks (1 prize task, 5 video tasks, 2 team tasks, 3 live tasks)
• David Baddiel: 9 tasks (4 prize tasks, 2 video tasks, 2 team tasks, 1 live task)

Episode Titles

Each episode is a Title Drop made by either a participant in the show, the Taskmaster, or the Taskmaster's Assistant. In this series, the titles were provided by:

• Episode 1: Katy Wix (a repeated refrain of her "cult" during her attempt at the "make the most dramatic entrance in one hour" task.)
• Episode 2: David Baddiel (when discussing his and Jo Brand's leisurely attempt at completing the "choose your own task adventure" task, including stopping at one point to make a sandwich: "I softened the butter in the microwave, yes.")
• Episode 3: The Taskmaster's Assistant (discussing David Baddiel's speed on a motorised roller during the "score a goal using this roller with a statue you have made as goalie" task: "David was the slowest, he took fifteen minutes and twenty seconds. He was travelling at five miles per day.")
• Episode 4: Ed Gamble (discussing David Baddiel's 'Q'-themed attempt at completing the "collect the most items beginning with your chosen letter" task by pretending random objects began with the letter, on learning that food items beginning with 'Q' had been deliberately purchased in case someone chose it: "Yeah, but he would have gone: [mimes placing a bag on the tray] 'Quisps'!")
• Episode 5: The Taskmaster (discussing David Baddiel's inexplicable decision to keep adding wooden spoons to his lasso in the "lasso the Taskmaster's Assistant" task: "Just to get inside David's mind when he goes... 'I'm gonna put another spoon on it.'")
• Episode 6: Jo Brand (when the Taskmaster challenged her regarding her attempt at the "push the melon up the slide with only breadsticks", arguing that glue and rubber gloves touched the melon as well: "There was glue underneath and breadsticks on top, and then it was just literally [mimes pushing] bready bready bready..."
• Episode 7: The Taskmaster's Assistant (introducing the contestants to the "put the most rings on this drumstick while keeping your hands together" task: "We're going to start this one with a cuddle, if you don't mind.")
• Episode 8: The Taskmaster's Assistant (while describing Rose Matafeo's attempt at the "throw something into a pedal bin from the furthest distance while the lid is initially closed" task: "Rose, Shaqinahat — two metres forty-five... Shaquille O'Neal wearing a hat, two metres forty five.")
• Episode 9: The Taskmaster (paraphrasing David Baddiel's expressed dislike of inflating balloons in the "pop the most balloons" task: "I would also like to enjoy David's statement: 'Don't like them go bang.'")
• Episode 10: The Taskmaster (when winding up Ed Gamble's outrage over the possibility of people getting rewarded for not fully completing "complete all seven tasks" despite the rules requiring this and his laborious efforts to do so: "We've got to think about the spirit here...")

Series Ranking

1. Winner: Ed Gamble (167 points)
2. Rose Matafeo (159 points)
3. Katy Wix (158 points)
4. Jo Brand (154 points)
5. David Baddiel (128 points)

Owing to her illness-related absence, Katy Wix is the first and to date only main-series contestant to have had points won on her behalf by other people^note 5 points by Katherine Ryan and 2 points by Kerry Godliman. Without these she would have only won 151 points and thus would have come fourth (though it is likely that, assuming no disqualification, she would have won some points had she been present; assuming at least 1 point in each task she missed, this could have positioned her somewhere between 153 points minimum [fourth] to 161 points maximum [second]). For what it's worth, this also means that technically speaking Katherine Ryan has now won 99 points on the show and Kerry Godliman has won 178, though as both women are previous series champions this merely strengthens their overall win. Jonny Peacock was similarly represented by Alan Davies during the 2022 New Year's Treat.