"Smoked" is an episode of JAG that first aired on March 20, 1996. Directed by Jim Johnston. Written by Donald P. Bellisario.
Admiral Chegwidden (John M. Jackson) sends Krennick, Rabb and Austin to Cuba, to negotiate for the return of a downed F-14 before the Iranians can download the avionics software. The Cubans are hoping to get Iranian oil. And of course the Americans don't want the Iranians to get that software.
They travel to Cuba in a Lear jet with David Bair (Steven Anderson) from the State Department. But the Cubans deny the Lear permission to land. Rabb tells air traffic control that Bair is having a health emergency. Cuban Navy Captain Fuente (Bernard White) was ready to shoot down the Lear.
Once they've landed, Rabb learns that the F-14 was piloted by Rabb's old buddy Lt. Commander Keeter (Michael McGrady). But Keeter's story of how he wound up landing in Cuba doesn't quite add up.
Taking advantage of a distraction, Rabb sabotages the F-14 so that it will blow up once the engine gets going again. Fuente is furious that Rabb has left the house. Rabb claims he wasn't in his room because he was in Austin's room, presumably having sex with her. Austin doesn't deny it, and Krennick is annoyed, because she's sexually interested in Rabb.
Back in a room, Rabb turns on a shower and explains that he's sabotaged the F-14 so that it'll blow up soon after it's started up again. Bair is furious because the avionics software contains a virus that he wanted the Iranians to get.
So Rabb confesses everything to Fuente, knowing that the Cuban aviator will be very suspicious of the whole story. Nevertheless, Rabb convinces Fuente that there's no downside for Cuba if Iran gets faulty software. But Fuente will give chase after Rabb undoes the sabotage.
As agreed, Fuente creates a distraction so Rabb can undo the sabotage. With that taken care of, Rabb gets in the Lear, with Keeter already aboard. Fuente goes up after them, but Rabb faked him out by flying south to the Cayman Islands instead of north to Florida.
Even so, Fuente's able to turn around very quickly and fire a missile at the Lear. Rabb and Keeter can't shake off the inbound projectile, so they almost dive into the ocean and pull up once the missile can't pull up to match.
Next we see Rabb comfortable in his apartment, very happily cooking something. Krennick shows up presumptuously to Rabb's apartment for the express purpose of having sex with him. But she's turned off when she sees another woman in his shower, and leaves abruptly. The woman is supposedly the same woman Rabb and Keeter had talked about earlier, the one whose name Keeter could not remember.
Tropes
- Fuente, Rabb and Keeter are all Ace Pilots.
- Continuity Nod to the previous episode: Chegwidden asks Krennick if she's angry that Rabb beat her "in Naples," referring to Boone's court-martial for an action over the Bosnian no-fly zone.
- Early-Installment Weirdness
- Even for an episode titled "Smoked," there's way too much smoking. Season 1 in general had a lot of cigar smoking. By Season 5, cigars occurred very rarely on the show.
- When Krennick goes to Rabb's apartment to tell him about Chegwidden, it's not clear if we hear Ludwig van Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 in C minor because he has chosen to play it on his stereo or simply because that's the episode's soundtrack. There's classical music in later JAG episodes, but never a selection as easily recognizable as the Beethoven selection in this episode.
- Rabb's night blindness prevents him from landing on an aircraft carrier at night, but it doesn't seem to prevent him from any other kind of nocturnal flying.
- Rabb's occasional no-strings-attached lover is known to the viewers only by her ridiculously long name. Actually not that long, but Rabb does relish elongating her name. She's not an imaginary girlfriend, and a man like Rabb wouldn't need to invent a girlfriend. Both Keeter and Krennick have seen Maria Elena. But we never do, not in this episode nor any other.
- Genre Savvy: Just like in "Scimitar", Rabb turns on the shower so he can have a conversation with his colleagues without anyone else listening in through listening devices.
- Overly Long Name: Maria Elena Carmelita Moreno Gutierrez. Just in case anyone thought that Carmelita was Rabb's imaginary girlfriend, Krennick sees her in the shower in Rabb's apartment (but we don't see her). Rabb begins to say her full ridiculously long name but can't complete it before Krennick slams the door.
- Shout-Outs to Top Gun and A Few Good Men. Reviewing Rabb's military record, Chegwidden comments that it "reads like a cross between" those two military-themed movies.
- Theme Music Power-Up: Once Rabb and Keeter in the Lear jet lose the missile Fuente fired at them.
- Unresolved Sexual Tension: Krennick tells Rabb, in his apartment, that she wants to sleep with him. Rabb can't bring himself to give her a "yellow light" or a "red light," but he doesn't give her a "green light" either.
