Quotes / Vulgar Humor

"You can certainly get a cat out a tree by raping people under it until emergency vehicles scare it away, but it is my belief that the American people will regret not finding a better solution."

— Bat-Obama, "The Torture Debate (As a Batman Comic)"

"I do have a cause though. It is obscenity. I'm for it."

— Tom Lehrer, introduction to the song "Smut", That Was the Year That Was

851. When plumbing the depths of depravity, I must remember to come up for air.

— Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG

"Any genuinely cutting-edge comedy will risk offending people who watch it; but how is a penis joke supposed to offend the average college student? The answer is, it's not supposed to offend anybody who watches the show; it's supposed to give college kids a smug sense of superiority in believing that someone else might theoretically be offended by that penis joke."

— Jaime J. Weinman, "Why I Hate Family Guy"

Joseph Smith, fuck frog,
Brigham Young, clit face,
Shit come out da butt,
Jesus says fuck, fuck,
Mormons!

— The Book of Mormon, "Joseph Smith American Moses" (yes, It Makes Sense in Context)

Ken: This morning, and this afternoon, we're doing what I want to do. Got it?
Ray: 'Course. Which I presume will involve culture.
Ken: Oh, we shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
Ray: Somehow, I believe, Ken, the balance shall tip in the favour of culture. Like a big, fat, fucking retarded, fucking black girl on a seesaw... opposite... (Beat) a dwarf.

— In Bruges

My dick looks like the fat that you cut off a steak, smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake
(LONELY ISLAND! GRAMMY NOMINATED, YEA! HIT ‘EM AGAIN!)

— The Lonely Island, "We're Back!"

"Every comedienne has to make at least one joke about her vagina. It's a rule."

— Luan Loud, Peeking Through the Fourth Wall, After Dark: 3

"As a saving grace, this series of vignettes contains gratuitous references to all pleasures of the flesh. You may enjoy it."

— Prologue, The Elder Scrolls In-Universe Books, "Fools' Ebony: Part the Oneth"

"In Conker's Bad Fur Day, you'd go inside a toilet and have a boss fight with a giant poo, and the poo sings an operatic song as it fights you, with profane lyrics that rhyme the word "scat" with the word "twat". This exhibits wit; it's "wit" to rhyme with "shit", but it's wit. The humor lies in a poo (a very unrefined thing) singing opera (a style of music generally considered very refined). In contrast, in Hell Pie, you go into a sewer, and there are poos, and there's no joke there. Some of the poo is alive and hostile and wearing Nazi helmets, but that's not a joke, either; there's no comical throughline from "Nazi" to "poo". If the poos had all resembled former British home secretary Douglas Hurd and had been called "Douglas Turds", that would've been a joke with some wit; as it is, all the game has done is drop some poo on the floor, and then looked at me as if it expected me to know what to do with it."

— Yahtzee Crowshaw on what makes or breaks vulgar humor, Zero Punctuation, "Hell Pie"

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