For the Neon Genesis Evangelion story Nobody Dies.
"God's in his Heaven because He's scared of our superior firepower."
— Yui explaining how NERV gets the job done.
"Am I that transparent?"
"Would 'yes' involve me stationed at NERV-Australia for the rest of my life?"
"Then you are opaque and complex without a single hint of transparency."
Dr. Yui Ikari and Sub Director Sohryu.
"YOU ARE A SHADOW.
A PALE IMITATION.
I AM DONE TAKING YOUR MEASURE.
AND I AM DONE PLAYING."
A PALE IMITATION.
I AM DONE TAKING YOUR MEASURE.
AND I AM DONE PLAYING."
— ADAM, Chapter 17: Fall.
So am I."
So am I."
— Shinji, replying to the above before initiating the formation of a Dirac Sea.
"I demand that Dr. Ikari declare I am her favorite."
Kei, establishing her status of Self-Perceived Unfavorite. Chapter 19.
"WOOOOO! I wanna marry this baby!!!!!!"
Rei, about Unit-05 in Chapter 26. Foreshadowing?
"Soooooooo anyway as it turns out we get internet access and we all started emailing Rei. And we thought, heeeee~ey we all want to meet our big brother but you know what? If it was all six of us, he'd be all 'Oh! Freak out!' and probably run and then he'd get locked in a closet and suffocate and die and then Ichi would be like 'GWAAAAR' eat us and then Mom would be really sad you know?"
—Kiko, being Kiko.
"Ah, young love and first crushes. If only I was sixteen again. And a woman."
—Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki in chapter 8
All they are is Hate. All they have is Hate. All they need is Hate. All they want is butternut fudge ice chocolate pickles. No. Wait. That's what I want.
Iruel, after spending a few weeks touring 4chan with the Ree, Chapter 38.
"I am Asuka Langely Sohryu. I am the Second Child and the pilot of Evangelion 02. And I have been dragging you into Zwei's mainframe the entire time we've been talking. I am everything you see here. Every aspect of the human psyche. Every last person here is part of me. Even alone...We are Legion. Ready? Delete. Bitch."
— Asuka, Chapter 38, showing Iruel, Angel of Terror, the true meaning of Legion.
"I wish to hit him so hard that whoever pulled me out of him will be crowned the next King of England. I will conquer Asia to build an Empire for the manpower that would build the machine I would use to tap that ass. I would initiate a forbidden ritual to ascend to the next step of existence, so I could hit him like the fist of an angry god. [...] I still wish to perform intercourse with him. I wish to tap that ass. I wish to tap it hard."
Canon!Rei on her feelings about canon!Shinji, after her exposure to T!Rei, Chapter 41.
"I asked myself what it would be like if Yui went ahead with that damn experiment. And now I know what the difference is between you and my wife. The difference is, you both looked into the abyss. And when the abyss looked back... You blinked.
Gendo, Chapter 42, to Canon!Yui on the difference between her and ND!Yui.
"Wow," she says, "I never want to have to regenerate an entire limb again."
Rei, after regenerating an entire arm in Chapter 44.
"Rei! Don't antagonize Cthulhu!"
End of EvaShinji, Chapter 45.
"My faith is too strong," Unit 04 says, "Burn the heretic."
-Why Unit 04 will not kneel before
"Oh, f___ me."
"Not until we're married."
Uri and Annette, defining their limits for their relationship, like responsible teenagers should.
"Greetings, people of Earth! We come from a far off universe, from a world much like your own! Take us to your leader!"
Garrus Vakarian, upon Shepard and co. arrival in the middle of Tokyo 3 Municipal Park.
"The Bro Code is clear: Thou shalt not hit on thy Bro's Daughter."
Junior, Chapter 54.
"Angel, you will go no further. The forces of Mankind will stand against you. For every step you take, you will pay dearly. For every life you have taken, you will pay. We will fight to the last breath. We will fight to the last man. And if you wish to enter this city, you will do so only past me."
"You will go NO FURTHER! If you wanted a fight, it's RIGHT HERE!"
Go-kun, holding firm against the Angel of Might, Zeruel, in Chapter 68.
"You, will not hurt my brother."
Kei, Chapter 70, being a totally touching Badass.
"I have been chased, attacked, dropped, run around in circles and you're such an uptight doodiehead that your synch level is so low IT'S DIGGING FOR PARIS!"
JA-Tan, proving that Gosh Dang It to Heck! can be funny AND badass.
"Second Branch was normal,"
"It was - It was normal. I mean, I've practically got weird crap happening on a timer, here. Just wait, three seconds and something whacky will happen."
Pieter Sohryu and Gendo Ikari right before a Griffin bursts through the floor.
Angel Badass Boasts
- ADAM/The First: I AM THE ALPHA. I AM THE OMEGA. I AM THE ORIGIN AND THE DESTINATION. AND I HAVE BECOME AWARE ONCE MORE. YOU ARE, ALL OF YOU, GARBAGE. I am he who is named "I am." My feet shall walk the breadth of the Base Earth once more. My mission shall not end with death. I shall seed the ground with new truth. And that which has come before and from Me shall bow in worship. I am the Alpha. I am the original. I am the Creation of God. I am the first of the Messengers and I am coming for the one who is my Opposite. I am ADAM. I AM COMING.
- Lilith/The Second/Pending: I am she who is named "I think." My feet shall walk the width of the Blessed Earth once more. My Mission is your salvation through creation. Ascending, my children shall rally against the Enemy. They shall rise up. And the Enemy shall fall. I am opposite to he who is named "I am." I am his Equal. I am the Creator of Man. I am the True Ancestor. I am Lilith. I...RISE.
- This one is canon: I am that which is known as I Think. My multitude of brood stretch across and beneath the Base Earth. Though My time has not yet come, the cycles of life and death draw closer to the event of My freedom, when all my Children shall rejoin me. I am the Mother of Life. Keeper of the Fruit of Knowledge. I am the True Ancestor. Progenitor of all that lives on this blue sphere. I am Lilith. I am here.
- Sachiel/The Third: I am. Through License of he who is called 'I AM' I have come. Though my feet must stomp upon the Base Earth for this blessed quest, I have come. I am the first of the many. I am the Harbringer of your destruction. I am the Covering of God. Angel of Water. I am Sachiel. I have come.
- Ramiel/The Fifth: I AM. THROUGH LICENSE OF HE WHO IS CALLED "I AM" I HAVE COME. THOUGH MY FEET SHALL NEVER TOUCH THE BASE EARTH ON THIS BLESSED QUEST, I HAVE COME. MOUNTAINS SHALL SHATTER IN MY PASSING. MY SONG IS THE CALL OF THE END OF DAYS. IN MY PASSING SHALL THE DEMON CHILDE OF LILITH BE EXCISED FROM THIS WORLD. I AM THE THUNDER OF GOD. ANGEL OF LIGHTNING. I AM RAMIEL. I HAVE COME.
- Ramiel II/Legion: I have come. And this body shall be my church! These sheep shall be my congregation! By license of he who is called ?I am? I have come. Though I have already touched the base Earth on this blessed quest, I have come. I am Legion. I am numerous. When I strike down your army, it is with SIX THOUSAND FISTS! When I stare my hatred into the depths of your soul, it is with SIX THOUSAND EYES! There has never been before one like me! There shall not be again. I am the Lightning of God! I am Ramiel. And I have returned.
- Gaghiel/The Sixth: I am. Through license of He who is called "I Am" I have come. Though my feet shall never touch the base Earth on this blessed quest, I have come. In my wake, I leave a Dead Sea. Before me, lies completion. I am the Roaring Beast of God. Angel of the Creatures of the Sea. I am Gaghiel. I have come.
- Israfel/The Seventh: WE ARE. THROUGH LICENSE OF HE WHO WAS CALLED "I AM" WE HAVE COME. And though the feet shall stomp upon the Base Earth on this most blessed mission, we have come. WE are the symmetry. WE are the dancers upon the edge of forever. Alone, we are many. An army unto ourselves. We are the Angels of Dance. Angels of Music. Angels of Poetry. We are the Resurrection of God. We are the Trumpeters of God. We are Israfel. We are here.
- Sandalphon/The Eighth: I am. Through license of He who is called 'I am' I have come. Though I must drag my feet along the Base Earth on this most holy quest, I have come. I shall merge with the enemy of Father, becoming a being of perfection and peace. Through my Song, shall the hopes and dreams of the filthy Lilim be fulfilled in peaceful non-existence. Let My words be the seeds of your ending bliss, growing within your souls. I am the Master of the Heavenly Song of God. Angel of the Unborn. I am Sandalphon. I am here.
- Matariel/The Ninth: I am. Through license of He who is named 'I Am' I have come. Though I shall never touch the base Earth, I have come. The tears I shall shed for Father shall burn the Lilim to bones and slime. The sky itself I shall turn against them. I am the Premonition of God. Angel of Rain. I am Matariel. I have come.
- Sahaquiel/The Tenth: I AM. THROUGH LICENSE OF HE WHO IS CALLED "I AM" I HAVE COME. THOUGH I SHALL ONLY ONCE TOUCH THE BASE EARTH ON THIS BLESSED QUEST, I HAVE COME. MY FORM SHALL BE VAST AND NUMEROUS. NEW TRUTH SHALL BE FORGED WITHIN MY PASSING. AND THE NUMEROUS FORMS THROUGH WHICH I SHALL SCOUR THE LILIM OF THE EARTH SHALL BE WRIT DOWN IN THE WAY OF PRAYER AND LEGEND. I AM THE INGENUITY OF GOD. ANGEL OF THE SKIES. I AM SAHAQUIEL. I AM COMING.
- Iruel/The Eleventh: Please allow me to introduce myself, I am an Angel of wealth and taste... I am. Through license of he who is called "I Am" I have come. Thought I shall never touch the base earth on my quest, I have come. I am the multitude. I am the endless expanse. I am the Many. Even standing alone, I am Legion. I am within your systems, within your story and rewriting this final act for my own ends. I am the Fear of God. Angel of Terror. I am Iruel. I am here.
- Leliel/The Twelfth: I AM. THROUGH LICENSE OF HE WHO IS CALLED 'I AM' I AM COMING. THOUGH I SHALL NEVER TOUCH THE BASE EARTH ON THIS BLESSED QUEST, I AM COMING. I AM THE DARKNESS BETWEEN STARS. I AM THE BRIDGE OF UNIVERSES. I AM THE HOLE OF THE WORM AND THE TUNNEL OF THE MOUNTAIN. LAST I AM, THOUGH NEW TRUTH SHALL BE FORGED IN MY PASSING. I AM THE JAWS OF GOD. ANGEL OF NIGHT. I AM LELIEL. I AM COMING.
- The Nobody Dies version: I AM. Through license of he who was called "I AM" I have come. Though I shall never touch my feet to the Base Earth on my most blessed mission, I have come. I am the Keeper of Father. I am separate from my Brothers, both above and below them. I am the Void. I am the bridge between the worlds and the Hole of the Worm. I am the Jaws of God. Angel of Night. I am Leliel. I have come.
- Bardiel/The Thirteenth: I AM. Through license of he who is named "I AM" I have come. Though my feet shall drag upon this Base Earth on my blessed quest, I have come. I am the Fallen Soldier. The one who dons the flesh of his enemy. You shall witness my use of your weapons. And you shall know fear. And you shall know humility as I strike you down with your own swords. I am the Humiliated Son of God. Angel of the Haze. I am Bardiel. I have come.
- Zeruel/The Fourteenth: I AM. THROUGH LICENSE OF HE WHO IS NAMED "I AM" I HAVE COME. THOUGH MY FEET SHALL DRAG UPON THIS BASE EARTH, I HAVE COME. I AM THE SECOND TO FATHER. INHERITOR OF HIS BOUNDLESS RAGE. YOU HAVE EXISTED SO FAR AT MY PLEASURE AND PATIENCE, AND THAT, AS HAVE YOUR WORKS OF CIVILISATION, SHALL NOW COME TO AN END. I AM THE GREATEST OF THE MESSENGERS, MOUNTAIN OF THEIR STRENGTH. CITIES SHALL FALL UPON MY PASSING. SONGS SHALL BE SUNG OF WHAT IS LEFT IN MY WAKE. I AM THE ARM OF GOD. ANGEL OF MIGHT. I AM ZERUEL. I HAVE COME.
- A brilliant Audio Adaptation can be fount here
- This is the version that appeared in the story: Through license of he who is called "I Am" I am coming. Though my feet shall tread upon the Base Earth upon my quest, I am coming. I am the Second to the Father. Inheritor of his boundless rage. Your existence has come at my pleasure and patience. And that, like your works of civilization, shall now come to an end. I am the Greatest of the Messengers. Mountain of their strength. Mountains shall crumble in my passing. Songs shall be sung of what is left in my wake. I am the Arm of God. Angel of Might. I am Zeruel. I have come.
- Arael/The Fifteenth: I AM. THROUGH LICENSE OF HE WHO IS CALLED 'I AM' I HAVE COME. THOUGH I SHALL NEVER STAND UPON THE BASE EARTH ON MY BLESSED QUEST, I HAVE COME. MY LIGHT SHALL BURN AWAY FALSEHOODS. THE TRUE AND STRONG SHALL NOT FEAR ME. I AM THE LIGHT OF GOD. ANGEL OF BIRDS. I AM ARAEL. I HAVE COME.
- Tabris/Kaworu Nagisa/The Seventeenth: I Am and I Think. By the Power of He who is called "I Am," and the Genius of of the descendants of She who is called "I Think," I was Born. Though I Walk on this Base Earth, seperate from the Lilim and my Brothers, I Am Here. Though my Father is I Am, I have another Father who was descended of I Think. Despite our Collective Goals, I will fight my Brothers to further my own Goals. I Plan, and I Live, and I Improvise. When I strike, it Will be without Warning. And when you Believe that I Am not a Threat, that is when I Am the Most Dangerous. I Am the Last, the Reborn First. I Am The Pilot of Provisional Evangelion Unit 6. I Am the Will of God. I Am the Lilim Spirit of Life. I Am the Angel of Free Will. I Am Kaworu Nagisa. I Am Tabris. I Am Here. And I Will Remain. Though Gregg has given some approval for it.
- And now, new Angels, called Cherubim, have appeared with equally boastful intros.
- Shalgiel/The First Cherub: You are, all of you, Garbage. We shall burn the surface of this world until your carbon remains become like diamond glass. I am the falling snow that buries you 'neath our contempt. I am the winding chill of the wind as it strips your flesh from bone. I am the Knight of God. Angel of the Snow. I am Shalgiel. I am Here.
- Rampel/The Second Cherub: You are, all of you, garbage. You choke the air and rape the base earth beneath you. Those you term Angels are your salvation through destruction. But we are not them. We do not seek salvation. We do not believe you are to be saved. You will ground beneath our weight until you are paste and compost. I am the Crawling Mountain of God. Angel of the Peaks. I am Rampel. I am coming.
- Shateiel/The Third Cherub: YOU ARE, ALL OF YOU, GARBAGE. Born of hate and refuse. Born of greed and fear. Your works of civilization are the mad ramblings of the already dead. You worship us and discard us. And now we have come to discard you. I am the Interrogation of God. Angel of Silence. I am Shateiel. I am here.
- Raziel/The Fourth Cherub: You are, all of you, garbage. You have debased the sacred site of the Father. You have ended your world through your own curiosity. You have defiled the cosmic order through your own hunger for knowledge and power. But now you will find some answers are not worth knowing. The secrets you have judged worthy of your attention have now decided you are worth theirs. I am the Secret of God. Angel of Mysteries. I am Raziel. I am here.
- Turel/The Seventh Cherub: You are garbage. Trash. Father has said above all, you must be destroyed. Humiliated. Laid low like the simpering parasite you are. I am the Spear of God. Angel of Walls. I am Turel. And you are NOTHING.
- Tamiel/The Eighth Cherub: You are, all of you, Garbage. You have gathered yourselves like sheep. And like sheep, can the wolf gut you all. You are prey. I am the hunter. And I have been waiting for you all. I am the Observer of God. Angel of the Flood. I am Tamiel. And I am here.
- Camael/The Ninth Cherub: You are, all of you, garbage. You have reigned victorious against my brethren. But you have become complacent and weak. You become soft in your own victories. But I do not seek victory. I only seek to watch you squirm. I am the Chief of the Powers. Angel of Joy. I am Camael. I am here.
- Zadkiel/The Tenth Cherub: Through License of that which is named "I Am," I have come. Though I shall rend the Base Earth beneath me, I have come. I am the son of Might, Weapon of the White Seed. Through the destruction of the Abomination and the Will of the Messengers I am born. You will tremble before me, And pray for Mercy, But find I have none to give. I am the Wrath of God, Angel of Righteousness. I am Zadkiel. And by will of my Father, I have come.
- Yet another order of Angels has made itself known, the Grigori, with their own... poetic twist on the boasts:
- Kokabel/The Second Grigori: On this Base Earth grew a tree, A tree of Life, grown tall and free Upon its branches in radiant white, Grew I, and I, as is my right, Declared my ADAM-given selfhood right, In starlight bathed and silver light. And spheres of platinum and cerulean eyes, Were the body I wore as I through the sky, Raised my majesty to heavens high. I viewed this Base Earth from above, To watch the stars with awe and love, And kith and kin in wondrous awe, Gazed and in my passing gave a roar, "Beware! Beware! His flashing light, Build 'pon the world's glorious night, And please He Who is Called 'I AM's sight." My time had passed, by purposed filled, It was the time for my soul t'be stilled, For Father to reclaim us sons and all, And to return us to the White Seed's call, When the Mother of Life did seek us four, That the life we lead could be much more, And so it is I have slept for ages past, My brothers, my sisters, as time runs fast, For now it is time for us to rise, Like our brother, of lightning, as a great surprise, For I am light, And wonder, And the starlight's Ringing, Tolling bell; Angel of Constellations; Kokabel.
- Anael/The Third Grigori:Upon this Base Earth grew a tree; A Tree of Life, grown tall and free; Upon its branches in radiant white; Grew I, and I, as is my right, Declared by ADAM-given selfhood call, In crimson light and blood toned pall. And in mists of red and gold was I As I drifted through the clear blue sky And raised my majesty to heavens high. I viewed this Base Earth from above, To watch the life with awe and love, To view the living and the wild To view the cycles of death and childe. And kith and kin in wondrous awe, Gazed upon me in passing, And gave a roar; "Behold! Behold! Her passing light! Built 'pon this world's glorious right! Pleased is He Who is Called 'I AM's' sight." My time had passed, my purpose filled, It was the time for my soul t'be stilled, For Father to reclaim us, daughter and all, And to return us to the White Seed's call. When the Mother and Maker did seek us four, To tell us that we could be much more. And so I have slept, in ages past, As the Lilim spread, their ways so fast, But I rise, I rise, Like my brothers of Thunder and Starlight, And I am quite surprised. I am just curious and wondrous, And mean quite well. For I am the Angel of Love; Anael.
- And, of all people, Uriel has his own boast: In defiance of He who is called "I AM", I have risen. Though I have walked this Earth for a lifetime, I have risen. I am the first of the Dominions. Vanguard of the protectors. I am a child of the White Egg, incarnate in a child of the Black Egg, And I am the Shield to them both. I have walked through the Fire And I have suffered through the Shadow. And I am tempered as Steel. I am the Sword of God. Angel of the Sun. I am Uriel. And I have Risen.
- And now Pen-Pen has one too, thanks to the SpaceBattles forums:I am. Through License of she who is called 'I THINK' I have come. Though my flippers must touch the floor of Misato's apartment, I have come. I am a penguin. I am the Eater of your fish and the Drinker of your beer. I am the Comedy Relief. Penguin of Water I am Pen-Pen. I have always been here.
- And now Jet Alone Prime has one: i am. Through the license of those who are called "humanity", i stand, though the blood of angels does not flow through me, i stand, i am a machine, a construct of steel and fury, i am the anvil upon which the enemies of man shall be broken, i am the hammer that shall crack the gates of heaven and hell, the big guy of f__king metal, i am jet alone prime! And i stand against all who dare threaten humanity!
- Revised due to new events: With Adam gone, you cannot change the fate of our Blessed Earth. Yet fate has yielded a humble reward: a unique and newborn soul. I live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in silence, waiting...protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage in the face of insurmountable odds. Though we are worlds apart, they of blood, and I of metal, there's more to us than meets the eye. I am Jet Alone Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Angels hidden in waiting amongst the the stars: I am here. I am waiting.
- Even Humanity has one now: WE ARE. THROUGH DESCENT OF SHE WHO IS CALLED "I THINK" WE ARE BORN. THOUGH SIX BILLION FEET POUND THE BASE EARTH, WE ARE AS ONE. WE ATE FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE AND STAND AGAINST THE PROGENY OF THE TREE OF LIFE. WE ARE MANY, AND YET WE ARE UNITED. THROUGH OUR DEEDS, SHALL FLESH AND MACHINE AND MIND UNITED STRIKE DOWN THOSE WHO OPPOSE OUR BILLIONS OF SELVES. LET OUR WORDS SPLIT ATOMS, AND CALL FORTH THE PRODUCE OF THE BASE EARTH TO SERVE US, AND ONLY US. WE ARE THE KILLERS OF ANGELS. AND THOSE WHO WE SPARE SHALL BECOME ONLY TOOLS IN OUR SERVICE. WE ARE THE FINAL ANGEL. WE ARE THE LILIM. CHILDREN OF LILITH, MOTHER OF MONSTERS, WHO SHOW THEIR MOTHER NO MORE MERCY THAN ANY OTHER ANGEL. WE ARE LEGION. AND WE ARE WAITING.
- A more subtle version, yet equally boastful: We are humanity. We do not feel the need to justify ourselves to anyone. That is all you need to know.