If your sex does require an emergency supply kit, and ends up with someone passed out, covered in hives and bleeding while the fire department is kicking your door in, we humbly suggest you just seriously did something wrong. Like really wrong. Whatever you were doing, don't do it again. For the love of God, don't do it again.
There is no passion without broken crockery.
"When did the building fall down?"
— Buffy after having truly destructive sex with Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Wrecked"
"That... got a little dark."
— Sterling Archer, after a 3-way with Lana and an arms dealer that involves chocolate smeared everywhere, Archer
Bashir: A compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches — what have you been doing?
Quark: You mean... [to his unscratched Klingon girlfriend] what have we been doing? [they laugh]
Bashir: Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around my head — I'll just treat you.
[Jadzia and Worf stagger in, supporting each other]
Bashir: What happened to you two?
Worf: We, um—
Jadzia: Well, um, if you must know—
Bashir: No! No, uh, I don't need that image either. In fact, I — I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all.
Quark: You mean... [to his unscratched Klingon girlfriend] what have we been doing? [they laugh]
Bashir: Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around my head — I'll just treat you.
[Jadzia and Worf stagger in, supporting each other]
Bashir: What happened to you two?
Worf: We, um—
Jadzia: Well, um, if you must know—
Bashir: No! No, uh, I don't need that image either. In fact, I — I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all.
Clerk 1: You saw 'em! They had the stripes!note
Clerk 2: And you know what that means.
Clerk 1: What, what — like "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex?"
Clerk 2: No, Laughing Boy, think. "Man of Steel, Woman of Steel, Bed of Kleenex."
Clerk 2: And you know what that means.
Clerk 1: What, what — like "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex?"
Clerk 2: No, Laughing Boy, think. "Man of Steel, Woman of Steel, Bed of Kleenex."
I'm not trying to be crude, but it plays out a lot like a bar fight. Bodies get hurled around. Things get broken. Some pretty filthy language is uttered. Some very misplaced anger is present. And tomorrow, there's definitely going to be some bruising.
— Catwoman, Volume 1 the Game
"We didn't break the bed this time, did we? I mean, we really didn't, did we? I don't want to cost you any more money."
— Dev-Em, Hellsister Trilogy
Naruto: (after receiving a noogie) Are you this rough with Shino too?
Fu: Please, I'm MUCH rougher with him. Then again, Shino is manly enough to take in all my love.
Fu: Please, I'm MUCH rougher with him. Then again, Shino is manly enough to take in all my love.
"Oh, Gregory! You've broken the bed!" (Beat) "Don't look so pleased wi' yaself. It's old, it didn' take much."
— Sharon Theodopolopodous, Birds of a Feather, "Trouble and Strife"
