The Nigel Chronicles is a humorous fantasy series by Scott McCormick, currently consisting of the novel The Dragon Squisher (2020). The series pokes fun at popular fantasy settings, with the first novel in particular being a satire of The Lord of the Rings.
Nigel is a 14-year-old troublemaker. When his latest prank ruins the town's celebration, his mother ships him off to military school. His rival Lance Hightower is likewise sent to be a cadet, and they quickly put their differences aside and become good friends. Sadly, Nigel can't help himself, so one too many pranks results in him and Lance being banished from the kingdom, just as a war starts between the humans and the gorks. The duo meets a female gork prisoner named Eldrack and find themselves on the hunt for a powerful artifact purportedly made by Lord Smoron during the age of magic. Realizing that the artifact has the power to bring the powerful sorcerer back to life, the trio decides to undertake a journey to Mount Booboo in order to destroy it, following in the footsteps of the famous Group of Nine, who destroyed Smoron's cufflinks twenty-five ago, putting an end to the age of magic.
The series contains examples of the following tropes.
- An Arm and a Leg: Lord Smoron was defeated by an alliance of humans and elves 2000 years ago by cutting off his hands and taking the magical cufflinks.
- Artifact of Doom: Two such artifacts were made by Lord Smoron over two thousand years ago. The magical cufflinks and the amulet. The cufflinks made Smoron irresistible and also allowed him to control the kings he'd given magical panties to. After Smoron was defeated, the kings decided that they didn't want to lose the power of the magical panties, so instead of destroying the cufflinks, they would hide them. Two thousand years later, the cufflinks were found, allowing Smoron to return and force the gorks to wage war on the human kingdoms, until a halfling named Elbo and the Group of Nine took them to Mount Booboo and thrown them into the lava, putting an end to the age of magic. The amulet can do pretty much anything the wearer wishes it to. Using the cufflinks or the amulet temporarily transports the wearer to a featureless void, where they see a giant nose that constantly gets closer with each use. Not only that, but the wearer feels the addictive urge to keep using the artifact. Lord Smoron later admits it was a clever enchantment he placed on the artifacts in order to encourage wearers to keep using them in order to bring him back to life.
- Big Bad: Lord Smoron was an Evil Sorcerer thousands of years ago, who started the age of magic by tricking the human and elven kings into using the magical panties he made for them, while crafting the magical cufflinks for himself that allowed him to control the kings. He then rallied an army of gorks against the other races, and it took a combined force of humans and elves to defeat him. Smoron returns twice, twenty-five years ago and now. Both times it's because of Nigel using one of his magical items. He's finally Killed Off for Real when Nigel making use of the Never the Selves Shall Meet rule of Time Travel by shoving "his" Lord Smoron into Smoron's past self. The future Smoron pops out of existence.
- Coming-Out Story: Not long after they arrive to the military school, Nigel and Lance are sent to dig latrines. Nigel explains that the reason he never liked Lance was because Lance would always get all the girls. Lance admits he doesn't even like girls and has moved to their town to escape persecution over his sexual orientation. Nigel gets angry at him, not at being gay (he actually has zero problems with that), but at getting all the girls and not even liking them.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Nigel really doesn't like being called the "Dragon Squisher" after crushing a group of dragons with a mountain (with the help of the amulet, of course). He insists on "Dragon Slayer" or "Dragon Crusher". Sadly, "Dragon Squisher" spreads far and wide.
- End of an Age: The age of magic came to an end twenty-five years ago, when the Group of Nine destroyed Lord Smoron's cufflinks, which removed any magic from the panties he'd given to the human and elven kings. The disappearance of magic also led to many magical creatures leaving. Nigel getting his hands on the amulet and using it starts bringing magic back.
- Evil Sorcerer: Lord Smoron crafted the nine magical panties he gave to human and elven kings. He also created magical cufflinks that allowed him to control the wearers of the panties. It turns out he also created the amulet, but his mother took it from him, and it was lost for millennia. When asked how he crafted the magical items, he says it requires a deep understanding of quantum physics. He also claims to be the creator of the gorks thanks to his study of bioengineering, although Eldrack doubts his story.
- Humans Are the Real Monsters: Zigzagged. While this is certainly Eldrack's view of humans, and Nigel is forced to admit she has a point, the gorks aren't that much better. In fact, the two species have a lot in common. Neither is truly good or evil.
- Never the Selves Shall Meet: It's generally not a good idea for one to run into one's past or future self. Nigel ends up killing the immortal Lord Smoron by pushing him into his past self. The future Lord Smoron just pops out of existence.
- The Reveal: The great journey of the Group of Nine never happened. While they fully intended to go on the trek to Mount Booboo, Nigel's arrival from the future and the destruction of the cufflinks with the help of the amulet means they don't need to actually do anything. Elbo is regretful he won't be able to write a book about it. Nigel realizes that Elbo has to write that book, since it served as an inspiration for their own quest, so he and Lance give Elbo pointers on writing a false account of the events.
- Stable Time Loop: Not long after ending up in military school, Nigel witnesses the destruction of a palace by what appears to be two balls of dragonfire, although no dragon is seen nearby. This leads to a war with the gorks, so Nigel and Lance are made to dig latrines near an unfinished barn. Nigel's love for pranks results in the barn being destroyed and them being banished... ahem, sent on a quest. At some point, the trio is beset by a dragon named Reginald, who fires two balls of fire at Nigel, who instinctively gets rid of the fireballs with the amulet. Later on, after Lord Smoron returns to life, he explains that Nigel accidentally transported the fireballs back in time to destroy the palace. Nigel admits that he did note that the fireballs looked very familiar, thinking back to the attack on the palace, which likely triggered the amulet. According to Lord Smoron, the amulet does not allow one to change the past in order to avoid creating a paradox.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: When Lord Smoron finally returns, it turns out that spending 2000 years in a dark void means that his eyes need a lot of time to adjust to sunlight, while all his muscles are atrophies, so he can't really do anything for quite a while.
- Teleportation: One of the most common uses of the amulet. But it requires the user to picture the destination or actually see it, so it's not possible to go where one hasn't been. Nigel later figures out a quick way to move across the world by transporting the group to a cloud, then to another cloud, and so on. This allows them to cross hundreds of miles in minutes. Lord Smoron admits he never thought of doing that. One has to be wary of a Tele-Frag, though, and Nigel's mother threatens to rearrange the furniture in her home after Nigel pops in for the third time.
- Time Travel: The amulet allows Nigel to travel back in time, but it also prevents him from changing his own past, usually by making him invisible and intangible or simply refusing to obey.
