Link awakens After the End and has to stop the Leaking Can of Evil from causing another Apocalypse How, exploring anything and everything in any order along the way.
Alt Version
Link blows himself up repeatedly, sets himself on fire, gets frozen, walks head-first into heavily armed foes, falls down ravines, gets crushed/pelted with boulders, gets electrocuted, barely sleeps for weeks on end, gets his horse killed from under him a couple of times, somehow eking out food and shelter, all while stumbling his way to rescue Princess Zelda... if he ever gets there.
- Link... You are the light - our light - that must shine upon the unabridged version again.