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Funny / The Silmarillion

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  • It's pretty amusing when Morgoth and Ungoliant get into their argument. Ungoliant tells Morgoth that, for her help, she wants to eat the world. Morgoth basically replies "You can't eat the world, I have to rule it!"
    • How does Ungoliant react? She tries to eat him.
  • After killing the Two Trees and fleeing back to Middle-Earth, Ungoliant demands the Silmarils Morgoth's hiding behind his back. Morgoth refuses, at which point she wraps him in his webs and threatens to eat him. Cue Morgoth screaming so loudly that all of Middle-Earth hears him.
  • Beren tries to hold off Carcharoth with a Silmaril in his hand. Carcharoth responds by eating Beren's hand. Om nom.
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  • When Beren and Lúthien return, Thingol asks where the Silmaril is. Beren promptly replies, "Even now a Silmaril is in my hand." He subsequently holds up his bloody stump of where his hand used to be. Thingol is rather lost for words, as one might expect.
  • The scene where Fëanor calls Morgoth a "jail-crow of Mandos" and then slams the door in his face.
    • The narration pointing out that yes, Fëanor did just slam the door in the face of pretty much the most powerful being known to him.
  • Haleth cracking the only joke in the whole book, and it's actually a pretty good one, if rather dark. Basically, 'If Thingol thinks I'm going to join up with Melkor after what he did to my family and my people, then the minds of Elves are strange, scary places.'
    • Not so funny when you remember that with all the kinslaying even in the face of being made extinct by Morgoth, just for some pretty stones (and almost every tragedy in the First Age), the minds of the elves are strange and scary places.
  • Beren remarking to Thingol that Elven-kings must not think much of their daughters if they're willing to marry them off in exchange for some jewelry. This in response to an Engagement Challenge that amounts to "Travel to the hellish fortress filled with countless legions and demons and steal the most brilliant, beautiful, and masterfully crafted objects to ever exist from the most powerful being in existence".
    • But then again, it nicely sums up what all the Edain (the race of Men) are probably thinking about this war they stumbled into ("So let me get this straight, all this death and suffering is happening because of three lightbulbs?").
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  • The creation of the Ents — Yavanna has a hissy fit when Aulë makes the Dwarves, as he didn't tell her about it, or ask for her help, and aren't the tree-hugging pacifists she would prefer. She then storms out, gets permission from Manwë to create a race of guardians, the Ents, and then comes back to gloat to her husband, who is busy in his forge and doesn't even look up from his work.
  • Lúthien and Huan defeat Sauron on his island, and Sauron has to fly back to Dorthonion still bleeding from his throat. One look at the map shows that Sauron must have been pretty hurt and panicked, because the shortest and thus fastest way includes flying straight over Gondolin and there is no mention anywhere that he reported finding, let alone noticed, the one city Morgoth has been looking for the most.
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  • Turin being absolutely clueless about Finduilas' feelings for him, and blurting out to Gwindor that, when the day comes, he (Gwindor) can be healed and get back together with his loyal, loving fiancee. Gwindor's reaction is recorded as a flat, blank stare, presumably because there is no word for "facepalm" in Elvish.
  • From the Fall of Gondolin: One of the Gondothlim guards says a short poem about all of Gondolin's many names, including Gondobar, Gondothlimbar, Gwarestrin and Gar Thurion, and ends it with basically saying "But we usually call it Gondolin".


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