History Funny / TheSilmarillion

* It's pretty amusing when Morgoth and Ungoliant get into their argument. Ungoliant tells Morgoth that, for her help, she wants to eat the world. Morgoth basically replies "[[EvilVersusOblivion You can't eat the world, I have to]] ''[[EvilVersusOblivion rule]]'' [[EvilVersusOblivion it]]!"
** How does Ungoliant react? She tries to eat ''him''.
* After killing the Two Trees and fleeing back to Middle-Earth, Ungoliant demands the Silmarils Morgoth's hiding behind his back. Morgoth refuses, at which point she wraps him in his webs and threatens to eat him. Cue Morgoth screaming so loudly that all of Middle-Earth hears him, and all the Balrogs come running. [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome The ensuing fight is a close tie.]]

* Beren tries to hold off Carcharoth with a Silmaril in his hand. Carcharoth responds by eating Beren's hand. Om nom.

** [[FunnyAneurysmMoment Not so funny]] when you remember that with all the kinslaying even in the face of being made extinct by Morgoth, just for some pretty stones (and almost every tragedy in the First Age), the minds of the elves ''are'' strange and scary places.

* When Beren and Lúthien return, Thingol asks where the Silmaril is. Beren promptly replies, "Even now a Silmaril is in my hand." He subsequently holds up his bloody stump of where his hand used to be. Thingol is rather lost for words, as one might expect.

* Haleth cracking the only joke ''in the whole book,'' and it's actually a pretty good one, if rather dark. Basically, 'If Thingol thinks I'm going to join up with Melkor after what he did to my family and my people, then the minds of Elves are strange, scary places.'

* The creation of the Ents -- Yavanna has a hissy fit when Aulë makes the Dwarves, as he didn't tell her about it, or ask for her help, and aren't the tree-hugging pacifists she would prefer. She then storms out, gets permission from Manwë to create a race of guardians, the Ents, and then comes back to gloat to her husband, who is busy in his forge and doesn't even look up from his work.

* After killing the Two Trees and fleeing back to Middle-Earth, Ungoliant demands the Silmarils Morgoth's hiding behind his back. Morgoth refuses, at which point she wraps him in his webs and threatens to eat him. Cue Morgoth screaming so loudly that all of Middle-Earth hears him, and all the Balrogs come running. [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome the ensuing fight is a close tie.]]

* After killing the Two Trees and fleeing back to Middle-Earth, Ungoliant demands the Silmarils Morgoth's hiding behind his back. Morgoth refuses, at which point she wraps him in his webs and threatens to eat him. Cue Morgoth screaming so loudly that all of Middle-Earth hears him.

* The ''Silmarillion'' manages to make Galadriel giving Gimli three strands of her hair, originally a heartwarming moment, HillariousInHindsight. Turns out that Fëanor had asked Galadriel for a strand of her hair three times. Galadriel giving Gimli his boon was not only her being kind, but also a massive "fuck you" to her creepy uncle.

* Túrin being ''[[ObliviousToLove absolutely clueless]]'' about Finduilas's feelings for him, and blurting out to Gwindor that, when the day comes, he (Gwindor) can be healed and get back together with his loyal, loving fiancee. Gwindor's reaction is recorded as a flat, blank stare, presumably because there is no word for "{{facepalm}}" in Elvish.[[labelnote:*]]"Thîrplad" in Sindarin and "Antapalta" in Quenya might be close enough if you're looking for something, but it's not an official construct.[[/labelnote]]

* Turin being ''[[ObliviousToLove absolutely clueless]]'' about Finduilas' feelings for him, and blurting out to Gwindor that, when the day comes, he (Gwindor) can be healed and get back together with his loyal, loving fiancee. Gwindor's reaction is recorded as a flat, blank stare, presumably because there is no word for "{{facepalm}}" in Elvish.[[labelnote:*]]"Thîrplad" in Sindarin and "Antapalta" in Quenya might be close enough if you're looking for something, but it's not an official construct.[[/labelnote]]
* From the ''Fall of Gondolin'': One of the Gondothlim guards says a short poem about all of Gondolin's [[IHaveManyNames many names]], including Gondobar, Gondothlimbar, Gwarestrin and Gar Thurion, and ends it with basically saying "But we usually call it Gondolin".

* It's pretty amusing when Morgoth and Ungoliant get into their argument. Ungoliant tells Morgoth that, for her help, she wants to eat the world. Morgoth basically replies "You can't eat the world, I have to ''rule'' it!"

* Lúthien and Huan defeat Sauron on his island, and Sauron has to fly back to Dorthonion still bleeding from his throat. One look at the map shows that Sauron must have been pretty hurt and panicked, because the shortest and thus fastest way includes ''flying straight over Gondolin'' and there is no mention anywhere that he reported finding, let alone ''noticed'', the ''one city'' Morgoth has been looking for the most.
* Turin being ''absolutely clueless'' about Finduilas' feelings for him, and blurting out to Gwindor that, when the day comes, he (Gwindor) can be healed and get back together with his loyal, loving fiancee. Gwindor's reaction is recorded as a flat, blank stare, presumably because there is no word for "facepalm" in Elvish.[[labelnote:*]]"Thîrplad" in Sindarin and "Antapalta" in Quenya might be close enough if you're looking for something, but it's not an official construct.[[/labelnote]]
* From the ''Fall of Gondolin'': One of the Gondothlim guards says a short poem about all of Gondolin's many names, including Gondobar, Gondothlimbar, Gwarestrin and Gar Thurion, and ends it with basically saying "But we usually call it Gondolin".

* Turin being ''absolutely clueless'' about Finduilas' feelings for him, and blurting out to Gwindor that, when the day comes, he (Gwindor) can be healed and get back together with his loyal, loving fiancee. Gwindor's reaction is recorded as a flat, blank stare, presumably because there is no word for "facepalm" in Elvish.