- If you attempt to pick up an object that is classified as a background element or a permanent non-inventory item, Sam will say "I can't pick that up." However, if you persist...Sam: I can't pick that up.Sam: No really, I can't pick that up.Sam: Are you dense? I can't pick that up!Sam: [Dangerously] Read my lips- I... CAN'T... PICK... THAT... UP.Sam: I give up.[Sam bursts into tears.]Max: Now you've done it! You've broken Sam's spirit with your stupid attempts to pick up that silly object![Sam continues whimpering.]Max: In fact, if I didn't find his pitiful sobbing so amusing, I'd come out there and rip your limbs off![Naturally, you try picking up the item again; this time, Sam lets out a choked gasp of horror, and starts crying again.]Max: Just ignore them, Sam. Maybe they'll go away.
- If you have subtitles on, when Max says "pick up that silly object", the subtitles show up as "pick up item #(bunch of numbers)". Also, if you try this during the brief point in the game when Sam and Max are separated, Sam finally says "Look, don't make me come out there!" instead of sobbing, and if you click on the item again, he growls menacingly.
- Flint Paper throws a guy through his door window, which is followed by a hail of bullets that make a smiley face, which is then followed by Max pushing said victim off the banister his chin was caught on.Max: Gratuitous acts of senseless violence are my forte!Sam: You're such an adorable urchin, Max.
- The bomb exchange after the opening credits:Sam: Where should I put this so it won't harm anyone we know or care about?
Max: Out the window Sam! There's nobody but strangers out there!
(Sam obediently lobs the bomb out the window, whereupon it explodes.)
Sam: I hope there was nobody on that bus.
Max: Nobody we know, at least.
- In the whack-a-rat game at the carnival, you can hit Max instead of the rats; he barely notices. The rats themselves are actually real, and start looking more beaten up as the game goes on.
- After the Kushman brothers explain to Sam and Max that they don't wear clothes. (Their skin is naturally colored to resemble clothing.)Max: Good lord, Sam! He's buck naked!
Sam: So are you.
Max: Yeah, but I'm cute and marketable.
- After Sam and Max finally retrieve the tooth of a T-Rex to use as one of the Plot Coupons to solve the final puzzle:Sam: We finally got the tooth.
Max: The whole tooth?
Sam: Nothing but.
- When Sam and Max arrive at Frog Rock:Sam: This doesn't look like a frog at all.
Max: My innocence has been shattered by this blatant tourist trap. I want my money back.
Sam: You didn't pay anything.
Max: Well, somebody better give me some money.
Sam: I think we're witnessing a celestial convergence of some sort.
- Leading up to the following Brick Joke:
Max: Will it make that rock look more like a frog?
- Examining the hot tub leads to this exchange:Sam: The pool of decadence.
Max: Bring me as many naked women as my poor eyes can stand!
Sam: Jesus, Max, you don't even like girls!
Max: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Funny / Sam & Max Hit the Road