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Funny / Robin Williams

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  • This sketch from the 1987 special Carol, Carl, Whoopi and Robin, when he starred as a strange man attempting to console Carol Burnett as a grieving widow at a funeral. After taping the sketch, Robin asked Carol if they could do it again, and the result was even funnier.
    (Original line, to mourners waiting to talk to Carol) I wouldn't wait, I'm gonna be here a while.
    (Ad-libbed version, same part) I wouldn't wait, I'm gonna be here a while. There's some coffee in the embalming room, but it tastes funny, be careful.
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  • "When I became a reformed alcoholic, I realized I'm the same asshole; I just have fewer dents in my car."
  • The history of golf.
  • His guest spot on Whose Line Is It Anyway? is widely considered one of the show's greatest episodes. Williams notably made the usually straight-faced Colin Mochrie corpse, which only one other guest star could do—Richard Simmons.
    (Scenes From A Hat topic: "What Robin Williams is thinking right now")
    Robin: I have a career, what the hell am I doing?
  • The entirety of Weapons of Self-Destruction.
    • His speech about the past 10 years.
    • The bit about GPS devices, especially the part where Robin talks about a Scottish GPS.
      I think that'd be an honest GPS. It'd go, (Scottish accent) "There's your turn! You fucking missed it, you idiot! Take one more left turn! Take another left turn! Deja fucking vu!"
      • That bit is now rather Harsher in Hindsight, thanks to the bit about the GPS placidly telling him to make a right turn when he was halfway across the Golden Gate Bridge:
      No can do, Hal. Not that depressed, really. And the car went "Really, Robin? I saw Bicentennial Man." Shut the fuck up!
  • His guest spot on The Graham Norton Show, where he revealed that he forgot to thank his mother in his Oscar acceptance speech, and afterwards she would try to guilt trip him about it.
    Robin: (imitating his mother) So, how's the award? You came through here (gestures toward his nether regions). How's the award?
    Robin: Even my therapist went "GET OUT!"
    • From the same episode of The Graham Norton Show, there's this incredibly dark joke about Propofol, the drug that killed Michael Jackson, which Robin had previously been administered during his open-heart surgery:
    Robin: Propofol, which nickname is “milk of amnesia” and it’s... Michael Jackson was taking Propofol to sleep, which is like doing chemotherapy because you're tired of shaving your head. [...] It has to be administered in a hospital situation and he was doing it at home.
  • As related by Billy Crystal at the 2014 Emmy Awards, the incident when he was with Robin and Whoopi Goldberg for an event at a baseball stadium, and Robin, completely unfamiliar with the sport, became the odd one out in their conversation. Then Billy gave him the idea to make up an impression of a Russian baseball player in Soviet Russia. Now THAT he can do.
    "We only have one team, it is called The Reds..."
  • In February 2000, shortly after David Letterman had open-heart surgery, Robin showed up to The Late Show with David Letterman in full surgical scrubs.
  • In a 2006 interview with Conan O'Brien, Conan asks if he can ask Robin a personal question. Without missing a beat, Robin responds with, "eight inches."
  • The entirety of his 2002 special Live On Broadway.
    • During his monologue about the Bible, he imagines Jesus having the Last Supper at a Chinese restaurant.