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  • Ben says to his father that he's in a little trouble, with Riley and Abigail behind him. Patrick looks at her and asking if she is pregnant. Ben lies and says yes. Abigail, subtly horrified, asks Riley, "I look pregnant?!" Becomes a Brick Joke when Abigail brings it up.
  • Most of Ben and Abigail's conversation in the van after he steals the Declaration.
    Abigail: There is not a map on the back of the Declaration of Independence–
    Ben: And there's no chance that anyone could steal this [shakes the tube containing the Declaration] either! [shakes it again]
  • Any time Riley says "Hello..." in that sing-songy voice.
  • "Sir, it's the Hudson. Nothing is visible."
  • The exchange between Sadusky and the ginger FBI agent Ben and Riley spoke with before the gala.
    Sadusky: We got a name on the tipster?
    FBI Agent: [looking more uncomfortable by the second] There was no file opened. We didn't find the information credible.
    Sadusky: *long, angry sigh* …How 'bout now?
  • Just about anything Riley says.
    Riley: (lying in the backseat, whining) When are we gonna get there? I'm hungry. This car smells weird.
    • His reaction at the end of the second movie when a hot brunette in glasses is interested in him. After two movies of playing the long-suffering sidekick who never gets any respect for his mad computer skills and glib remarks, here comes an attractive woman who not only knows his name, she has zero interest in Ben and wants Riley's autograph for her copy of his book, which its implied she has read cover to cover.
  • The deleted scene from the first movie, where Abigail and Riley run through an empty strip-club.
    Riley: Well, that was disappointing.
  • The scene where Abigail is hiding from Shaw behind a meat counter and has this encounter with one of the woman who works behind the counter.
    Woman Behind Counter: If you're not a steak you don't belong here.
    Abigail: I'm sorry, I'm just trying to hide from my ex-husband.
    Woman Behind Counter: Who, Baldy?
    [she observes Shaw]
    Woman Behind Counter: Honey, you can stay as long as you like.
    [Shaw approaches]
    Woman Behind Counter: Do you want something? Do you want something?
    Shaw: Shut up. [walks away]
    Woman Behind Counter: I see why you left him.
    • Made twice as funny in the German dub thanks to the butcher calling Shaw "Kojak" instead of the rather generic "Baldy."
  • The Friend-or-Idol Decision...Ben drops Abigail in order to save the Declaration of Independence. Ben starts apologizing, but Abigail reassures him: She would have done the exact same thing in Ben's position! Riley naturally lampshades this.
    Riley: I would have dropped you both. Freaks.
  • When Ben and Dr. Chase kiss almost by accident in the tomb, Victor enters behind them, witnesses it, and wonders aloud in a really distinct accent.
    Victor: Why does that never happen to me?
  • This bit:
    Victor: How did a bunch of people with hand tools build all this?
    Ben: The same way they built the pyramids, and the Great Wall of China.
    Riley: Yeah. The aliens helped them.
  • The Templar Treasure scene and Riley's reaction to it.
    Abigail: Riley, are you crying?
    Riley: Look.... Stairs.
    • "It's a big blueish-green man... with a strange-looking goatee. ... I'm guessing that's significant." *hugs the statue*
    • And in the sequel, they make a Call-Back to that joke with this: "It's a little golden man" (refering to a small idol.)
      Riley: Okay. Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?
  • From the sequel, Riley's reaction to not being able to read the Book of Secrets cover to cover.
  • In the sequel when they talk about Laboulaye, Patrick said that he was a Mason and per definition, he built clues into everything, as Masons usually did. Riley asked him if he read that in his book. Patrick's expression is a very deadpan mixture of "No" and "You wrote a book?".
  • The mean and nasty (and familiar) trick Ben plays on the group when he sticks his hand into the rock on top Mount Rushmore.
    (laughs) I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
  • In the sequel, the scene where the President of the United States has to resort to hitchhiking.
    [As a truck starts slowing down to give him a lift]
    POTUS: Well, this is going to be interesting.
  • Also in the sequel, a scene in Buckingham Palace where Ben and Abigail pretend to be a bickering couple is priceless!
    Abigail: I'm not making a scene right now—
    Riley: (over the ear piece radio) No, we need a scene.
    Ben: Well then FINE!, let's make a scene right NOW!
    Riley: Ah, so subtle.
    Ben: Oh, let me guess? IT'S THE WRONG TIME!!! IT'S THE WRONG PLACE!!! I'M WRONG AGAIN!!! * silly walk with over the top chanting* WRONG ABOUT US! WRONG ABOUT THOMAS GATES! WRONG THAT YOU'D LIKE THE QUEEN ANNE CHAIR!
    Abigail: You're wrong to assume I want the chair!
    Ben: *while grabbing a hapless bystander* You see? You see? Everyone listen to this. This is more interesting than that. She thinks that even when I'm right, I'm wrong, isn't that right? Abigail, just because I answer a question quickly, doesn't make it wrong.
    Abigail: Not if the right answer is something we need to figure out as a couple. That's what couples do.
    Police Officer: Sorry sir, you and the mussus are going to have to take it outside.
    Ben: Oh, look now you've got the little bobbies down on us! You take the missus outside. I'm staying right here!
    * slides down banister* WHEEE!!!
    • Ben's cheeky grin ("'Allo!") to the security guard who stops him on the way down the banister. Really, the entire scene is comedy gold, given that it involves Nicolas Cage getting to go nuts in a movie where his character is otherwise mostly straight-faced. Then he pretends to be drunk.
      Police Officer: *catching a whiff of Ben's "cologne"* Been drinking, have we?
      Ben: Just a nip. Popped down to the pub for a pint. But all right. Going to arrest a man for that? Going to detain a blighter for enjoying his whisKEY!?
      Officer: That's enough of that.
      Ben: Bangers and mash. Bubbles and squeak. Smoke eel pipe. HAGGIS!
      Officer: That's it! Dismount the banister!
      Ben: *gets wrested off the banister, and starts signing at the top of his lungs* I've got a bunch of lovely coconuts! Here they, are standing in a row! Small ones, big ones, some as big as your head!
    • And all Riley can say, having heard the entire ordeal over the comms?
  • Riley's odd tastes in treasure:
    Riley: Guys, look at this. (awestruck) It's a little golden man.
  • Ben's completely deadpan — but somehow still overacted — comment about Abigail's new love interest after he assures them that he can show them the Oval Office.
    "Connor rocks!"
  • When Abigail is about to row with Connor over how many presidents sat at the Resolute Desk, and thus completely forget about the plan to find its secret they need, Ben "subtly" reminds her why they're in there to begin with.
  • The janitor at Trinity Church has discovered the remains of Parkington Lane's coffin in the crypt (now the furnace room) and nervously picks up a hand that fell off. Then he hears a pounding from another grave marker and looks up, scared stiff. The janitor nearly drops his flashlight when the grave marker bursts and Ben sticks his head out.
    Ben: Hi! Do you have a cell phone I can borrow?
  • After Ben reads the scroll found in the pipe at the beginning of the first film, Ian, Riley, and Shaw exchange confused looks. Ben then helpfully adds, "It's a riddle." Cut to Riley with an expression that reads, "Yeah, we got that."
  • Ben has just uncovered the multi-lensed glasses and is describing how they're likely to work.
    Abigail: I heard Benjamin Franklin invented something like these.
    Ben: ...I think he invented these.

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