Funny / Me, Myself & Irene

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• Poor Charlie going at the church confessional:
  Charlie: "I don't know, Father, sometimes it just seems like the whole town is laughing at me behind my back!"
  Priest: "...Charlie, is that you?"
  Charlie: *quickly ducks*
• The montage when "Hank" fully emerges, and Charlie's later fights with Hank, including when Jim Carrey throws himself out of a car.
  • And then runs back to the car and gets back in.
  • He wraps one leg around the other to trip himself up out of a train about a meter up from the ground, in a stunt that doesn't look faked.
  • Hank about to take a crap on his neighbor's lawn, then a Match Cut to chocolate frozen yogurt a police officer is buying.
  • When Hank emerges for the first time:
    Hank: (goes through woman's cart) Vagi-Clean, huh? What's the matter, honey? A little extra cheese on the taco?
    Customer: (aghast) Excuse me?
    Hank: No, excuse me. (gets in front of the customer to place his helmet in her shopping cart) There's no price tag on this [the Vagi-Clean]. (reaches over and grabs the mic for the grocery store's PA) We need a price check on Vagi-Clean, aisle five. I repeat, we need a price check on Vagi-Clean, aisle five. That's VAGI-CLEAN. We got a customer out here with a full-on Fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough. (sniffs loudly while the woman drags her kids away in shock) Put a rush on that.
• One of his sons dropping a Cluster F-Bomb in German while reading a foreign user's manual.
  Jamaal: You a muthafuckin' disgrace! Sichern Sie die hinteren Türen und stellen Sie die mutterfressenden Rotorpedale ein! (Secure the aft doors and adjust the motherfucking rotor pedals!)
  Shonté Jr.: Jawohl! (Check!)
  Jamaal: Jetzt den gottverdammten Wechselrichter wechseln! (Now, disengage the goddamn inverter switch!)
  Shonté Jr.: Jawohl! (Check!)
  Jamaal: WELL, THEN GET THIS MOTHERFUCKER OFF THE GROUND!
  • Hell, ANY SCENE involving Charlie's stereotypically foul-mouthed, yet incredibly intelligent sons.
  • The end of the movie has Whitey, Jamaal, Lee Harvey and Shonté Jr. in the plane and wave goodbye to the audience.
    All: Bye, y'all! Thanks for watching our motherfucking movie!
  • One phrase: "Will you marry me, BITCH?"
  • This exchange:
    Lee Harvey: Is your old lady happy?
    Gerke: My old lady?
    Lee Harvey: Yeah man, 'cause if your fuckin' is anything like your police work you couldn't hit the G-spot on a twelve-pound pussy!
• After Whitey comes along for the ride, Irene tries on his rather unusual glasses, and vividly sees a bunch of faces in windows. Without the glasses, she faintly sees a passing airplane.
• "God damn it, Charlie! Those kid's dicks are bigger than them sausages!" Charlie's cooking footlongs.
• The scene where Charlie tries to put a wounded cow out of its misery. Even after multiple shots to the head at point blank range, it's still alive. He resorts to choking it- towards the end of the scene it lets out a gurgle noise. We find out in a later scene that even after all that, the cow still isn't dead!
  • And wearing a neck brace, at that!

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