Funny / Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

• In retaliation for Lois stealing his story and submitting it under her name, Clark scribbles a phony map to Superman's spaceship and leaves it on his desk for Lois to find. Later, Lois returns from her little expedition, covered in mud and carrying the broken heel of her shoe. The only thing Lois found was the Metropolis Sewer Reclamation Facility and a Godzilla doll dressed up like Superman. (Earlier, Jimmy had said that Godzilla was the only one who could teach Lois a lesson.)
• "Tempus Fugitive" has the most well-known funny moment of the series with this exchange.
  Lois: If you wanna kill Superman, I don't know why you're going to Smallville or 1966.
  Tempus: [to H. G. Wells] She doesn't know yet. Oh, this is good. This is really good. [to Lois] Um, Lois, did you know that, in the future, you're revered at the same level as Superman? Why, there are books about you, statues, an interactive game. You're even a breakfast cereal.
  Lois: Really?
  Tempus: Yes. But, as much as everybody loves you, there is one question that keeps coming up: "How dumb was she?" Here, I'll show you what I mean. Look. [takes Wells' glasses and puts them on] "I'm Clark Kent." [takes glasses off] "No, I'm Superman." [puts glasses back on] Mild-mannered reporter. [takes glasses back off] Superhero. Hello! Duh! Clark Kent is Superman! Ha, ha, ha. Well, that was worth the whole trip. To actually meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived.
• Clark Kenting is called on when a dose of Red Kryptonite gives Lois superpowers. She takes on the name of Ultra Woman to defend Metropolis, wearing a domino mask and freaking out over Perry and Jimmy coming, but Clark tells her not to worry. Lois is astounded the two don't recognize her at all.
  Lois: How can they not know?! They see me every day! How can they not look past a mask and... [sees Clark smirking at her and rolls her eyes]
• "The Ides of Metropolis":
  • Jonathan comes to see Clark, concerned that Martha might be having an affair with a younger artist with a covered painting as proof. When Clark tries to reassure him that just having a painting made isn't proof of anything, Jonathan unveils the painting right in front of Clark and reveals that it was a nude portrait. The look of Squicked-out horror on Clark's face says it all.
  Clark: [in an almost squeaking voice] M-mom? [cut to opening credits]
  • Lois and Clark go to interview Lex and find him skeet shooting off of his balcony... on the 110th floor of his building. When Clark asks him if he knows what could happen should he miss, Lex goes into a calm description of the lethal damage a falling clay pigeon could do before bragging that he never misses.
  • At the end of the episode, we see Lex privately doing this again. He shares a good gloat over the episode's events with his butler, takes aim, and... misses. With the funniest moment being his panicking-yet-somehow-stoic expression on his face as he watches it plummet towards the unsuspecting public.

    Lex: Oops... Nigel? Call...
    Both: The lawyers.

• "Pheromone, My Lovely." Just... the entire episode. Mostly because it's clear that the cast is having a lot of fun.
  • This exchange between Perry and Clark:
  Clark: ELVIS NEVER CHEATED ON PRISCILLA!
  Perry: HE NEVER MET RAHALIA!!!
  • Lois' attempts to get Clark's attention, plus her reaction when she comes to her senses and realises she's wearing a belly dancer's outfit.
  • Also worth mentioning is Lex's reaction to Lois kissing Superman at the end of the episode.
    Lex: I may be ill.
    • Even better is the look on Superman's face where Lois wonders if Superman is affected by the spray. You can clearly see Superman mulling it over before thinking this is his chance to get back at Lois for her behavior to him earlier and proceeds to go over-the-top in proclaiming his love for her.
• "I'm Looking Through You":
  • Superman shows up at his own apartment to talk to Lois and claims that he ran into Clark at the courthouse. When the phone rings, Superman answers and proceeds to have a one-sided conversation with "Clark." After he hangs up, the scene cuts to a very confused Martha staring wordlessly at the phone.
  • When Clark is explaining his problems with his growing celebrity status to his parents and complains that "Even Lois has Superman pajamas."
    Martha: You saw Lois in her pajamas?
    Clark: It was an accident when her robe came undone.
• From "Operation Blackout":
  Clark: Gee, Lois, if you were thirsty, all you had to do was say something.
  Lois: Clark, this isn't just any beer!
  Clark: I know. "It goes with sun and good times!"
• From "Meet John Doe":
  Malcom: Gotta go. Gonna jump to my death soon. Buh-bye.
• The costume montage in the second part of "Pilot," all set to "Holding Out For a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler. Most of them are flashy and ridiculous.
  • Then there's Martha's thoughts on how Clark Kenting could possibly work as Clark tries on the classic super-suit.
    Martha: Well, one thing's for sure, nobody's gonna be looking at your face...
    Clark: Mom!
    Martha: [laughing] Well, they don't call 'em "tights" for nothin'!
• "Man of Steel Bars":
  • Superman, due to being accused of inadvertently harming Metropolis, is forced to go through police procedure and spend a night in jail. Absolutely nobody takes the idea totally seriously, not the judge, nor the cops nor Superman himself. The whole sequence is one long gag, with Superman's Super-Strength causing him to accidentally destroy every piece of equipment the police trying to get him to use, including shattering the ink table. It culminates in Superman taking his mugshot with a big goofy grin on his face, ending with a few good-natured posterity shots with a bunch of gleeful prostitutes and thugs.
    • Fridge Brilliance: he's doing it deliberately so his fingerprints don't get into the system.
  • Later, Superman is thrown into a holding cell with a thug he'd captured earlier, under strict injunction not to use his powers. The guy takes advantage of the situation by slapping Superman, tugging on his cape, and so on, confident that he won't retaliate. And he doesn't; he just waits until the thug tries to punch him, then calmly ducks so that the man instead hits the (very large) felon standing right behind Superman.
    • In addition to another "cellmate" asking him, "What are you going to do next, spit into the wind?" (recalling the Jim Croce lyric).
    • Also recalling the Jim Croce lyric, when the jerk inadvertently punches the big guy, all his fellow inmates went "He messed with Jim".
• In "All Shook Up", an amnesiac Clark sneezes powerfully enough to knock out a cab he and Lois rode in.
  • Cat's confession to the priest ends with her hitting on the priest and him running away.
• Lex's parenting in "Vatman."
• In "The Eyes Have It," Clark has been blinded by the Villain of the Week. This leads to a scene of Superman saving a blind man, while pretending to not be blind, and then when the blind man asks to be pointed towards 56th Street, Superman just absentmindedly says "I think it's that way" and points before taking off.
  • The episode also has a blind Clark tripping off a curb and accidentally pushing a car several blocks when he tries to catch himself.
• In "Faster Than a Speeding Vixen", Lois imagines what her and Clark's already-busy lives would be like raising their children. A LOT of children. While Lois is trying to interview the Queen of England and the Pope, both whom are helping out with the babies and can't even get a word in edgewise. Clark has to leave to avert a crisis and returns holding another baby, only to leave again and so on. And each baby is named after Clark and Lois' family and friends (Clark, Lois, Jonathan, Martha, Lucy, Lana, Jimmy, Samuel, Perry, and Ellen). And one of them is developing superpowers.
  Lois: It's a piece of cake. A really big cake.
• The premise of "Season's Greedings" is that, thanks to special toy rats, the Daily Planet staff all act like greedy children, including Lois, Clark, and Jimmy. Lois cheerfully calls Lucy to tell her she's not invited to her party, and Clark and Jimmy get into a candy-eating contest, which Clark wins with Super-Speed.
  • Even when Clark is behaving like a misbehaving little kid he's still something of a goody-two-shoes, admonishing his co-workers to stay quiet while playing around and practically begging Perry to be put in charge of the toys causing the effect.
  • And when his parents show up and see him acting up... holy crap! Martha drags him away by his ear while he reacts in the most over-the-top pain imaginable. Never mess with mom!
• In one episode, Jonathan and Martha are visiting Clark at the Daily Planet. At the same time, a sleazy politician running for governor is also at the Planet. He greets Clark's parents and promises to help fund Smallville's education system. As he leaves, Martha shouts to him, "You might want to start with geography! We live in another state!"
• The Prankster causes some nice moments.
  "Jimmy, give me back my dress."
  "Now, there's something you don't hear in the newsroom every day."
• After the Arc Fatigue of the first wedding, which circled through clones, amnesia, and an alien invasion, the episode where Lois and Clark finally got married was titled "Swear to God, This Time We're Not Kidding."
• Lois' tendency to find herself swallowing her own foot in "The Green, Green Glow of Home" around the Kents. From suspecting Jonathan of being a crossdresser to thinking that Martha doesn't know what a fax machine is. Her faces just sell it.
• Everything about Tempus' bid for President, from naming himself "John Doe" to mind-controlling everyone with a phone, declaring war on the Amish who don't have phones, shoving a bodyguard out a window while proclaiming that even Reagan couldn't get away with this, and naming a convicted criminal who killed his parents at age 3 Secretary of State.
  Tempus: I am the most popular president the world has ever known! Even Reagan in his heyday couldn't have gotten away with this. [shoves bodyguard out a window]
• In "Witness," Lois mocks the idea of Clark saving her life multiple times. Poor Clark doesn't have a good answer.
• Lois has to team up with an alternate universe version of Clark. The way he changes into his costume is he steps into a closet and steps out a second later wearing it. Lois gets slightly annoyed and says she likes her version where he spins super-fast and is suddenly wearing it better.
• Lois and Clark once have to visit past lives where Clark also was a hero with a Secret Identity. In one of them, the villain learns the secret and wonders how he could let a domino mask trick him. Lois mutters "join the club".

---