- "Now you get to see what a big horny bird looks like... IN HELL!""I DESERVE THIS!"
- Satan choosing himself to be the ruler is amusing enough, but this exchange with his son is pure gold:Cassius: Dad, this is bullshit!
Satan: I don't like that language!
- Admit it, you laughed when Hitler's selection of pineapple was turned down. Either that or the fact that he was dressed in a French Maid outfit.Hitler: (grabs smallest pineapple of the bunch)
Hitler: (grabs largest pineapple of the bunch)
Hitler: You're schnerious.
- Nicky trying to siphon one of his brothers out of a polar bear. Cue him immediately dropping back to Hell.
- While asleep in Central Park, Nicky's demonic ramblings cause mayhem with the wildlife and grabs the attention of almost everyone in sight. Then...Nicky: (waking up with crossed eyes and talking in a grandmotherly voice) I will eat your heart.
(everyone screams and run for the hills)
- Nicky's first death on Earth:Jimmy: (as Nicky gets ejected back into Hell) You were gone ten seconds! What happened?!
Nicky: I got hit by this big light that was attached to a lot of metal...
Satan: That's a train, son. Don't stand in front of them.
- "Holy schnit!"
- Meanwhile, at Popeye's chicken:Nicky: GET IN THE FLASK!
Cashier: What are you talking about?
Nicky: I'm talking about an 8-piece, let's go.
- Turns out the Oz Man has no backwards subliminal messages in his music. Chicago on the other hand...Record: I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF LUCIFER TO SPREAD THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT!
Peter: Oh my god, Chicago kicks ass!
- Adrian frames Nicky by possessing the Chief of Police and circulating an incriminating video... which is just the infamous ending shootout from Scarface (1983) with Nicky's face awkwardly superimposed on top of Al Pacino's.Nicky: That's not me! It's that cockroach Tony Montana!
- Nicky "releasing the good" on the demons, which includes showing them a bunch of bunnies (one demon goes "Bunny bunny bunny!" and another tries to eat one) and then showing them a giant bucket of Popeye's chicken."Popeye's chicken is the shiznit!"
Nicky: [talking about Popeyes' chicken] What you do is put them in your mouth and let the meat slide down your throat hole.
- This little scene:
[A demon holding a bunny took a bite out of the bunny]
Nicky: NOT YOU! NOT YOU!
- The demon then sheepishly tries to put the bunny back together again.
- Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Henry Winkler... covered in bees!
- And then, when Nicky needs to do something evil:Yokel: Hey Nicky, cover Winkler in bees. You can do it!
Nicky: (looks at Henry)
Henry: (totally exasperated look, while covered in innumerable bee stings)
Nicky: ...sorry, Henry. (swarms of bees attack Henry again)
- And then, when Nicky needs to do something evil:
- Dan Marino's attempt to sell his soul for a Superbowl win, but Satan felt he's too nice a person to do that to him:Marino: You did it for Namath.
Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyway.
- Later:Nicky: You're a good Devil, Dad.
Satan: And I also happen to be a Jets fan.
- When Adrian tells the crowd that they're all going to Hell at midnight.
- "I came for the beer and the bitches!"
- "Jesus this...Moses that...Abraham hit me with a wiffle ball bat." [imitates turntable scratching]
- In a Deleted Scene, Nicky grabs the microphone for the Globetrotters game.Nicky: I get one more shot. The ref can cover me. If I miss it, the Globetrotters have to forfeit. But if I make it, this guy doesn't ref the second half and we all start conducting ourselves as decent human beings again. (beat) And we get free pizza! (cue the entire stadium cheering)
- Whitey Duvall possessed by Cassius.Whitey: Get that crap outta here!
Funny / Little Nicky