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Funny / Crisis Core

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  • "No way... he just ate my hair!"
  • Cissnei and Zack in Gongaga (regarding Zack's parents):
    Cissnei: They're worried that, after all of this, you won't be able to find a wife.
    Zack: What's up with that?
  • Early in the game, while the two are on a mission in Wutai, Angeal explains to Zack that he doesn't use the Buster Sword to avoid causing any unnecessary wear and tear. Later on, Angeal uses the sword to save Zack's life. When Zack notices this, the following exchange occurs:
    Zack: Oh. Sorry if your sword got any wear, tear, or rust on it.
    Angeal: You're a little more important than my sword, Zack... but just a little.
  • Sephiroth jerking the phone away from his ear when Zack gets excited on the other end is worth a mention.
    • And shortly after that, "Yes, Zack. For real."
    • The way that Zack said "Excellent! ... Um... Probably!" was hilarious as well.
  • The Magic Pot DMW has Zack thrusting his hands into said pot to rummage for rare items, while the Magic Pot looks to be twitching something painful. Add to that the grin and thumbs up he gives you when he grabs something, combined with the over the top 'Item Get!' pose and fanfare. To say nothing of the other Chocobo Mode DMW cut scenes, like Zack and a Chocobo strutting up to enemies before leaping up to deliver a drop kick together, or Zack clasping his hands and almost praying to the Moogle to power up his Materia.
  • Zack fighting Sahagins with a beach umbrella. That is all.
    • NOPE! Zack fighting a BEHEMOTH with a beach umbrella. THAT, is all.
  • Banora in Chapter 3: Genesis watches Zack move to run after Angeal and calmly sticks his foot out to trip him. Evil Is Petty it seems.
  • Zack gets an email from someone who is quite obviously Yuffie, recruiting him for treasure hunting. He files it under "Spam."
  • Lazard asks Zack what his dream is:
    Zack: To be a hero!
    Lazard: Good... Unattainable dreams are the best kind.
    Zack: *deflates*
  • "Uh-huh... Aaaand? And and and?!"
  • When building a flower wagon for Aerith, you can get parts for 2 extra ones: the second one is an improvement on the initial one, but the third one, which is built mostly out of Shinra parts, resembles an unholy mixture of a pram and a hot rod: when Aerith takes it for a spin, she's first confronted by Shinra scientist who wants to buy it for 10,000 Gil and turn it into a weapon (which Aerith actually briefly considers because she's poor) and then a group of Shinra soldiers that take it for a rogue robot and prepare to destroy it.
  • Some of the fan club emails hide these. The first Silver Elite email reveals Sephiroth to be kind of excessive. He uses the highest grade shampoo and conditioner made by Shinra, a whole bottle of each every time, and it has thirteen scents mixed in. Wow.
    • And there's the disturbing implication that the person in charge of the fanclub is Hojo. Which dials back into hilarious because Hojo, of all people, is going through Sephiroth's shampoo, if not the one specifically special-ordering for him.
  • If you cleared out all of the Wutai troops in Chapter 2, Lazard will applaud Zack for his efforts, and note that Zack has already become a hero. The screen then fades to black and the title appears... only for Angeal to cut in and mention that Zack still has a lot ahead of him.
  • The squatting minigame, which has the battle theme playing during it. It also can end with this gem:
    "New record set! You obtain quadriceps of steel!"
  • When Zack encounters Angeal after he's been missing and considered a traitor and asks him what he's after:
    Angeal: (completely deadpan) World Domination.
    Zack: That's not even funny man!
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  • Early on in the game, after returning from Banora, Zack can enter the training room where Hojo and a bunch of scientists are working on some "top-secret" experiment. The guard posted outside the door, however, is too afraid of SOLDIERS to physically prevent Zack from entering, and instead resorts to guilt-tripping him.
    Infantryman: The Training Room is currently under use by the Science Department for a top secret experiment. Hence, it is off limits to all other personnel. This applies you as well, Mr. SOLDIER. But I, being the coward that I am, cannot muster the courage to enforce this prohibition upon you. Hence I must call upon your conscience to decide whether you will enter or not.
    (upon being prompted again)Infantryman: I have the utmost faith in you, Mr. SOLDIER
    (and upon coming back out)Infantryman: Ohh, Mr. faith in you has been crushed...


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