- The very first page, with the cut from Eric's enthusiasm to his dead-inside reaction to having met the team."Well. I met the boys. Um. I have never been more disheartened with male hygiene in my entire 18 years of life. And the things they did to the pecan pie were felonious."
- The stories on how other people got dibs.
- Jack's Establishing Character Moment;Jack: Bittle. You need to eat more protein.Bitty looks at the screen, unimpressed, as "BITCH U DID NOT" flashes next to him
- Hockey Shit With Ransom & Holster. All of it.
- Jack decides to give Bitty checking clinics to help him with his fear, which creates quite a few in one update.Reason #17 to hate Jack Zimmermann. He woke me up. At 4AM. The skate as Faber. On a Sunday. Because Jack Zimmermann works harder than God.Bitty: It's so early I'm going to vomit.Jack: You've never seen the sun rise from a rink, eh? Thought you were a figure skating champion.Bitty: I am and I have, Captain, but Katya usually gave me fair warning before Soviet Morning Calisthenics. Which, by the way, they used to do in the Gulags.Bitty: Then how long are we going to keep doing this?Jack: *dramatically* Until you stop being scared.BeatJack: But actually there's a youth hockey tournament today, so we have to be out of here by 7.
- In the 4th update of Year 4, Bitty gets off the phone with his mother after officially telling her he's gay... And promptly Face Plants onto Jack's bed from exhaustion.
- "Jack consistently dresses like he's about to rob a Burger King."
- The varsity lacrosse captain's incomprehensible bro-speech to Bitty in 4.6, as well as the fact that seemingly every lacrosse bro is named Chad.Chad L.: Five on the beef. Brush the fuckin' narp goss and nip ched all season, bro. Ripped.Bitty: Oh... um... thank you?
Funny / Check, Please!