Funny / Check, Please!

• The very first page, with the cut from Eric's enthusiasm to his dead-inside reaction to having met the team.
  "Well. I met the boys. Um. I have never been more disheartened with male hygiene in my entire 18 years of life. And the things they did to the pecan pie were felonious."
• The stories on how other people got dibs.
• Jack's Establishing Character Moment;
  Jack: Bittle. You need to eat more protein.
  Bitty looks at the screen, unimpressed, as "BITCH U DID NOT" flashes next to him
• Hockey Shit With Ransom & Holster. All of it.
• Jack decides to give Bitty checking clinics to help him with his fear, which creates quite a few in one update.
  Reason #17 to hate Jack Zimmermann. He woke me up. At 4AM. The skate as Faber. On a Sunday. Because Jack Zimmermann works harder than God.
  Bitty: It's so early I'm going to vomit.
  Jack: You've never seen the sun rise from a rink, eh? Thought you were a figure skating champion.
  Bitty: I am and I have, Captain, but Katya usually gave me fair warning before Soviet Morning Calisthenics. Which, by the way, they used to do in the Gulags.
  Bitty: Then how long are we going to keep doing this?
  Jack: *dramatically* Until you stop being scared.
  Beat
  Jack: But actually there's a youth hockey tournament today, so we have to be out of here by 7.
• Bitty initially thinks Lardo is a guy before they meet in person due the others' stories about her. We see one in particular about a game of beer pong:
  Shitty: Right, right, so Hause rules says shots before last cup, okay? And mind this the is for the Haus Doubles Fucking Championship, okay? So it's me and Lardo but then Lardo does the 'swawesomest move—
  Ransom: Like Lardo just throws one back and like winks at me and Holtzy and just like murders our last cup with some MJ fade-away bullshit. —Then goes and burps in Holster's face for like 8 seconds.
  Holster: I was disgusted at first? But then I realized it was a show of respect.
• 3.11: After Jack and Bitty admit they're together, it's revealed they already knew that and made bets on when they'd confess.
• 3.12: Jack and Bitty ask the rest of the gang how they knew they were together. They each clam up because of the different circumstances that are... kind of embarrassing:
  • Lardo stumbled upon Bitty's notebook which was full of doodlings about Jack.
  • Shitty was crashing at Jack's place and found the post-it notes Bitty leaves for Jack's lunch on the fridge.
  • Ransom and Holster overheard Bitty talking to Jack on the phone, saying stuff you would usually find from one those corny romance couples.
  Ransom: We take this to the grave.
• In the 4th update of Year 4, Bitty gets off the phone with his mother after officially telling her he's gay... And promptly Face Plants onto Jack's bed from exhaustion.
• "Jack consistently dresses like he's about to rob a Burger King."
• The varsity lacrosse captain's incomprehensible bro-speech to Bitty in 4.6, as well as the fact that seemingly every lacrosse bro is named Chad.
  Chad L.: Five on the beef. Brush the fuckin' narp goss and nip ched all season, bro. Ripped.
  Bitty: Oh... um... thank you?
  • Ngozi provided a translation on the comic's blog:
  Chad L.: Okay, truce while we’re at the captain’s meeting. Ignore all of the gossip buzzing around, the people who are talking aren’t athletes like us. And keep up the good work on the ice. Cool.
• 4.08 where Dex finally gets tired of rooming with Nursey and decides to just move straight into the basement.
  • Then we have Haus 2.0 where the other members of the original team (minus Jack) are living together and they have a roommate who doesn't like them very first. Shitty has this to say about them:
  Shitty: Hey, not our fault! The Craigslist Ad said, and I quote: "Must be motherfucking down to motherfucking clown."
• 4.13 starts out heartwarming, with Bitty's father finally saying he accepts that Bitty's gay and dating Jack, and offers to host Jack for Christmas so they could get to know him as Bitty's boyfriend rather than a mere friend. The implication doesn't sink in for Bitty until after he leaves.
  Bitty: Oh my god. My boyfriend is meeting my parents.
• Just the look on Jack's face when he's meeting his boyfriend's parents.
• Bitty's mom is okay with her son being gay. She's not okay with her son using her sister's jam recipe.
• Bitty has been slacking on his thesis, so the rest of the team take drastic measures: they lock up and disconnect the oven and put up signs around campus instructing people not to let him bake. Jack takes a more practical approach: he tricks Bitty into TEXTING him his thesis.
  • The notes also imply that Jack got Alexei to tell Bitty to write his thesis on national television.
  • 4.23 reveals that they end up throwing a 'Finish Your Fucking Thesis' party, complete with hats and banner.
• 4.25: Bitty straight up faints when Jack proposes.