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Contains unmarked spoilers for years 1 and 2.

Samwell Men's Hockey Team

    In General 
  • Academic Athlete: All of them work just as hard on their college assignments as their hockey practice. The closest character who comes to an exception is Bitty, who constantly procrastinates on schoolwork to bake pies. Special shout-out goes to Ransom, who is pursuing a bio major in a pre-med track.
  • Everyone Can See It: The older team members had bets going over when Bitty and Jack would come out and tell them about their secret relationship. However, this was somewhat Averted, as most of the members only figured it out because Jack and Bitty were leaving evidence of their relationship left and right, like Bitty talking loudly on the phone with Jack while he thought the Haus was empty and Jack keeping Bitty's love notes on his fridge.
  • Frat Bro: A variation. Outside of Jack and Bitty, most of the other characters fit the stereotype by being hard drinking party animals. However, most of them are also Academic Athletes, are generally very open minded, and care deeply for their friends. It's implied, however, that the LAX Bros fill this trope.
  • Home Base: The Haus.
  • Hunk: Due to being college level hockey players, all of the team fit this trope, especially when they let their beards grow during roadies. Bitty is the main exception, although he's no less muscular than the rest of them.
    • There's a whole episode dedicated to discussing the superiority of hockey players' asses.
  • Odd Friendship: In any other work, the friendship of the Frat Bros with the Camp Gay Bitty might seem weird, but they are all very open minded people who absolutely adore him,as well as Bitty gaining the spot of Team Mom on the Hockey Team. Bitty actually seems to think about this early on, mentioning in his vlog how odd is for those sportsman to be liking and befriending him when he faced difficulties befriending the same kind of people back in Georgia.
  • Shipper on Deck: All of them are very supportive of and love the relationship between Jack and Bitty.
  • The Team: A literal example by way of being a competitive hockey team, but they also tend to act as a unit off the ice.
  • True Companions: "Got your back" is the team motto.

    Eric "Bitty" Bittle
Hey y'all!

The main character and the shortest member of the Samwell Men's Hockey team. Many of the comics are set up as his vlog entries, and the Twitter is portrayed as his personal Twitter account. Member of the Class of 2017.

  • 100% Adoration Rating: There's nobody who dislikes Bittle, thanks in part to his incredible baking skills and caring demeanor. Enough so that he wins the title of captain by a unanimous vote.
    • Subverted in Year 4, when he realizes Whiskey seems to hate him for some reason, and he can't stop trying to think of why.
  • Bad Liar: He is awful at creating excuses to run and stutters a lot when trying to explain somethings. Somehow, though, he gets away with it, and Ransom and Holster often believe his lies no matter how weird.
  • Badass Gay: Bittle is the quickest hockey player in the series and makes himself a vital asset to the team after getting over his fear of getting checked. He used to be a champion figure skaternote  and is still able to perform incredibly high jump-spins while wearing hockey skates. Lastly, in his senior year, he becomes captain of the hockey team by unanimous vote.
  • Berserk Button: Kent Parson. The mere mention of his name makes Bitty go into a creepy passive-aggressive state, and can even change the shape of his speech bubbles. It's enough to make him throw out a "bless your heart," which, for non-Southern tropers, basically means "fuck off and die."
  • Betty and Veronica: The Betty to Parson's Veronica and Jack's Archie.
  • Big Damn Kiss: With Jack on his graduation day.
  • Big Brother Mentor: Declares himself this for Chowder, who is somehow even more innocent and gullible than even Bitty himself.
  • Break the Cutie: Having to lie about his Secret Relationship with Jack takes a huge toll on Bitty, leaving him in a devastated emotional state that he can't explain to any of his teammates or family. He gets better after coming out to the team and Jack comes out to the Falconers, enabling the two of them to be to be as lovey-dovey as they want in front of them. However, Bitty still feels guilty about not being out to his parents.
  • Camp Gay: He's a short, skinny former figure skater who likes well-built young men, baking, and Beyoncé.
  • Clueless Dude Magnet: Extra material implies that Bitty actually has a fanbase in Samwell, and that there are a number of guys that have hit on him before. Ransom and Holster never really had to look too hard to find guys willing to take Bitty to Winter Screw. Being Oblivious to Love, though, he never realized it.
  • Catchphrase: "Hey y'all", the phrase Bitty uses to start almost all his vlogs.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: He suffered a lot of bullying for being the campy kid on a southern area, including being locked in a utility closet overnight when he was in seventh grade.
  • Fanboy: Of Beyoncé, who he loves dearly. He freaks out hard over her announcement of having twins.
  • First Love: Implied to be this to Jack.
  • Foil: Bittle and Kent are completely opposites, especially regarding their attitudes towards Jack. Bitty is warm and sweet, while Kent is far more distant and aloof. While Kent tries to reconnect with Jack, something that is clearly not working, Bittle and Jack slowly build a close relationship that gradually strengthens until they start dating.
  • Gay Guy Seeks Popular Jock: He falls for Jack, the very well desired captain of the Samwell hockey team.
  • The Glomp: After they start dating, he becomes very physical and touchy with Jack, and they hug often.
  • The Heart: The most emotional character in the main cast. He seems to become the person with whom Jack is the most open to, and he's always the one taking care of the newcomer frogs.
  • Idiot Hair: Bitty has a cute tail-like tuft of hair that sticks up on the top of his head.
  • I Need to Iron My Dog: He can't tell Ransom and Holster what kind of girl he likes because he left a pie baking. In the library. Jack realizes he's lying because Bitty would never leave a pie unattended.
  • In Touch with His Feminine Side: Loves baking and pop music.
  • Innocent Fanservice Boy: Downplayed, and it's mostly in the extra material rather than in the actual series, but Bitty is known to wear short shorts (and even booty shorts) sometimes. Ngozi playfully states in a post that Bitty's shorts are a huge distraction to Jack. This not to mention the extremely provocative bunny costume Bitty wore for the 2015 Halloween Kegster that generated a considerable amount of fanfic.
  • Love Epiphany: He realizes he likes Jack while the two of them are in the middle of preparing the final for their food seminar.
  • Love Hurts: The Reveal that he has feelings for Jack is actually quite angsty, as Bitty believes Jack is straight.
  • The Narrator: What he says on his vlog is the narration of the events of the comic.
  • Oblivious to Love: He seemingly has no clue that Jack might be flirting with him. To be fair, Jack's method of flirting is... really, really subtle. And Jack also had no clue he was flirting with Bitty.
  • Official Couple: As of Junior Year, he and Jack are officially dating.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Bitty takes pie baking very seriously, so bad moods will be reflected on the state of his pies.
    • 3.9 shows Bitty making mistakes in the ice and even dropping a pie because of the emotional breakdown he experiences from stressing about hiding his relationship with Jack from everybody.
    • After a failed attempt at coming out to his mother, Bitty leaves a pie unfinished in the counter. According to Ngozi, seeing that unfinished pie prompts Jack to prepare for the worst before going to talk to Bittle.
    • In another, happier example, the usually talkative Bitty is rendered almost speechless in 2.19 after Jack kisses him for the first time. The only words he says are "oh" and "okay".
    • Bitty goes on the warpath in 4.9 when he finds out that some of the Waffles have gone to a party rumored to involve illegal drugs.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The sensitive guy to Jack's Manly Man.
  • Sickening Sweethearts: With Jack. After they come out to the Samwell team, the two of them rack up a ton of fines for PDA and pet names.
  • Stealth Pun: Bitty's bunny costume. He's a puck bunny, which is Canadian slang for a woman who goes around sleeping with hockey players.
  • Stepford Smiler: He represses, ignores, and avoids potentially unpleasant topics like coming out to his parents or talking to Jack about Parse.
    • During year 3, there are strong implications that Bitty is insecure about the future of his relationship with Jack, believing someday he might chose his career over his relationship with Bitty, but he avoids talking about it or even showing he has these doubts.
    • In 3.9, he breaks down, sending a a voicemail to Jack about how hiding their relationship is hurting him, but before Jack can listen to it, he asks Jack to delete the message.
  • Supreme Chef: His pies are dangerously good. He even managed to bribe his way into a seniors-only seminar during his sophomore year by giving the professor one.
    • It should be noted that pies aren't the only foods he's capable of producing; Bitty is also capable of making breads and jams that the Falconers sing endless praise of.
  • Sweet Home Alabama: While he seems to prefer Samwell, he's still clearly fond of certain aspects of
his life in Georgia.
  • Team Chef: He regularly cooks for the rest of the team. Bitty referring to the Haus kitchen as "mine" and later begrudgingly correcting it to "*our... but let's be real, mine" is a Running Gag on his Twitter account.
  • Team Mom: Downplayed, but still there, especially in regards to Chowder and the other freshmen.
    • A tweet from Ngozi reveals that Bitty is Nursey's emergency contact.
  • Through His Stomach: The first good impression he made on the team was from baking everyone pies. Seems to actually be the way he introduces himself to everyone. To date, by feeding them his baking, Bitty has successfully gotten into the good graces of:
    • The entire Samwell Men's Hockey team.
    • Every successive member of SMH, due to him bringing pies to the Tadpole Tours.
    • The professor of a seniors-only history seminar.
    • The entire Falconer's hockey team.
  • Who Wears Short Shorts?: Bitty owns quite a few pairs of short shorts.

    Jack Zimmermann
Eat more protein.
The son of NHL legend "Bad Bob" Zimmermann and a former hockey star in his own right who ended up at Samwell after an overdose delayed his professional career. Member of the Class of 2015 and player for the Providence Falconers.

  • The Ace: A handsome, famous hockey prodigy, whose parents are a hockey legend and a model. Deconstructed, as the stress from everyone's expectations of him leads to Jack overdosing.
  • Adorkable: Periodically, he becomes quite awkward in certain situations and it's just sweet.
  • Badass Bisexual: A hard working and one of the best hockey player who has had relationships with both men and women in the past. Currently in a serious relationship with Bitty.
  • Betty and Veronica: The Archie to Bitty's Betty and Parson's Veronica.
  • Belated Love Epiphany: Nothing short of his own graduation, Bitty pointing out they won't see each other much, if at all, anymore, and Bad Bob reminding him via hockey metaphor that this is his last chance is enough for Jack to realize Bitty's not just a friend.
  • Bi the Way: While his sexuality isn't specified in the first years, he confesses to Bitty to have had relationships with both men and women in the past.
  • Big Damn Kiss: With Bitty on his graduation day.
  • Broken Ace: Trying to live up to the pressure of being The Ace like his father led him to anxiety, substance abuse, and eventually an overdose.
  • But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Non-villainous example, but his relationship with Kent was, from Jack's perspective, purely physical, only an extension of their hockey playing and not romantic in nature. Kent, however, is still very much hung up on Jack.
  • Canada, Eh?: Downplayed. He says "eh?" occasionally (though Bitty claims he says it "like 12-15 times a day") and is a native French speaker, but being Canadian isn't a huge part of his character.
  • Character Development: Constantly lampshaded how his time at the Haus and his relationship with Bitty made him a better person, who is better at interacting with others and relieved his anxiety.
    • To compare, he wouldn't go to parties during Year 1, he fought with Bitty constantly over several things, even screaming at him to leave the team if he couldn't handle it, his issues would also haunt him more at the time. As time goes, he gets more willing to show affection physically, is nicer to everyone, less prone to grind over issues and is even willing to come out to some of his team about Bitty. It's very noticeable he barely even smiled during Year 1, while Year 3 has him rarely ever not smiling.
  • Coming-Out Story: After 3.10, Jack and Bitty agree to come out to a lot of people, including the SMH team, Jack's parents and some of Jack's team, with 3.15 even showing Jack accepting Marty's invitation to dinner with Bitty accompanying him as his boyfriend.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: His anxiety led him to become addicted to medicine to control it, ultimately having an overdose that got him out of the draft.
  • Defrosting Ice Queen: He warms up to Bitty a lot as time goes on.
  • First Love: To Kent, who is still hung up on him. And he seems to have a mutual version of this with Bitty.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Downplayed, but during the game against Yale, in which Bittle scored the winning point and was congratulated by Bob, Jack got mad at him, telling that it was just a lucky shot, even though they were on good terms on the start of the game.
  • Has a Type: Implied. Considering his relationships with Kent and Bittle, one might think he has a thing for shorter blondes. His Winter Screw date, Camilla Collins was also blonde.
  • Icy Blue Eyes: Very pale blue, and extra noticeable because he and his mother are the only characters with pupils.
  • Malicious Slander: Some of the rumors about him are less than kind ("I heard Jack Zimmermann does so much cocaine" is a common one).
  • Married to the Job: He's perpetually single because he eats, sleeps, and breathes hockey. Year 3 reveals his breakup with Kent was something he always predicted would happen, because his career comes first.
    • Subverted in year 3, which shows that he considers his relationship with Bittle as important as hockey.
  • Mr. Fanservice: While the whole comic is filled with handsome, in-shape men, Word of God is that Jack specifically has to fulfill certain "hunk duties" such as wearing tight t-shirts.
  • No Sense of Humor: Subverted—he starts off seemingly emotionless and uptight, but as he and Bitty grow to get along better, he begins cracking more jokes. By second semester of Bitty's sophomore year, Jack is chirping him a lot.
  • Official Couple: As of Junior Year, he and Bitty are officially dating.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: The fact that the taciturn, technology-averse Jack is constantly texting, calling, and Skyping Bitty after their kiss, including being the first one to text the other immediately afterwards, shows how invested he is in their relationship.
  • Punny Name: Jack's gets called "Zimmboni" by Alexei Mashkov when he joins the Falconers.
  • Race for Your Love: His father's advice to him about going after Bitty. Lampshaded by Bitty, who points out that Jack could have just texted him.
    • After he and Bitty argue on the phone over coming out, Jack drives through the rainy night to see him.
  • Recovered Addict: He went to rehab when he was 18 after getting addicted to (and overdosing on) his anti-anxiety medication. He's recovered long before the comic starts.
  • Selective Obliviousness: His ignorance of his feelings for Bitty prior to graduation sometimes borders on this. In one extra, Jack's photography classmates and professor point out that Jack's photos feature Bitty much more prominently than the rest of the hockey team. Jack completely fails to pick up on the significance of this.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Manly Man to Bitty's Sensitive Guy.
  • Sickening Sweethearts: With Bitty.
  • Shirtless Scene: On the cover of the Check Please Huddle volume 2, he appears shirtless, holding Bittle's stuffed rabbit.
    • Also during the hazing ceremony with the frogs.
  • Sour Outside, Sad Inside: At first, he is very aggressive towards Bittle, even after all other members of the team receive him with open arms. We also learn his history very early on in the comic, so we know he is not in the best state.
  • Spell My Name with an "S": Zimmermann, not Zimmerman.
  • The Stoic: Not big on self-expression, emotional expression, or facial expression.
    • Not So Stoic: As it goes, he smiles more and becomes nicer overall. He also shows to be very disturbed after talking to Parse.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: He looks exactly like his dad did when he was young.
  • Stunned Silence: He doesn't reply after Bitty sends him a selfie of his bunny costume.
  • Team Dad: As the captain, oldest known member of the team, resident disciplinarian, and lead-by-example mentor figure, Jack hits this trope hard.
  • We Used to Be Friends: With Kent. Kent seems to want to make amends but Jack doesn't seem on board with the idea.
    Jack: Bittle, Kent and I owe each other a lot of apologies.

    B. "Shitty" Knight

Jack's best friend and a member of the Class of 2015.

  • Academic Athlete: He wanted to do a triple major but wasn't allowed. As it is, he's double-majoring in Political Science and Sexuality, Women, and Gender Studies. Not to mention he got into Harvard Law School. Downplayed a bit in that Shitty doesn't seem to excel in hockey so much as play it as a hobby, and focuses more on his academics.
  • Big Brother Instinct: He has this towards Jack sometimes. He's very protective of him, and he seems to be the one who knows the most about his issues and past.
  • The Confidant: He is the first person that Bittle ever came out to. Apparently, he is someone people often come out to – as many as five in one week during his sophomore year.
  • Cool Shades: Wears aviators a lot.
  • Did They or Didn't They?: With Lardo in Year Three.
  • Erudite Stoner: He's usually naked and stoned when not in class or playing hockey, but he's also a genius, a feminist, and a Big Brother Mentor to the rest of the Haus.
  • Hipster: Not as noticeable as Nursey, but he's still called this. He does own a floral snapback, after all.
  • The Nicknamer: He gave Ransom and Holster their current nicknames.
  • No Name Given: Neither the audience nor the other characters know what "B." stands for. Bitty thinks even Shitty doesn't know anymore.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: He's exclusively referred to as "Shitty", his hockey nickname.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: In The After Kegster, he says some things to Jack that are really out of place and aggressive even for a joke, such as telling Jack that he has no other friends besides the hockey team. When Lardo finally makes him settle down, he admits that he's just really missed his friends since starting at Harvard, and feels disconnected because he no longer knows the details of their lives.
  • Porn Stache: He's very insistent that it's this and not a pedostache.
  • Ship Tease: With Lardo.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: Prone to this. He swears a lot and talks like a bit of a bro – see his interest in "bros and sports and masculine identity and crap", or how he described the works of Toni Morrison as "some wild gravy".
  • True Companions: He is this particularly to Jack, Lardo, and, later on, Bittle. He is the first one Bittle ever comes out to, and he also watches out for Jack, knowing about his problems and helping him navigate them socially (such as helping him leave parties he's not comfortable attending).
    • He even feels legitimately offended when Bitty admits he's a little scared that the rest of the team will beat him up for being gay. He understands where the fear comes from, but is insulted that he thinks they would do that to him.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Most of the time, he is shirtless. He barely wears clothes normally.
  • Unresolved Sexual Tension: This is his and Lardo's dynamic. They both clearly like each other, but neither of them will say anything.

    Adam "Holster" Birkholtz & Justin "Ransom" Oluransi
Holster on the left, Ransom on the right.
The defensemen on the team and, members of the Class of 2016 and each other's best bros.
  • Black and Nerdy: Ransom is pre-med with a 4.0 GPA and thinks in chemical line drawings and protein folding diagrams. And happens to also be black.
  • Blind Without 'Em: Holster normally wears contacts, but occasionally his glasses make an appearance.
  • Canada, Eh?: Subverted. Ransom is first and foremost a frat bro, he just happens to be a frat bro from Toronto who plays hockey and references Canada on occasion.
  • Gentle Giant: Holster is very friendly and the tallest member of the team.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Holster is a blond Gentle Giant.
  • I See Dead People: Mandy and Jenny are apparently particularly fond of Ransom, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that he doesn't believe in ghosts.
  • No Indoor Voice: Downplayed, since it's a silent medium, but they are apparently naturally very loud and tend to yell at the TV a lot, particularly Holster. Word of God says he's extremely loud, and Holster in particular is described by many off the team as the loudest.
    • [note]Unknown varsity captain: Wait, did the loud guy with the chiclet teeth graduate yet?[/note]
  • Platonic Life-Partners: Even to the point where Ransom, not knowing what path to follow out of college, decides to follow Holster in work area.
  • Rage Quit: Holster and Jack played Settlers of Catan in the Haus once. Once.
  • Those Two Guys: Almost never seen even in separated panels in the comic.
    • Parodied as, at one point, Tater admits to be unsure who is Ransom and who is Holster, but feels embarrassed to ask.
  • Weirdness Magnet: Ransom is the sole member of the Haus that attracts supernatural elements.

    Larissa "Lardo" Duan
Wreck shit tonight.

The team manager and member of the Class of 2016.

  • Boyish Short Hair: She got "the chop" while studying abroad. She starts growing it back out during her junior year.
  • Did They or Didn't They?: In Year 3 it's implied that she and Shitty are dating or at least sleeping together, but it's never made clear. Year 4 reveals they're sharing a room in Haus 2.0, so we can safely assume they did.
  • Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Well, she does spend a lot of time with hard-drinking party guys, after all.
  • Hero of Another Story: Unlike the other main characters, she actually spends a decent chunk of her time hanging out with non-hockey people.
  • The Lad-ette: She hangs out with a huge group of guys, beating them at beer pong constantly.
  • The Lancer: To Bitty, being always around him, becoming somewhat his Foil and even his Secret Secret-Keeper.
  • Tomboy and Girly Girl: The Tomboy to Ford's Girly Girl.
  • Never Gets Drunk: She rarely seems affected by alcohol or drugs as much as the other characters.
  • One of the Boys: She's described as "the bro-iest person at Samwell under 5'5".
  • The Quiet One: She doesn't talk much, so when she does it means she has something important to say.
  • Second Episode Introduction: Though she is mentioned before her first appearance, she isn't formally introduced until the second semester of Year 1.
  • Secret Secret-Keeper: It comes across that Lardo knows there's something going on between Jack and Bitty in 3.5, when she saves Jack from Shitty heckling him about a secret girlfriend, and 3.8, when she doesn't say anything when Bitty calls Jack "honey" in front of her.
    • Played straight when Jack and Bitty finally come out to their friends (including Lardo) over brunch and it turns out they already made bets. It also tells us that Lardo found out weeks ago, the earliest of the crew, which confirms that she was keeping the secret during both of the above instances.
  • Ship Tease: With Shitty.
  • Spell My Name with an "S": Lardo is Vietnamese-American, per Word of God. However, her surname as spelled by the author does not exist in Vietnamese. The one that does is spelled Đoàn. The closest in spelling would be Duẩn, which is an exclusively male first name that is not used as a surname.
  • Unresolved Sexual Tension: She and Shitty have never acknowledged that they have feelings for each other.

    Frogs of the Class of 2018 

Chris "Chowder" Chow

The goalie, starting Bitty's sophomore year. Member of the Class of 2018.

  • The Baby of the Bunch: He is often portrayed as the naivest and most child-like character of the hockey team. It doesn't help that Bittle treats him like a little kid.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: Somehow manages to come across as this and No Brows simultaneously. They're drawn as sets of extremely spaced-out diagonal lines.
  • Can't Hold His Liquor: He gets flushed after one drink. One Natty Lite, to be specific.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: He's very quirky and gullible.
  • Fan Boy: His room and wardrobe are full of San Jose Sharks paraphernalia.
  • The Leader: Of the year 2 frogs, as he is the one that can make Nursey and Dex work together. Jack even considers this when he gives him his dibs.
  • Official Couple: With Caitlin Farmer. He is the only one on the team in a relationship for a long time, until Jack and Bittle start dating.

Derek "Nursey" Nurse

One of the new students, a.k.a. "frogs", who joins the team during Bitty's sophomore year. A defense-man partnered up with Dex. Member of the Class of 2018.

  • Ambiguously Brown: His skin is darker than most characters.
  • Connected All Along: He and Shitty were teammates at Andover together.
  • The Ditz: Is shown in the extras to be a klutz off the ice. "Nursey Patrol" had to be started at kegsters after Nursey somehow tripped his way 'up' the roof of the Haus. He breaks his wrist during a game, not by actually injuring himself in the sport, but by sitting on the unlatched gate off the ice and falling off when it swings open.
  • Foil: In great contrast to Holster and Ransom's eternal bromance, Nursey and Dex do not get along.
  • Hipster: Nursey likes poetry and has a sense of fashion. He's also explicitly called this.
  • Mellow Fellow: Very laid-back, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. His main complaint about Dex is that he's too uptight (and might be a Republican).
  • Mixed Race: Word of God says he's half-black.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: His interactions with Dex, his d-man partner.
  • With Friends Like These...: With Dex. Bitty and Chowder mediate a lot of fights between the two.

William "Dex" Poindexter

Another frog of the Class of 2018. A defense-man partnered up with Nursey.

  • Absentee Actor: Dex doesn't appear through all updates of September 2016, it sparked a lot of memes.
  • Foil: In great contrast to Holster and Ransom's eternal bromance, Nursey and Dex do not get along.
  • Mr Fix It: He's good at repairing things.
  • Redheads Are Uncool: Well, not uncool, but he's kind of socially awkward compared to his teammates.
  • Starving Student: Dex comes from a modest background, and his carefulness and anxiety about money is an ongoing issue for him. One of his complaints about Nursey is that he apparently acts underprivileged, but has the financial stability and even wealth that Dex lacks.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: His interactions with Nursey, his d-man partner.
  • With Friends Like These...: With Nursey.

    Frogs of the Class of 2019 

Connor "Whiskey"

New frog of the Class of 2019.
  • Ambiguously Gay: After busting the frogs at a party they weren't supposed to be at, Bitty catches Whiskey kissing a boy at said party. Combines with Your Cheating Heart, as Bitty mentions Whiskey's high school girlfriend.
  • Hero of Another Story: Like Lardo, he spends a good amount of his time doing non-hockey related activities, and actually has a lot of friends on the LAX team.
  • Not So Stoic: He keeps a stoic expression on his face most of the time, but starts sweating when he meets Jack for the first time.

Tony "Tango" Tangredi

New frog of the Class of 2019.
  • Adorkable: He is constantly asking questions, even obvious ones, like what's Chowder's favorite team.
  • The Baby of the Bunch: Similar to Chowder before him, he is the most child-like newbie.
  • Cassandra Truth: He points out that Bitty looks very happy when texting away from everybody. He wonders if Bitty is secretly dating someone famous. Holster says that's ridiculous.
  • Constantly Curious: Constantly asks questions about things that should be obvious.
    Tango: [standing in Chowder's Sharks-themed room] ... So what's your favorite team?
    Chowder: Um... Wow. No one's actually asked me that before.

"Foxtrot" Ford

Recruited to take over the role of team manager when Lardo graduates. Member of the Class of 2019.
  • Cute Sports Club Manager: Fits this trope much better than Lardo.
  • Drama Club: Has been a stage manager since middle school. She's currently assistant stage manager for the theater at Samwell.
  • Foreshadowing: Readers speculated at the existence of a "Foxtrot" addition to the team since Whiskey and Tango's introduction (see Theme Naming below), but Ngozi insisted that there was "no Foxtrot amongst these hockey players". Indeed, Foxtrot is not a new hockey player, but the new team manager.
  • Textile Work Is Feminine: Is shown wearing clothes she knitted herself in the extras.
  • Theme Naming: "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" spells "WTF" in NATO phonetic alphabet.
  • Tomboy and Girly Girl: Girly Girl to Lardo's Tomboy.
  • Unfazed Everyman: Barely bats an eye when Ransom and Holster declare their eternal, undying broship during her interview. Ngozi credits Ford's unfaze-ability to having spent countless hours with theater kids, who, like the SMH team, are "dramatic, loud, and unusually comfortable with nudity".

     Other SMH Members 

John Johnson the Metaphysical Goalie

The goalie during Bitty's freshman year and a member of the class of 2014. He's aware that they're in a webcomic.
  • Fourth-Wall Observer: His entire schtick. He knows they're all characters in a webcomic, assures readers he'll always just be 100 pixels out of frame, and manifests in the Haus kitchen at 2015 graduation via a Plot Hole.
    • Taken Up to Eleven as he actually seems to know Ngozi's future plans for the series; he gives Bitty unconditional dibs on his room in the Haus to make sophomore year narratively easier, and occasionally warns him when big events are coming in future updates such as the Parse three-parter.
  • From Beyond the Fourth Wall: He bought a copy of the Check Please! zine.
  • Informed Attractiveness: Parodied. He apparently made the list of Samwell's most beautiful students all four years, but the readers never see his entire face (although bits and pieces of it have shown up in various comics and extras).
  • Passing the Torch: He graduates and Chowder takes his place as goalie.

"Ollie" O'Meara & Pacer "Wicky" Wicks

Two members who joined the team the same year as Bitty. Class of 2017.
  • Bit Character: They're rarely mentioned except in passing and have no defined traits or personalities.
  • Spanner in the Works: Lardo had originally planned on giving the dibs to her room to either Ollie or Wicks. However, she finds out that Holster and Ransom had given the two of them their dibs to the attic months ago, leaving her to deal with Nursey and Dex fighting over her dibs.
  • Those Two Guys: A Running Gag is how none of the main characters can remember which one is Ollie and which one is Wicky.



     NHL Hockey Players 

Kent "Parse" Parson

A pro hockey player for the (fictional) Las Vegas Aces and Jack's former best friend.

  • The Ace: He is the captain of the Las Vegas Aces, their past show that he was second only to Jack in the draft.
  • Ambiguously Evil: The creator has stated that he's the antagonist, but not actually a bad person.
  • Betty and Veronica: The Veronica to Bitty's Betty and Jack's Archie, though there wasn't much of a competition.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He's a seemingly affable, nice guy, and most of the characters think he's great. However, some of the things he said to Jack during their argument were really brutal, and this permanently alters Bitty's view of him.
  • First Love: Subverted, as Jack claims to have never loved him.
  • Foil: He is the complete opposite of Bittle. He is aloof and distant to Jack, while Bittle is sweet and warm. While he is trying to reconnect to Jack after being best friends for so long, something that is not working, Bittle becomes continuously closer to Jack.
  • Heartbroken Badass: For all his status as The Ace of the team, he still seem to be in love with a man who never considered their relationship anything more than physical.
  • Manly Tears: On 3.7, in a flashback to Epikegster.
  • Put on a Bus: After appearing in year 2 during a kegster, he goes back to Las Vegas.
    • The Bus Came Back: He comes back in Year 3, being interviewed in the locker room about the Aces' upcoming game against Falconers.
  • Running Gag: The color of Kent's eyes always changes, and it's probably on purpose.
  • Unrequited Love: Seems to have this for Jack.
  • We Used to Be Friends: With Jack. He seems to want to make amends but Jack doesn't seem on board with the idea.
    Jack: Bittle, Kent and I owe each other a lot of apologies.

Alexei "Tater" Mashkov

A player for the Providence Falconers. A happy and funny Russian man.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: He's normally a mellow, pleasant guy, but when Parse causes a pileup on the Falconers' goalie Snowy, Tater has to be pulled away to keep him from starting a fight.
  • Big Brother Instinct: Towards Jack, after he joins the Providence Falconers. Though Tater is apparently around Jack's age,note  he still counts due to having been in the NHL longer.
  • Foil: To Jack. Both have hockey star fathers to whom they're constantly compared, but while Jack is emotionally closed off and has severe anxiety about living up to his father, Tater is warm, friendly, and content to simply try his best without being perfect.
  • Husky Russkie: He's tall, strong, willing to fight people who hurt his teammates, and yep, Russian.
  • Innocently Insensitive: He teases Jack about his "girlfriend" a couple of times, not realizing that Jack actually has a boyfriend.
  • Nice Guy: Very protective of his teammates, is a supportive friend to Jack, makes sure Bitty feels welcome at family skate, and says that being a good person is more important than being the best hockey player.
  • You No Take Candle: As Russian is his first language, his English grammar is usually a little off.


Bob "Bad Bob" & Alicia Zimmermann

Jack's parents, a legendary hockey player and his ex-model wife.
  • Always Someone Better: Jack feels like no matter what he accomplishes, Bob did it better.
  • Good Parents: They are both unfailingly supportive and loving to Jack.
  • Like Father, Like Son: Jack is heavily implied to like blondes. Bob married Alicia, a blond woman. Subtly meaning that they have the same taste.
  • Open-Minded Parent: Bob seems to be not only okay, but completely supportive about his son being in love with Bitty. Alicia, as it turns out, is very happy about her son's stable relationship.
  • Shipper on Deck: Bob tells Jack to "go really say goodbye" to Bitty. Alicia is this as well—both she and Bob are very excited to learn that Jack and Bitty are dating.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: Bob and Jack look very alike, having their eyes as the only difference.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Subverted. At first, Jack's backstory makes it sound like Bob pressured him to be great and Jack fell out of favor with him after the overdose. However, Bob is actually an extremely supportive parent, and Jack feeling inadequate next to his dad's accomplishments is because of his own anxiety.

Suzanne & Richard "Coach" Bittle

Bitty's parents.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Bitty is incredibly embarrassed by Suzanne's fangirling over the Zimmermanns.
  • Good Parents: Downplayed with Suzanne. While she and Bitty are extremely close and she makes an effort to be supportive of him, the two of them don't always communicate well. Exemplified by the scene where Bitty finally comes out to her after the Stanley Cup: she reassures him that she and Coach love him and want him to come home, but is unable to bring herself to say the word "gay" and is clearly taking a while to deal with the revelation.
  • Odd Friendship: Suzanne and Bad Bob seem to have struck up a friendship.
  • Parents as People: Coach loves Bitty, but his expectations for what his son should be are extremely different from the reality, and their relationship is very strained as a result.
  • Wanted a Gender-Conforming Child: Coach is a man's man Southern football coach who tries to get Bitty interested in football, hunting, and fishing, and is glad Bitty switched from figure skating to hockey because hockey is more "manly". Averted with Suzanne, who taught Bitty how to bake and accepts his more "feminine" interests.

Mandy and Jenny

The ghosts of two girls who died in a Theta Alpha Theta sorority rush event at the Haus in 1993. They like to pull pranks on Ransom.
  • Cute Ghost Girl: They act like totally normal college girls who happen to be 20+ years dead.
  • Ghostly Chill: One of their powers.
  • Poltergeist: They seem to be invisible (though they show up in photographs) and mostly manifest by moving Ransom's stuff around and playing 90s pop music and the Samwell fight song.
  • Those Two Guys: Exaggerated. They always appear together, so we have no idea who's Mandy and who's Jenny.

Nicholas and Jean-Claude

Two drunk Canadian scientists who provide the research backing up "Hockey Shit with Ransom and Holster".
  • The Alcoholic: They spend roughly 75% of their time drinking.
  • Canada, Eh?: One of their three known traits. Another 5% of their time is spend excessively saying "eh?".
  • Mad Scientist: Some of their research could probably label them as this.
  • Really 700 Years Old: They look exactly the same in 2006 as they did in 1944.

Example of: