Funny / Brooklyn Nine Nine Season 8

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Season 8

The Good Ones

• In the Cold Open, Rosa finds that Jake and Charles have put gloves on sticks so that they can high-five while maintaining social distancing. They spend several minutes demonstrating various high-fives. Then Rosa tells them she just quit. Jake is so surprised he hits Terry with his stick, who stumbles into Scully, who drops his coffee, which shorts out a printer, which kills the electricity for the entire building.
  Rosa: That was the best high-five.
• Hitchcock retired the second he was able to. Unfortunately, Scully is constantly facetiming with him, so he's around even more now.
  Holt: This year has been hell.
• Dark but still funny: Jake and Rosa (now a PI) decide to work a case together. Absolutely no one will talk to Jake.
  Random child: I don't talk to pigs.
  Jake: Okay. [walks off]
• Frank O'Sullivan, the corrupt police union head who defends the violent cops, goes on a rant about how he only loves three things: His ma, the police, and Billy Joel.
  • To distract O'Sullivan while Rosa gets information from his computer, Jake pretends to be a citizen reporting someone abusing a policeman; to really get him off, he also adds that they insulted the cop's mother and said that "Piano Man" was Billy Joel's only good song.

The Lake House

• In the Cold Open, Jake refers to Holt and Kevin as his daddies. Then openly admits that the entire precinct is his Family of Choice, which results in a Freudian Slip.
  Jake: This workplace is my family, is it not clear? Holt is my dad, (to Rosa) you're my mean older sister, Amy is my mom—
  Amy: WHAT?
  Jake: What? What did I say?
  Amy: You said "Amy is my mom"!
  Jake: Nobody said anything!
  • And later, when Amy agrees with Terry's plan to accompany Holt to his Lake House for birdwatching, instead of going along with Jake's plan of Parent Trapping Kevin and Holt
    Jake: Wow, stabbed in the back by my own mom.
    Amy: WHAT?!
    Jake: WIFE! I said wife! Why do you keep not hearing me? Whatever! Let's just do Terry's plan!
• Of course Holt and Kevin's "lake house" isn't near a lake. They named it that after its previous owner, an obscure scholar named Lake.
• Holt shows the guys around the house. There's the sitting room; the TV room (only they removed the TV and made it another sitting room); and finally, the master sitting room.
• Terry wants to be involved with Jake's scheme, but doesn't want to get blamed if it goes wrong, so he spends the whole episode "hedging," disparaging Jake in public while working with him in private.
• One of Terry's excuses for going off to meet with Jake is to call him incompetent and tell Charles that the only reason he and Holt haven't fired him is because they're worried he'll kill himself.
  Jake: …Seems a little excessive.
• Terry volunteers to run back to the house to get Kevin an epi pen.
  Terry: I haven't done cardio in twenty years. How hard can it be? [starts running] It's immediately awful!
• Rosa takes a pot edible before going on the trip and spends the whole episode high as a kite. She ends up bonding with Scully and taking part in a ranking of potato chip brands. Once she sobers up at the end, she realizes she agreed to join Scully and Hitchcock on a trip.
  Rosa: Amy was right. Drugs are bad.
• Boyle offering Amy his nip tips — tips that nip problems in the bud. When she suggests just calling them tips, Boyle is confused.
  Boyle: Just the tips?
• Holt using the Pantone color system to describe the rare bird to a blinded Kevin.

Blue Flu

• To deal with the shortage of staff at the Nine-Nine, Amy asks other precincts to send additional personnel to help out. Unfortunately, they get sent their "Hitchcocks and Scullys." Bonus points for them looking just like Hitchcock and Scully.
  • Amy hands the Hitchcocks and Scullys step trackers to make sure they're working their beats. It appears to be successful, until Scully points out the obvious workaround. Cut to the whole lot sitting on massage chairs to cheat the trackers.

Balancing

• Jake is excited that his archnemesis has returned, while Terry is dismissive.
  Jake: This is why you don't have an arch nemesis, Terry, because you focus on all the wrong details.
  Terry: Maybe, I don't have an archnemesis because I solve all my cases. [smiles smugly]
  [beat]
  [beat]
  [beat]
  Jake: That's a pretty f[beep]ed up thing to say to me.
• Amy mentions being slightly worried that Mac hasn't started pulling himself up yet, since he's ten months old and it typically occurs within 9-12 months. She isn't that worried, though... which she proves with a sixteen minute rant on the subject. Jake's "oh god let this be over" face makes it perfect.
• Throughout the episode, Jake is too busy with Mac to deal with his archnemesis, so Boyle has to handle it. He keeps telling Jake about the awesome adventures he's having, with puzzles, and riddles, and all culminating in a cat-and-mouse chase through some sort of underground tunnel system. Jake is dying inside every time he hears about any of it.
  Boyle: ...I mean, it wasn't that cool.
• To get rid of the lice they caught from Mac, Jake and Amy put maple syrup on their hair. It works, but now they have to deal with ants on their bed.

PB&J

• Trudy brings along her dog, who, judging from all the pixelation, is tremendously well endowed.
  Jake: It's like a third of him!
• Jake bought himself and Doug Judy matching tiger-and-toucan outfits. "Tigers and toucs!"
• Doug Judy's least favorite food? Meringue. "It looks better than it tastes! It's a trick food!"

The Set Up

• Jake is upset that he is losing a Speed case. Rosa is actually sympathetic, because one of her last cases at the department was supposed to be a Sister Act, only for it to get canceled right after she got onto the choir.
  Jake: Wait, is that the real reason you quit the force?
  Rosa: It didn't help.
• In an attempt to ingratiate himself to the FBI, Jake pretends to have a good rapport with an Officer named Marzipan. As the episode goes on, more and more about Marzipan is revealed, leaving Jake deeply upset that he pretended to be friends with him. First, it's revealed that he's a Dirty Cop and that multiple people in the NYPD are actively trying to get him fired, and that he has fourteen pending Internal Affairs investigations against him. Then, it's revealed that his full name is "David Duke Marzipan." ^{Explanation for those who need it} David Duke is a White Supremacist/Neo-Nazi/Former member of the Ku Klux Klan who famously endorsed Donald Trump during his 2016 presidential campaign To make matters even worse, he apparently changed his name to David Duke.
  Jake: David Duke Marzipan?!
  O'Sullivan: Hey, don't you go profiling him for what he changed his name to, you can't judge a book by its cover!
  Jake: You can if it's written by David Duke!
• Three words: Nine Drink Amy.
• It's revealed through flashbacks that O'Sullivan tried to blackmail both Holt and Rosa by releasing proof that they were gay and bisexual, respectively. He was extremely disappointed that they were both already out.
  O'Sullivan: Oh, come on! You can't blackmail anyone anymore!
  • As one fan pointed out online, the sheer amount of Failed a Spot Check that was necessary for O'Sullivan to somehow make it that far without ever realizing Holt and Rosa are already out - it's not surprising word about Rosa's sexuality wouldn't have left the main cast, but Holt has been out for decades and is literally sitting in his office with a miniature pride flag on his desk when O'Sullivan is making his threat.
• A very hammered Amy has the brilliant idea to have Rosa take her place, dressing in her clothes, assuming that O'Sullivan wouldn't be able to tell the difference because he most likely thinks everyone like them looks the same. Having no other choice since Amy immediately slumps to the floor after that, Rosa takes her place... and also proceeds to get very drunk. She and Amy proceed to change places to give the other a chance to sober up each time they get drunk, but eventually they get so drunk they end up sitting in the booth at the same time.
  Amy: (to O'Sullivan) Uh... you're really drunk and you're seeing double?
• When Jake is admitting he made a mistake and arrested an innocent man, O'Sullivan is reduced to sticking his fingers in his ears and yelling "lalalala".

Game of Boyles

• More disturbing details about the Boyle family.
  • They raise nutrias for their milk. Terry sees one and thinks it's a giant rat.
  • Pappy Boyle won the biggest settlement in New York history by suing the city for getting his hand stuck on a subway door and dragged along.
  • The Boyles hug so hard it actually reshapes their bones.
  • It's revealed that Boyles normally don't go through puberty until twenty-five years old. the fact that Charles hit puberty at 13 was a major piece of evidence that he's not genetically a Boyle.
• Jake sets up an interrogation room, but the only chairs available are rocking chairs.
• Amy and Rosa set Holt up on a dating site, where the swiping options are "Dang" to reject and "Daaaang!" to accept. Holt is understandably confused.
• After finding out that Charles isn't a Boyle by blood, the following exchange occurs between Jake and Terry:
  Terry: We can't tell Charles.
  Jake: You want to lie to our dear friend about the one thing that's most important to him in the whole world?
  Terry: ... (reluctantly) Yes.
  Jake: (relieved) Okay, Good. Me too.
• Amy and Rosa watch Holt and Kevin reconcile and kiss in the rain... and Scully is suddenly there with them, presumably having watched the whole thing from offscreen.
• Charles finally proves himself a true Boyle by opening the jar with the family sourdough starter, which has been stuck closed for years. The victory is undercut when Terry and Jake recoil from the smell, while the Boyles think it smells heavenly.
  Jake: Oh, God, it's cutting through the smell of the corpse!

Renewal

• The battle of wills between Rosa and... Cheddar.
• Amy is so upset about Holt retiring Terry has to carry her. After she reconciles with it, she still asks Terry to carry her because it's comforting.
• Jake keeps investing on NFTs and cryptocurrency. Every time he looks up his investment he whines that it's tanking.
• Holt explains that he regularly purges what he considers useless information from his memory, like phone numbers or people's children's names. Jake remarks that surely his son is an exception to that. Cue a montage of Holt referring to Mac as "the little guy".

The Last Day

• The opening as Jake pops up in each unit member's house without warning to yell "Heist Day!"
  • That includes sticking Boyles' son in a closet to hide in his bed.
  • Terry's wake up alarm is a recording of him saying "Terry loves to wake up!"
  • Jake is confused to see Amy coming out of the bathroom as "who's in the shower." Of course, it's Holt (in full uniform, with the shower on) to talk Heist Day and they all laugh.
• Jake begins by saying "we've never had a two-time winner..." When Rosa states she's won three times, Jake, Amy and Holt all scream at her.
• When Amy asks why the Brooklyn Bridge, where Jake is planning to lead the crew at the end of the heist, is so important to the Nine-Nine, there's a shot from the show opening of the gang power walking in front of the bridge.
  Jake: I don't know why we were so intense. We were just going for falafels.
  Amy: Those were awesome falafels, though.
• It's revealed that Jake tried to recreate the "I Want It That Way" criminal lineup, and always failed to capture the original.
• We finally find out what Holt's tattoo is: Kevin's head on Cheddar's body. The gang's reactions say it all.
• Of course, Gina has to wear a shirt saying "Surprise Reveal" while laughing.
  • As well as other shirts reading "Another Surprise Reveal", "Yet Another Surprise Reveal", and so on. They seem to change on every other shot.
• Jake reveals he had a tracking device put in Charles eight years ago when he was having bullets removed from his rear end.
  Amy: Smart, sticking it in his butt holes.
  Jake: Oh, I was expecting more judgment from you. And different phrasing.
• Rosa's response to Amy getting trapped by a seatbelt that Rosa rigged:
  Rosa: That's what you get for being a nerd who wears seatbelts. Cool people die gruesome, preventable deaths.
• One of the clues lead the team to the grave of Madeline Wuntch. It's decorated with a balloon arch, but it wasn't Jake who put it there; Holt has a new one put in every week.
  • Holt immediately suggests digging her up, which Amy naturally objects to. This leads to one last Wuntch zinger:
    Holt: Why, are you scared of what she'll look like? She's just a corpse with worms for eyes! No different from when she was alive.
• Pimento is headed to Canada to help a diamond mine there that has a wolf problem. He plans to infiltrate the pack, kill and replace the alpha male, then he and the pack will betray his clients and thrash the mine.
• Jake keeps suggesting that Terry can break through walls like the Kool-Aid Man, noting that both have the "exact same build and personality." Later, when the entire gang is locked in a room, Terry confesses that he totally can break through walls, he just resents that they think his muscles are all there is to him. And then he demonstrates.
• The ending plays out like a Stock Sitcom Grand Finale, up until Jake turns out the lights... and Terry scolds him for turning the lights off on an active police precinct.
• The final scene has Jake, Amy, Holt, and Rosa return to the precinct one year later to have one more heist. Because they did not want Hitchcock to be the "final winner". Which even Hitchcock agrees with.