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Funny / Age of Empires II

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  • "Pope and Antipope"
    "In Rome, the Pope firmly believed that it was the Church, not the Emperor, who was the ultimate authority for the Empire. Barbarossa could not convince the pope to see things his way, so he appointed his own Pope. This, too, was not enough, for both Pope and Antipope promptly excommunicated each other. [cut to the Pope shouting at the Antipope while Barbarossa stares upwards with an exasperated look] Again Barbarossa had to resort to politics at the point of a lance. If the Pope would not listen to reason, then perhaps he would concede with two thousand German knights pouring down the Italian peninsula."
    • When Henry the Lion betrayed Barbarossa again, his declaration to Barbarossa sounds more apologetic than a usurper is supposed to be.
      "Barbarossa, I do hate to strike you when you are down, but the Lombard League have agreed that I would be a better emperor. So sorry."
  • Computer-controlled enemy players give bizarre and unconvincing excuses in a comically antiquated manner when defeated and abdicate. Apparently The Battle Didn't Count to them. Some choice messages:
    AI: My townsfolk began too close to mine kingdom's Town Center.
    AI: Zounds! I couldst not build a Wonder in the Dark Age!
    AI: Thou art human, with soul and wit. I am naught but clockwork!
    AI: Odsblood! I accidentally resigned by mistake.


  • After posting the Top 5 Worst Civilizations which rated the Turks as #1 Worst for random 1v1 matches, thousands of players who picked the Turks as their main Civ got really salty and raged at ZeroEmpires for what they considered an "unfair" summary. ZeroEmpires took it all in stride by "apologizing" and "reevaluating" the Turks as the best Civ in the game.note 
  • 4 VS 4 Goths on Tiny. Not only is it hilarious, exciting, ridiculous, fast-paced, and intense, but it's also an accurate representation of medieval warfare.
  • Another YouTuber named "Spirit of the Law" frequently pokes fun at the Saracens' team bonus during his civilization overview series. note 
    "Saracens, you call that a team bonus? That's adorable, get outta here."
    • In regards to the Saracens' team bonus, he pulled a Pet the Dog moment when he did the Chinese civilization overview in regards to the Saracens' team bonus having strong synergy with the Chinese Chu Ko Nu. Plus, in no more than five minutes later in that same video, he went back to poking fun of that team bonus for unable help Chinese scorpion to win a scorpion fight.
      "Good job Saracens! You did a thing."
    • This trailer made by the same YouTuber shows how badass the Spanish's Unique Tech "Supremacy" is. Why is it not a movie yet?
  • There have been several user created Random Maps and mods that are seen as incredibly hilarious. For starters, the "Forest Nothing" map is a random map where the map is 100% covered in Forest and no other resources, leading to massive Gradual Grinder games, or "Relic Nothing" games where there are literally no resources in the map and you need to "gather" relics in the map and use your Market to get the resources you need. There is also a humorous mod where you can research all the techs 256 times, where you can have archers snipe Castles across the map or have something like the Ethiopian Siege Onagers with Torsion Engines note  nuke nearly 75% of the map.


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