Follow TV Tropes

Following

Funny / Abbott Elementary

Go To

Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.


  • Basically anything and everything that Ava Coleman says or does.
    • "Desking": Her questioning Jacob when she and the rest of the staff learn that he has a boyfriend.
    Ava: So he knew you and was like... mooore.
    • Later when everyone is surprised to see Zach being able to get Jacob to stop rambling and focus.
    Melissa: Did he just stop Jacob from being himself?
    Ava: Can we put him in glass and break in case of emergency?
    • "Wrong Delivery": She and Courtney share some words before their Shark Tank show can begin.
    Ava: Thanks for being here Courtney. I think of you like a young me.
    Courtney: I think of you like an old me.
    Ava (while smiling): This ain't "A Star is Born" I'll shut your tiny ass down.
    • "Fundraiser": Ava teaches the kids under her care how to scam potential customers. One lesson involves people in need of change.
    Ava: Some people may ask for change, but those people aren't Sam Cooke so change is not gonna come.
    • "Teacher's Conference": Ava reveals that she took on Janine's name while staying at the hotel and took full advantage of the hotel's expensive luxuries. She then gives a lackluster impression of Janine just for the sake of it.
    • In The Stinger, Ava falsely accuses Jacob of having a fling with a woman teacher during the convention.
    Jacob: I feel compelled to remind you that I am gay.
    Ava: That's bisexual erasure. I expected better from you.
    • "Teacher Appreciation": Barbara thanking Jesus after Ava reveals that one lucky teacher will get tickets to '79ers game.
    Barbara (to Jesus): Thank you! You came through again!
    Ava: Who are you pointing at? I'm right here! Don't give Jesus my credit!
  • In "Read-A-Thon," which features Janine and Melissa starting a bet over whose class can win in the titular reading contest.
    • The fact that both Janine and Melissa consider making the loser the guest on Jacob's podcast a wager just as high stakes as potentially having to streak at a professional basketball game.
    • Barbara admits that she never liked Ms. Frizzle because of her kooky outfits and her overzealous "can-do" attitude. Guess who fits that description.
    • At one point, some of Melissa's best readers get sent home sick and Janine takes a minute to gloat.
    Janine: You're pizza's cooked Schemmenti. I do genuinely hope your kids feel better, but you're done.
    Melissa: You know what Janine-
    Janine: "OH OH OH OH You want to talk about pink eye, I'm gonna give you a black eye! Ya gabortz!" (Barb and Melissa both look mildly shocked) Yeah, it was gonna be something like that, right? (Janine instantly can tell she's pushed this far as she can and turns around and runs back to her classroom)
  • The F.A.D.E. presentation in "Smoking" goes From Bad to Worse in record time, starting with a rapping, dancing presenter who is dumber than Tariq, and ending with a Q&A session in which a kid is informed his mom has herpes. The reactions of the kids and teachers alike are gold.
    Ava: [to the presenter] Lady, are you high?!
  • Also from "Smoking", the scene in the teacher's lounge where all the main characters out each other's substance use. Gregory is the only person to out himself, admitting he does use pot—but only occasionally, on weekends, in edibles. Specifically, protein bars. Ava complains he managed to make drugs boring.
    Jacob: Janine smokes weed every day!
    [Cue stunned/horrified reactions.]
    Janine: Not every day! Every night.
    [Cue MORE stunned/horrified reactions.]
    Mr. Johnson: That's why you're feet are so big!
  • Then there's some of the exchanges after word about the teachers' habits spreads to the students.
    Kindergarten girl (while Barbara is drinking her coffee mug): Mrs. Howard, is that pinot grigio?!
    Janine: Hi!
    Passing student: I bet you are.

Top