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Film / Cáca Milis

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A chance encounter on a train between a young woman and a blind man. She wants to read her book, he wants to chat. She realises that he won't leave her alone. She starts to get annoyed...

Cáca Milis (Gaeilge: The Cake) is a 2001 Irish short directed by unknown Irish director Jennifer Keegan, produced by barely-known actor and writer Bryan Lynch and starring barely known Irish actress Charlotte Bradley (Queen Maeve in The Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nóg) as well as unknown Irish actors Eithne McGuiness, Phyllis Ryan and Ciabhán Ó Murchú.

Oh, and Brendan Motherfucking Gleeson, bitch.

The whole movie is in Irish and mainly concerns two characters, Catherine (Bradley) and Paul (Gleeson).

After leaving her mother in the care of a nurse, Catherine gets on a train to an undisclosed location. Initially sitting alone reading an erotic novel, she is joined by the blind, asthmatic Paul. His noisiness and eagerness to chat annoys her as she's trying to read the novel and she refuses to help Paul do any of the things he has difficulty with.


After ruining one of the few things Paul was proud of (knowing his train route off by heart), Catherine deliberately causes an asthma attack, then holds his inhaler out of reach until he dies. She gets off at her stop.

The short has lots of humour, up until the point where Catherine starts torturing Paul. It can be viewed in its entirety here.

This movie contains examples of:

  • Break the Cutie: Paul is friendly and a little juvenile, in a cute way. He's very proud of having memorised the entire train route; even Catherine seems a bit impressed. Then she pretends he got it wrong, confusing and distressing Paul. He's noticeably less jolly after that point.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Catherine essentially kills Paul for being friendly.
  • Hates Small Talk: Catherine makes little suggestions to Paul that she doesn't want to talk to him at all about inane subjects, all of which fly right over his head.
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  • I Ate WHAT?!: Paul's reaction when Catherine tells him that there's a worm in his cake. It's what ultimately kills him: he has an asthma attack and Catherine pushes his inhaler out of reach.
  • Inspirationally Disadvantaged: Paul was invited to a radio program for this very reason, being both blind and having a severe form of asthma.
  • Lean and Mean: Catherine. Very, very, very mean.
  • Mills and Boon Prose: From the few glimpses we get, the trashy romance novel that Catherine is reading is written in this way, especially the sex scenes.
  • Mood Whiplash: It starts off pretty funny, with Paul's antics and the occasional glimpse of the content of Catherine's "love story". Then she tortures him by denying him the one thing of which he was proud and later gives him a fatal asthma attack.
  • Motor Mouth: Lampshaded by Paul, which endeared him to the radio hosts mentioned above. It's a trait which Catherine finds very annoying.
  • Sweet Tooth: Paul certainly likes his cake, and puts 4 sugars into his puny cup of coffee.


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