Kyon: Big Damn Hero

• Textile Work Is Feminine: Can you guess which one of the girls made a hand-knitted scarf for Kyon's birthday? It was Haruhi. She gets extra kudos for Romance Genre Savviness by making the scarf long enough for Kyon to easily share it with someone else.

Kuyou looks so cute. Can anybody, who has better Japanese knowledge than me, tell me what she's saying?

Now I want to post it, but since I am such a newfag I have to ask, should I post it here or somewhere else and then link it here?

On Michikyuu Kanae's home world, when she was ten years old, a cataclysm had torn a hole in the sky. Strange sleek metallic things had rained down upon the city in her hometown, hatching into gracefully curved reflective metal creatures, no two quite alike, but all very spindly. All very fast, and quite dangerous.

Beyond the World, Behind the Scenes

The room's layout was that of a rectangle. On the right and left sides, a few cupboards were lined in front of plain walls. The front side beared a door, while almost the whole back was window. Light shined through them, however one could see only white when looking through them.

Because there was nothing see outside.

The room was spartan. Aside from the aforementioned, only a long table with a smaller, square table on its end and six chairs were wound up in it. It would only take a few looks for a knowing person to recognize that this room was the room of the literature club, however the one before the being known as Haruhi Suzumiya entered the stage.

A lone person sat on one of the chairs. Although, it was hard to call her a person. While she was in fact humanoid, she was by far no human.

To say it shortly, she was a witch. The cruellest of them all.

She took another sip of her tea and kept looking at the chair that stood opposite of her. It was still empty, and if things were going as she expected, it would stay that way for some time.

A voice interrupted the emptiness.

"Bern! Bern!"

A swarm of golden butterflies emerged from nothing and the figure of a small girl appeared in the room. She, too, wasn't a human girl, but a witch.

Lambdadelta, Witch of Certainty, ran up to her friend Bernkastel, bearing the child-like excitement she was known for, grabbing her arm and shaking it to get her attention

"Is it true, what I heard from Dlanor? That you started a new set of games?"

The witch of miracles did not feel the need to answer immediately, instead she took another sip of her tea. Then she slowly turned her head to Lambdadelta.

"Yes, you heard right."

The eyes on Lambdadelta's face grew even bigger.

"Tell me, Tell me." she repeated while still shaking the arm.

"Of course. But my opponent is currently not here. She is in another fragment, preparing her next move."

"Fragment? She is a voyager witch?"

"Yes. And the game that we play is only one that voyager witches can play. It is nice to see you, because our game is currently in a bit of a... twist."

She paused. "You see, every of our games rounds begin with the random selection of a fragment, which we then will use for the game. But, when I got my current one..."

"What?"

"A miracle happened."

Both witches were silent for a while. After all, it was Bernkastel's power to know that miracles don't exist.

"The fragment I got was set to June, 1983..."

"You don't mean-?"

"Yes. It was a leftover of Auaurora's game. I was surprised myself that such a thing existed. Even Auaurora's little 'God' creature was there."

In Bernkastel, something like sadness, or maybe was it nostalgia, seemed to arise, but Lambdadelta's presence quickly made her suppress these feeling. She was not supposed to feel like this.

"But I decided to not look in a gift horse's mouth and make good use of it. The first thing I did was taking a part of me and injecting it into this world Furude Rika. That part of me originally had died in her fragment long ago but now she believes to be the one true Furude Rika, while in fact that person lives in a whole other fragment. Then, I decided to... speed things up a little. Without your certainty, Rule Y was annulled. The result was simple – she escaped her cycle- and grew up with all her friends alive. She is married and currently has two children."

"Ah, yes.." Lambdadelta muttered knowingly. "Kizuna and Seiji."

"Matsuri and Shutaru.", Bernkastel corrected "We are not playing that game of yours."

"Ohh? I understand. But,... the Bernkastel I know wouldn't do such a thing. She would destroy that Rika's life until she would be stratified."

"There are two reasons I haven't done that. Number 1: I was tired of playing the bad guy. It was fun in Battler's game, but I needed a change of scene. Always the same mechanics would be boring, and you know how much I hate boredom."

She took another sip of her tea until the cup was empty and placed it on the table in front of to her. Then she laid her arms on her lap, eyes still locked on the empty chair.

"Number 2: If I really did that, I'd lose against her. And I am not going to lose."

"Ohh, explain me the details. It is interesting to see the Bern I love as a good guy."

Bernkastel smiled to herself, and without any change of body movement, the scene around them changed. Both witches now stood in a bedroom. A girl, a human this time, was sitting on a stool writing in a notebook.

Of course, she didn't notice the witches suddenly appearing in her bedroom.

No human would.

"Bern, who is this girl?" Lambdadelta asked examining her from all sides, but then resigning to the fact she was actually pretty normal.

"She is my piece, lovely donated by my opponent. Although she is not aware of it, she holds every power of a voyager witch, but she only ever uses teleportation, and even this is a new discovered power for her. Every one of our games begins with her being placed in a new fragment. From then on it is my duty to make her, through coincidences or miracles alike, strong and supplied with allies enough, to withstand my opponent's pieces. However, all previous fragments were useless, even with my powers. The game we play is not one of illusions and brainpower. Red and blue truths won't do anything here. It is an endurance test and this time, we have to rely on our pieces' ability to make strong allies."

The scene changed again. The witches were surrounded by frozen time, this time in a forest. A lone person was fighting against things that Lambdadelta could only imagine were the product of Science-Fiction, a genre she herself has never touched upon at all.

"These metal constructs, for all intents and purposes, serve as her furniture. They are very powerful, more so than these goats. And the boy that fights them is my pieces' ally. She had met him in various previous fragments, but he was never that kind of person. It is all through my miracle."

"Why?" asked Lambdadelta.

"His name is 'Kyon'. It is not his real name, but I somehow like it. In this fragment, Keiichi has a sister, something he does in no other fragment. Remember when, sometimes, very rarely, a person or even a group of persons, that normally would have nothing to do there, would enter the game board of 1983 and be caught up in the game? They were exceptions. Things that were not supposed to happen. If I were to compare it to a machine, they would be called 'bugs'. Maebara Akane, his mother, too, is such an bug."

Lambadelta felt even more interested and sat down at one of the chairs next to Bernkastel, after the two of them had returned to their place.

"This game is going well for me, unlike the previous. In each of the previous games, my piece would fail at getting the right preparations done. First her 'furniture' would come, then her two pieces, and sometimes she even would confront the piece formed in her countenance herself, to utterly dismay her. I managed to save her each time, however sometimes I would have failed if not for fact that her pieces seem to rebel. This game already cost her one of her pieces, and that gives her great trouble. If her other piece were to deflect to me, as impossible as that may seem,..."

"Then you will win..." Lambdadelta concluded, obviously knowing the answer.

Bern smiled. It was beyond an good or evil smile. It was one of pure joy.

"Yes. For now I will relax and leave my piece and her allies alone. The only thing I can do is wait and drink tea."

She refilled her cup alone and took a sip. Her smile vanished- it was replaced by utter seriousness and disdain.

"And hope that my opponent, the despicable Witch of Paths, never returns to this room."

The seat had stayed empty the entire time.

Let's just hope it's not true (...)