That's an AWFUL movie adaptation!

So, after coming across this article, I thought of a game. Here's how it goes: I'll start with something to adapt (a game, a nonfiction book, whatever). It should be something that should NOT be adapted. Whoever responds comes up with either a poster tagline or short premise for the adaptation. Then they choose the next adaptation, and so on and so forth.

Let's begin.

SCRABBLE

Vowels will save your life.

The dictionary.

The seedy underbelly of the harrowing decision-making process the Oxford Dictionary goes through each year of updating. See the corruption, the drama and a full onscreen reading of every entry in the current dictionary. Don't miss this cinema epic.

Rand McNally Atlas of the World

edited 8th Dec '12 9:09:43 PM by SR3NORMANDY

This summer, adventure is global.

Everybody Poops

Turns out the zebra did it.

In a futuristic world where defecating is considered unnatural, a man must overcome his shame of using the bathroom.

Rubik's Cube

This summer... changing the stickers doesn't count.

Microsoft Excel.

A cop is given a Rubik's Cube, and told that if he doesn't solve it in one hour, a plane full of supermodels will die. The cop is colorblind, but his partner isn't. And here's the big twist: His partner's a DOG!

Excel gains rampant popularity worldwide thanks to Subliminal Advertising.

We Will Rock You

They make it into a bombastic sports underdog musical for the sake of ending i out with We Are the Champions. This film being bombastic kind of defeats the purpose of such films, and the use is kind of a disservice to Queen.

Oh... So TIL there's a theatre production by this name. Well... I guess nothing much except they'll try adding an Oscar Bait song that tries, but ultimately fails to capture the essence of Queen.

Green Eggs and Ham (live-action)

edited 26th Jun '17 8:54:19 PM by GrafVonTirol

Sam-I-Am is played by a comedian (whose popularity is slipping) in a plot with extremely uneccessary Adaptation Expansion and characterizations that make no sense. The mouse and the fox are played by musicians who rap at the drop of a hat, the Aesop is botched, Toilet Humor and pop-culture references run rampant, all the effort clearly went into making the food look nice (to middling results), and Not-Sam has a completely unfitting actor for his role chosen only for their star-power. The only positive aspect is considered to be the performance of Sam-I-Am's actor.

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, also as a live-action movie.

Turns out that the mouses was used in some advertising scheme and there was a bunch of product placements.

Next is a math textbook

A meaningless movie taking place exactly where it says.

Monopoly

edited 26th Jun '17 9:21:17 PM by AmourMitts

First contact is made, but communication is impossible. In a last-ditch effort to bridge the linguistic gap, Earth's best mathematicians attempt to use the basic laws of mathematics as a common ground.

A businessman who lost his fortune is forced to use his wits and investing skills to claw his way back up and bankrupt the man who bought out his company.

Wikipedia

edited 26th Jun '17 9:23:07 PM by ZeroL

A bunch of people have to fix The Core by finding every Wiki article.

It's very boring and slow.

Undertale (animated)

It becomes an evidence that anime is real.

Pong

The epic battle for the fate of existence is between two ALIEN SHIPS, which are paddles.

And the ball is the Earth.

LazyTown

DO SPORTS OR ELSE shown on the screen over and over...

Marble Blast Gold

A kid just creates marble courses out of legos for an hour and a half.

2017 NBA Playoffs.

In the Sports Wars of 2017, a lone soldier must fight his way to victory via sports.

Reposting because I didn't get a related answer:

Undertale (animated). NOT ANIME. No copput responses, please.

The movie is slightly different from the game, and, due to the various endings, has many, many disks.

Good luck trying to watch them all at a theater!

And good luck purchasing them all!

Also, the CGI comes outta nowhere in the final fights.

My Immortal

It's to Harry Potter what Fifty Shades of Grey is to Twilight, but without the sequel. It flopped because of the many haters of goth culture.

Team Fortress 2 (animated). Again, not in the sense of anime, and no copout responses please.

There is a lot of Bowdlerization to make it PG-13, and most of the actors are washed-up folks doing it only for a quick buck. While considered So Bad, It's Good, the original fanfic is still considered better.

The film is an In Name Only adaptation not focusing on what the characters normally do, and the characterizations are either botched or Bowdlerized (in the case of the Demoman). The fanbase rejects the movie on sight.

Yoshi's Island, the live-action/CGI hybrid film.

edited 27th Jun '17 8:37:41 AM by kablammin45

Yoshi is now a photo-realistic Tyrannosaurus Rex with a long tongue. Not so cute anymore I guess?

Girls' Frontline

This is a Chinese animated movie that stars a T-Doll based on a machine gun that gets ridiculed by the other representations of guns for firing way too many bullets and has to find a witch doctor that will change her to another gun representation.

Yeah, it's that kind of movie.

Riddle School (animated). Again, no copout responses, and it isn't an anime.

edited 27th Jun '17 9:21:47 AM by TalesofUnder

Just a regular school movie. Nothing To See Here.

Hideo Kojima