The strangest thing you've said today...

"Tenno heika! BANZAI!!!"

( Shouted over PA system in local Walmart. Hilarity Ensues )

"What shall I do with these rods?"

Maybe Ohio is the time for big goats.

"I swear to god if your phone rings one more time I'm going to take it out back and proceed to reenact the funerary pyre scene from the Return of the King with it as the crazy old guy."

I actually still have that fave sile...

"He grows. In a pose?.....Oh noes!"

"Unless I grow a third leg out of my vagina, I don't think that'll be happening."

"YOU THERE! Give me your soul! I demand it! FOR THE EMPEROR!" (Knife rampage in Battlefield 4)

"You get a nuke, he gets a nuke, EVERYBODY gets a nuke! (A normal round of Civilization 5, by my standards)

" [In the voice of Buffalo Bill ] Would you text me? I'd text me hard." (Said to a friend over voicemail)

edited 1st Aug '14 3:19:19 PM by ZeroDarkFlirty

"Clesh flajamas"

This was an attempt to say "fresh pajamas" gone horribly wrong.

edited 1st Aug '14 3:39:33 PM by Ozbourne

(In a Mr. Torgue voice) "THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE ART OF EXPLOSIONS!" (When I picked up an Engineer kit with a full rocket launcher and an enemy tank just around the corner.)

edited 1st Aug '14 4:45:23 PM by DuneTheWanderer

Reminds me of the time I said "Mystbuthers" by mistake.

We built this city, we built this city on gypsum board...

edited 1st Aug '14 9:22:21 PM by Fuzy2K

"I am Toxicman! My smell deters friend and foe alike."

Or, in the case of Aberdeen: 'We built this city of rock from a hole...'

"If you're the Magistrate, can I be The Princess?"

It's much odder in context, I promise you. Basically, I was playing the game Victoria 2, and somebody sent me a link to the theme to Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom because I mentioned an event which gives the option of either having a libertine society or a dry one - and because the main effect from the libertine society option decreases militancy which is not good to have, I chose that one.

edited 2nd Aug '14 4:35:54 AM by RatherRandomRachel

"You were merely lightly toasting the house."

In response to a very minor, very easily put out heater fire in my dad's room.

"Surgically grafting our bodies together sounds like a wonderfully romantic idea."

"I have now activated Unlimited Fist Works. This will most certainly not turn out well."

"I think I've just got one of those "pity achievements" you get when the game realizes that it was just way too pro for you." (When I get the "He Threw A Car At My Head" achievement on Civ V)

Yeah, I know who Howard Cosell is... He's the guy who reported on John Lennon's death during a basket... foot... game...

edited 2nd Aug '14 3:44:45 PM by Fuzy2K

"STOP BEATING ME WITH THE ALPHABET THIS IS NOT HOW YOU LEARN THE AB Cs!"

"Okay, I was just in the middle of tracking down a trail of explosions that walks like a man while a deity I offended the other year chats to me about being destined for something or other, and now there's dead people and fires and mobs and dark magic and seriously what the hell is all of this.

...wait, I can stab them? :D *proceeds to stab all of the things*"

Or, alternatively: "Julian's probably just gonna arrive late to the party and be all 'what am I even looking at' and then get about fifty different situation reports that basically all amount to 'WE'RE FUCKED'. And then he noscopes a shapeshifter and proceeds to Fang Prime the nearest horde of dead guys to chunky salsa."

"Wait, I don't remember our bus stop saying 'Malaysian Checkpoint'".

"DANCE! DANCE FOR THE GREAT COPPER SERPENT WHO SHALL BRING US RAIN!" (admittedly, not that weird if you know your Aboriginal mythology. But then again, weird because it was said in New Mexico, not Australia.)

edited 2nd Aug '14 6:23:31 PM by DuneTheWanderer

"When life gives you lemons, make sure you wear a condom."

Probably could've made it weirder if I wasn't so hungry right now. :P

The Chafing is real