A short-livedVampire Detective Series that ran from 2007 to 2008 on CBS. Some saw it as a shameless ripoff of severalothervampire shows. It started to develop its own mythology, but was cancelled before it could really find its footing. It's notable that while critics panned the acting and dialogue, almost everyone agreed that side character Josef Kostan was a real gem.The show revolves around Mick St. John, a 85 years old private investigator (though thanks to vampirism, he looks pretty good for his age). Despite being turned well over 50 years ago, Mick still has some angst about being a vampire, and refuses to kill for food. He has no qualms killing bad guys or other vampires, though. He also has some surprising hang-ups regarding a pretty young blonde...Not to be confused with Moonlight Lady. Or Moonlighting.
Always Need What You Gave Up: Mick has to go through all kinds of hell to find the cure for vampirism, but ends up nearly getting killed by a vampire using his plastic surgery business to collect rare blood types, to sell at a premium. Since the phony surgeon captures Beth, Mick is forced to beg Josef to turn him back into a vampire.
"Sorry, not questioning your loyalties. Vampire solidarity. Rah, rah, rah and all that."
"Hey, you have a soft spot for the mortal ones. A fascination with all the charming things they do, while listening to the 'tick, tick, tick' of their own looming demise. That's fine. That's good. Everyone needs a hobby."
"You seriously drink this stuff? What is it, like, non-fat, soy, vegan blood?"
"Hey look. I know you have morals and scruples and that's fine, sort of."
Dramatic Irony: In the first episode, someone explains "the truth" about vampires to Mick. The audience knows that Mick actually is one, but the humans in the story do not.
Dull Surprise: Also Delayed Reaction when Beth smashes a vase over Mick's head and he stares at her for a second and finally gives a very blank "ouch". Also-also Bad Bad Acting, as Mick, being a vampire, wasn't hurt in the least.
Establishing Character Moment: Josef is introduced arguing with a business partner in his big fancy house, with some beautiful girls hanging out in his pool in the background.
Eternal Love: Coraline makes Mick a vampire so they can be together forever.
"Facing the Bullets" One-Liner: Mick, shot with silver buckshot, writhing in pain, with his shooter leaning over him with a running flamethrower, snarling "The last thing the world needs is an eternal you".
Fanservice: Beth's cameraman attaches a mike to her bra in the first episode. Her shirt hangs open then, and Christian rips it open again later.
Friend on the Force: Beth is on a First Name Basis with an officer called Carl, who frequently gives her little bits of info on new cases, partly because he wants to shut her up, and partly because, "It's me, Carl!"
Mick also has one, from way back before he was a vampire. They can even keep in touch, since his friend is blind and can't see that Mick hasn't aged.
Gory Discretion Shot: We see a masked man pull a knife on Chloe. Next we an outside shot of the building and hear her scream.
Goth: Beth refers to the murder victim as surrounding herself with "goth-o-rama", and many of her funeral-going friends also match the stereotype. However, she calls them "Emo", and seems to be using the terms interchangeably.
Hot for Teacher: Christian seduces his students with the vampire angle and then seduces them.
Hot Scoop: Beth, of course, and most of her reporter buddies.
Masquerade: Vampires work to keep their existence secret from the rest of the world, although exceptions are made for some humans. Heck, Josef pretty much has a harem of sexy girls he drinks from, who seem quite fond of the arrangement themselves.
Beth also let vampires kill a paparazzo because he threatened Mick.
Murder by Cremation: In the episode "Doctor Feelgood", a newly-turned vampire goes rabid and kills a lot of random people (including his wife). Being a doctor, he goes back to his hospital, where Mick tracks him down and stakes him (which only paralyses vampires). He then feeds him to the cremation oven at the morgue downstairs.
My Grandson Myself: Mick tells Beth that the Mick St. John who investigated a murder decades ago was his father.
Older than They Look: Most of the vampires appear to be in their 20s and 30s. Their actual ages are occasionally measured in centuries.
Our Vampires Are Different: They can become human again with a specific drug, though the effects don't last. While they mention an aversion to sunlight, Mick is often seen in daylight. It seems as long as he shades his eyes, he's fine. In reality, as long as he doesn't stay out too long, he'll be fine. Sunlight acts more like a poison than an incinerator.
Vampires also have a pulse. Staking them causes paralysis, but burning and beheading seem to be the only ways to eliminate them.
Ironically , the sunlight and the paralysing stake is actually more "true" to the Vampires of the original Dracula than any other of the modern vampires.
Vampires are allergic to silver, which is actually a neat way of reconciling the whole silver bullet thing with the vampires' lack of reflections in mirrors (which are, or at least used to be, backed with silver) and that you can't take a photograph of them (silver salts in film emulsion).
Which apparently means you can take a digital photo of a vampire with no problems.
Pirate Girl: In "B.C.", Josef mentions that he first met his on-and-off girlfriend Lola in the 17th century when she was trying to put together a pirate army. Apparently, one could do that in those days. Being a vampire helps too.
Protectorate: Mick took it upon himself to protect Beth when she was young.
He also tried to protect a woman named Ilene from her abusive spouse. That one didn't go so well.
Serial Killer: One kills two college student and tries to kill Beth in a Mission-Based example.
There's another in the second episode. He's either a Visionary type (it's stated her can't help himself) or a Power/Control-motivated killer (he's an abusive spouse that threatened to kill his wife if she left him), and likely a combination of the two.
And in the third episode, there's a vampiric one who's driven to kill by his intense hunger.
Serious Business: Beth is very quick to defend Buzzwire when Mick dismisses it as "entertaining".
Tranquillizer Dart: Beth is stabbed with some sort of syringe to put her under. Instant Sedation is actually averted, though. She gets groggy almost immediately and looks like she's out, but she's still just-barely-conscious for the next several minutes.
Your Vampires Suck: One of the first things mentioned in the first episode is that many of the stereotypical ways of killing vampires don't work. Crosses don't kill them and, in Mick's own words, if you were to spray Holy Water on him, the only thing that would happen is that he'd get wet.
Christian also sneers at "dime store" representations of vampires and lectures Mick on what a ''real vampire" is.