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"Remember, kids, exercise is hard, but shoving a spoon down your throat is easy! And don't forget to do it after every meal, just like me!"
— Sailor Moon Abridged, Episode 1
"When I look good, I feel good, too! And the only way I feel good is by vomiting. The only drawback is the stomach acid making my breath smell rank as hell. So I always brush my teeth after every throw up session. Take it from me, kids! A skinny bod means nothing if your breath smells like a dead horse and hot garbage! Sailor Moon says!" (giggle)
— Sailor Moon Abridged, Episode 32
Tom Servo: What do you think the lesson of the movie was? Crow: Don't watch it. "And the Real Lesson? Don't leave things in the Fridge."
— Spike Spiegel, Cowboy Bebop
"The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand'."
— Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events
"It's not the beard on the outside that counts, it's the beard on the inside."
— Action Hank, Dexter's Laboratory
Yugi: Don't you get it, Tristan? This is Joey's coming-of-age episode, where he proves he's a real man by winning a children's card game all by himself.
Tristan: Well, he's got a hot sister, so I guess I can forgive him for assaulting me.
Yugi: And that's what friendship is all about!
"We've learned that card games are the answer to all life's problems. And the only thing I know for certain in this world is that there's a strange man living inside my head who tells me to do things."
— Yugi, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Movie
"Givin' kids charity just makes 'em weak, man. Teach a kid to fish, he can eat fish his whole life. Teach a kid NOT to fish, he starves to death. Where I come from that's murder, Homes."
— Dusty, Left 4 Dead 2
"This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols."
"Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn."
— Yakko Warner, Animaniacs
Jake: Let's never be stupid again.
Finn: No! Let's ALWAYS be stupid! FOREVER!
"Never forget the teachings of those you shoot in the head after they become zombies."
Vicken: Well I think we learned an important lesson today about online safety.
Stef: Yeah, if you want to meet up with a random stranger, make sure your friends're there with loads of weapons to beat him up.
Vicken: Ahhh ... right.
— Mighty Moshin' Emo Rangers, Episode 6: "Uncle Cuddles and Fiddles The Kid  "
Chan: You suppose there's a moral in all of this?
Hsu: Oh... probably.
— Hsu and Chan, "Evening of Destruction"
"Dear Princess Celestia, I wanted to share my thoughts with you. Ahem.... I didn't learn anything! I was right all along!" *happily trots across the screen*
— Applejack, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
" 'Stay away from good-looking women when you're fighting. Otherwise you'll get hit with diarrhea.' One of the few things I learned from Shadow Moses."
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