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Anime and Manga
"Fine, fine, so I did it, OK? These trash are just worthless filth! They're nothing but... but livestock for me to use as I see fit! Garbage like her doesn't have the right to have such beautiful hair! Mine is always giving me trouble, so I treated her extra special! She should be honored that I gave her so much attention! Ungrateful BITCH!"
— Aria, Akame ga Kill!
And one more thing, all those rich fat bastards living under palm trees, all those bitches who think life's only about putting on makeup? I don't want to hear you speaking your mind from the same perspective. Nothing's worse than being treated like a whore by your own companions. I'll say this once: The next time you decide to tell me what's proper, you'll no longer be one of us. When that happens... I'm going to kill you.
— Revy, Black Lagoon
''I know what right and wrong is! Those who appreciate my talent is the right, those who don't and denounce me is the wrong!
— Kaigaku, Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba
[Vegeta has just sent Android 19 running for his life]
Dr. Gero: Enough!
Vegeta: Don't be absurd! It's "enough" because you're losing! You've come here to destroy us! Fool. You're going to have to finish what you started!
Dr. Gero: Enough!
Vegeta: Don't be absurd! It's "enough" because you're losing! You've come here to destroy us! Fool. You're going to have to finish what you started!
— Dragon Ball Z (Funimation dub)
Babidi: [torn apart and dying ] Help me... please.
Piccolo: Help you? Why should I?
Babidi: Please...
Piccolo: When you help others, you receive help. When's the last time you used your powers to help someone? I'll bet it's been a while, hasn't it?
Babidi: Help! Don't lecture me!
Piccolo: You don't like being hurt, do you? But you delight in hurting others. You're right. You don't need a lecture. You need to be exterminated.
Piccolo: Help you? Why should I?
Babidi: Please...
Piccolo: When you help others, you receive help. When's the last time you used your powers to help someone? I'll bet it's been a while, hasn't it?
Babidi: Help! Don't lecture me!
Piccolo: You don't like being hurt, do you? But you delight in hurting others. You're right. You don't need a lecture. You need to be exterminated.
"You pathetic mortals always try to emulate the divine. Now, why is that? Is it because we gods are so wondrous? Are you coveting our undeniable beauty? I understand, yet it's so tragic. Your mimicry is doomed to fail! Acts of gods are beautiful because we are inherently pure, while mortal endeavors will inevitably become wicked—corrupted and marred by sin!"
— Merged Zamasu, Dragon Ball Super
If only the humans appreciated life as we do, I would not have to kill so many of them.
— A Jovian, Martian Successor Nadesico
Those guys've turned nasty! They used to play fair, no matter what dirty tricks we pulled!
— Kasanegafuchi Delinquent, YuYu Hakusho Manga
Comic Books
Vladek: What happened on you, Françoise? You went crazy, or what?! I had the whole time to watch out that this shvartzer doesn't steal us the groceries from the back seat!
Françoise: What?! That's outrageous! How can you, of all people, be such a racist! You talk about blacks the way the Nazis talked about the Jews!
Vladek: Ach! I thought really you are more smart than this, Françoise... it's not even to compare. The shvartzers and the Jews!
Françoise: What?! That's outrageous! How can you, of all people, be such a racist! You talk about blacks the way the Nazis talked about the Jews!
Vladek: Ach! I thought really you are more smart than this, Françoise... it's not even to compare. The shvartzers and the Jews!
—Maus II
Green Goblin: My jet-flyer! You unthinking fool— you've ruined it! You'll pay for that action, Parker— I promise you, you'll pay!!
Spider-Man: Mister, are we living in the same universe? You killed my woman, Goblin, and you're raging about a blasted bargain-basement toy?!
Spider-Man: Mister, are we living in the same universe? You killed my woman, Goblin, and you're raging about a blasted bargain-basement toy?!
Comic Strips
All this was funny until she did the same thing to me.
— Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin: As far as I'm concerned, the ends justify the means. Get what you can while the getting's good, that's what I say! Might Makes Right! The winners write the history books! It's a dog-eat-dog world, so I'll do whatever I have to, and let others argue about whether it's "right" or not.
(Hobbes casually shoves Calvin into the mud)
Calvin: HEY! Why'd you do THAT!?
Hobbes: You were in my way. Now you're not. The ends justify the means.
Calvin: I didn't mean for everyone, you dolt! Just me!
Hobbes: Ahh...
(Hobbes casually shoves Calvin into the mud)
Calvin: HEY! Why'd you do THAT!?
Hobbes: You were in my way. Now you're not. The ends justify the means.
Calvin: I didn't mean for everyone, you dolt! Just me!
Hobbes: Ahh...
Fan Works
Fluttershy: Do you remember Scorpan?
Tirek: Don't speak his name, it disgust me to hear it. Yes, of course I remember; how could I forget? He stabbed me in the back. My own brother, my own flesh and blood, betrayed me and fought against my cause.
Fluttershy: Um... isn't that exactly what you did to Discord? Well, you two aren't related, so it's not exactly the same, but...
Dr. Gero: You lime-colored son of a bitch! It's going to take me at least… two hours to program a new hand! No, wait. I'm right handed! Three hours! You miserable reprobates! What have I ever done to you?
Piccolo: Pretty sure you vaporized half a city.
Dr. Gero: I meant recently!
Piccolo: That was an hour ago.
Dr. Gero: SEMANTICS!
Piccolo: Pretty sure you vaporized half a city.
Dr. Gero: I meant recently!
Piccolo: That was an hour ago.
Dr. Gero: SEMANTICS!
— Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Episode 37
Orbot: Remind me again why we keep inviting [Eggman Nega] to tag along with us every time Olympic season rolls around?
Eggman: It's not my fault. It's the Olympics association! They never banned him after he tried nuking the whole stadium that one time.
Cubot: To be fair, they didn't ban you and that Bowser guy either after you covered the city of London in a bunch of fog.
Eggman: They didn't send us invitations! You can't just invite robots to a sporting event, and not invite the man who created the robots! That's a crime! A crime punishable by spooky death fog!
Eggman: It's not my fault. It's the Olympics association! They never banned him after he tried nuking the whole stadium that one time.
Cubot: To be fair, they didn't ban you and that Bowser guy either after you covered the city of London in a bunch of fog.
Eggman: They didn't send us invitations! You can't just invite robots to a sporting event, and not invite the man who created the robots! That's a crime! A crime punishable by spooky death fog!
Film — Animated
We’ve done a lotta things we’re not proud of— robbin’ graves, plunderin’ tombs, double parking... but nobody got hurt! (Beat) Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew!
— Vinny Santorini, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
King Leonard: You're wrecking my house! What's wrong with you?
Red: You wrecked my house!
King Leonard: Your house was ugly!
Red: Well, now we're even.
Red: You wrecked my house!
King Leonard: Your house was ugly!
Red: Well, now we're even.
"You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd"
Of my virtue I am justly proud
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd"
— Frollo, "Hellfire", The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Film — Live-Action
Let me put this in terms you're more familiar with. A man... kills four hundred people. He tells us that it's complicated, that he's misunderstood. Do you think... that Kira would hear his excuses? Or do you think he'd walk him off a bridge?
— L to Light/Kira, Death Note (2017)
Michael Sullivan: He murdered Annie and Peter!
John Rooney: There are only murderers in this room! Michael! Open your eyes! This is the life we chose, the life we lead. And there is only one guarantee — none of us will see heaven.
Kermit: You kidnapped Jack Black? That's illegal!
Fozzie: But Kermit, what's more illegal: Briefly inconveniencing Jack Black, or destroying the Muppets?
Kermit: Kidnapping Jack Black, Fozzie!
Miss Piggy: Kermit, listen. Whatever I may think of you right now, these guys are counting on you. You inspire them.
Kermit: What, to kidnap people?
Miss Piggy: To work together!
Kermit: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!?
Lew: Mr. The Frog, we all agreed a celebrity is not a people.
Fozzie: But Kermit, what's more illegal: Briefly inconveniencing Jack Black, or destroying the Muppets?
Kermit: Kidnapping Jack Black, Fozzie!
Miss Piggy: Kermit, listen. Whatever I may think of you right now, these guys are counting on you. You inspire them.
Kermit: What, to kidnap people?
Miss Piggy: To work together!
Kermit: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!?
Lew: Mr. The Frog, we all agreed a celebrity is not a people.
What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?
— Colonel Kurtz, Apocalypse Now
Otter: He can't do that to our pledges!
Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges.
Arthur Fleck/Joker: Playing my video. Inviting me on the show. You just wanted to make fun of me. You're just like the rest of 'em!
Murray Franklin: You don't know the first thing about me, pal. Look what happened because of what you did. What it led to. There are riots out there. Two policeman are in critical condition and you're laughing, you're laughing. Someone was killed today because of what you did.
Arthur Fleck/Joker: [smiling and chuckling] I know!
Literature
When doing business with a religious sonofabitch, GET IT IN WRITING. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.
— William S. Burroughs, "Advice for Young People"
God, I love the 'fine morality' of the wealthy and powerful. You'll spill tears over your own, in a heartbeat. And then never even look twice at people below you, whose lives are ground under every day, day after day, year after year. Such are beneath your contempt, aren't they?
— W.E.B. Du Havel, Crown of Slaves
...and exploded harmlessly (To me, which is what counts) on the street.
— Bartimaeus, The Bartimaeus Trilogy
Neville: I don't think you should be breaking any more rules! And you were the ones who told me to stand up to people!
Ron: Yes, but not to us.
Ron: Yes, but not to us.
“You have daughters,” I said.
“Two, going to universities halfway across the world.”
“And you don’t feel an iota of remorse for hurting a father through his daughter?”
“Not one,” he replied, staring me in the eye.
“Two, going to universities halfway across the world.”
“And you don’t feel an iota of remorse for hurting a father through his daughter?”
“Not one,” he replied, staring me in the eye.
— Skitter and Director Tagg, Worm
"It has a sort of pitiful sound, although they are only blacks."
— King Leopold, King Leopold’s Soliloquy
"If he wanted to to kill me, he didn't have to think about whether it was a fatal blow or not, and if I died, it'd be my own bad luck. If I wanted to protect myself, however, I had to think about this and that not to harm, unable to take even a single strand of hair away from him? In conclusion, you all could pull a siege on me, but I'm not allowed to fight back, am I right?"
— Wei Wuxian, Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi
Frederick Petrefact wondered what it was about the English morality that made masturbation worse than murder.
[…] when little Alvaro was growing up in Miami, no one seemed to understand he was European, Madrid-born, a man of La Mancha. He tried to blend in by running with gangs of illiterate Puerto Ricans and avoiding the vosotros tense, but upon arriving on New York's art scene, he quickly became European again. It was an important career move. Alvaro smokes, drinks, fucks, and fights. In Miami, a boy in a Puerto Rican gang who does that is a thug. In New York, a European artist who does that is an eccentric whose work is worth purchasing. Go figure.
— Gregg, Falling Up by Brian J Bromberg
Live-Action TV
Interesting. Your Earth people glorify organized violence for forty centuries, but you imprison those who employ it privately.
Spend time with corrupt, homicidal, Third World political figures and you hear a lot of self-pity. What kind of man throws his political enemies in prison and tortures them to death? Usually it's a guy who feels so sorry for himself that he feels justified doing anything. Killers, by and large, are whining losers. But that doesn't make them any less dangerous.
— Michael, Burn Notice ("Truth and Reconciliation")
The Governor: We can take care of the whole crew. It's the only way to avoid a slaughter.
Milton: That is a slaughter.
The Governor: Not on our end.
Milton: That is a slaughter.
The Governor: Not on our end.
Duncan, you did seem less into integrity the day I convinced twelve of your peers that when you made that u-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box, that your only real crime was loving America.
— Jeff, Community
Jake: I can't believe we're fugitives on the lam, falsely accused of a crime.
Holt: There's nothing false about it. We committed several felonies and escaped from jail.
Jake: Yeah, but we were just doing what we had to do. We're the good guys! [horrified realization] This is what they all think!
Holt: There's nothing false about it. We committed several felonies and escaped from jail.
Jake: Yeah, but we were just doing what we had to do. We're the good guys! [horrified realization] This is what they all think!
— Brooklyn Nine-Nine, "Coral Palms, Part Two"
Barry Allen: Ramsay, you're a doctor! You're supposed to save lives, not take them!
Ramsay Rosso: I AM saving lives, Flash! MINE!
"All right. I mean, he's a bad boy, runs an Al-Qaeda website from Yemen; but you complained when Bush just wanted to read Americans' e-mails without a warrant. Wait a second. All that power that you didn't like when someone else had it, you decided to keep it. Oh, my God. You're Frodo. YOU'RE FRODO! Mr. President, do you know what you need to do? Throw the Ring into the fires of Mount Doom and destroy it! I know. I know. You think you can be trusted with the power because you're not a bad person. You're just being stalked by a strange and twisted creature who wants to take the precious Ring from you. (photo of Gollum) No, no, no. Not him, the other one. (photo of Sarah Palin) Yeah, that's the one."
Music
"Saying 'no abortion, no sir-ree,
Life's too precious can't you see?'
What's that swinging from the neighbor's tree?
Well it looks like colored folks to me"
Life's too precious can't you see?'
What's that swinging from the neighbor's tree?
Well it looks like colored folks to me"
— Frank Zappa, "Jesus Thinks You're a Jerk" (1988)
"In every political community there are varying shades of political opinion. One of the shadiest of these is the liberals. Ten degrees to the left of center in good times. Ten degrees to the right of center if it affects them personally."
— Phil Ochs, "Love Me, I'm A Liberal"
"Great Britain, you are tremendous
And nobody knows like me
But really what are you doin'
In the land across the sea?
Tell me how would you like it
If on your way to work
You were stopped by Irish soldiers
Would you lie down, do nothing
Would you give in, or go berserk?"
— Paul McCartney and Wings, "Give Ireland Back To The Irish"
Do you have a reason why
You all think you can decide
Whether cattle has the right
To choose if it lives or dies!?
You all think you can decide
Whether cattle has the right
To choose if it lives or dies!?
— Lavos, Chrono Trigger: The Musical, "Last Battle"
Video Games
Elizabeth: But I thought Andrew Ryan was all about "free markets" and "open competition".
Booker: All those ideas lose their luster when the quarterly earnings come in and you find out the other guy's been eating your lunch.
Booker: All those ideas lose their luster when the quarterly earnings come in and you find out the other guy's been eating your lunch.
Izuka: Have a care, Crimean count! If my knowledge dies, so does your only hope of saving that man!
Bastian: Hmm...it’s true that your knowledge is a valuable asset.
Izuka: Ah, my noble count! You are most merciful!
Bastian: I have some knowledge of anatomy. Once you are dead, perhaps I will dissect your brain and see if I can identify the root of your intelligence.
Izuka: Y-you monster! What you suggest is unconscionable!
Bastian: Exactly, yet you had no hesitation before doing worse to the laguz. I will speed you now to the afterlife, where you may contemplate your life’s egregious mistakes.
Bastian: Hmm...it’s true that your knowledge is a valuable asset.
Izuka: Ah, my noble count! You are most merciful!
Bastian: I have some knowledge of anatomy. Once you are dead, perhaps I will dissect your brain and see if I can identify the root of your intelligence.
Izuka: Y-you monster! What you suggest is unconscionable!
Bastian: Exactly, yet you had no hesitation before doing worse to the laguz. I will speed you now to the afterlife, where you may contemplate your life’s egregious mistakes.
"I have no use for forgiveness, especially from someone who puts my homeworld at risk for an oversized battery."
— Lord Brevon's response to the player's character refusing to forgive him for turning Milla into a monster, Freedom Planet
Flam Kish: I am Lieutenant Colonel Flam Kish of the Special Forces. You're responsible for the death of my father, Colonel Pretzel… How dare you oppose the Berman Empire!
Jin: Shut up! You're the one who killed my father!!
Flam Kish: It's presumptuous to compare us chosen people of Berman with worthless trash like you! You should rather feel honored that this filthy factory served our grand purpose...
Jin: Shut up! You're the one who killed my father!!
Flam Kish: It's presumptuous to compare us chosen people of Berman with worthless trash like you! You should rather feel honored that this filthy factory served our grand purpose...
"You want me to understand your sadness? You think I'm going to sympathize with you? I swore to protect my daughter and my friends. If someone puts them in danger, they must stand aside or be cut down!"
— Nier to the Shadowlord after the Shadowlord's daughter sacrifices herself to save Nier's daughter, NieR
"We love messing with Rangers! On the flip side, we hate being messed with by Rangers!"
"We punish people who do it who aren't us."
— Max to a graffiti artist, Sam & Max
Sam: Max, where should I put this [bomb] so it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about?
Max: Out the window, Sam. There's nothing but strangers out there.
Max: Out the window, Sam. There's nothing but strangers out there.
Sam: I think we need these binoculars more than Bosco does.
Max: Ummm, not really.
Sam: Well, no, these incessant rationalizations for our questionable tactics do not, in all honesty, have much merit to them, and yet there remains a very real compulsion to say them.
[Beat]
Max: He doesn't really need the binoculars, anyway.
Sam: Yeah, right.
Max: Right, yeah, oh, sure, okay.
Max: Ummm, not really.
Sam: Well, no, these incessant rationalizations for our questionable tactics do not, in all honesty, have much merit to them, and yet there remains a very real compulsion to say them.
[Beat]
Max: He doesn't really need the binoculars, anyway.
Sam: Yeah, right.
Max: Right, yeah, oh, sure, okay.
"The problem with what Cazador has done is that he did it to me."
— Astarion, Baldur's Gate III
Web Original
The notion — that war is, as Jex puts it, "a different world" in which normality shifts drastically and morality becomes fuzzy — is, for a start, a somewhat glib truism. Like all such glib truisms, it can be pressed into service (i.e. "Yes, an invasion will kill lots of Iraqi people... but we have to do something; Saddam has WMD!!!") or ignored (i.e. "Those Muslamic terrorists are killing Our Boys!!! Why do they hate us???") according to ideological needs and preferences.
Humbert shoots a man named Clare Quilty for kidnapping Dolores and doing weird things to her. (So ... he pretty much shoots him for plagiarism.)
What if we could find data saying trans people should be more likely to get arrested? What will our detractors say then? They’ll be silent, as well they should be, and free speech will survive one more day.
Web Video
Ah, yes, the 'Because I say so' defense! As legitimized in the famous case of Timmy v. Mom and its landmark implications re: cookies before bed.
V: I'm the good kind of terrorist, the kind that tortures people and blows things up...wait...
Alan Moore: I'm a bloody genius!
Alan Moore: I'm a bloody genius!
— Linkara, summarizing V for Vendetta
Starlight Glimmer: So if it happens to someone else, it doesn't matter. But as soon as it happens to you, then it's a problem.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, that's how caring about things works, Starlight. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, that's how caring about things works, Starlight. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
— My Little Pony: Totally Legit Recap, "School Raze" (Part 1)
Riddler: (regarding Batman looking up the answers to his usual riddles) You know, Batman, I… I really don't have any friends or anything, this is, like, my one social interaction of the month, and… you're kind of ruining it for me right now.
Batman: Okay, I hear you... counterpoint: you're a terrorist.
Riddler: Oh, so all of a sudden, that justifies you cheating?
Batman: In every conceivable way.
Batman: Okay, I hear you... counterpoint: you're a terrorist.
Riddler: Oh, so all of a sudden, that justifies you cheating?
Batman: In every conceivable way.
Zelda: Daruk, calm down! Was what Ganon did bad? Yes! No one's denying that! But is it really as bad as him tricking my crush into liking another girl?
Revali, Urbosa, Mipha and Daruk: WE'RE ALL DEAD!
Zelda: And you seem perfectly fine now!
Revali: You're missing the point!
Mipha: Actually, I'm quite okay with what Ganon did, at least involving Link.
Ganondorf: See? Someone appreciates what I do.
Zelda: She's the only one who benefitted from it!
Ganondorf: Ah, doesn't matter. She still appreciates it. Thank you, Mipha.
Mipha: I still fucking hate you. Burn in hell.
Ganondorf: Well, that's not very nice. Some people have no manners.
Revali: You tried to genocide the kingdom!
Ganondorf: Yeah, but that's different.
Revali, Urbosa, Mipha and Daruk: WE'RE ALL DEAD!
Zelda: And you seem perfectly fine now!
Revali: You're missing the point!
Mipha: Actually, I'm quite okay with what Ganon did, at least involving Link.
Ganondorf: See? Someone appreciates what I do.
Zelda: She's the only one who benefitted from it!
Ganondorf: Ah, doesn't matter. She still appreciates it. Thank you, Mipha.
Mipha: I still fucking hate you. Burn in hell.
Ganondorf: Well, that's not very nice. Some people have no manners.
Revali: You tried to genocide the kingdom!
Ganondorf: Yeah, but that's different.
Western Animation
It's only funny when it happens to someone else!
— Richard Watterson, The Amazing World of Gumball
"Oh wow! Oh, it's nice to have the CIA come by and lecture me on putting people in cages!"
— Santa Claus, American Dad!
The Coon: I'm makin' the world a better place!
Mysterion: For you! You're making the world a better place for you!
The Coon: ...riiight, that's what superheroes do.
Mysterion: For you! You're making the world a better place for you!
The Coon: ...riiight, that's what superheroes do.
These Americans butcher my men like...well, like I butcher their Jews!
What's the fun in seeing a kid get eaten by a monster if it's my kid?
— Eda Clawthorne, The Owl House
Go ahead and laugh. You won't be laughing when a giant meteor crushes you. That's only funny when it happens to someone else! Comedy 101, people!
