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Quotes: Comically Missing the Point
Shoots him down dead on the floor
Aw, you shouldn't do that
Don't you know you'll stain the carpet
Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet
The Velvet Underground, "Sister Ray"

*suddenly awakes* "Aaaah! The peasant, at the diner... *Beat* ... He didn't pay his check..." *falls back to sleep*

I mean, I like uniforms, but what's the point if everyone in a group is wearing the same thing?
Tedd, El Goonish Shive

Charles: Now, which is the worst tennis-playing nation in the world?
She: Er ... Australia.
Charles: No. Try again.
She: Australia?
Charles: (testily) No... try again but say a different place.
She: Oh, I thought you meant I'd said it badly.
Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Science Fiction Sketch"

"Do not damage the safety equipment. Remove it, in case of danger."
— Female Announcer, Rabbids Go Home

Padme: After it!
Clone NPC: It's a spaceship. This is a hover transport-
Padme: Modify the engines or something!
Clone NPC: -with no walls.
Padme: Hold your breaths!

"For a far more thought-provoking tale about the virtual realm, try The Social Network."
— A USA Today review of TRON: Legacy

<Batty>: Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep>: rapc?
<Batty>: ...
<Batty>: Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep>: oic
<Batty>: Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep>: wtf is erap?
*Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall*
bash.org

{From the educational movie "Meat and You: Partners in Freedom"}
Troy McClure: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Oooohhh!
Troy McClure: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy! It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.
—McClure misses the point and makes it worse, The Simpsons

<Supercow>: i once questioned a turtle about advanced trigonometry
<Supercow>: but after a while i found out it was only a rock
<eightyapes>: idiot
<Supercow>: fuck u... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked like a turtle
<eightyapes>: i dont think u get my point
Bash.org

Jeremy: I'm here to renegotiate my employment, Hector.
Hector: Dude, you quit before you ever started.
Jeremy (holding his hand out): Apology accepted.
Hector: Engaging mower blade!
Zits

Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve [Sandy]!
Squidward: How long can she stay like that?
SpongeBob: I don't know!
Patrick: Sandy's a girl?
Sponge Bob Square Pants, "Pressure"

Gumball: What do bald people need more of?
Darwin: Friends?
Gumball: Yes! And what do you buy friends with?
Darwin: Uhhhhh...
Gumball: With money!

Martin: And I'm wondering, how did it all slip away?
Karen: Well, "it" didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.
Martin: Yeah, that was a good party.

I think they have destroy the game just with the Bo; i hate japenese music , it was a bad choice to give this project to a japenese i think
Teranovadra's reaction to the final stage of Child of Eden

Mr. Furious: ... Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing.
The Shoveller: Don't start that again. Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.
Mr. Furious: He takes them off when he transforms.
The Shoveller: That doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't be able to see.

Confucius: Never belch before a lady.
Froggo: Sorry! I didn't know it was her turn.
Histeria!

Luigi: 200 years [in prison]!? What're we gonna do!?
Mario: Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!

Princess Selenay: I will not take those gowns, or these gowns, or any gowns at all! How many times must I tell you? I'm going to a battlefield, not a fete, a state visit, or a festival!
Maid: But, Highness, you will be surrounded by highborn young men! Your Highness cannot possibly wish to appear the hoyden—"

Parappa: Wait, wait wait! That doesn't sound like Rock'n Roll!
PJ: Cuz you played it funny. Now it's my turn.
Um Jammer Lammy, specifically PaRappa's story

Deekin I like gnomes, / So dumb and fat, / Fat and dumb / In burrows like moles / Shoot 'em full of arrows / Put 'em on a stick / That's why I like gnomes.
Grobnar: My word. Just hearing that gives me the shivers.
Qara: I'll bet that could have shattered a castle wall.
Sand: Well, that cleared my sinuses.
Shandra Jerro: How... pleasant. Now Grobnar, I'm sure he didn't m...
Grobnar: I say, this is... genius. The tone, the tempo. You can almost feel the angst and pain of the gnomes as they are filled with arrows... and put on sticks. And the theme of the piece... now, that is tragedy, in its deepest, most primal form. And the climax, the uplifting portion, where the affirmation of liking gnomes is confirmed... And then brought full circle with the physical and emotional double meaning of them being in the mind and in the stomach. Amazing. I say, traveling to Neverwinter with you all has really been broadening my horizons — who would have thought I'd get to meet a kobold author and playwright!
— Deekin Scalesinger, Grobnar Gnomehands, Qara, Sand, and Shandra Jerro, Neverwinter Nights 2

I don't like you, caint you get that through your head!?
LOOK, I'm Grape-Nose-Boy! BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY BLOOPEDDY...
Dexter and Ed, Good Burger

"You mean Bethany's... part-black?"
— Jay, Dogma, on the revelation that Bethany's the descendant of Jesus.

Goku: Ah- [he's] a Yoshi.
Piccolo: (offscreen) I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!
Goku: But you said you were!
Piccolo: (offscreen) It's called sarcasm!
Goku: What's that taste like?
Piccolo: (offscreen) DAMMIT Goku!!
Dragon Ball Z Abridged Episode 2, where Goku and Piccolo fight Raditz.

Tsubomi: The student council president is a girl... My first love... ended in three minutes...!
Erika: Uh, what should I say... Thank goodness that the Fashion Club can continue on!
Tsubomi: THAT'S IT!? If you're my friend, shouldn't you comfort me instead!?

Duck: *after crashing to a barber shop* Beg pardon, sir. Excuse my intrusion.
The barber: No I won't! You've frightened my customers! I'll teach you! *lather Duck's face with shaving cream*
Thomas the Tank Engine, "A Close Shave"

Gurlukovich: Oh boy! I can't wait to use Metal Gear RAY to restore Mother Russia to her former glory!
Ocelot: What? I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. It sounded like "Please shoot me in the face and take this Metal Gear." CAN DO. *bang bang bang bang*

Stationmaster's wife: *After Thomas crashes to the stationmaster's house* You miserable engine! Just look what you done to our breakfast! Now I have to cook some more!
Thomas the Tank Engine, "Thomas Comes To Breakfast"

Geoffrey (the butler): I couldn't possibly (pursue a relationship with a wealthy socialite). It's a matter of class.
Will: Ain't nobody got more class than you. You wear a tuxedo to clean the toilet!

Report on Reports Sees Too Many Reports: Project took 668 Pages, 18 months; more study is due, agency head says.
— An Associated Press wire story, reproduced here.

"It's so disgusting that a woman would leave her baby in a dumpster. Some people eat out of those!"
Comedian Nikki Glaser

Chris: This, by the way, is one of my favorite things about this era: Batman has a hidden panel in his house, he hides the switch to open it, he says all the time that if his identity were revealed, it would compromise his effectiveness as a crimefighter… but he keeps the Bat-Phone just straight up sitting on his desk.
David: Well, it’s plausible that he just likes red phones! In serving trays!
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Batman: The Movie

"The fans' chants of “BORING” have now turned to “Fire Russo!” Funny backstory there: following this encounter, Dixie Carter did an interview saying how dumb the fans were since Russo didn’t even book this. She did not follow up by saying how stupid she herself was for putting on such a match that had fans chanting for someone to be on the unemployment line."

Peter Griffin: Well from this day forward, I, Peter Griffin, will never drink again.
Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter Griffin: Crack.

skeletonpart: during an accident as a child a small boy broke his arms and was then exposed to xrays these rays revealed that the boy was in fact part man, part skeleton
magehenry: ..what?
skeletonpart: the SKELETON MAN

''" When the wise man points at the moon, it is the fool who looks at the finger -Confucius

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