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"Zozo? Never heard of it."
— Thief standing by the entrance of Zozo, Final Fantasy VI
"Anyone see what happened?" "Of course not. They were all in the bathroom at the time." "YOU LIE!!!!"
— Invader ZIM on frequent occasions.
[After she wakes up and see their room-mate staring at her and her girlfriend's entangled bodies]
Paulie: She... she gets serious nightmares.
Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying.
I'm making you a sales engineer, you'll be paid on commision. When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth.
Try to avoid facts.
— Dilbert
Wedge: We'll need a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing.
Hobbie: Boss, please tell me you're not putting us in women's clothing.
Wedge: Very well. I'm not putting us in women's clothing.
(In the next chapter, the four pilots are in women's clothing)
Hobbie: You lied to me.
Wedge: I did. With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators.
Hobbie: My faith is shattered.
Wedge: You knew, when I said we needed four sets of women's clothing, that we were going to end up in them. You knew. So any hopes you had to the contrary were just self-delusion.
Hobbie: I understand that. But I'd rather blame you than me.
Dougal: Why didn't you lie to him?
Ted: I did! I told him great big massive lies with feckin' bells hanging off them!
—Father Ted, "Entertaining Father Stone"
"I HAVE NO LASERS, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE."
I'll just go in this police box and arrest myself.
—The Doctor, Doctor Who
Maura: Hey, babe. Where've you been?
Clango: Nowhere! I briefly ceased to exist in time and space!
Maura: That doesn't sound suspicious at all.
—''Diesel Sweeties'
Reimu: There's a limit, even to obvious lies.
If you saw a bullet hit a bird and he told you he wasn't shot, you might weep at his courtesy, but you would certainly doubt his word.
It was a difficult time. I did all that I could to protect my House and then other members of Court in attendance. More's the pity that I could not save that usurping, traitorous bitch.
—Lara Raith, in one of her blunter moments, The Dresden Files - White Night
Evan: I wonder who you are.
Jon: I'm, uh, Mario.
Azura: Mario has the PAWNCH?
Jon: Mario has a poncho. He's, uh, from Mexico.
Azura: Sweet.
Ashley: Or is he from Spain?
Jon: Ethnic minority Mario! Collect them all!
—ProtonJon and his friends, waiting for the next match to begin
(Antimony and Reynardine approach door, Antimony is wearing a headband with attached antennae.) Antimony: Hello. I would like to enter, please. Doorbot: Robots onl... what's that on your head? Antimony: These are my antennas, because I am clearly a robot. Doorbot: Oh! Well... it's true that some robots have antennas... hmm... Antimony: Also, robots never lie. Doorbot: Hey, you're right! Come on in, friends! Antimony: We are looking for a particular robot. A... fellow robot. Because we are also robots. Doorbot: Administration is right down that way. Reynardine: Your powers of deception and trickery are bewildering, child. [Superintendent Chalmers sees Principal Skinner's is glowing (as it is aflame)] Chalmers: Good Lord! What is happening in there?! Skinner: Aurora Borealis. Chalmers: A- Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? LOCALIZED IN YOUR KITCHEN?! Skinner: Yes. Chalmers: (beat) ...may I see it? Mrs. Teasdale: Your Excellency, I thought you'd left! Chicolini: Oh no, I no leave. Mrs. Teasdale: But I saw you with my own eyes! Chicolini: Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?
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