History Quotes / BlatantLies

10th Dec '17 10:40:05 AM lakingsif
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-->--''Series/BlackMirror: [[Series/BlackMirrorChristmasSpecial White Christmas]]''

to:

-->--''Series/BlackMirror: [[Series/BlackMirrorChristmasSpecial White Christmas]]''
-->--''Recap/BlackMirrorWhiteChristmas''
8th Nov '17 11:26:56 AM lillolillo
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Added DiffLines:

[[folder:Comic Books]]

->'''[[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Linda Danvers]]:''' Then why'd you tell me you were at Symphony Hall when you talked to me on the phone that day?\\
'''Philip:''' D-did I...?\\
'''Linda:''' If you're going to lie, at least try to be consistent!
-->-- ''ComicBook/Supergirl1982''

[[/folder]]
13th Oct '17 12:14:59 PM SeptimusHeap
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->'''Jon''': [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl FALCON]] [[VideoGame/{{F-Zero}} PAWNCH!]]\\

to:

->'''Jon''': [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl FALCON]] [[VideoGame/{{F-Zero}} [[VideoGame/FZero PAWNCH!]]\\
23rd Jun '17 5:31:06 AM AnotherEpicFail
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Added DiffLines:

->'''Joe:''' She ''murdered'' him?
->'''Matt:''' A mercy-killing, she'd call it.
->'''Joe:''' So when did you find out about this? I mean, when did you know that this had happened?
->'''Matt:''' [[UnreliableNarrator Uh... I saw it on a newscast, I think.]]
->''([[GilliganCut Cut to]] Matt and the rest of the group staring in horror at the livestream of Jennifer forcing poison into Harry's mouth)''
->'''Matt:''' Wipe and destroy everything. Okay? ''Everything!'' Now, go!
-->--''Series/BlackMirror: [[Series/BlackMirrorChristmasSpecial White Christmas]]''
29th May '17 2:51:13 PM Tacitus
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->''"Bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are."''
-->--'''Harry Frankfurt''', ''On Bullshit''
----
!!!Fiction
->''"I HAVE NO LASERS, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE."''
-->--'''[[PaperThinDisguise Obviously Not Warmech]],''' ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater', "[[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/10/16/episode-1047-the-ol-180/ The Ol' 180]]"

->''Hello i am in braille''
-->--''A book found in a level from '''VideoGame/ASuperMarioThing''', translated from Morse Code.''

->''"Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying."''
-->--''Series/BurnNotice''

->''"Please excuse Calvin from class today. His genius is urgently required on a top secret matter of national security. Sincerely, The President. P.S. Really."''
-->--A letter given to Mrs. Wormwood in ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''

->'''Peter''': You look like ''Film/MaryPoppins''.\\
'''Yondu''': [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Is he cool?]]\\
'''Peter''': Hell yeah he's cool.
-->-- ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2''

->'''[[VisualNovel/FateStayNight Rider]]''': Um, I have this '[[TheDitz Airhead]]' as a skill...\\

to:

->''"Bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are."''
-->--'''Harry Frankfurt''', ''On Bullshit''
----
!!!Fiction
->''"I HAVE NO LASERS, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE."''
-->--'''[[PaperThinDisguise Obviously Not Warmech]],''' ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater', "[[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/10/16/episode-1047-the-ol-180/ The Ol' 180]]"

->''Hello i am in braille''
-->--''A book found in a level from '''VideoGame/ASuperMarioThing''', translated from Morse Code.''

->''"Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying."''
-->--''Series/BurnNotice''

->''"Please excuse Calvin from class today. His genius is urgently required on a top secret matter of national security. Sincerely, The President. P.S. Really."''
-->--A letter given to Mrs. Wormwood in ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''

->'''Peter''': You look like ''Film/MaryPoppins''.\\
'''Yondu''': [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Is he cool?]]\\
'''Peter''': Hell yeah he's cool.
-->-- ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2''

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

->'''[[VisualNovel/FateStayNight Rider]]''': Um, I have this '[[TheDitz Airhead]]' [[TheDitz "Airhead"]] as a skill...\\



->'''Light''' (to [[NotSoImaginaryFriend Ryuk]]): No one is listening to you, Ryuk.\\
'''Sayu:''' What does Ryuk mean?\\

to:

->'''Light''' (to [[NotSoImaginaryFriend Ryuk]]): [[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]

->'''Light:'''
No one is listening to you, Ryuk.[[NotSoImaginaryFriend Ryuk]].\\
'''Sayu:''' What does Ryuk "Ryuk" mean?\\



->''"If you saw a bullet hit a bird and he told you he wasn't shot, you might weep at his courtesy, but you would certainly doubt his word."''
-->--'''Creator/EmilyDickinson'''

->'''Maura:''' Hey, babe. Where've you been?\\
'''Clango:''' Nowhere! I briefly ceased to exist in time and space!\\
'''Maura:''' That doesn't sound suspicious at all.
-->--''Webcomic/DieselSweeties''

->'''Dilbert''': Why have you ignored my request, Ted?\\
'''Ted''': I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels.\\
'''Wally''': He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie.\\
'''Dilbert''': I demand a '''plausible''' lie!\\
'''Ted''': Okay, maybe I ''wasn't'' killed by giant military squirrels. But I ''was'' imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth.\\
'''Wally''': You can't prove that one either way.\\
'''Dilbert''': He did say it was a "secret" lair.
-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}''

->''I'll just go in this police box and arrest myself.''
-->--'''The Doctor''', (whose spaceship resembles a police box) ''Series/DoctorWho''

->'''The Doctor''': I don't suppose you've completely ignored my instructions and secretly prepared any Nitro-9, have you?\\
'''Ace''': What if I had?\\
'''The Doctor''': Naturally, you wouldn't do anything so insanely dangerous as to carry it around with you, would you?\\
'''Ace''': Of course not. I'm a good girl, I do what I'm told.\\
'''The Doctor''': Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.\\
'''Ace''': *delighted grin*
-->--''Series/DoctorWho'': "Silver Nemesis"

->''It was a difficult time. I did all that I could to protect my House and then other members of Court in attendance. More's the pity that I could not save that usurping, traitorous bitch.''
-->--'''Lara Raith''', in one of her blunter moments, ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles - White Night''

to:

->''"If you saw a bullet hit a bird and he told you he wasn't shot, you might weep at his courtesy, but you would certainly doubt his word."''
-->--'''Creator/EmilyDickinson'''

->'''Maura:''' Hey, babe. Where've you been?\\
'''Clango:''' Nowhere!
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film - Animated]]

->[[ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} Logan]],
I briefly ceased to exist in time and space!\\
'''Maura:''' That doesn't sound suspicious at all.
-->--''Webcomic/DieselSweeties''

->'''Dilbert''': Why have you ignored my request, Ted?\\
'''Ted''': I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels.\\
'''Wally''': He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie.\\
'''Dilbert''': I demand a '''plausible''' lie!\\
'''Ted''': Okay, maybe I ''wasn't'' killed by giant military squirrels. But I ''was'' imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth.\\
'''Wally''': You can't prove that one either way.\\
'''Dilbert''': He did say it was a "secret" lair.
think we lost him!
-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}''

->''I'll just go in this police box and arrest myself.''
-->--'''The Doctor''', (whose spaceship resembles a police box) ''Series/DoctorWho''

->'''The Doctor''': I don't suppose you've completely ignored my instructions and secretly prepared any Nitro-9, have you?\\
'''Ace''': What if I had?\\
'''The Doctor''': Naturally, you wouldn't do anything so insanely dangerous
'''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}''', as to carry it around with you, would you?\\
'''Ace''': Of course not. I'm a good girl, I do what I'm told.\\
'''The Doctor''': Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.\\
'''Ace''': *delighted grin*
-->--''Series/DoctorWho'': "Silver Nemesis"

->''It was a difficult time. I did all that I could to protect my House and then other members of Court in attendance. More's the pity that I could not save that usurping, traitorous bitch.''
-->--'''Lara Raith''', in one of her blunter moments, ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles
ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk is three feet behind them, ''[[WesternAnimation/HulkVs Hulk Vs Wolverine]]''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film
- White Night''
Live-Action]]



-->--'''DuckSoup'''

->'''Dougal:''' Why didn't you lie to him?\\
'''Ted:''' I did! I told him great big massive lies with feckin' bells hanging off them!
-->--''Series/FatherTed'', "Entertaining Father Stone"

->"Zozo? Never heard of it."
-->-- ''Thief standing by the entrance of [[WretchedHive Zozo]], VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI''

->'''Maurice Chavez''': [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Mr. Shrub]], you got elected on a campaign promising to reduce taxes to zero. But under your stewardship, we've seen taxes go up by 20% and services decline!\\
'''Alex Shrub''': No one is interested in your ''[[LiesDamnedLiesandStatistics statistics]]'', Chavez. Let me tell you something pal, I'm better than that. I will not--I shall not--I ''cannot'' stoop to your level! They assured me that this was a show that understood politics, where we can debate mano-a-mano. And I find myself having ''statistics'' hurled at me like so much stale confetti. We cannot boil people down to numbers!
-->--'''''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoViceCity''''', ''Pressing Issues''

->(Antimony and Reynardine approach door, Antimony is wearing a headband with attached antennae.)\\
'''Antimony''': Hello. I would like to enter, please.\\
'''Doorbot''': Robots onl... what's that on your head?\\
'''Antimony''': These are my antennas, because I am clearly a robot.\\
'''Doorbot''': Oh! Well... it's true that some robots have antennas... hmm...\\
'''Antimony''': Also, robots never lie.\\
'''Doorbot''': Hey, you're right! Come on in, friends!\\
'''Antimony''': We are looking for a particular robot. A... '''fellow''' robot. Because we are also robots.\\
'''Doorbot''': Administration is right down that way.\\
'''Reynardine''': [[SincerityMode Your powers of deception and trickery are bewildering, child]].
-->-- ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt''

->''My eyes settled on their dining room table. There was a stack of money, wrapped with a paper band just as the money in the lunchbox had been. Beside the money, plain as day, was the dark gray metal of a handgun.''
->''My attention caught by the gun, I only barely caught my dad’s question. “What are they like?”''
->''“They seem like good people."''
-->-- '''Taylor''' to her father '''Dan Hebert''', ''Literature/{{Worm}}''

->“[[MercyKill She’s my friend.]]”\\
“[[FalseFriend Was,]]” [[FriendlessBackground I said.]] “It’s a big difference.”\\
Sundancer looked at the mound of ice, rock and forcefields. Echidna was thrusting her clawed hands through the barriers, only for them to be reinforced.\\
“[[HorrorHunger Are there… does she have anyone inside her?]]”\\
“There’s-” Tattletale started. I flew a bug into her mouth and down her throat, and she choked.\\
“No,” I lied. “I’ve been keeping track with my bugs. Weld and the others got everyone out.”\\
''Saved everyone they could.'' If Weld had backed out and nobody else was able to free the small handful that were still trapped, that was it.\\
[[TheNeedsOfTheMany Nobody was correcting me.]] They knew, but they weren’t correcting me.\\
-->--''Literature/{{Worm}}''


to:

-->--'''DuckSoup'''

->'''Dougal:''' Why didn't you lie to him?\\
'''Ted:''' I did! I told him great big massive lies with feckin' bells hanging off them!
-->--''Series/FatherTed'', "Entertaining Father Stone"

->"Zozo? Never heard of it."
-->-- ''Thief standing by the entrance of [[WretchedHive Zozo]], VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI''

->'''Maurice Chavez''': [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Mr. Shrub]], you got elected on a campaign promising to reduce taxes to zero. But under your stewardship, we've seen taxes go up by 20% and services decline!\\
'''Alex Shrub''': No one is interested in your ''[[LiesDamnedLiesandStatistics statistics]]'', Chavez. Let me tell you something pal,
''Film/DuckSoup''

->'''Quill''': You look like Film/MaryPoppins!\\
'''Yondu''': [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Is he cool?]]\\
'''Quill''': ...[[MetaphoricallyTrue Hell yeah, he's cool.]]\\
'''Yondu:'''
I'm better than that. I will not--I shall not--I ''cannot'' stoop to your level! They assured me that this was a show that understood politics, where we can debate mano-a-mano. And I find myself having ''statistics'' hurled at me like so much stale confetti. We cannot boil people down to numbers!
-->--'''''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoViceCity''''', ''Pressing Issues''

->(Antimony and Reynardine approach door, Antimony is wearing a headband with attached antennae.)\\
'''Antimony''': Hello. I would like to enter, please.\\
'''Doorbot''': Robots onl... what's that on your head?\\
'''Antimony''': These are my antennas, because I am clearly a robot.\\
'''Doorbot''': Oh! Well... it's true that some robots have antennas... hmm...\\
'''Antimony''': Also, robots never lie.\\
'''Doorbot''': Hey, you're right! Come on in, friends!\\
'''Antimony''': We are looking for a particular robot. A... '''fellow''' robot. Because we are also robots.\\
'''Doorbot''': Administration is right down that way.\\
'''Reynardine''': [[SincerityMode Your powers of deception and trickery are bewildering, child]].
Marry Poppins, y'all!
-->-- ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt''

->''My eyes settled on their dining room table. There was
''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2''

->You have nice manners for
a stack of money, wrapped with thief, and a paper band just as the money in the lunchbox had been. Beside the money, plain as day, was the dark gray metal of a handgun.''
->''My attention caught by the gun, I only barely caught my dad’s question. “What are they like?”''
->''“They seem like good people."''
''LIAR!''
-->-- '''Taylor''' to her father '''Dan Hebert''', ''Literature/{{Worm}}''

->“[[MercyKill She’s my friend.]]”\\
“[[FalseFriend Was,]]” [[FriendlessBackground I said.]] “It’s a big difference.”\\
Sundancer looked at the mound of ice, rock and forcefields. Echidna was thrusting her clawed hands through the barriers, only for them to be reinforced.\\
“[[HorrorHunger Are there… does she have anyone inside her?]]”\\
“There’s-” Tattletale started. I flew a bug into her mouth and down her throat, and she choked.\\
“No,” I lied. “I’ve been keeping track with my bugs. Weld and the others got everyone out.”\\
''Saved everyone they could.'' If Weld had backed out and nobody else was able to free the small handful that were still trapped, that was it.\\
[[TheNeedsOfTheMany Nobody was correcting me.]] They knew, but they weren’t correcting me.\\
-->--''Literature/{{Worm}}''

'''Smaug''', ''Film/TheHobbitTheDesolationOfSmaug''



-->--''Film/KickAss''

-> [After she wakes up and sees their room-mate staring at her and her girlfriend's entangled bodies]\\
'''Paulie:''' She... she gets serious nightmares.
-->--''Film/LostAndDelirious''

->"Don't run! We are your friends!"
-->-- '''Martians''' while blasting everything in sight with laser guns, ''Film/MarsAttacks''

->'''Jon''': [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl FALCON]] [[VideoGame/{{F-Zero}} PAWNCH!]]\\
'''Evan''': [[SarcasmMode I wonder who you are.]]\\
'''Jon''': I'm, uh, Mario.\\
'''Azura''': Mario has the PAWNCH?\\
'''Jon''': Mario has a poncho. He's, uh, from Mexico.\\
'''Azura''': Sweet.\\
'''Ashley''': Or is he from Spain?\\
'''Jon''': Ethnic minority Mario! Collect them all!
-->--'''LetsPlay/ProtonJon''' and his friends, waiting for the [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl next match]] to begin

->'''Randall Flynn:''' I just want us to be friends.
-->--''Series/{{Revolution}}'', "[[Recap/RevolutionS1E7TheChildrensCrusade The Children's Crusade]]", from a man who says this twice to people who came to wish they never made a deal with him, and his definition of "friend" is quite twisted.

->'''Genesis P-Orridge:''' Uh, we're Music/ThrobbingGristle, and we'd just like to make a small announcement: all the sounds you hear tonight are generated live as we're playing, there are no prepared backing tapes and no Revoxes.\\
(tape plays)\\
'''Tape:''' Uh, we're Throbbing Gristle, and we'd just like to make a small announcement: all the sounds you hear tonight are generated live as we're playing, there are no prepared backing tapes and no Revoxes.
-->--''From a 1980 show at Sheffield University.''

->[Superintendent Chalmers sees Principal Skinner's kitchen is on fire]\\
'''Chalmers''': Good Lord! What is happening in there?!\\
'''Skinner''': [[ImplausibleDeniability Aurora Borealis.]]\\
'''Chalmers''': A- Aurora Borealis? ''At this time of year? At this time of day?'' '''''In this part of the country? LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN?!'''''\\
'''Skinner''': [[BluntYes Yes]].\\
'''Chalmers''': ({{beat}}) [[SeamlessSpontaneousLie ...may I see it?]]
-->--'''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'''

-> '''Wedge''': We'll need [[NoodleImplements a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing]].\\

to:

-->--''Film/KickAss''

-> [After she wakes up and sees their room-mate staring at her and her girlfriend's entangled bodies]\\
'''Paulie:''' She...
-->-- ''Film/KickAss''

->She...
she gets serious nightmares.
-->--''Film/LostAndDelirious''

->"Don't
-->-- '''Paulie''' caught entangled with her girlfriend by a roommate, ''Film/LostAndDelirious''

->Don't
run! We are your friends!"
friends!
-->-- '''Martians''' The Martians while blasting everything in sight with laser guns, ''Film/MarsAttacks''

->'''Jon''': [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl FALCON]] [[VideoGame/{{F-Zero}} PAWNCH!]]\\
'''Evan''': [[SarcasmMode
->I did say that, but nothing I wonder who ever told you are.]]\\
'''Jon''': I'm, uh, Mario.
was true.
-->-- '''Mark''' to Amber, ''Film/{{The Other Woman|2014}}''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]

->It was a difficult time. I did all that I could to protect my House and then other members of Court in attendance. More's the pity that I could not save that usurping, traitorous bitch.
-->-- '''Lara Raith''' in one of her blunter moments, ''Literature/WhiteNight''

->My eyes settled on their dining room table. There was a stack of money, wrapped with a paper band just as the money in the lunchbox had been. Beside the money, plain as day, was the dark gray metal of a handgun.
\\
'''Azura''': Mario has My attention caught by the PAWNCH?\\
'''Jon''': Mario has
gun, I only barely caught my dad's question. "What are they like?"\\
"They seem like good people."
-->-- ''Literature/{{Worm}}''

->[[MercyKill "She's my friend."]]\\
[[FalseFriend "Was,"]] [[FriendlessBackground I said.]] "It's
a poncho. He's, uh, from Mexico.big difference."\\
Sundancer looked at the mound of ice, rock and forcefields. Echidna was thrusting her clawed hands through the barriers, only for them to be reinforced.
\\
'''Azura''': Sweet.[[HorrorHunger "Are there... does she have anyone inside her?"]]\\
"There's-" Tattletale started. I flew a bug into her mouth and down her throat, and she choked.
\\
'''Ashley''': Or is he from Spain?\\
'''Jon''': Ethnic minority Mario! Collect them all!
-->--'''LetsPlay/ProtonJon'''
"No," I lied. "I've been keeping track with my bugs. Weld and his friends, waiting for the [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl next match]] to begin

->'''Randall Flynn:''' I just want us to be friends.
-->--''Series/{{Revolution}}'', "[[Recap/RevolutionS1E7TheChildrensCrusade The Children's Crusade]]", from a man who says this twice to people who came to wish
others got everyone out."\\
''Saved everyone
they never made a deal with him, could.'' If Weld had backed out and his definition of "friend" is quite twisted.

->'''Genesis P-Orridge:''' Uh, we're Music/ThrobbingGristle, and we'd just like
nobody else was able to make a free the small announcement: all the sounds you hear tonight are generated live as we're playing, there are no prepared backing tapes and no Revoxes.handful that were still trapped, that was it.\\
(tape plays)\\
'''Tape:''' Uh, we're Throbbing Gristle, and we'd just like to make a small announcement: all the sounds you hear tonight are generated live as we're playing, there are no prepared backing tapes and no Revoxes.
-->--''From a 1980 show at Sheffield University.''

->[Superintendent Chalmers sees Principal Skinner's kitchen is on fire]\\
'''Chalmers''': Good Lord! What is happening in there?!\\
'''Skinner''': [[ImplausibleDeniability Aurora Borealis.]]\\
'''Chalmers''': A- Aurora Borealis? ''At this time of year? At this time of day?'' '''''In this part of the country? LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN?!'''''\\
'''Skinner''': [[BluntYes Yes]].\\
'''Chalmers''': ({{beat}}) [[SeamlessSpontaneousLie ...may I see it?]]
-->--'''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'''

-> '''Wedge''':
[[TheNeedsOfTheMany Nobody was correcting me.]] They knew, but they weren’t correcting me.
-->-- ''Literature/{{Worm}}''

->'''Wedge''':
We'll need [[NoodleImplements a wheeled transport, one of the flatcam units our pursuers are carrying, and four sets of women's clothing]].\\



''(In the next chapter, [[GilliganCut the four pilots are in women's clothing]])''\\

to:

''(In (''In the next chapter, [[GilliganCut the four pilots are in women's clothing]])''\\clothing]]'')\\



'''Wedge''': I did. [[AssInAmbassador With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come the realization that lies can be powerful motivators.\\

to:

'''Wedge''': I did. [[AssInAmbassador With my brilliant achievements in the diplomatic profession]] has come [[CaptainObvious the realization that lies can be powerful motivators.\\]]\\



-->-- ''[[Literature/XWingSeries Starfighters of Adumar]]''

to:

-->-- ''[[Literature/XWingSeries X-Wing: Starfighters of Adumar]]''
Adumar]]''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]

->Sometimes the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying.
-->-- ''Series/BurnNotice''

->I'll just go in this police box and arrest myself.
-->-- '''The Doctor''', whose spaceship resembles a police box, ''Series/DoctorWho''

->'''The Doctor''': I don't suppose you've completely ignored my instructions and secretly prepared any Nitro-9, have you?\\
'''Ace''': What if I had?\\
'''The Doctor''': Naturally, you wouldn't do anything so insanely dangerous as to carry it around with you, would you?\\
'''Ace''': Of course not. I'm a good girl, I do what I'm told.\\
'''The Doctor''': Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.\\
'''Ace''': (''delighted grin'')
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Silver Nemesis"

->'''Dougal:''' Why didn't you lie to him?\\
'''Ted:''' I did! I told him great big massive lies with feckin' bells hanging off them!
-->-- ''Series/FatherTed'', "Entertaining Father Stone"

->The truth.
-->-- '''Patrick Kielty''', answering "Unlikely Things to Hear in a TV Election Debate", Series/''MockTheWeek''

->I just want us to be friends.
-->-- '''Randall Flynn''', a man who says this twice to people who came to wish they never made a deal with him, and his definition of "friend" is quite twisted, ''Series/{{Revolution}}'', "[[Recap/RevolutionS1E7TheChildrensCrusade The Children's Crusade]]"

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]

->'''Genesis P-Orridge:''' Uh, we're Music/ThrobbingGristle, and we'd just like to make a small announcement: all the sounds you hear tonight are generated live as we're playing, there are no prepared backing tapes and no Revoxes.\\
(''tape plays'')\\
'''Tape:''' Uh, we're Throbbing Gristle, and we'd just like to make a small announcement: all the sounds you hear tonight are generated live as we're playing, there are no prepared backing tapes and no Revoxes.
-->-- From a 1980 show at Sheffield University

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]

->Please excuse Calvin from class today. His genius is urgently required on a top secret matter of national security.\\
Sincerely, The President.\\
P.S. Really.
-->-- A letter given to [[SternTeacher Mrs. Wormwood]], ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''

->'''Dilbert''': Why have you ignored my request, Ted?\\
'''Ted''': I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels.\\
'''Wally''': He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie.\\
'''Dilbert''': I demand a ''plausible'' lie!\\
'''Ted''': Okay, maybe I ''wasn't'' killed by giant military squirrels. But I ''was'' imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth.\\
'''Wally''': You can't prove that one either way.\\
'''Dilbert''': He did say it was a "secret" lair.
-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]

->'''Cop''': What's going on, sir? You seem to be injured.\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Oh, this! I got to tell you, some fucking psycho just cut my fucking hand off and made limb stew out of those three mutilated fuckers floating around the boat, here. He's swimming that way if you want to fucking catch the bastard.\\
'''Cop''': Sir, have you been drinking?\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': I had a few chardonnays, what else?\\
'''Cop''': You're going to have to come with us.\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Alright, Sherlock Holmes, I killed them. But, you'll never catch me 'cuz I'm the [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal fastest fucking]] butterfly swimmer in the fucking world!
-->-- '''Creator/AdamSandler''', "The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie"

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]

->Zozo? Never heard of it.
-->-- A thief standing by the entrance of [[WretchedHive Zozo]], ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI''

->'''Maurice Chavez''': [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Mr. Shrub]], you got elected on a campaign promising to reduce taxes to zero. But under your stewardship, we've seen taxes go up by 20% and services decline!\\
'''Alex Shrub''': No one is interested in your ''[[LiesDamnedLiesandStatistics statistics]]'', Chavez. Let me tell you something pal, I'm better than that. I will not -- I shall not -- I ''cannot'' stoop to your level! They assured me that this was a show that understood politics, where we can debate mano-a-mano. And I find myself having ''statistics'' hurled at me like so much stale confetti. We cannot boil people down to numbers!
-->-- ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoViceCity'', ''Pressing Issues''

->Hello i am in braille
-->-- A book translated from Morse Code, ''VideoGame/ASuperMarioThing''



''*[[RelaxOVision everyone is outside, with Jade alone with Dist in the room]]*''\\

to:

''*[[RelaxOVision (''[[RelaxOVision everyone is outside, with Jade alone with Dist in the room]]*''\\room]]'')\\



'''Dist''': *while the ground is shaking* ... AAAAAAHHH!! S-stop! Stop! You're killing me!! Jade, I'm sorryyyyyy!!!\\
'''Jade''': *comes out alone, completely deadpan* It seems the earthquakes have led to more frequent avalanches. Also, an extremely powerful monster has taken up residence in the deeper parts. The monsters in the area have likely grown aggressive due to at influence.\\

to:

'''Dist''': *while (''while the ground is shaking* ...shaking'') ... AAAAAAHHH!! S-stop! Stop! You're killing me!! Jade, I'm sorryyyyyy!!!\\
'''Jade''': *comes (''comes out alone, completely deadpan* deadpan'') It seems the earthquakes have led to more frequent avalanches. Also, an extremely powerful monster has taken up residence in the deeper parts. The monsters in the area have likely grown aggressive due to at influence.\\



-->--'''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'''

->"Ha ha! Germany! Russia! Is big American joke on Soldier! Ohh, America, it is the place I am from. All the time."
-->--'''Heavy''', VideoGame/TeamFortress2, [[http://www.teamfortress.com/shadowboxers/ Shadow Boxers]]

->'''Reimu:''' There's a limit, even to obvious lies.
-->--''VideoGame/{{Touhou}}''

->You have nice manners for a thief, and a '''''LIAR!'''''
-->--'''Smaug''', ''Film/TheHobbitTheDesolationOfSmaug''

-> '''FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY'''\\
[[Creator/BenCroshaw Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw]]
-->-- Part of the end credits in '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''', TomodachiLife

->I did say that, but nothing I ever told you was true.
-->--Mark, to Amber, in ''[[Film/TheOtherWoman2014 The Other Woman]]''

->'''Cop''': What's going on, sir? You seem to be injured.\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Oh, this! I got to tell you, some fucking psycho just cut my fucking hand off and made limb stew out of those three mutilated fuckers floating around the boat, here. He's swimming that way if you want to fucking catch the bastard.\\
'''Cop''': Sir, have you been drinking?\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': I had a few chardonnays, what else?\\
'''Cop''': You're going to have to come with us.\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Alright, Sherlock Holmes, I killed them. But, you'll never catch me 'cuz I'm the [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal fastest fucking]] butterfly swimmer in the fucking world!
-->-- The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie by '''Creator/AdamSandler'''

->Logan, I think we lost him!
-->--'''Deadpool''' regarding the Hulk who is three feet behind them, ''[[HulkVs Hulk Vs Wolverine]]''

to:

-->--'''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'''

->"Ha ha!
-->-- ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss''

->There's a limit, even to obvious lies.
-->--'''Reimu Hakurei''', ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}}''

->'''[[TheJudge Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu]]:''' Let's talk about you, instead. Yes, you are a little too comfortable with lying.\\
'''Marisa Kirisame:''' That isn't true. I haven't told a single lie since I was born.
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}} Kaeidzuka ~ Phantasmagoria of Flower View''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]

->I HAVE NO LASERS, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.
-->-- '''[[PaperThinDisguise Obviously-Not-Warmech]],''' ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater', "[[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2008/10/16/episode-1047-the-ol-180/ The Ol' 180]]"

->'''Maura:''' Hey, babe. Where've you been?\\
'''Clango:''' Nowhere! I briefly ceased to exist in time and space!\\
'''Maura:''' That doesn't sound suspicious at all.
-->-- ''Webcomic/DieselSweeties''

->'''Antimony''': Hello. I would like to enter, please.\\
'''Doorbot''': Robots onl... what's that on your head?\\
'''Antimony''': These are [[PaperThinDisguise my antennas,]] because I am clearly a robot.\\
'''Doorbot''': Oh! Well... it's true that some robots have antennas... hmm...\\
'''Antimony''': Also, robots never lie.\\
'''Doorbot''': Hey, you're right! Come on in, friends!\\
'''Antimony''': We are looking for a particular robot. A... ''fellow'' robot. Because we are also robots.\\
'''Doorbot''': Administration is right down that way.\\
'''Reynardine''': [[SincerityMode Your powers of deception and trickery are bewildering, child]].
-->-- ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt''

->'''Soldier:''' Come on, guys? Why would I ''lie?'' We're all Americans here!\\
'''Ms. Pauling:''' Well, not ''all'' of us, obviously. I mean, Medic's German and Heavy's from Russ-\\
'''[[HerrDoktor Medic:]]''' (''[[{{Ahem}} kaf]]'')\\
'''[[HuskyRusskie Heavy:]]''' (''[[BeQuietNudge nudge nudge]]'')\\
'''Ms. Pauling:''' Ow! What? Oh.\\
'''Heavy:''' Ha ha!
Germany! Russia! Is big joke! Big American joke on Soldier! Soldier!\\
'''Soldier:''' Ha! You got me!\\
'''Heavy:'''
Ohh, America, it is the place I am from. from. All the time."
-->--'''Heavy''', VideoGame/TeamFortress2,
time.
-->-- ''Webcomic/TeamFortress2'',
[[http://www.teamfortress.com/shadowboxers/ Shadow Boxers]]

->'''Reimu:''' There's a limit, even to obvious lies.
-->--''VideoGame/{{Touhou}}''

->You have nice manners for a thief, and a '''''LIAR!'''''
-->--'''Smaug''', ''Film/TheHobbitTheDesolationOfSmaug''

-> '''FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY'''\\
[[Creator/BenCroshaw Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw]]
-->-- Part of the end credits in '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''', TomodachiLife

->I did say that, but nothing
"Shadow Boxers"]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]

->'''Jon''': [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl FALCON]] [[VideoGame/{{F-Zero}} PAWNCH!]]\\
'''Evan''': [[SarcasmMode
I ever told wonder who you was true.
-->--Mark, to Amber, in ''[[Film/TheOtherWoman2014 The Other Woman]]''

->'''Cop''': What's going on, sir? You seem to be injured.
are.]]\\
'''Jon''': I'm, uh, Mario.
\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Oh, this! I got to tell you, some fucking psycho just cut my fucking hand off and made limb stew out of those three mutilated fuckers floating around '''Azura''': Mario has the boat, here. He's swimming that way if you want to fucking catch the bastard.PAWNCH?\\
'''Jon''': Mario has a poncho. He's, uh, from Mexico.
\\
'''Cop''': Sir, have you been drinking?\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': I had a few chardonnays, what else?\\
'''Cop''': You're going to have to come with us.
'''Azura''': Sweet.\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Alright, Sherlock Holmes, I killed them. But, you'll never catch me 'cuz I'm the [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal fastest fucking]] butterfly swimmer in the fucking world!
'''Ashley''': Or is he from Spain?\\
'''Jon''': Ethnic minority Mario! Collect them all!
-->-- The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie by '''Creator/AdamSandler'''

->Logan, I think we lost him!
-->--'''Deadpool''' regarding
''LetsPlay/ProtonJon'' and his friends, waiting for the Hulk who [[VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl next match]] to begin

->FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY
-->-- ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'', part of the end credits in for ''VideoGame/TomodachiLife''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]

->'''Superintendent Chalmers''': (''spots Skinner's burning kitchen'') Good Lord! What
is three feet behind them, ''[[HulkVs Hulk Vs Wolverine]]''happening in there?!\\
'''Principal Skinner''': [[ImplausibleDeniability Aurora Borealis.]]\\
'''Chalmers''': A-Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day?! ''In this part of the country?! LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN?!''\\
'''Skinner''': [[BluntYes Yes]].\\
'''Chalmers''': (''{{beat}}'') [[SeamlessSpontaneousLie May I see it?]]
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Real Life]]

->If you saw a bullet hit a bird and he told you he wasn't shot, you might weep at his courtesy, but you would certainly doubt his word.
-->-- '''Creator/EmilyDickinson'''

->Bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are.
-->-- '''Harry Frankfurt''', "On Bullshit"

[[/folder]]
8th May '17 4:17:57 PM rt2012
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

->'''Peter''': You look like ''Film/MaryPoppins''.\\
'''Yondu''': [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Is he cool?]]\\
'''Peter''': Hell yeah he's cool.
-->-- ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxyVol2''
8th May '17 12:05:01 AM TSBasilisk
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:


->Logan, I think we lost him!
-->--'''Deadpool''' regarding the Hulk who is three feet behind them, ''[[HulkVs Hulk Vs Wolverine]]''
14th Mar '17 6:34:27 AM cwf123
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->'''Cop''': What's going on, sir? You seem to be injured.\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Oh, this! I got to tell you, some fucking psycho just cut my fucking hand off and made limb stew out of those three mutilated fuckers floating around the boat, here. He's swimming that way if you want to fucking catch the bastard.\
'''Cop''': Sir, have you been drinking?\
'''Uncle Donnie''': I had a few chardonnays, what else?\
'''Cop''': You're going to have to come with us.\

to:

->'''Cop''': What's going on, sir? You seem to be injured.\
\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Oh, this! I got to tell you, some fucking psycho just cut my fucking hand off and made limb stew out of those three mutilated fuckers floating around the boat, here. He's swimming that way if you want to fucking catch the bastard.\
\\
'''Cop''': Sir, have you been drinking?\
drinking?\\
'''Uncle Donnie''': I had a few chardonnays, what else?\
else?\\
'''Cop''': You're going to have to come with us.\\\
14th Mar '17 6:34:07 AM cwf123
Is there an issue? Send a Message


'''Uncle Donnie''': Alright, Sherlock Holmes, I killed them. But, you'll never catch me 'cuz I'm the [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal|fastest fucking]] butterfly swimmer in the fucking world!

to:

'''Uncle Donnie''': Alright, Sherlock Holmes, I killed them. But, you'll never catch me 'cuz I'm the [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal|fastest [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal fastest fucking]] butterfly swimmer in the fucking world!
14th Mar '17 6:33:28 AM cwf123
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:


->'''Cop''': What's going on, sir? You seem to be injured.\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Oh, this! I got to tell you, some fucking psycho just cut my fucking hand off and made limb stew out of those three mutilated fuckers floating around the boat, here. He's swimming that way if you want to fucking catch the bastard.\
'''Cop''': Sir, have you been drinking?\
'''Uncle Donnie''': I had a few chardonnays, what else?\
'''Cop''': You're going to have to come with us.\
'''Uncle Donnie''': Alright, Sherlock Holmes, I killed them. But, you'll never catch me 'cuz I'm the [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal|fastest fucking]] butterfly swimmer in the fucking world!
-->-- The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie by '''Creator/AdamSandler'''
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Quotes.BlatantLies