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Two bits!
Probably the most infamous seven beats of music in the modern world, or at least high on the list, this lick appears everywhere. In music, it's a sting to end a piece; in other media, it appears in a joke and/or as a recognition signature, usually a knock—the first person taps out "shave-and-a-hair-cut," and waits for the "two bits" response.
While the tune is flexible, and the words change, it's always the same rhythm.
Examples:
- Used in classic style in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, complete with the demonstration that an animated character must, simply must, complete the line if "two bits" is omitted.
- Too many Looney Tunes cartoons to name right now.
- Animaniacs did this a lot, particularly with Yakko's songs.
- Used at the end of most Camp Lazlo episodes.
- West Side Story: "Gee Of-fi-cer Krup-ke, Krup You!"
- Most Muppet sketches on Sesame Street have these.
- One version of the "Mana-mana" Muppets sketch (where the pink... things have been appearing whenever Kermit says "phenomenon") ends with Sandra Bullock's psychiatrist character saying "you should see what happens whenever I say "Shave and a haircut"... Cue a giant furry monster appearing out of nowhere, lounged across her desk: "Two bits!"
- Phil Ken Sebben in Harvey Birdman Attorney At Law: "Shave and a haircut, two ti-whoah, hold on"
- A non-humorous, punny example was used on an episode of Tales from the Crypt: after the Cryptkeeper, dressed as a barber, snips someone's ear off, we hear the victim scream. The Cryptkeeper then holds up the severed ear, sings this, and laughs.
- Known on Discworld as "Shave and a haircut, no legs" being the jingle of the Guild of Barber Surgeons.
- Mexican viewers are usually amused by its use on American TV, because the Shave and a Haircut in Mexico means "fuck your mother, asshole".
- This Troper has no idea where the pairing originates, but the phrase "hasta la vista, baby" fits the sting almost perfectly.
- Toph of Avatar The Last Airbender knocked on a door this way in the Grand Finale, but instead of knocking the "bits" part she knocked said steel door down. She then turned it into armor, and used it to defeat multiple superpowered firebenders in a couple seconds.
- Nardwuar The Human Serviette ends all his interviews with "doot doola doot-doo" and the interviewee provides the "doo-doo" at the end.
- Argentinian comic Carlos "Carlitos" Balá had this in his TV sketches as his signature greeting or knocking, using it each time he could. The first part, if not used for knocking, would be vocalized by him as "pa-pa-ra-ra-pa", and a chorus of childrens' voices would be heard responding with his last name: "Ba-lá!".
- According to John McCain's autobiography, Vietnamese people are incapable of tapping out Shave And A Haircut, and he and other American POWs would use it to hail each other through walls.
- Several Three Stooges short subject films have them. Usually a stooge (usually Curly) would tap something (usually a wall) and get a response from whatever is on the other side (usually some kind of monster). They would mirror it perfectly until the "shave and a haircut" part was tapped out. A delay, a "nyuk nyuk", a "two bits" response, and you know the rest.
- Truth In Television: While bored at work, This Troper once tapped out the "Shave and a haircut..." bit on his desk repeatedly. It wasn't long before someone in another cubicle stood up, exasperated, and screamed "TWO BITS!"
- A popular variation in the UK was "How's your father? All right!" - the first part of which became slang for a certain act, as in "A bit of 'ows-yer-father".
- Victor Borge had a comedy bit about the lady who invented the "two bits" part, but without words so it was an unrecognizable couple if notes until the punchline where the phrase was played in full.
- In nearly every one of his polka medleys, "Weird Al" Yankovic includes "Shave and a Haircut" right before the final few notes.
- During Johnny Carson's hosting of The Tonight Show, the band would frequently end the opening theme with "Shave and a Haircut".
- On Scrubs, J.D. visits Dr. Cox at home and knocks "shave and a haircut" on his door. Cox, exasperated, whips it open during the pause. J.D.: "Two bits."
- In the Goon Show "The Great Bank Of England Robbery" Neddie, Eccles and Bloodnok are trapped underground and when tapping on the walls and receiving mysterious replies Eccles taps out the first part and, in the silence that follows ribs the listeners for expecting the second part, only to be interrupted by the *Two Bits!* tap.
- At the end of Tom Lehrer's The Elements. That's all the el-e-ments, for now.
- Ace Ventura used this in the Animated Adaptation: He suspects he's being followed and does the "Shave and Haircut" on his car, since the other card responded with the two bits, he knows he's being followed.
- The Simpsons had it at the end of the Presidents Day assembly's song for "lesser" President.
- The shortest musical single ever released was called "Magic Melody, Part 2," by Les Paul. It consisted entirely of "two bits!" and lasted less than one second. Part 1 had ended abruptly on "Shave and a Haircut," and D Js had been complaining.
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