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Just For Fun: TV Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows Cellblock C

  1. Although I will make backup plans for my possible death, this will not design this part of the plan to be a core element.
  2. My retirement plan for myself is going to have enough challenges to keep my genius occupied. Too many accomplished villains grow bored with enjoying their victory and go back to fighting battles they have already won (thus setting themselves up for defeat at the hands of a hero) purely out of nostalgia.
  3. I will make sure that I have one person in my evil council whose job it is to argue against anything suggested. He will not be punished for disagreeing with me.
    1. He will be punished for not arguing from useful facts. I need holes in the plans pointed out; I don't need a plan criticized because I had to use an uglier design since it works more efficiently.
  4. I shall remember, if I'm forced to use mind control to make my plans succeed, I will ensure only I can remove it of my own free will, I will ensure killing me will cause all the affected to die horribly, and I will make sure that only a certain state of mind, unaltered by any outside influence will enable the removal of the mind control. I will also make sure, when the hero attempts Talking the Monster to Death to get me to remove it I will either shoot said hero before they speak, use the monolouge to get my troops or myself in a position to do this, or, assuming my mind control has an area of effect I can use to my advantage to eliminate the hero, I will get the hero within range and humor a debate with said hero until I can either mind control and/or kill said hero.
  5. I will remember to be at least nice. That way, if an Archangel or some other similar bring tears through my minions, blows a hole in the wall, and hold his sword to my throat, I will have a valid reason for him/her not to kill me.
  6. If the hero tries to sway me to the side of good, rather than outright rejecting him or lying and telling him that I will henceforth be good, I will tell him something to the effect of "Your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter." From here, this can go a few ways: either the hero will feel extremely awkward at the thought that he has no newsletter, distracting him long enough for me to do him in; he will present me with the newsletter and leave me be in order to read it; or he will feel awkward but not be distracted and go to make a newsletter for me to subscribe to. Either way, he's out of my hair for the time being.
  7. If I am forced to choose between Evil and Overlord, I will choose Overlord. Sure, Evil qua Evil is nice and all, but it's power that pays the bills. Plus, when I eventually do return to my Evil schemes, I will most likely find it much easier, having built up a track record of Good and effective governance in the meantime.
  8. Before I place a curse on anyone, I will make sure it isn't broken by True Love's Kiss or something easy like that. I'll either use one that can't be broken or, better yet, one that can only be broken by having me willingly kiss them.
    1. And be prepared for the possibility that I just might have to kiss them.
  9. I will never outlaw smiling, hugs, flowers, or "being nice". I might not like any of that stuff, but ruling a whole country of assholes and people forced to be assholes will just make everyone annoyed and miserable, cause rampant crime and vandalism, send my public relations into the toilet, and lower property values.
  10. I will take my cues from Stephen Harper, not Russell Hantz.
  11. When it comes to promoting minions, I will follow a strict form of promotion granting. Those who kiss up all the time will not be promoted, as it only brings animosity to other troops. Butt kissing will only be used as a tie breaker if the butt kisser is as strong, intelligent, cunning, loyal and effective a leader as the other candidate.
  12. If I brainwash someone into becoming my sleeper agent who forwards my evil plans without their knowledge, I will not have the brainwashing wear off when my sleeper agent finishes the last task I gave him. They will simply return to an initial state where more instructions can be provided.
  13. I will never attempt to trap or kill any hero by challenging him to any contest that I have designed and prepared. Any hero foolish enough to take me up on that is no real threat in the first place. Nevertheless, any hero that actually does enter into such a contest is certain to defeat both the trap and me through some combination of courage, luck, psychologically impossible moments of brilliance, and/or the inevitable-yet-unpredictable intervention of his friends. Best not even to try this route.
  14. I will wear bright colors where bright colors are the norm and darker colors where darker colors are the norm. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, right?
  15. If my plan is to conquer the world, I will ensure I have read Sun Tzu's The Art of War before my military campaign.
  16. If I have a One-Winged Angel form, I will ensure that the process of transformation lasts a fraction of a second to ensure that I am not attacked while doing so. If I have more than one, I will immediately use the most powerful form and kill everyone before something bad invariably happens.
  17. After destroying the home planet of the only race that can possibly challenge me, I will order the entire star system scanned for escape pods before doing anything else. I will also kill the only survivors instead of letting them work for me.
  18. If I manage to capture and mind control/brainwash one of the heroes, I will not send them back to their companions with instructions to lead them into a trap, or backstab them. Double-or-nothing is an elementary gambling mistake. Instead, I will seize the opportunity to do some permanent damage by ordering my new slave to turn around, then executing them.
  19. I will never casually assume the heroes won't employ some of their more morally questionable options because they're too good for it. If all goes according to plan, there's a good chance they'll treat my decisive victory as a Godzilla Threshold.
  20. On second thought...
    1. I must neither now nor ever assume that tropers here are not as Genre Savvy as they think they are. More often than not, since there are corollaries to many of the original rules, the Dumbass Has a Point.
    2. Even a private quiet wedding isn't a hot idea. Contraceptives are not always reliable.
    3. Those commemorative coins in rule #79 can be just like a fingerprint or shoeprint as a means of identification. And who knows just what the hero can do with one of those damn things?
    4. Internet access is a highly effective means of keeping people in a trance. Nevertheless, a young user may eventually find and make excellent use of any website where Pop Culture is not the main focus. For that reason, I shall install veteran guards in these areas to survey their activities.
    5. Likewise with basic cable, especially Reality Television. For that reason, Monday evenings (The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars) will be a key point for any significant activity regarding my realm. On the other hand, any program on which there has been a report of Flipping the Table will be subjected to the equivalent of a drive scrubbing.
  21. My legions of evil will not be Faceless Goons and they will all wear helpful "Hello, my name is..." nametags so I know who to punish if they step out of line.
  22. If I eliminate anyone, I will not forbid speaking of his name. I will simply eradicate him from the public record in every available way, from removing mentions of him from microfiched newspapers to removing his presence from social networks. Ultimately, no one will mourn him, and no one will avenge him, because no one will even remember him.
  23. If I lay waste to a town, I will make sure that I laid complete waste to it, so that no one survives. And then I will have every surrounding town laid waste to, just to make absolutely sure. I'm a villain, after all... I'm not supposed to be nice.
  24. If I see an escape pod leaving a vessel I have just commandeered, I will destroy the escape pod, even if there doesn't appear to be anyone on board (because why else would it be leaving?). Ammo may not be cheap, but the saying goes, "pay now or pay later."
  25. Should a major uprising against my government begin, I will NOT go on a murderous rampage against the protesters, fighting tooth and nail for every last inch of the country; that just generates horrible PR issues up the wazoo. I will instead try to negotiate a settlement with the rebels taking over in exchange for me being immune to prosecution, and living out the rest of my life in relative luxury. Not only is it good PR, there's always the chance that the rebels will run things so bad that the people will beg for me to come back.
  26. If it is possible to obtain other Genre Savvy guides, I will do so immediately, and use their tactics when a situation occurs which makes the tactics contained in this list ineffective or counterproductive.
  27. When I learn that an oracle has made a prophecy detailing my demise at the hands of the newborn child destined to destroy me, I will not take any measures to kill the boy, relocate him to a faraway land, or sway him to my side. Not only are these methods and strategies extremely likely to fail if they don't backfire entirely, but doing so will actually bring about my foretold demise.
    1. Just in case ignoring the problem doesn't defeat the prophecy, I will have a few options. First, I will set up a scheme in the event the Chosen One does manage to penetrate my fortress to kill me; this scheme will be designed to kill him with no harm to me at best; at worst, I can at least take him with me. If that seems likely to fail though, I will instead attempt an escape long before he arrives as an alternative. I can then spend months in exile coming up with a plan for my return. This will prove extremely effective if the prophecy only states that the "Chosen One" will only end my reign of terror. When all else fails, I will simply allow the prophecy to be fulfilled and twist the end result to harm or kill the hero in the process, and possibly even allow for my resurrection.
  28. I will forgive any and every wrongdoing and injustice done to me in my childhood. That was in the past, and the culprits have likely grown up (if they were kids), or have forgotten the event or it no longer means anything to them. Either way, hatching a plan just to avenge this single event won't do me any good.
  29. If I am planning to invite ANYONE to my fortress as a PR stunt, I will never do so while preparing to execute the final stages of my plan. Also, anyone I intend to invite in this manner will be investigated as soon as possible. Invitations will not be sent or announced until I am satisfied with this background check.
  30. If a new employee, passing traveler, or guest I've invited bests me at a simple game I would normally win - poker, snooker, go-karts, or whatever challenge I happen to issue to them - I will interrogate and kill them immediately. That man (or woman, or teenager) is a government spy.
  31. I will not bug my guest's rooms with a single microphone - a minimum of three microphones and four cameras will be installed in every room, including the bathrooms. (I won't exempt my own bedchambers and private bathroom from this security measure.) I will not limit installing security cameras and microphones to the bedrooms: ALL of the rooms in my fortress, AND all the hallways, AND any and EVERY secret passageway to and around my fortress will be monitored with as much security.
  32. I will jam all wireless communications and radio frequencies in and around my fortress. Any outward communications will be done via direct, wired communications through monitored channels. All points of access for communications will be monitored and secured by password. Any unauthorized or forced entry will trigger an alarm. I will also remind my Legions of Terror that personal calls can wait until after my evil plan is complete.
  33. If I intend for my nemesis to unwittingly activate my superweapon during a PR stunt, I will secretly be carrying a second remote trigger for the superweapon. If the crowd starts to panic over an exciting entrance by the hero, I will activate the weapon and hightail it out of there.
  34. I will not use a fingerprint-sensitive button calibrated to my nemesis’s fingerprints to activate my superweapon during a PR stunt, or ever. If I install such a device, I will calibrate it to my fingerprints as well, in advance.
  35. Despite the effect it gives to guests in my fortress, I will not keep my deadly aquatic pet in a giant glass tank, particularly when I intend to use the tank to kill any henchmen that fail or disappoint me, or possibly heroes that come to stop me. Six-inch-thick portholes can be just as dramatic.
  36. If my plan involves replacing high-status individuals with surgically altered clones of myself, I will not waste time by waiting for all my targets to be replaced to dispose of all the originals at once. Instead, I will kill each one as he/she is being replaced.
    1. Furthermore, it occurs to me that it may be prudent to clone my supportive female cohort a few times, as well, just to throw any suspicious persons off my tail. She will also appreciate the surprisingly romantic gesture, including her in my plan to such a degree.
  37. If my plan relies on the assistance of a gambling addict, I will kill him as soon as I am finished with him. They are easy to control, but can become greedy quickly. And they tend to gamble with everything, especially with Evil Overlords and Death
  38. Under no circumstances am I to reveal my plans to the hero, especially when he plays a crucial role in it. If I ever succumb to the pressure and tell him everything, I will kill him at immediately afterward, not in an elaborate deathtrap the following morning.
  39. If my men find an otherwise innocuous item that contains an advanced system or mechanism in a guest’s or employee’s room, I will confiscate ALL items from the room, regardless of how innocent they seem. I will also order a full-body search of the individual, and remove everything, including jewelry and clothing. (If they protest, I will provide them with a fresh set of clothing, one from my own wardrobes). Any confiscated items will be secured in my own quarters, NOT left in the guest’s own room.
  40. I will resist any urge to taunt my enemy during my escape. For instance, if flying away via helicopter, I will not stop to wave goodbye at them.
  41. Despite any similarities they have, I will not keep an enemy agent alive because they resemble a lost family member or friend. I will also not offer to let them join me; if they were determined enough to become my enemy, then nothing I can do can convince them to join me. As much as it would break my heart, it would be far better to just kill them immediately.
  42. If my plan involves derailing a high political figure, I will kill him once I am finished with him, not keep him drunken and embarrassed in the dilapidated building right next to my fortress.
  43. The keycard I use to activate my superweapon will be the swipe-and-withdraw kind, not the kind that has to be kept in the machine to keep it activated. I will take the keycard with me so nobody else can deactivate it. Better yet, I will keep a portable shredder handy and destroy the card as soon as I’m finished with it.
  44. I will make it clear to my security precisely who I’ve invited to PR events. As such, if nobody I’ve invited is under the age of twenty, all teenagers and children are to be turned away at once regardless of whether or not they have a ticket.
  45. All trucks entering and leaving any of my secure installations will be searched top to bottom, on the inside AND on the outside.
    1. And there will be multiple guards to search them all at once, a nimble enough hero can manage to move from one place to the other in the time it takes for just one person to shift views.
  46. All sentries guarding my deathtrap obstacle course will check that all dead bodies really are dead. Preferably by stabbing the body in the back. Only when the sentries are satisfied that the body is well and truly dead are they to report the death, then carry the body out themselves for disposal. It might not always be clean or sanitary, but that’s why we have installations known as “showers.” (Or, if the mess is REALLY unsanitary, a special installation called a "decontamination shower.")
  47. If the hero escapes from me, I will order a full investigation on him. As a part of that, I will interview everyone in my organization to see if they know him; this includes the trained assassin I’ve hired.
  48. If the trained assassin I’ve hired refuses to kill the hero, I won’t even ask questions; I’ll kill him on the spot.
  49. I won’t waste time with chest shots; if at all possible, I will aim for the head with every kill. If this is not possible, I will gun down the hero first, and follow up every downed enemy with a headshot.
  50. I will not fund any lengthy, high-budget, venture capital project, such as a hotel in space. Despite the boost in PR that I desperately need, it may well come back to bite me if it starts running over budget and starts to eat away at my vast funds.
  51. I will remember what the plan is, what needs to happen, and any way the hero could possibly thwart it. If any item of my plan could be turned on me, I will seek a way to eliminate it while keeping the plan in motion. For example, if I send up a bomb into space, designed to push a space station into the Earth aimed at a specific target, along with one of my lieutenants to arm it, and a second rocket with the purpose of retrieving him, I will lock down or destroy this second rocket in the event that my operation is compromised at the last second. This will break my lieutenant’s heart, but at least the hero won’t have a chance to go into space after the bomb to disarm it.
    1. If any item of my plan could be turned on me, I will modify it so it cannot if at all possible. For example, I will just include an escape pod with my lieutenant, unless it's intended as a suicide mission anyway.
  52. When I calibrate the controls for the superweapon to my handprint, I will immediately lock down the controls to ensure that nobody else can access the controls and disarm it or – even worse – detonate it where it will have no effect.
  53. When sending my enemy to a secluded medical facility to harvest his organs – while a very profitable business strategy – I will add to the security of the facility and not rely on the token few henchmen I’ve stationed there. To be absolutely safe, I will confiscate ALL items on his person, especially the innocuous ones.
    1. When managing a secluded medical facility, I will ask all staff to keep carefully precise track of the number of surgical implements, diagnostic tools, and drugs. If the hero is being drugged, the nurses are to make sure that he actually took the pills, and that he hasn’t cheeked them.
    2. Related: All drugs will be administered via injection if at all possible.
  54. I will always consider the best assassination techniques for every situation. For example, if I want to eliminate a vehicle near one of my installations while holding a New-Year’s Day PR event, the fireworks can easily disguise the flash and sound of a rocket launcher.
  55. I will not have the hero unwittingly set the final phase of my plan in motion if the only reason for doing so is my own personal amusement.
  56. I will remember who has the bargaining power at all times. Even if the hero has the McGuffin I need to launch my evil plan and is threatening to destroy it, it won’t matter as long as I have his girlfriend.
    1. Wow, whoever submitted these last ten or so really loves their Alex Rider. (However, I have no argument with these very valid points.)
  57. (Originally from another theoretical, but never implemented list - hence why rules start at 300, are appended with x, and are stated in some instances as corollaries to actual rules in the Anspach Evil Overlord List ):
    1. 310x: Superweapons Provisions A)The Galvatron/Negaverse Wise Man Provision: If I come into possession of a weapon that supposedly fells even the most powerful of foes, I will not immediately rush off to his base and tell him to his face anything along the lines of "I now have that which you most fear!" Instead I will either test it on a lesser target, or get reliable results from the previous user.
    2. B) Corrollary to Rules 17 and 37: If my men tell me or I otherwise get wind that my superweapon is overheating and about to explode, I will NOT attempt to get one final shot off regardless...Hail Mary's look great in Football and Basketball but in the villan business they usually end up on Fox Network's "When Buildings Self Destruct." I will simply retreat with my weapon and wait for it to cool down.
    3. Rule 310x sec c: The Don Carnage Provision: If I have an unstoppable superweapon, it will be positioned so that I can shield it from incoming fire at a moment's notice. Failing that, my superweapon will be surrounded by tons of conventional weaponry in case someone finds a way to circumvent the superweapon and decides to go kamikaze.
    4. Rule 321x: The Common Courtesy Rules When sending my legions out to raid a village, I will generally tell them to kill everyone. If however I absolutely must let women and children or some men live, then there will be some simple rules I will follow. a) I will order my soldiers not to rape or torture anyone. Yeah I know these things seem entertaining but in the end they just waste resources, stir bad blood, and create vengenace fodder for future heroes. Besides nothing's worse than having your pants down when the enemy counter attacks. b) While I will tell my soldiers not to be overly cruel to their prisoners, I will also tell them that first and foremost their duty is to me, not the village woman about to have a baby or the fight between two of the prisoners that just broke out. As such, my soldiers will NEVER take their hands off of their guns for any matter pertaining to a prisoner. Any soldier seen putting his gun down to help an elderly woman up, or to break up a fight or to help any prisoner with anything will be summarily shot on the spot. c) It is not up to my soldiers to decide what my prisoners have coming, as an Evil Overlord thats my job. As such, my soldiers will be instructed NEVER to take one of the prisoners away from the pack to teach him or her a lesson of any kind, physical, sexual, or otherwise regardless of what he/she did to him. My soldier will simply make a note of it and we'll sort it out when they return to my base.
    5. Rule 323x: The Recon Rule I will have good recon period. I will know where everything in my kingdom/world is and what it does period. That way the hero will not be able to venture out into the unknown lands beyond the edge of the world and find some weapon that I didn't know existed. If for some reason it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to get good recon on a location, like say Wonderland or The Forest of No Return, then I will take one of two actions:
      1. 1) I will raze it, kill the inhabitants, and turn it into a parking lot. That way I will know exactly where it is, what's in it, and what they do.
      2. 2) Failing that, I will barricade the way in and out of this location and place my guards around it in quarantine while I find some way to make a probe that will give me accurate recon. Anyone entering or leaving will be shot/otherwise terminated.
    6. 323x c: I will know where all wormholes in my kingdom or generated by magic lead to. I will know where all bottomless pits lead to. I will know whether there is an alternate escape route from either of these places, and if there is then I will have troops guarding that exit (s) constantly.
    7. Rule 324x: The Flexibility Rule: Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are good evil empires. I will use no plan that gives me total control but requires me to have good timing, and can only be executed once a millenia at a certain location. I will instead go with smaller plans that have decent windows of opportunity and are easily adaptable if the situation changes.
    8. The Final Rule: After I have conquered existence, crushed the men, listened to the laments of the women, and generally cemented my place as an Evil Overlord, I absolutely WILL NOT make a list describing how I became an Evil Overlord, detailing the do's and don'ts of despotism. You see, at this point I would know what I was talking about, and my advice would be sound measure to study, both for any would be Evil Overlords who wish to succeed me, and Heroes who wish to know how I think so they can destroy me. Problem is, both of these people would most certainly be another pitfall in attaining and maintaining my status as an Evil Overlord, and when you get down to it, isn't preventing these kinds of threats to my rule the whole point of this list?
  58. I will have an extensive command structure and only communicate with the rest of my organization with nigh impenetrable encryption and codes. As such, my identity will remain hidden. The hero can't stop who he doesn't know, and it's far more intimidating for the masses for the identity of the evil one terrorizing them to be a mystery.
    1. The Illuminati Rule: As much as possible, I'll also try to ensure that my organization itself and it's acts of evil can be blamed on others or can't be traced back to it.
  59. Regarding self destruct devices: there have been a number of additions to the list regarding the use of self destruct devices to prevent the hero from using my own weapons against me. This is all well and good, however all self destruct devices in my equipment will follow this rule: the self destruct will be no more powerful than is necessary to make the equipment useless and non-functional. If I can vaporize the electronics of a vehicle, and make it fall to pieces without harming a hair on anyone else's head, I will do so. Why? Well a big kaboom for a self destruct device looks cool, and can certainly do a lot of damage to the hero if it succeeds. It also is handing the hero free munitions: if the hero learns that I put nukes in all my equipment that detonate when tampered with, the first thing he's going to do when he runs out of ammo is to take something off of one of my guards and cross the wires to get a free grenade.
  60. Regarding tracking devices (which have also been mentioned in this list): well and good, but I will ensure that said tracking devices are one way beacons only - from the equipment to me. That is if I use tracking devices at all: once again, me putting a tracking device in something is me potentially doing the hero's job for them - anything I can track, they can track as well, and if the guard next to my throne has one of these tracking devices...
  61. When me and the hero are fighting over the MacGuffin, if for some reason, even though I've apparently beaten them, they stand up, with a badass look in their eye, and say something like "you want the MacGuffin, TAKE THE MACGUFFIN!!!", I will immediately jump into my escape pod, flee, and blow up the base post haste: I clearly don't understand the power I was dealing with, and me taking the hero up on their offer would have resulted in my death.
  62. Codewords - if my officers are captured, they will be instructed to say something like "everything is A-OK" or something similar, that sounds reasonable and normal. This will be the cue to send in the elite shock troops, shoot on sight, and flood the corridors with knockout gas, as said codewords will only be said in times of durress, and the actual "everything is ok" signal will be something like "Situation Normal, reporting back in 5".
  63. If, for any reason, I decide to employ ninjas, I will make sure that they, contrary to my normal Legions of Terror fight the Hero one on one. And by 'fight,' I mean use every dirty trick in the book and anything they can think up to kill the Hero before he even knows they are there and only fight as a last resort.
    1. I shall also only hire one of them at a time, all from the same clan, and maintain a professional relationship and respect for the traditions of said clan, even if their beliefs clash with your own. (As a side note, should relations with said clan sour, the clan's lair shall be firebombed and any survivors hunted down and executed.)
      1. Related to the firebombing issue, I will never ever EVER deliberately attack a ninja clan because I think they might be working with the hero. I will instead do everything possible and within reason to recruit them to my side instead. (Alternatively, I will frame the Hero for the firebombing.)
      2. In addition, I will make sure that any ninjas I employ are not possessed by any Eldritch Abomination that they might lose control of in a tense situation.
  64. I will not be a sociopath or a social isolate. Being able to model my enemies' thoughts and feelings in my own mind is useful. Thus, in my evenings, weekends and holidays I will maintain a healthy, reasonable social life with several friends and hobbies. Besides, it's always important to leave a good impression in the community.
    1. If the President of the United States can do it, so can I!
  65. I will never deploy an infantry invasion against an enemy replete with wizards, witches, arch-mages, mahou shoujo, or any other form of magic-users. While in tech-heavy universes, specifically ethnocidal viruses are difficult to create, the equivalent magical effect is dirt easy. More than one aspiring Overlord has found his/her-self magically thrown continents away from their target, their armies battered and maimed, due solely to the magical equivalent of a semi-permeable cell membrane.
    1. From someone who tried that: and if it conveniently turns out that only one person is the specific key to the area-effect weaponry or defenses, I will not drug, disable, or mind-control him in a complicated infiltration plot. I'll just kill him as soon as I get close.
  66. Rather than using my vast propaganda machines to teach the population at large, and thus my prospective enemies, to fear and loathe me, I will use it to teach them the values of pacifism and nonviolence. Idealistic nonviolent activists are far easier to kill than real heroes.
  67. If I have a four-part plan,I will make sure to have a fifth part.
  68. My bases will have extremely strict safety requirements and I will have regular tests of failsafes. Keeping my mooks safe improves moral, makes sure I don't lose them needlessly, the Hero will not be able to push them off ledges, easily tamper with my machinery, and the destruction of my base would be more likely to leave more of my troops alive to fight another day.
  69. While factories spewing pollution add a wonderfully villainous ambiance, I will bear the cost of mitigating and preventing the environmental damage if there are any local nature spirits or guardians that can be persuaded by heroes to attack me. A few acres of land and unsustainably harvested timber are not worth an invasion by Ents.
  70. If I ever try to convince the hero to join me, I will have polished my debate skills enough to win the argument and leave the hero in doubt, even if I cannot turn him yet. I will ensure the hero is unable to return to his friends for moral support and strengthen his resolve. Once the Hero has come over to my side, I will make it my first priority to kill him/her anyway possible. Whether his defection is genuine or not, this is an ultimately better result than my situation before, or than it might become if the hero betrays me.
    1. Also, I will keep a tight lid on who knows the hero is dead. My trusted allies might be allowed to know, but if any of them seem shocked or dismayed, then I will execute them in secret. As for the hero's friends, I will only tell one of them at a time when we are alone. My goal will be to inspire raw feelings of vengeance, that will be their downfall, rather than resolve, which would be mine.
  71. I will not, repeat, will not install a MuffinButton on any of my ships.
  72. I will never answer my own doorbell, I remember how that worked out for Gerald Bull. That's why I have minions.
  73. If I can revive fallen elites in my army, I will remember not to send them against the hero for revenge; instead they will resume their original mission while the hero is miles and miles away.
    1. Alternately, I will teach them to cover their weaknesses...as giving them new powers may provide an opportunity to be defeated again.
  74. If I am successful and get the chance to make a wish that can come true, I WILL be as specific as possible when doing so... Eldritch Abominations or Artifacts of Doom I could use for this purpose could try to play the game of Hijacked by Ganon or Jackass Genie.
    1. Addenum, I will ensure that if at any time I can have a wish granted by such a being, I will have the wish in writing from my team of lawyers. Their job is to screw others over, and prevent me from being screwed, after all.
  75. If I ever obtain powers over time, I will go to the past and either A.) Kill the hero as a baby, or B.) Go back to the time after the Dinosaurs went extinct, less chance of opposition (aside from Native Mammals), and therefore easier to take over.
  76. If I should end up holding the hero in my tech-based telekinesis, I will not just casually toss him in to a wall and leave with out bothering to check if he survives. I will instead crush him with the aforementioned telekinesis until he resembles a smooth jelly.
  77. While having a motif is nice, and many make for some badass armor designs, they also make it easier for the hero to identify where I have influence. Therefore, I will forgo having a motif and keep my operations as nondescript as possible.
  78. When designing my personal suit of armor, I will take note of actual body armor. I'll probably actually want to take some cues from SWAT teams in that regard, too.
  79. I will try to force the Good Guys to use Weapons of Mass Destruction, or use them first. The stigma attached to such weaponry will turn otherwise-neutral parties to my side.
  80. Corollary to Rule #158: While the hero is likely to be surprised by the recipe for Grandma’s Potato Salad the first time, it also creates an uncertain situation. On the one hand, it could increase my standing among the masses. On the other, I could be boosting the morale of the hero and his allies.
  81. I will never torture anyone just to demonstrate how evil I am. This is a Bitch Alert waiting to happen.
  82. If all other security precautions fail and The Hero and his companions confront me, I will immediately rectify whatever it is that caused them to band together. Any families that were killed as collateral damage in my expansion campaigns will be buried with high honors and any razed towns, hamlets, cities, biodomes or whatever will be reconstructed. Either this will convince the heroes that I do have a heart (pffffft!) or they will otherwise just back down at the attempt to make amends.
  83. When installing security systems in my fortress I will remember that fish eye lenses can imbue security cameras with fields of vision in excess of 180 degrees, thereby removing the possibility of an infiltrator sneaking by them when they're turned the other way.
  84. If I install radio jammers or any form of machine that interferes with communication, I will keep them inside my base, in a locked room, filled with poisonous gas and the odd booby trap. I will ensure that they cannot be destroyed by simply having their screens punched out. Rather, anyone who attempts to do that will be electrocuted.
  85. I will allow my mooks to have regular contact with their families, so they will not turn on me due to loneliness. In fact, if costs allow, I will house their families in the same building as my mooks, so that they can never be used against them by an Anti-Hero.
  86. The best way to avoid being killed by a Hero is to ensure that I'm not the bloke with a bullet in his head. Having an identical clone, a mind-controlled twin, or else a puppet that is my public face is insanely useful. Alternatively, having some sort of inverse-shield that actually strengthens me every time someone tries to shoot me may be considered.
  87. When it comes to my Legions of Terror, I will ensure that all the Head Mooks will have a friendly rivalry with each other. That way, they will compete for my attention but not get vicious enough to fight internally.
  88. Each and every person that works for me will have several microphones and GPS trackers on them, so that I can always know where they are and if they are plotting against me.
  89. Every mook entering my service will have a thorough background check to ensure that they have no hidden grudges against me, my staff, or my predecessors.
  90. I will believe in the spirit of emulation. If someone who works for me does well, they will be rewarded. This boosts morale and encourages them to work harder. Punishment should usually be death, unless it would severely harm PR to do so. Then it should merely be a reduction of salary or deprivation of privileges.
  91. Before imprisonment, any captives will be given a thorough and complete cavity search by someone who is not sexually attracted to them in any way. Any guard disgusted by this duty will be summarily executed and replaced with a more willing employee.
  92. If the heroes send someone utterly ridiculous but that is capable of defeating any powerful villain because of it, i will send my most pathetic, clumsy minion against him. After all, if the Rule of Funny is what allows such a being to come on the top, nothing is fairer than to exploit the ridiculousness of the situation and gave him a taste of his own medicine, pitching him against someone that's more silly than he is, leading to his defeat since it's funny that way!
    1. Indeed, depending on how strong the Rule of Funny is tied to the very fabric of reality, I may conquer the world by simply sending my most idiotic mooks against the most competent heroes in the world.
  93. If a technique can defeat me once, I will learn it.
  94. I will not trust any single point off any of the preceding lists alone to render me Genre Savvy.
  95. If my Mad Scientist creates a new model of mech or robot armor I will have a mook use the new model and have him fight my strongest and most trusted lieutenant in the next most recent model. If my lieutenant wins I shall order the scientist to improve the new model and I shall destroy the model my lieutenant was using.
  96. Should I have the hero tied, disarmed and at my mercy, I will not untie him, give him back his weapon, and engage him in a duel just to prove my superiority. I will instead simply chop his head off.
  97. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and order the hero's execution in a forced brawl against several wild beasts instead of just shooting him, I will immediately have him shot if he overcomes the beasts.
  98. I don't care how cool it sounds. I will always have my gun cocked before going after the hero.
  99. After reading every item of the Evil Overlord List until they are etched into my memory, I will erase all traces of said lists, track down all parties who contributed to the list and eliminate them. I will then wear a mask of stupidity and track down any aspiring Evil Overlords and if I deem them dumb enough to fall for my facade, but competent enough to achieve a measure of success and pose a threat to mankind, recruit them to be a part of MY Legion of Terror, while playing the role of THEIR minion. During this time, I will scout any prospective heroes and arrange it so that all heroes and Overlords-in-Training meet up for a death match and eliminate each other for me. I will not waste any time in letting survivors catch their breath, executing them on the spot. I will bring guns, dagger, dirks, swords and shuriken to every encounter, have all weapons doused in poison and use any means at my disposal to ensure an advantage over allies and foes alike. After the dust settles, I will have my personal band play my theme song as I am declared Evilest of Evil Overlords.
    1. Also, anyone who's reading this in hopes of learning to be an Evil Overlord has a pistol to his skull. I am not gloating. Your brains just splattered your monitor.
    2. And any hero who's reading this in hopes of learning how to stop an Evil Overlord's plot has a pistol to his skull. I am not gloating. Your brains just splattered the monitor. Bitch.
    3. I'm going to flay, chop up in a meat grinder, and burn down the bodies and drop the ashes in a volcano of all prospective Overlords and Heroes too, just to ensure they aren't resurrected to take revenge.
  100. I will never, I repeat, NEVER, stop and make idle conversation, small talk, chit chat, gossip, etc. with the hero should I come across him. Should our paths cross, I will shoot him, stab him, poison him, choke him, drown him, decapitate him, flay and mutilate him, burn him, chop him up and use any and all supernatural powers I have to all around erase his existence from behind and ask questions later. Should we meet face to face, and he/she is destined to stop me and kick my ass (be it in that order or no), I will avoid one-on-one confrontation and instead send all of my forces at him at once and then follow the above procedure while he/she is distracted or wounded or both.
    1. However, if I meet The Hero in a place where neither of us can harm the other, e.g. the Spirit Realm, I will covertly tell my minions to go to their location and capture their physical body, while I distract them by talking about my beliefs/ how my day is going/ my TragicBackstory. If any seeds of doubt can be sown into their mind, it will give me yet another advantage should things go pear-shaped.
  101. Blood Knight though I may be, I will not attempt to best the Hero in single combat just to prove that I'm superior. If I have him at my mercy, I'll just kill him. He can't prove he's superior to me if his head is at my feet.
  102. My Legion of Terror will be equal opportunity employer but all applicant Mooks will have to pass a competency and physical aptitude test and will be placed in positions fit for their results. However, all of them will be given health benefits for them and their families, including life insurance so that low ranking mooks will have an incentive to go on suicide missions.
  103. I will build my fortress so that in the event that the alarm is raised, there will be a hall that my elite defense mooks are instructed to enter that has no windows, the entrance and exits automatically shutdown and no way to sabotage the hall. All Mooks will be instructed to shoot back to back and any mook that shoots facing one another deserves what he gets (if they don't die, they will not be killed but suffer a fatal accident).
    1. My Mooks will be given special headgear to protective from concussive/flash bangs, smoke bombs, and poison/noxious gasses so as not to be caught off guard and the hall will be specifically designed to immediately respond to any fires and or vapors that arise in the hall, instantly erasing them but not lasting long enough to give the hero and his gang any advantage should they possess certain elemental affinities.
  104. Much to my disgust, I will acknowledge it's a valuable skill to Know When to Fold 'Em.
  105. In the event I forget that holding the Idiot Ball is a Bad Thing and decide to place the hero in a Death Trap instead of executing him cleanly and quickly, I will watch the whole thing and have a squadron of my Legions of Terror on standby to gun down the hero if he escapes.
  106. When building my evil Fortress'O'Doom, I will make sure that the room holding all my weapons and/or explosives is a) always locked, guarded and watched and b) not right next to or under my main room of doom.
  107. If the land around my fortress is populated by giant worms, mutant insects or rabid zombies, I will put all my troops through a strict training course on how to avoid or kill them in event of a breach.
  108. When I have all the tunnels rigged with mines, pit-traps or swinging blade traps, I will make sure to inform my troops of the fact that there in the tunnels there are mines, pit-traps and swinging blade traps.
  109. I will remember that Even Evil Has Loved Ones and plan accordingly. I will not give my minions any reason to resent me and will in fact encourage Minion Shipping so that if the hero kills one or more of them, there is always someone with a very good reason to want the hero dead. I will engage in Villainous Friendships with my minions and especially my Dragon and lieutenants. I will engage in Unholy Matrimony rather than use a harem. Being able to call upon the Power of Love and the Power of Friendship is nothing to sneeze at.
  110. Before engaging in my Reign of Terror as a Villain with Good Publicity, I will hire an Obviously Evil vizier/advisor/chancellor/prime minister who is also The Starscream and about as competent as the Trope Namer. I will put him ostensibly in charge of the most unsavory parts of my Empire without actually giving him any real authority. He will make an excellent fall guy and I will endeavour to allow the Hero to "free" me from the influence of my Evil Chancellor who has obviously been the cause of all this tragedy that has occurred behind my back.
  111. Once the Hero starts killing off large numbers of my Mooks, I will periodically hold mass memorial services for them with open caskets and grieving relatives for all the world to see. I will deliver an eulogy and shed a Single Tear for my slain comrades. This will paint me as A Father to His Men and the Hero as a Sociopathic Hero. I will also provide bursaries for the education of surviving dependants, medals to honor the fallen and gratituities to feed their surviving parents and widows. If there are any orphans (especially if both parents worked for me), I will raise them in an Orphanage of Love and see if I can convince some of them to become Tyke Bombs. I will use these in my elite guard and the Hero can explain to them why Daddy and Mommy had to die just for doing their jobs.
  112. If my Mooks are armed with deadly insta-death laser weaponry, I will design the guns to be so complicated that no person who isn't trained in the use of such a weapon can use them. That way, I can prevent my enemies from using the guns of my fallen Mooks in battle.
  113. If I hear the Hero's theme music, and it's not a Dark Reprise, I will not keep fighting. I will get the hell away, because the Narrative Gods have decided against me.
  114. I will not form a settlement atop a Hell Gate if the only way to appease said Hell Gate is to periodically force twins to murder each other. Someone will inevitably try to escape and send everything on a merry path to Hell.
  115. If for any insane reason, I plan to stage a dramatic appearance and defeat a Humongous Mecha, I will not spend months constantly perfecting the mecha before I send it out. This thing is supposed to be beatable, isn't it?
  116. Absolutely none of this applies if I am the "villain" of [[Video Game/Civilization Civilization]] or Empire Earth. I can be as brutal as I want, and as long as I'm a competent leader who can keep my empire moderately happy I can be as brutal and genocidal as I see fit. NOTE: Only applies if I am facing enemies I would not normally see, for instance Americans as the leader of a tribe of Asians in the Stone Age..
  117. If I ever split my soul into multiple nearly-indestructible pieces to become unkillable, I will make one of those pieces a part of a deep space probe.
  118. I will not pull the plug on a group of genetically-engineered super-soldiers just because the first one turned out smarter than I expected, especially if it means killing a batch that's already half-finished. The prototype likely won't appereciate me scrapping his bretheren just because I got cold feet, and could express his displeasure in some VERY counterproductive ways.
  119. If The Hero is ever dangling off the edge of some edifice over a pit of death or something similar, I will not waste time trying to stomp on his/her hands. I will shoot them. Better yet, I will shoot HIM.
  120. None of my Mooks will be wearing helmets in my presence. I will not hire a Mook that hides his/her face. Any Mook that refuses to take of their helmet will be shot immanently.
  121. On further hindsight after skimming the volumes of tips I have written, I will take time to gather my trusted officials around and take stock of what my intended goals are against what we are actually doing. If my goal is to become an evil overlord, then it does me no good if 95% of my time is spent undermining all possible threats to my rule. I am not immortal and I will die eventually (cloning, time travel, and seeking immortality is out of the question). If I am actively trying to take out the hero, I will remember that I am trying to undermine THE HERO and not some woobie, as some of the tips in my six cell blocks would leave me to believe. The Hero, as by definition, will NOT fall for 90% of these tips and WILL have a near infinite amount of Plot Armor which can be transferred to anyone in the world.
    1. Additionally, I will keep in mind that the Hero might have an equally long list of Heroic Vows that may counter my Overlord Vows. If this is the case, I will attempt to avoid trying to out-gambit the hero and seek his destruction, before I get axed by the now DANGEROUSLY GENERE SAVVY hero and his/her merry men/harem/army/Five-Man Band/etc..
      1. If at any point in time this Evil Overlord business is deemed either impossible to maintain, or impossible to attain, I will cut my losses, defer to the hero, and seek out something else to do. I will remember my goals and will remember that no where in them is the goal to work myself into the ground and be the youngest person alive to get gray hairs in their twenties.
  122. If I find myself in the situation of Rule 154, I will let the Hero rescue me. But then I will consider Rule 68 before following up according to Rule 154.
  123. While launching all my forces at a 'defenseless' planet can be an effective means of conquering it, it can leave the inhabitants resorting to more '''drastic''' measures. Hence, if I am expanding my empire and come across a new inhabited planet, I will deploy small scale skirmishes to test the local defences, while simultaneously learning about the planet's culture and philosophies. I will also ensure that my navy is outfitted with defenses against potential weapons the natives may use against me.

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