Funny: Tales of Xillia 2

As Tales of Xillia 2 is a direct sequel to Tales of Xillia, be prepared for Late Arrival Spoilers.

Just like the first game, Tales of Xillia 2 has some very funny moments:

  • One of the first dialogue choices you get in the game.
    Julius: "Something bugging you?:
    >It's nothing.
    • And if you pick the first one, he responds with "You dreamt that I killed you? Well, if you keep decimating my supply of tomato cupcakes, perhaps that dream will come true."
  • When you first meet Elize,referring to her as a "cute girl" makes her blush while Elle gives an adorable '>:(' death glare all while remarking that "Ludger's one smooth talker..."
    • Later once they were accidentally transported to a fractured dimension courtesy of Elle's power caused inadvertantly by thunder-induced panic, Elle pretends she's not afraid and goes the wrong way. When Elize tells her she's headed the wrong way, she runs to the other side and straight up faceplants on the floor.
  • There's something hilarious about seeing Ivar in "spy sunglasses".
    Ivar: [terrified] I thought the safety was on...
    • There's also how he hands Ludger the pistols: barrel first. Something about how Ludger get visibly nervous as the guns get closer is hilarious.
  • The massive amount of cat pun's from the Cat Lady when you first encounter her. Jude comment this after she left:
  • EVERYTHING in Muzet's Episode. Just everything including the spirit reading bracelet (in which Ludger reads Muzet's 'childish' mind). Not to mention the 'Just as planned' Rape face too.
    • In Episode 1, when the gang try to get Dr. Nigel's whereabouts out from one of his students, Muzet manages to get that info by allowing him to..."research" her. Naturally, Elle wants to see but Ludger understandably blocks her view. After a decision, the screen goes black with suggestive dialogue between Muzet and the assistant. When the screen fade back in, the lucky guy has the biggest grin on his face that a player can imagine.
      • The first time Ludger reads Muzet's mind and his reaction towards it. And his reaction when knowing that, as the special bracelet was a prototype, it would kill him if he tried to take it off.
    • In Episode 2, this quote after killing the dimension's divergence catalyst.
      Muzet: I'm so happy! I killed a Harpy! Now you try Gaius!
      Ludger: Snrk.
      • The opening battle quotes are great too.
        Muzet: Who has two thumbs and found a Harpy?!
        Gaius: Muzet, you're acting strangely.
    • A skit during the 3rd Muzet episode involves a serious discussion about Rieze Maxians and Elympions co-operating... completely undercut by Muzet's compeltely silly inner tangents about things like Gaius' eyelashes. Ludger has to keep himself from laughing out loud.
    Muzet: (Gaius has really long eyelashes! They're like the eyelashes of a horse! ...That reminds me, why is it a compliment to comment on the length of a human's hair, or beard, or eyelashes, but not their nose hair? I don't get human aesthetic sensibilities at all...)
  • The fractured Aska in Milla's fourth character story. Jude should really take better consideration of who he tethers with.
  • Muzet's constant habit of stealing fruits in Hamil.
  • One of the first skits when you get Leia is Jude pointing out many things wrong with her Genki Girl personality, that being missing her deadlines, copying his homework, focusing on headlines instead of the actual content... Here, Ludger can choose to call the ensuing argument reminding him of a mother and daughter. However, you can, of course, say that they argue Like an Old Married Couple. Cue Leia gleefully asking if he means it while beating him to death with a staff. Obliviously.
    Jude: Well, for Leia, the staff is mightier than the pen...
  • In an early skit, Rowen and Leia are contemplating how much everyone has changed, and use Jude's stylish new hair as an example, which Rowen takes as evidence that Jude's "exploring his sexy side." Jude denies it and says he just "wanted to try something different"...to which Rowen's response is essentially "like exploring your sexy side?". Jude's portrait sinks halfway down the screen and he says "...maybe." Little Jude is growing up *sniff.*
  • In Nova's Secret, Vera is pissed that her sister Nova reveal her secret and in retaliation she decides to reveal her's.
    • If you choose to tell Vera not to reveal it, she calms down and realizes how reckless it would be. She then confesses she was about to divulge all of Nova's personal information, like her call history, shopping habits, and social security number. Taken by complete surprise after she hangs up, the party is then thankful for not hearing that.
    • But the funny comes in if you choose to hear Nova's secret. It turns out that Nova was in love with the older brother of one of her classmates. She soon intend to give a present to him as a confession of her love towards him. Unfortunately, he was not around but gives the present to his little brother instead who also happens to be her classmate and fled without a word. Due to that the little brother wrongly assume she has fallen in love with him as Nova wasn't brave enough to tell him the truth. I bet you can make a full guess who are the guys that Vera was talking about.
      • Lets just say that Ludger goes emo after hearing this (Japanese Ludger sounds like he's crying). In Rollo's Owner skit (by certain choice options) it turns out that Ludger ACTUALLY got dumped by Nova without knowing why and he ran away from home crying and heartbroken although this is when he and Julius (who was looking for him) end up meeting Rollo for the first time a few days later. Poor dude.
  • Alvin and Leia get in an argument about the latter's overuse of emoticons in text messages.
    • The best part is that Leia apparently sent Alvin a picture of a frog, using it to describe Alvin to his frustration. Ludger can even offer his sympathies for such a silly thing.
  • During Leia's first character episode, she's asked to deliver something to a train station attendant who then asks her that if she had diarrhea, could she just pray or ask the spirits to help her clear it up and then talked about how their medical system could do that too.
  • At one point Rowen notices Alvin has a small beard growing, to which he sarcastic pokes fun at. The two lightheartedly argue about beards before Ludger is throw in. You can comment on which beard type is better and that gives you points towards that character. Mundane Made Awesome!
    • And then Elle ponders if maybe one day she'll be able to grow a beard too.
  • Immediately after Muzet joins, there's a skit discussing how different she is. Teepo helpfully clears up Ludger's confusion.
    Teepo: She used to be a psychopath!
  • One of Rowen's victory conversations when linked with Luger:
    Rowen: This duet comes courtesy of myself and...
  • There is nothing - nothing - that is not awesome about having Gaius in your party. Turns out last year's Final Boss has a penchant for comedy that walks the line between Jade-level Trolling and almost Hubert-ish adorkability. Examples include:
    • When asked what he will do if Ludger fails in his mission, he simply states "Death.".
    • Being entirely unable to use a GHS, including asking Ludger why it doesn't work anymore after he's forgotten to charge it. There's even a post battle skit with him and Rowen where Gaius complains that his GHS must have broken mid fight, only for Rowen to examine it and determine that Gaius forgot to turn the power on.
    • Refusing to respond to people who don't address him as Erston and just generally getting way too into his disguise.
    • Not-so-stealth-insulting Alvin's beard as soon as he joins the party.
    • Threatening to declare war on Ludger and Milla if Ludger accuses him of staring at Milla's hair.
    • Claiming to enjoy walking around the streets of Kanbalar in short sleeves while eating ice cream - and then possibly inviting Ludger to his igloo of solitude for some character building.
      • But drawing the line at the Kukhar Ice Caverns, which is too cold even for him.
    • Informing Ludger that he is following him and watching his every move, "but not in a creepy stalker way or anything"
    • Upon hearing the party chatting about the Xian Du Coliseum, drawing his giant sword in the middle of the street and bellowing something along the lines of WHO DARES TO FIGHT WITH ME just to goad the party into entering the tag battles (Which he succeed after some pep talk and plays dumb when Jude mention they play them like a fiddle).
      Alt Milla: "How did this ruffian get to be king?"
    • In a linked victory quote with Alvin, comparing Demon Fangs and declaring his to be better because of its size.
    • In a different victory quote, nerding out over his own sword.
    • Being forced to abandon the party during a storyline mission to pay off a debt to a restaurant by doing dishes - because Muzet ate too much fish without paying.
      • After the chapter, Gaius complains about how he had to repay Muzet's considerable tab at a meager rate of 15 gald an hour. He muses that he'll have to tell Muzet not to eat so much in future.
    • Admitting to being afraid of nobody in the universe except Leia's mom.
    • Chasing Rollo to duel him when his title of Auj Oule's King is teasingly considered beneath Rollo's status as Emperor of Cats. This is after he chides Milla for feeling affronted by the thought of Rollo being of a higher rank than Lord of Spirits!
    • Declaring (in a most kingly voice) that Teepo would be "all the more adorable" if he were the size of a house. Then being so proud of himself for stopping Muzet and Elize's fight.
      Gaius: TEEPO! IF YOU WERE THE SIZE OF A HOUSE, YOU'D BE ALL THE MORE ADORABLE!
    • Since he doesn't like spicy food, he's very eager to try Ludger's "Elle-style" Mabo curry.
      • Until Rowen came to tease him and make him some 'adult-style' Mabo curry. It turns out (if you select one of the options) that Rowen decides to get some revenge onto him for commissioning his second printing of his poem anthology without his approval to the public.
    • Drunken Gaius. Full Stop. With his drunken character pose.
      Gaius: *Drunk* I thee why Rowen...regarded it tho...highly...
      Ludger: Uh?
      Elle: Did he say "thee"?
      Rowen: Gaius are you feeling well?
      Gaius: *Still drunk* Of courth I am! My thongue is thimply....thwithted.
      • In context: The group stop by Drellin, an Elympion city famous for its seafood...and alcoholic products. Rowen invites Gaius to sample a potato-based spirit, and Gaius...downs the whole thing, even as Elle says he's only meant to sip it.
    • Gaius having unexpected preferences that surprise the party, like cats and chocolate parfaits.
  • There's a skit where as Gaius puts it, Muzet isn't actually wearing real clothing and is technically naked. This leads to some... excited speculation towards Milla.
    • If you want to win points with Jude and Gaius who worry the conversation will go too far, you have Ludger confess that he's also naked in chromatus form. Alvin and Rowen do not take as kindly to that mental image. Jude and Gaius are thankful, but they hope Ludger's joking.
    • However if you take Alvin and Rowen's side by arguing that what's hidden is more exciting, they partner up in valuing that sort of romantic mystery while Jude and Gaius see Ludger as a pervert. (in Japanese they think he's into this kind of fetish).
    • In short, Ludger can't win either choice.
  • Here's one of the battle victories: Just like in Tales of Graces, Elle berates Alvin, Ludger and Leia for not being consistent with their victory cry, and then they all make V signs at the camera. Wait for about 10 seconds, and they all start crowding around the camera, fighting for your attention.
    • On the note of victory quotes, here's another one:
      Rowen: Victory is based on...
      Elize: Truth!
      Rowen: Justice!
      Elle: Money!
      Ludger: Huh?
    • Have a pair. In a victory quote where Gaius and Elize were linked in the battle, Teepo chews on Gaius' arm to see if he tastes like a Gaius Dumpling. Gaius remains in his Badass Armfold pose but sounds rather annoyed while Elize is a little perturbed. In another though, Teepo will go for Gaius' face and enjoys himself. Elize is completely embarrassed as she's aware now that Teepo acts on her subconscious thoughts, and Gaius just stands in that same pose of his instead of trying to yank him off.
      Teepo: Mmm, I could get used to this!
      Elize: Hey... don't overstay your welcome, Teepo.
      Gaius: I can see into the void...
      Teepo: No, that's just my stomach.
  • Putting characters in one of the costumes that change their appearance to another character's can be quite hilarious. Nothing quite like seeing Bisley floating in the air and doing graceful motions as he uses Muzet's moveset. The game's cutscene camera also fails to take into account if anyone's wearing a transformation skin that raises or lowers their height so if you turned Ludger into Rutee for example, prepare to see certain scenes look rather awkward and for items to float awkwardly near open hands thanks to Rutee being shorter and thinner than Ludger is.
  • According to Maxwell, Milla Kresnik threatened to pull his beard in the original Song of Proof. Rowen immediately shudders at that thought.
  • The choices in Milla Episode 2 before fighting the boss:
    • If you let her fall, Elle and Milla calls Ludger a cold person for not helping out.
    • However if you DID help her out, Milla thanks Ludger...only to get punch in the face due to Ludger touching her breast by accident.
  • The skit "Lady Driselle" has Elle, who mistook "Steward" for "Stew-er", asking Rowen what kind of stews he made. After Rowen corrects her, you can explain to her what a Steward is. If you describe a maid, the entire skit goes off the rails. Elle is surprised that Rowen wore dresses, and Rowen, Troll that he is, completely plays along. Elle and Milla are completely fooled, and even Ludger himself is completely shocked that Rowen is running with it. Clearly, he bit off more than he could chew. The best part? You actually gain Affinity with him!
  • The Mutton Man returns!
    • And he brought Jerry's old friend with him!
  • Elle and the other Milla skit:
  • Elize's ringtone, which is Teepo's voice.
    • Teepo: "Hey hey hey! Answer me!"
  • Linking Leia and Gaius in battle has this funny exchange every once in a while:
  • Gaius and Rowen's Link Arte "Ride of the Valkyrie", which is Rowen and Gaius riding Rowen's wind airplane arte with Gaius doing his Badass Armfold the whole time.
  • The jingle Gaius and Wingul made up with their Link Arte. Considering the connection the two must have had, this doubles as a heartwarming moment, which then leads into a Tear Jerker.
    • "Too many tribals, too many rivals, no hope for for survival! But don'tcha worry! In a hurry, it's the Sound and Fury! In a flurry, they make a scurry, when we make our arrival!"
  • When Alt Milla wants to see what's Teepo made off, Elize rejects and Teepo asks Alt Milla what she is made of:
    Alt Milla: I'm made of...kindness? And rainbows?
    (Cue to both Teepo and Elize giving a stare at her)
    Alt Milla: Oh, come on! Nothing? Not even a smile?!
  • In Old Alvin's skit, Alt Milla, Elle, Teepo and Elize teases Alvin that he reaches an age where he's desperate to find younger women when he tries to flirt with Elize.
    • If you choose to tease him, Alvin says his jokes is colder than Rowen is but if you choose to agree with the girls he gives you this remark:
      "In ten years I'm going to remind you about this day, and we'll see just how clever you think it is then".
      • After those choices, Alvin hugs Rollo saying only Rollo understands his pain of male adulthood. Cue to the girls giving him the cold stare at him while Ludger just gives a shrugs.
  • Apparently, the final battle from the first Xillia has been retold into a wrestling match, courtesy of Muzet.
    Muzet: I still remember the final battle between Milla and Gaius. When Milla got Gaius in a leg-trap chameleon clutch, and forced him to tap out.
    Gaius: I wasn't "tapping out", I was reaching for the ropes. The judge called it wrong.
    • The best part? Ludger looks genuinely confused and is about ready to accept it because Milla joins in and Jude is forced to tell Ludger they're joking.
    • Even better when Leia is there instead of Jude. If the player has Ludger play along, Leia gets more and more frustrated as they all keep the Running Gag going.
  • The Hot Spring Ending. Everyone is having a good time...EXCEPT the guys (plus Rollo) who's stuck inside Teepo.
    • Even though they are friends, the girls decide not to let them join them in a co-ed hot spring as some of them are perverts. (namely Alvin and Rowen). Hilarity ensues when you can think a lot of Innocent Innuendo and the fact that the water inside Teepo melts towels.
  • Children shouldn't play with guns
    • Cue to Ludger's reaction when he's avoiding Elle's question.
  • The "Driselle's Crisis" job. To deal with her terrifying "nemesis", she asks Ludger, Rowen, and Elize to bring her a rare gun, then formulates an aggressive battle strategy, including demanding a storm of bullets and spirit artes. The identity of this horrible foe? A single cockroach.
  • At Chapter 6, when you meet with Vera, who says that Bisley only wants to see Ludger, this response happens:
    Jude: I'm Ludger's friend and adviser.
  • After Chapter 7, something which comes out of nowhere, in-and-out of universe:
    Elle: You know Milla, you have really big knockers!
    Alt Milla: Wh-WHAT!? Where did you learn that?! I swear, kids are such a hassle.
    • To be honest, anything that Elle says something that kids wouldn't say in the first place shocking most of the cast wondering where did she learn it from.
      • In fact, there's a victory skit where Alvin explains Gaius' Retribution skill to Elle in a way he really shouldn't have to a child...
    Elle: Gaius, are you a masochist?
    Gaius: Where... did you learn that word?
    Elle: Oh, Alvin told me it. He says you really like being attacked.
    • Curious on what her dad (Victor) actually taught her at that age.
  • This skit:
    Muzet: (pouting) "You giving me the cold shoulder? We used to be tether friends."
    Alvin: (chuckles) "Tether friends? Doesn't that sound intense. "Oh Jude. Hold me tight and tether with me all night long.."
    Jude: "Don't make it sound like that. I just shared some of my mana with Muzet while she was in a weakened state. It doesn't mean anything"
    Muzet: "It means everything! To a spirit, receiving mana through direct-tethering is a very powerful and intimate experience."
    Gaius: "It is? WHY didn't you ever tell me that Muzet?"
    Muzet: "You where so strong Gaius. When I tethered with you I was just so overwhelmed."
    Gaius: "To think I had taken on such a deep responsibility, even if unknowingly..."
    Alvin: "Muzet's a wicked one."
    Muzet: (giggles) "I'd say Jude was a very giving tetherer, while Gaius was more the commanding type. I wonder what it would be like to tether with you Ludger?"
    (Options come up) (Pick the one on the right)
    Muzet: (Luminescent Blush) "Oh my! Have you no decorum at all?" (runs off embarrassed)
    Jude: "Whoa! You scared her off!"
    Alvin: "I'm impressed."
    Gaius: "She may be a spirit... but as a man, I must take responsibility..."
  • One skit during Jude's story where you end up at a waterfall. Milla and Jude went to the top and apparently got drenched. Milla makes a fuss while Jude tries to play it cool. Ludger can then ask what did they did up there... only for Jude to say he can't tell you.
  • Getting one of the alternate endings gets you the credits over an image of a shocked Ludger cooking something while Elle and Rollo are jumping towards him.
  • Another Victory skit has Elle learn the consequences of her many questions.
    Elle: (To Rollo) "Hey, what's it like to be able to fly?"
    Muzet: Well, it's like this! (Picks up Elle and flies off. Cut to Rollo looking up from the ground)
    Elle: "W-w-whoa!"
    (Beat)
    Rollo: "Meow."
  • One post-game job has you find a Unicorn horn for a certain money loving hunter who promises to pay you a "handsome sum". Naturally getting said horn and getting it to Fennmont nets you a meeting with said client, who happens to be Rutee Katrea. And she manages to fob you off with a paltry Gald payment she refers to as "a handsome sum" by pointing out that she never stated how much it would be exactly. Naturally, Alvin's not pleased. Furthermore, she realizes you actually managed to get a Unicorn Horn.
    Rutee: Wait...if you managed to actually get a Unicorn Horn, then that must mean...YOU'RE A VIRGIN! explanation