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Has Two Thumbs and...
Bob Kelso. He added a funny voice to keep it fresh.
Let's say somebody is talking about something you have no interest in. Now, you could say, "yeah, whatever", but that lacks a certain ... flair. Fortunately, there is a better alternative:

Step 1: Pronounce the phrase, "What has two thumbs and doesn't care?"

Step 2: Hold up both hands at chest level, fingers curled and thumbs out, with the thumbs pointing toward yourself.

Step 3: (optional) "This guy!"

Naturally, the expression may be easily modified to express other things.

Examples

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    Advertising 

    Comic Books 
  • A Sid The Sexist strip in Viz from back in the 1990s had "What's got two thumbs, speaks French and likes bler jobs?" (The answer, of course, was Moi, and the speaker was injured by the recipient of this chat up line.)

     Film 
  • In Alien: Resurrection, the smitten, wheelchair-bound mechanic tells this joke the new girl mechanic, Call.
    Vriess: What's got two thumbs, one eyes, and screws like a god?
    Call: (gives him a humored look) What?
    Vriess: (closes one eye and points to himself)
    Call: (chuckles before pressing the button sending him back under the machine)
  • In Year One: "Who has two thumbs and wants another hot oil rub?"
  • In Insomnia, said by one of the Sheriff's deputies: "Who has two thumbs and loves blowjobs?"
  • In The Limey, Nicky Katt's character tells the "loves blowjobs" variety.

    Live Action TV 
  • Bob Kelso from Scrubs has employed this a number of times.
  • Once used mockingly by Jim in The Office after being noticeably irritated by Todd Packer's use of this.
    Jim: "Who has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer?"
  • That '70s Show: In the first episode of season 2, "Garage Sale", Hyde bakes a batch of special brownies, prompting Kelso to say "You know what's got two thumbs and really likes brownies?" (points thumbs at himself) This guy!"
  • 30 Rock: "Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!"
  • A Castle outtake involved Nathan Fillion ad-libbing the following:
    Castle: "What has two thumbs and a date with a prostitute? This guy!"
  • Variation on the June 16, 2010, episode of The Daily Show: "Who has four fingers and resigned in disgrace? This Guy.".
  • Trina and then Andre in Victorious did this in the episode "The Birthweek Song".
  • A Catch Phrase of Jackson's on Hannah Montana.
  • It originally comes from Fonzie on Happy Days: 'Who's cool and has two thumbs? This guy!"
  • Ram in the How to Be Indie episode "How to Have Your Samosa and Eat It Too":
    Who has two thumbs and some of the best cooking in the world? This guy!

    Newspaper Comics 
  • In the March 13th 2012 Dilbert strip, Dilbert reads about the possibilities of there being billions of versions of the earth in millions of universes and wonders "..if there's a version of me out there who loves his job.". In the next panel labeled Meanwhile on XPQ-75... a three armed woman approaches a three armed Dilbert.
    3 Armed Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a shoulder massage?
    3 Armed Dilbert: This guy!

    Professional Wrestling 
  • Rob Van Dam implies this.

    Standup Comedy 
  • One Stephen Lynch routine parodies the old days of vaudeville, with David Josefsberg.
    David: Stephen...
    Stephen: Yes David...
    David: Who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?
    Stephen: I don't know David, who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?
    David: This guy!

    Video Games 
  • Kid Icarus: Uprising has one.
    Pit: Who has two thumbs and loves hot springs? EVERYONE WITH TWO THUMBS!

    Webcomics 

    Web Original 
  • The Literal Video Version of "Billie Jean" has Who has two thumbs and likes BJ?/ The answer's this guy!/ This guy likes Billie Jean!/ (That's what I thought BJ means!).
  • After announcing himself the winner of a contest he created, Josh Ramsay of Marianas Trench then declared "Hey, what has two thumbs and just won the contest? This guy!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H70x96msjsY
  • The xkcdb version.

    Western Animation 
  • In Robot Chicken's parody of the dinner at Cloud City, guess who "has two thumbs and betrayed his friends?" That's right, Lando.
  • Almost Naked Animals: In "Cool Paw Howie", Howie (who has turned the hotel into a minimum security prison) asks his staff "Who has two thumbs and likes running a prison?". However, as none of the staff like running a prison, he gets no response.

Hanging by the FingersHand TropesHolding Hands
Gravity Is Only a TheoryStock PhrasesHaven't You Seen X Before?
Happily Ever BeforeExample as a ThesisHe Panned It, Now He Sucks
ScrubsImageSource/Live-Action TVSeinfeld

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