Has Two Thumbs and...
some variation of the following template: Step 1: Pronounce the phrase, "What has two thumbs and [description]?" Step 2: Hold up both hands at chest level, fingers curled and thumbs out, with the thumbs pointing toward yourself. Step 3: (optional) "This [guy/girl]!" Especially popular with the snarky and Jerkasses.
open/close all folders
- A Travelocity commercial had the virtuous-yet-put-upon female worker forced into a plane trip with the boorish male co-worker, who at one point is seen doing the "this guy" move, though the entire joke isn't portrayed.
- Expedia had at least one commercial showing an imagine spot of a Jerkass using this routine.
- Gamestop advertised an upcoming game with the quote "Who has two thumbs and loves killing Greek gods?"
- A radio ad for GEICO has a man tell how he saves money by sending mail via pidgeon. After admitting that his mail usually doesnt end up at its assigned destination he says "...but who has two thumbs and isn't buying stamps? This guy!"
- In Alien: Resurrection, the smitten, wheelchair-bound mechanic tells this joke to the new girl mechanic, Call.
Vriess: What's got two thumbs, one eyes, and screws like a god?Call: (gives him a humored look) What?Vriess: (closes one eye and points to himself)Call: (chuckles before pressing the button sending him back under the machine)
- In Year One: "Who has two thumbs and wants another hot oil rub?"
- In Insomnia, said by one of the Sheriff's deputies: "Who has two thumbs and loves blowjobs?"
- In The Limey, Nicky Katt's character tells the "loves blowjobs" variety.
Live Action TV
- Bob Kelso from Scrubs has employed this a number of times.
- Once used mockingly by Jim in The Office after being noticeably irritated by Todd Packer's use of this.
Jim: "Who has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer?"
- That '70s Show: In the first episode of season 2, "Garage Sale", Hyde bakes a batch of special brownies, prompting Kelso to say "You know what's got two thumbs and really likes brownies?" (points thumbs at himself) This guy!"
- 30 Rock: "Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!"
- A Castle outtake involved Nathan Fillion ad-libbing the following:
Castle: "What has two thumbs and a date with a prostitute? This guy!"
- Variation on the June 16, 2010, episode of The Daily Show: "Who has four fingers and resigned in disgrace? This Guy.".
- Trina and then Andre in Victorious did this in the episode "The Birthweek Song".
- A Catch Phrase of Jackson's on Hannah Montana.
- It originally comes from Fonzie on Happy Days: 'Who's cool and has two thumbs? This guy!"
- Ram in the How to Be Indie episode "How to Have Your Samosa and Eat It Too":
Who has two thumbs and some of the best cooking in the world? This guy!
- In the March 13th 2012 Dilbert strip, Dilbert reads about the possibilities of there being billions of versions of the earth in millions of universes and wonders "..if there's a version of me out there who loves his job.". In the next panel labeled Meanwhile on XPQ-75... a three armed woman approaches a three armed Dilbert.
3 Armed Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a shoulder massage?3 Armed Dilbert: This guy!
- Rob Van Dam implies this.
- In one episode of John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme, Finnemore tells a spine-chilling Burke and Hare parody about an Edinburgh thimble factory, a supplier of thumbs who claimed to be getting them from a combined distillery and bacon-slicer, and of the terrible choice the factory owner gave him: to allow Pratt and Rabbit to continue in their trade, or to sacrifice his own thumbs.
Finnemore: And that is why my answer to the question "What has two thumbs and a conscience stained black as pitch?" must forever be "This guy!"
- One Stephen Lynch routine parodies the old days of vaudeville, with David Josefsberg.
David: Stephen...Stephen: Yes David...David: Who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?Stephen: I don't know David, who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?David: This guy!
- Kid Icarus: Uprising has one.
Pit: Who has two thumbs and loves hot springs? EVERYONE WITH TWO THUMBS!
- In A Girl and Her Fed, Speedy tries this, but is foiled by not having thumbs. (This is unintentionally hilarious for a completely different reason: real Koalas actually have four thumbs.)
- In Tweep, Lily is full of awesome.
- In The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, The Abs Man attempts this but fails due to him omitting too much of the setup line.
"What has two thumbs and is like a tool shed?" "This guy.""You're a tool shed. What does that have to do with the girl?"
- This Cyanide and Happiness strip.
- In Paranatural, Max does this in the background, but uses his pointer finger instead of his thumbs. He silently corrects himself in the next two panels.
- Played for very sad and serious drama near the end of Chapter 4 of Sunstone after Anne tells both Ally and Lisa to go to hell. (NSFW)
Lisa: What has two thumbs and is a weapons-grade hypocrite? This girl!
- The Literal Video Version of "Billie Jean" has Who has two thumbs and likes BJ?/ The answer's this guy!/ This guy likes Billie Jean!/ (That's what I thought BJ means!).
- After announcing himself the winner of a contest he created, Josh Ramsay of Marianas Trench then declared "Hey, what has two thumbs and just won the contest? This guy!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H70x96msjsY
- The xkcdb version.
- In this Cracked article about bizarre animal drug testing describes a hypothetical human volunteer for an experiment involving methamphetamines and electricity as having two thumbs, not minding tasers and loving meth. The article then describes another hypothetical volunteer, Jimmy Handclaws, as not having two thumbs but still loving meth.
- In Robot Chicken's parody of the dinner at Cloud City, guess who "has two thumbs and betrayed his friends?" That's right, Lando.
- Almost Naked Animals: In "Cool Paw Howie", Howie (who has turned the hotel into a minimum security prison) asks his staff "Who has two thumbs and likes running a prison?". However, as none of the staff like running a prison, he gets no response.