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Funny: Smallville
Please arrange the entries according to seasons, as shown in Nightmare Fuel/Smallville.

    open/close all folders 

    Season one 
  • "X-Ray" featured a shapeshifter framing people for various crimes. After Lex Luthor has been framed for robbing a bank:
    Lex: "I'm not a criminal mastermind!"
    Clark: "True, a criminal mastermind would have worn a mask."
  • Hug: A good guy with mind controlling powers demonstrates by making Chloe kiss Clark, with a small smirk.
    Chloe: What? Why are you looking at me like that? And why is my mouth minty?
    Clark: Let’s just say he proved his point. (rubs his mouth)
    Chloe: Oh, god, did I just-
    Clark: Don't worry it was... fine.
  • Crush: Clark explaining his love life to Lex, supposedly hypothetically:
    Clark: I've got these two amazing friends who happen to be girls.
    Lex: For arguments sake, let's call them "Lana" and "Chloe".

    Season two 

    Season three 

    Season four 
  • Devoted: Chloe accidentally drank a kryptonite solution that makes her go crazy (well, crazier) on Clark.
    Chloe: Who needs the Torch? Especially if you're not gonna be there.
    Clark: Right. But that still doesn't answer why you're only wearing... my football jersey.
    Clark: Like what? (Chloe's hand slides down his chest towards his crotch) Chloe...Chloe! (grabs her hand and pets it awkwardly) Hey, Chloe, are you feeling okay?
    Chloe: I never felt happier. (straddles him) Clark, can't you see? I'm devoted to you. I love you, Clark. (she kisses Clark)
    • Unlike the other times when something make Chloe go crazy over him, what happened next is never shown. Add that to how Clark stops struggling and closes his eyes and there is some good fuel for wishful thinking of Chloe/Clark fans.
      • Unfortunately, it was later (awkwardly) confirmed he is still a virgin in Spell.
  • Transference:
    Edgar Cole: Is that really you in there, Lionel?
    Lionel-as-Clark: No, it's the Easter Bunny.
    • Lionel's reaction to Jonathan patting him on the back is to pat him back after wandering what the hell that even was.
    • Lionel-as-Clark being told to lift the tractor.
  • Bound: Chloe and Clark tries to solve the murder of the girl Lex had sex with the night before...
    Chloe: Let's re-enact the event, okay? So Lex had Eve up against this wall right here, so... okay, come on, big boy, it's for the cause of truth and justice. Now push me up against the wall.
    Clark: I don't think —
    Chloe: And her hand was like this... and I think his hand was like this.
    • After she pushed and pulled Clark around for a bit, they end up with their faces about an inch from each other. Chloe suddenly realizes and gives a cutely awkward little "Hi". Clark actually leans in a bit to kiss her... Unfortunately, the Moment Killer (s) arrive in the form of a woman with her two kids. Especially funny due to the fact that unlike in most cases, Clark realizes what is happening long before Chloe does, who is the clueless one this time.
      • Although knowing how Genre Savvy she could be, there is a chance that she did it on purpose.
  • Unsafe: Chloe and Lana talking about sex. Just think about it.
  • Pariah: Chloe and Lois singing a wild rock song in the Talon.
    • Then a random guy trying to ask Lois out in front of Clark and Chloe.
  • Recruit: Chloe making playful jabs at Clark's secret, which she has already learnt but Clark doesn't know she knows, as well as helping him make awkward excuses to Lois in this and some following episodes.
  • Spirit: Dawn flirting with Clark before realizing she is IN MARTHA'S BODY.
    Clark: "Crown's mine, bitch!"
    • To explain, Dawn Stiles becomes a meteor freak, after getting into a coma, and her spirit possesses the bodies of Lana, Martha, Lois, Chloe, and finally Clark.
  • Blank: Clark with total amnesia.
    • He accidentally tore off the door of his own house. Chloe tries to cover for him in front of Lois.
    • He triggers his X-Ray Vision in front of Chloe, who instinctively draws her coat over her chest.
    • Firing his heat vision when he saw Lana. Lust in first sight indeed. May count for a Tear Jerker in a different angle.
    • The freak of the week getting away in a motorcycle and Chloe yelling at him to run after it. When he does, he easily overshoots the motorcycle, passing it in slow motion with a confused expression.
  • Ageless: Clark and Lana picked up a child in the field. He refers to Lana as Mum and Clark as Dad. Then he starts talking about everyone has parents who love each other, jumping into unbearable territory of Narm for anyone who isn't a Clana fan.

    Season five 
  • Hidden: After having sex, Lana and Clark "accidentally" fell asleep in Clark's bed. In the morning, they tried to sneak out, but of course they failed. Clark gives one of his priceless I Can Explain moments. Jonathan decides to give him a lecture. Then Chloe comes in...
    Chloe: Knock knock. Okay, I just passed Lana flying out of here. What would she be doing here at six...thirty...(realizes)...oh.
  • Mortal: Chloe goes into Oracle mode and breaks in a Luthor Corp facility with Clark.
    Clark: Are you sure this is gonna work?
    Chloe: You got a better plan?
    Clark: Well, I mean, normally I'd just rip open the door, then Super Speed past the surveillance cameras and somehow open the vault or whatever with my... heat vision.
    Chloe: So what you're saying is that now that you're human, you have absolutely no useful skills?
    Clark: Not so much.
    • And then...
    Clark: (crawling through ventilation ducts) I'm goin' in circles!
    Chloe: No, you're not. It just feels that way because you're in a confined space with no visual markers.
    Clark: This is impossible, it's a million degrees in here!
    Clark: Pete was a lot better at pep talks in these situations.
    Chloe: Pete!?
    Clark: (hits his head) Ow!
    Chloe: You told Pete your secret?!
    Clark: I kinda had to— he saw my ship.
    Chloe: What?! Pete got to see your spaceship?!
    • She almost sounds jealous.
  • Exposed: Lois and Chloe sneaks into a night club and Lois ends up going undercover as a strip dancer, but sadly not Chloe. She is too busy trying not to laugh as she makes Lois do all the hard work.
    • Then Lois goes sitting in Clark's lap...wearing nothing but a bikini.
  • Fanatic: As the only bright spot in this otherwise pretty bad episode, Clark actually complains about his sex life with Lana, to Chloe, who struggles to keep a straight face.
  • Lockdown: Picking up from Fanatic, Lana complaining that Clark kisses her like a cousin could be rather Narmy. Wonder what Chloe would say if she hears that...
    • After some Angsting, Clark runs off to Chloe to complain more...
    Chloe: Clark! Can you at least put on the brakes before you tornado my homework?
    • Then he asks her to dig up something about the bad guy of the week.
    Chloe: Sorry, Clark, but I don't have a Super Speed mode. Get out of here. (she pushes Clark away from the computer) But I am the slickest blonde you'll ever meet.
    Chloe: Clark, that's where they must be. (Clark super speeds off) Damn, I wish I could do that.
  • Vengeance: Clark and Chloe playing mugger and Damsel in Distress (many times) in an attempt to lure a vigilante into the open.
    Chloe: (slightly exasperated) No! Help!
    Clark: You got to give it some feeling, some passion.
    Chloe: STOP! (said vigilante drops behind Clark)
  • Hypnotic: Lana dropping a blatant hint about Chloe working overtime and being all alone in the dorm. Clark makes up a lame excuse.
    • Martha is mind controlled and points a rifle at Lois. Chloe shows up and knocks her out.
    Lois: Hello, the woman is about to wallpaper her living room with my brain matter.
  • Oracle: The ghost of Jonathan apparently returned to warn Clark about Lionel.
    Clark: Look for anything my dad might be warning me about.
    Chloe: I can't exactly search for a file named "My Evil Scheme."
  • Solitude: Lex responds to Lois' incessant snarking about his campaign.
    Lex: There's nothing more valuable than the savvy political advice of a muffin-peddling college dropout. Speaking of, do you have banana blueberry today?

    Season six 
  • Zod: After their Big Damn Now or Never Kiss in Vessel...
    Chloe: Clark! Oh my God, I thought you were dead! (she runs into his arms)
    Clark: Hi. Um... So did I, for a while there.
    Chloe: What happened? Where did you go?
    Clark: A place I never want to go again. Are you okay?
    Chloe: Yeah, everything's great now that you're here. (they embrace again)
    Clark: Um, yeah. Me... me neither.
    • How did she deliver that line with a straight face?
  • Sneeze: Clark develops Super Breath.
    Clark: (about to sneeze) AAAAAH!!!
    Chloe: NO! (desperately shields her papers)
    Clark: Just kidding.
    • Clark and Chloe arranges a totally-not-a-date at the lake. Clark uses his Super Breath to clear the skies of clouds.
    • There was an article about Lex donating millions to help rebuild, and Clark told Chloe that he has bigger news. "I sneezed".
  • Subterranean: When Clark leaves to investigate the freak of the week, Jimmy tells Chloe she doesn't have to cover for him... turns out Jimmy got the wrong idea and thinks he is in love with Chloe and is jealous of their relationship. Well, he is, deep down, but is it that obvious?
    • Then at the end of the episode Jimmy confronts Clark about it. Chloe's expression is priceless.
  • Crimson:
    • Jimmy and his unwitting accomplice Chloe attempts to get Lois and Clark together at a Valentine's Day party. Chloe is not amused. The fans are.
    Jimmynote : You got to admit, they got chemistry.
    Chloe: Yeah, so do nitroglycerin and peroxide, and I don't suggest putting them together.
    • Lois is dosed with a love potion lipstick and goes after Clark. Clark escapes and try to get Chloe to help him, but Lois finds him. Chloe makes a very quick excuse and flees the scene.
    Martha: You're the only one who can sort that out.
    • When Lois shows up at the Kent Farm after being exposed to the love potion with a Whitesnake mix CD she made for Clark, Clark distracts her by telling her to put the CD in the player. And when Lois' back is turned, he makes a speedy exit.
  • Freak: In an otherwise pretty nightmarish episode, when Chloe asks Daniel what happened last night, he somewhat apologetically asks if they had sex because he was really drunk and didn't remember anything. Turns out he has his memory at Lex's secret lab wiped and the same happens to Chloe later. Although considering the pain and humiliation she went through in Lex's hands, it's probably for the best.
  • Nemesis: Chloe demonstrates again how Clark and her are Like an Old Married Couple.
    Chloe: (leaving a voicemail) Hey, Clark, it's me. Again. Where are you? I feel like your stalker ex-girlfriend... even though I was never... your girlfriendnote  ... it was just an analogy, a bad one. I'm sorry, this is awkward... okay call me. Bye.
  • Noir: When the bad guy shoves Chloe off a balcony and down many floors, Clark catches her in his arms at the last moment.
    Chloe: You didn't have to wait until the last second, you know.
    Clark: What fun would that be?

    Season seven 
  • Bizarro: An unfortunately slightly Narmy scene of Chloe Waking Up at the Morgue. When Clark finds her, she tells him to turn around so she could get some clothes on, which he obeyed for less than five seconds before peeking rather obviously.
    • After being groped by Bizarro, Lois confronts Clark, who is clueless, about it. Chloe is amused. Clark isn't.
  • Kara: Kara poking fun at Clark's inability to fly.
    Kara: I guess the humans were right, Kal-El. Girls do mature faster than boys.
  • Fierce: Kara has an immediate crush on Jimmy Olsen that triggers her heat vision, which is caused by sexual thoughts.
    • She then appears in front of Clark and Lana. In a bikini. Clark tells her to get... covered.
  • Lara: Kara seducing a nerdy lab technician.
    • Jimmy finds Kara using his computer, and he tells her to feel free...
    Jimmy: ...Unless you are hacking into national security networks. (camera pans to show the screen) Which is exactly what you are doing.
  • Wrath: After hanging out with Clark who seems to be a little too nice...
    Lana: Normally that kind of romance comes with a tag that said "sorry I wrecked your car" or "I accidentally slept with your sister".note 
    • Lana then receives Clark's abilities and they proceed to have sex now they don't have the Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex problems, which causes earthquakes all over Smallville. A bemused Chloe comes to investigate and correctly guesses what happened.
  • Gemini: Clark super speeds into an elevator to get rid of a bomb when Chloe and Jimmy are locked in a Now or Never Kiss. We are treated to a nice long shot of Clark's special stunned expression reserved for times when he sees Chloe being intimate with another guy.
  • Persona: Bizarro breaks into the Fortress of Solitude. Jor-El orders him to get out, and Bizarro answers, "You're just a voice. What are you going to do, lecture me to death?" Burn!
  • Sleeper: Jimmy and Chloe have a sexy dance while Chloe is working on something with the Justice League and Jimmy is trying to spy on it. James Bond style. It is actually rather Out of Character, but it is So Bad, It's Good.
  • Arctic:
    Chloe: (exposes Kara to kryptonite) Why isn't it working?
    Brainiac-as-Kara: Check the expiration date?
    Brainiac: I remember you. Always sticking your pretty little head where it doesn't belong.

    Season eight 
  • Plastique: Davis subtly flirts with Chloe. She immediately shoots him down by flashing her engagement ring from Jimmy. Davis got the wrong idea, just like everyone else.
    Davis: I met your fiancée. Clark, congratulations. She's a real catch.
    Clark: I'm getting married?
    Davis: Well, I thought that— 'cause I thought you and Chloe were together, and you seemed pretty close. When she said she was engaged...
    Clark: Chloe's engaged?
    Davis: Oh, man, okay, my brain's completely gone completely D.O.A. Clark, she said she hadn't told anyone yet. Do me a favor. Don't tell her I said anything. (leaves)
    Clark: (stunned) I won't reveal my source.
  • Toxic:
    Oliver: (capturing a centipede) All right, here's the deal. Normally I don't eat anything with more than 99 legs on it, but I haven't eaten in days. Kind of a bummer for both of us, right? (Beat) Okay, you win, go.
  • Committed: Clark and Lois goes to Chloe and Jimmy's apartment and find a... very romantically decorated bed. And a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs. Can we have a little bit of Brain Bleach here please? After being kidnapped and released, Chloe finds the handcuffs and wonders if it is his idea of a twisted joke.
    Lois: Ho-ho. Guess the Olsen's not so wholesome.
  • Prey: Chloe trying (and failing) to cure Clark of his Chronic Hero Syndrome.
    Chloe: You know when I suggested we have dinner and a movie night, I didn't exactly think $3.99 Special number 2 combo with cheese and a droning police blotter was what I had in mind. (Clark fails to respond) Not to mention the communication skills of a paperweight.
    Clark: I'm sorry?
    Chloe: Whoa! Look who decided to join the conversation!
  • Bride: Lois and Clark making a video for Chloe's wedding.
    Lois: And remember what the General always says: "Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy." (Beat) You can edit that last part out, right?
  • Hex: Chloe wished to become Lois. Zatanna complies. Hilarity Ensues. Be Careful What You Wish For.
    • Chloe being way too nice to pass as Lois. She remembers Lois calls him "Smallville" and does just that.
    • Clark keeps calling Chloe Lois. Not helped when Zatanna wipes all his memories of being Kal-El. He refuses to believe himself to be superhuman and Chloe tries crazy and crazier methods to help him remember.
    • Just look at the quotes section of the wiki page.
    Season Nine 
  • Absolute Justice, Part 1: Finally a little something in a very dark season.
    Chloe: Big sister's watching.
    Oliver: Is that my e-mail? Chloe, I'll have you know that those messages between me and Canary were purely platonic.
    • When Chloe asked for a computer, she clearly wasn't expecting an antique.
    Lois Lane: Nice helmet.
  • Escape: Clark is singing in the shower, minding his own business... Then Chloe walks in wearing nothing except a towel.
    Clark: (pulls the shower curtains apart) Chloe? (hurriedly covers himself with the curtain) What are you doing here?
    Chloe: Well, I thought I would join you. (unfastens the towel and letting it drop on to the floor with a deliciously mischievous expression)
    Clark: (immediately looks away) Yeah, I can see that. (grabs a towel and wraps it around himself) At least, I'm trying to not see that. (furtively steals another glance) Um, you know, I'm done here, so, the shower is yours.
    Chloe: (grabs Clark's shoulders) It's not the shower I want.
    Clark: (pushes her away) Chloe, how much wine did you have to drink at dinner?
    Chloe: (does a little swirl and ends up very close to Clark) Why, you want to share another bottle? Or maybe we could just go for a moonlit walk in the woods?
    Clark: I don't think that Oliver would appreciate it.
    (Lois walks in)
    Lois: Oh my god.
    Clark: (pushes Chloe away again and holds her awkwardly) I Can Explain, sort of. Chloe...
    Lois: You do that. Try to explain in over breakfast maybe next century. (holding up a bottle of lotion) This, I won't be needing. (hands it to Chloe, and the Silver Banshee transfers from Chloe to Lois)
    Clark: (Chloe faints in his arms) Chloe. Chloe?
    Chloe: (weakly) Clark? (sees his bare chest) What are you doing?
    Clark: What are you doing?
    Chloe: Where are my clothes!?
    Clark: I don't know.
    Chloe: What's going on!? (freaks out and runs away)
    • And so both girls are mad with him. This is a very common occurrence to Clark. After they get dressed...
    Clark: You don't remember seeing... (gestures to himself)
    Chloe: No, god, I definitely don't remember seeing that. (realizes) What... wait a minute... was I... did you see... (Clark looks shifty) Oh god...
    Chloe: Okay, so not that I haven't seen enough of Clark Kent's private... life tonight...
    Clark: I don't like where this is going.
    Chloe: You took Lois on a romantic getaway to some sort of a bed-and-breakfast. And while I doubt that the whole breakfast part poses any problem, I seem to recall you having some concern about the beds — and non-powered people — and what would happen in the beds with the non-powered people...
    Clark: Okay, stop!
    Chloe: Thank you.
    Clark: My training with Jor-El has helped me to manage my powers better. Let's just say that I'm in control. Of everything.

    Season ten 
  • Patriot:
    Clark: This isn't a social call.
    Lois: And I am? We practically share a desk chair, but now I'm still not the real work wife.
    Tess: Sorry to interrupt "The Real Housewives of Metropolis"...
    • Gets funnier when you notice the parallel, just like how Lana is jealous of what Clark shares with Chloe. Tess and Chloe also had a Not So Different moment before.
  • Icarus: Oliver and Carter in General Slade Wilson's office, bickering. At one point, Carter reaches over Oliver's shoulder and hits keys on the keyboard like it's a typewriter.
    Carter: I miss my typewriter.
    Oliver: You miss the telegraph. *waves him off* Move over, eight-track.
  • Fortune: Pretty much all of it. Especially when our heroes see a videotape of everything that happened on their drunken night of partying.
    • The whole thing starts with Clark opening a cupboard and a still-not-sober Chloe tumbling out of it wearing a wedding dress.
    Clark: You don't think we...?
    Chloe: Exchanged vows?
    Clark: Uh, well, I mean...
    Chloe: Said "I do"?
    Clark: ...both...
    Chloe: Did the deed? God, don't say the word "consummate." The answer has to be "no."
    • Best part has to be Oliver dressed as a showgirl.
    • Or Clark staggering up with a giant LuthorCorp logo that he's presumably just ripped off a building.
    • Then there's Emil and Tess, who not only end up doing an Elvis impression in front of hundreds of people, but make a Home Porn Movie to boot. It's hysterical. And Tess' reaction is priceless.
      • This troper found Emil's initial reaction hysterical:
      Emil: Ohhhhh no.
    • A still-kinda-drunk Clark takes off at Super Speed, only to crash into a wall and fall over.
  • "Dominion:" The communicator Clark and Oliver were using to keep in touch with Watchtower loses its signal, cutting them off from Tess and Lois. Tess rambles about how the only possible explanations are that the signal was blocked or that the communicator- which is on Clark's wrist- was destroyed. The Oh Crap look on Tess's face when she realizes that she just casually implied that Clark was dead to Lois was honestly hilarious.
    • In the same episode, there's something oddly amusing about Consummate Liar Tess completely failing at lying to Lois when she's trying to hide the fact that she's been instructed to destroy the gate to the Phantom Zone if Clark and Oliver don't get back in a certain amount of time.

    Unsorted 

  • Lionel advises Lex not to tell the press about Clark punching him out over Lana.
    Lex: "I have a small army of political consultants Dad. Last time I checked, you're not on the payroll."
    Lionel: "And last time I checked, Lana Lang had a boyfriend, and I don't think she's in the market for a spare."
  • He may be an Omnicidal Maniac, but Brainiac's Deadpan Snarker tendencies earn him one as well in the following exchange, while still showcasing his arrogance and self-absorption.
    Bizarro: "If you're lying to me, I will find you and finish what Kent started."
    Brainiac: "Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk—there's no point."
  • Clark attempting to fly in "Supergirl".
  • Chloe asks for the JSA's computer. Stargirl unveils the mid-eighties antique that passes as such.
  • This fan's rather extraordinary reaction to the season finale.
    "Yes! Yes! YES! AMERICA!!!"
  • Okay, who could forget this one? In the episode "Wrath", Lana ends up taking on a portion of Clark's powers. Let's just say... on a sunny day, if you happen to stop by the Kent farm and the earth starts rocking... don't come a knocking.
  • Anytime Chloe delivers one of her trademark snarks. It would make anyone laugh.
    • Clark himself has his snarky moments, such as the above-mentioned "a criminal mastermind would have worn a mask" line.
  • In "Rabid", Clark asks Emil if he suffers from motion sickness (or something). "No, not really. Why do you ask?" Clark grabs Emil and takes off at Super Speed, arriving at Metropolis General. After arrival, Emil looks completely unfazed by the whole experience.
  • In "Isis", Cat Grant revealing to Tess her suspicions that Lois is the Blur. Tess' response... is to bust out laughing her ass off at Cat's cluelessness. Which gets Cat to leave the room in a huff.
  • From "Fallout", after finding out Lex was studying the black box holding Brainiac, Jimmy gives us this gem:
    Jimmy Olsen: "Do you know what this means, Chloe? Lex is working... with the Egyptians!"
  • Pretty much, whenever a character is not their normal self, there's bound to be a funny moment or two within that time frame.
  • Davis Bloome gets a great comedic Oh Crap look in Season 8's "Bloodline", when he encounters Lois (possessed by Zod's wife Faora) who claims to be his mom.
  • Clark exasperatedly fishing a tin can out of a bin and beaning a fleeing criminal in the head with it from about 50 yards away in "Warrior".
  • During Absolute Justice, Lois walks in to the JSA head quarters, lampshading horror movie tropes, Doctor Fate pops out of the shadows behinds her, scaring the bejesus out of her, and she comments on his appearance, resulting in this little exchange:
    Lois: Nice helmet
    Doctor Fate:( pleasantly ) Thank you.
  • We also have this lovely exchange between Tess and Oliver:
    Tess: "I can't believe you wear tights."
    Oliver: "They're not tights."
    Tess: "They look like tights."
  • Or this one, where Tess walks into her room and finds Oliver naked in her bed:
    Tess: Where the hell are your pants?
    Oliver: Yeah. Yeah, I hid my pants.

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