Funny / MechWarrior

Mechwarrior 3

  • One from 3.
    Captain Taylor: "But whether you're here or not we'll clear Tranquil before the incoming Smoke Jaguars get in our way. I'm sorry but that's the way it has to be. If it comes to that, dig a deep hole and hide yourselves in it. I'm sure we'll be back for you."
    Dominic "Gunner" Paine: "I'll dig him a hole. Dig it and throw his *Radio static*
    Thomas Sorenson: "Let's try not to make things harder than it already is, all right, Gunner?"
    • And one regarding the mission to take what's left from the Black Hammer's wreckage.
    Allen: Keith made it?! How close? Can he drop some of those [Arrow IV] artillery missiles of his on the convoy for us?
    Gunner: Tech check, Allen. None of us are outfitted with a TAG spotting laser. Without it, Keith is about as accurate as the field base in predicting Clanner moves. No offense.
    • From the Pirate's Moon expansion, the word "dysfunctional" doesn't even begin to describe the "New Belt" pirate lance...
    Scourge: Okay, gimme your ears! This mission is a surgical strike, not a chainsaw massacre. Get me?! Stick to their power sources for now, mop-up comes later.
    Trey: Sure, sure. Focus on the primary objective, no problem.
    Deuce: We heard the briefing, Scourge. Just let us do our jobs.
    Scourge: Fair enough but be advised I will tear you a new one if you bullocks this mission. That's all.
    Trey: Jeeze, I get a little rowdy on leave and wind with the Lance Leader from hell!
    Scourge: Zip it, Trey! You ain't even close to hell yet, don't make me rush your trip!
    • Trey gets in on some humorous snarking with Deuce's commentary.
    One-Eye Ryan: Attention all units this is Captain Ryan, the enemy force has been repelled. Our base is secure. Nicely done, people.
    Scourge: Maybe this time they'll learn not to mess with us.
    Deuce: Shut up, Trey!
    • The addition of Connor Sinclair's characterization for Pirate's Moon also adds some snarking to the surviving, experienced Damocles Commando.
    Connor: I'd like to think this is going to be a milk run but...
    Epona: But you're a sensible man with an IQ above his waistline and realize that the pirates have been anything but predictable.
    Connor: Close enough, Epona. Close enough.
    • Once Allen Matilla rejoins your lance for the first time...
    Allen: Got room for me on this trip, Lieutenant?
    Connor: Glad you could make it, Allen.
    Epona: Nice paint job on your ride, Allen! Blast marks and primer, it's so... You!
    Allen: Love you too, Epona! [mwah] Wide hips an' all!
    Epona: What?! What did you say?!
    Connor: Alright, that's enough. Move out.
    • Just before the penultimate Light Horse mission after Gunner rejoined your lance.
    Connor: Damocles One to all units: Enemy 'Mech presence has been eliminated. Secure from alert status.
    Corona C.O.: This is Corona Base. Don't stray too far. If I were the pirate commander, I'd be moving against your position right now while you're weak.
    Allen: Everyone else ready for round two?
    Gunner: "Join the army, see the galaxy!" What the hell was I thinking?

Mechwarrior 4: Mercenaries

  • Duncan Fisher's "off the wall" commentary from MechWarrior 4: Mercenaries is one of the biggest reasons some people go to Solaris VII.
    Duncan Fisher: When the reactor goes, that's usually a sign you've taken too much damage!
    • ...and here's some the tasteful verbal spice to your kills.
    Duncan Fisher: Whoa! That kid was on fire down there! Of course, now he's literally on fire!
    Duncan Fisher: Welcome to Solaris! Now, let me show you the sky! That's two for Spectre and two ejected pilots who'll be watching from the sidelines.
    • Fisher occasionally adds humorous substance to the Solaris lore during the lulls between player eliminations. Some of them have to do with the Solaris celebrity news. Others have to do with... the irresistible addiction of watching Solaris matches.
    Duncan Fisher: Look at them go! Man I love this game. It has my favorite things! 'Mechs, big guns, and a whole lot of explosions. You know my wife sometimes looks at me strangely. "Duncan," she says, "there's more to life than Solaris." Frankly, it's like she speaks another language. I mean, the words make sense individually, but put them together and it's complete nonsense.
    Duncan Fisher: Couple of years ago, the post season matches got extended two months. I think it was to keep Solaris addicts like me happy, heh, or to make Solaris widows more miserable.
    • It gets even better when you listen to the bloopers.
    George Ledoux: "Take them out of an Atlas and stick 'em in a Camaro, I bet they'll learn a lot about humility!" We should put that in there, see if anyone notices. "I have no weapons! *explosion noises*".
    George Ledoux: "First time they fire that monster [presumably referring to a PPC], you can bet some pilots panic!" Hahahahaha! I read that one.
    George Ledoux: You know if Specter put on a little deer stalker hat and a pipe, he'd look really cute. What do you think, fans?
    • Uncensored takes have also been found.
    George Ledoux: That 'mech is anatomically correct. That's not a Gauss Rifle, folks.
    George Ledoux: "My microphone's up my ass! I sat down on it too hard!" [laughter] "I'm trying to pry it out!"
    • George introduces new, equally humorous lines for Living Legends' Solaris Arena mode and even some blooper lines bleed into the game.
    Duncan Fisher upon a player purchasing a Light 'Mech: My hat's off to the pansy boys in the Light 'Mechs. Way to go, Light 'Mechs!
    Duncan Fisher upon a player purchasing an asset that's meant for/requires friendly support: To bring that onto the field, you need to be incredibly skilled or crazy. Safe guess is that guy's off his meds.
    Duncan Fisher upon the death of a 'Mech with an Awesome Mc Cool Name such as an Awesome: That 'Mech did not live up to it's name.
  • Also in Mercenaries, your 'mech will sometimes do the monkey after a successful match. Yes, your 'mech can dance. This is due to the fact the game doesn't assign any unique AI actions for your 'mech sometimes, thus if you turn as player control is taken away for the cutscene, your 'mech will keep turning on it's own.

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