Funny / MADtv (1995)

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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• "O.J. Simpson: The Interview: Bloopers, Blunders, & Boners."
• Their parody of the Ashlee Simpson lip-syncing incident (which happened on their rival show, Saturday Night Live)
• Their parody of The View with all the panelists as literal hens.
• The censored version of The Sopranos (which would come true years later, only The Sopranos would be syndicated on A&E, not the now-defunct PAX Network, and would be edited a tad better than what was depicted in the sketch: strip club scenes are redone as Family Friendly Strip Club scenes, violent scenes are replaced with less-violent alternate takes, and offensive words are replace with less-offensive alternatives).
• A sketch involving Ike (Orlando Jones) and Tina Turner (Debra Wilson) takes a turn when the REAL Ike Turner shows up...
• The Unwed Mothers sketch is funny alone based on the very long last names of the mothers (portrayed by Alex Borstein and Debra Wilson) and the professor (Will Sasso).
• The Omni Bowl!
• John Madden with the Quick Pop Popcorn Popper.
• Kenny Rogers' Jackass!
  • Also, the version of Jackass with Oprah Winfrey (Debra Wilson) getting pranked by Steadman (Aries Spears).
  • Hell, make it Kenny Rogers' anything.
• Their fake commercial for Scrabble, starring Bill Cosby, Little Richard, Evander Holyfield and Don King — all played by Aries Spears.
• Similarly, Bill Cosby's (played by Orlando Jones) attempt at lampooning Modern Minstrelsy with "The New Cosby Show"... only to have it be a critical and popular hit and get picked up for 8 more seasons.
• "Nice White Lady," the funniest "teacher inspires inner-city classroom" parody ever, and something that single-handedly makes it impossible to take Freedom Writers (or any movie about a white teacher trying to reform a class full of ethnically diverse teenagers who live in the ghetto and think the dangerous street life is the only way to live) seriously.
• This parody of The Calling's "Where You Will Be" music video, featuring Taran Killam in his pre-SNL days as the lead singer of The Calling (Alex Band), Will Sasso as Scott Stapp from Creed, Michael McDonald as Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam and a surprise appearance by Aries Spears as Ray Charles.
• This sketch about two guys (Ike Barinholtz and Josh Meyers) who question their sexuality while watching football. Doubly funny when you realize Josh's older brother Seth did something similar on SNL with Bill Hader's Stefon character, and, unlike this sketch, it was a recurring bit on Weekend Update and it had a happier, yet more bizarre ending.
• A lot of the music video parodies they had were hilarious, such as "I'm Sorry, Mrs. Jackson," "My Slumps," "What's On TV?", "It's A Vancome Life," and "Syphilis Girl."
• An opening sketch involving Will Sasso, Mo Collins, and Debra Wilson has the latter two tell Will that he was funnier when he was The Fat Guy. Will then goes on a quest before showtime to regain all his weight. In said quest, he stuffs his face at the craft services table, eats dangerous amounts of butter, steals Girl Scout cookies, is thought to have microwaved a dog (but actually microwaved some ribs and told the dog he can't have any), and assaults a woman trying to drink her breast milk. Between those scenes, he punches a stage hand out three times and steals his sandwich. The result makes him more fatter than he ever was and even falling through the floor lights.
• "The Son of Dolemite Meets Blackbelt Jones," replete with Bad "Bad Acting" and Dull Surprise.
  Eight o'clock! In Pasadena!
• The skit where Arnold Schwarzenegger (Will Sasso) gives viewers a sneak peek at his new movie Stolen Identity 3 (so named because "sequels make millions of dollars at the box office!"). The movie itself is pretty much a parody of just about every movie Arnie's ever done (specifically The 6th Day, Terminator, End of Days, and even Junior).
  • Arnold's character meets two of his clones, one of whom is dressed exactly like the Terminator and says he (Arnold's character) must die because he knows the secret, then asks "Which one are you?" Cue confused grunting and gibberish from all three characters.
• "Arnold's Bedtime," which has Arnold and Maria Shriver (Mo Collins) in bed going over the script for his latest movie The Devil's Clone and Maria complaining to Arnold about how he's getting too old to be in action movies. Arnold isn't amused.
  • The skit ends with Maria throwing Arnold out the window after he calls her "Franken-head" and he calls for her to call Dr. Brady because "I can my penis on the roof of the Humvee."
• Gump Fiction
  • There's even a clip of Phil LaMarr (who played Marvin in the original Pulp Fiction) cowering against a wall and shouting "NOT AGAIN!"
• Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in an ice cream parlor.
  Al Pacino: Perfect day—RUINED!!!
• Mexican Star Trek. All of the actors speak Spanish.
• Swan: The Movie, with Dennis Hopper playing the inspector who questions Miss Swan (played in the movie by Susan Sarandon), whose moronic answer ("He look-a like-a man") drives him up the wall.
  • And then the actual Miss Swan enters the shoot, and Hopper screams "GET OUT OF THE SHOT, LADY!"
• There's Something About Monica
  • The ending of the sketch has Hillary Clinton, acting like a violent dog, biting Bill's crotch and, moments after that, she leaps at Bill, who ducks out the way, causing Hillary to go flying out the window much like in the original movie.
• The Liar Liar parody where Chelsea Clinton wishes her father would tell the truth which, as a politician, can be very dangerous.
• The Sopranos on Family Feud:
  • Paulie is inexplicably the host:
    What happened to Louie Anderson?
    He, uh, had a swimming lesson.
  • When Tony is asked what he does for a living and he lies "Waste management," Junior yells "Bullshit!" Tony admonishes his son, and the host backs Tony up, saying "That's right, Anthony Jr., you respect your bleep-ing father!"
  • "That's how we're gonna play today, bitch!"
  • Tony's mother (Mo Collins) ranting about how horribly she's been treated as the timer counts down. Topped off with Tony screaming "MOM, SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP AND ANSWER THE (BLEEP)ING QUESTION!"
    • Tony then fires a gun at the board, revealing the correct answer and winning the game.
• Suddenly Millennium
  • Pay close attention to the laugh track during this sketch. It's used over and over.
• The Gangstashop Quartet. Gangster rap as performed by a barbershop quartet.
• Is it wrong to add the sketch where an artist wants a government grant from a Senator but when the Senator (who lets out Freudian slips that he's a pedophile) looks at the art, he claims he keeps seeing "Young Naked Boys."
  Mr. Leo Squid: That one's called "Puppies, Puppies and more Puppies."
  Senator Hodgekins: Why you don't just say it as it is? "Naked Boys! Naked Boys! And more sweaty, glistening Naked Boys!"
  • "I! AM NOT! A PEDOPHILE!!!"
• Gus the Custodian, as played by David Herman.
• Howard Stern makes an appearance on Talkin' America and generally makes offensive comments. The sketch ends with one of the hosts (played by Aries Spears) running off-camera after Howard after the King of All Media makes an insulting remark, followed by the sounds of him beating the shit out of him.
  • Rui (Will Sasso) confusing "King of All Media" for "King of Armenia."
• One episode of "Real Mother*** Talk" had a guest commentator say the "N word" before realizing his mistake, followed by a Stunned Silence and angry glares from his black co-commentators. Finally, Dollar Bill Montgomery tells him, "Look here, man. We not gonna kill you; you just gonna turn up missing."
• Jack Nicholson (Pat Kilbane), Steven Seagal (Will Sasso), and Prince (Phil LaMarr) having a pajama party, and getting interrupted by Eddie Murphy (Aries Spears).
• "The Keanu Reeves School of Acting"
• One True Impact with Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme. A gripping drama about two brothers coming to terms with the death of their father. Dull Surprise and Questionable Casting doesn't begin to describe it.
• The Riverboy. Basically? Adam Sandler's character from The Waterboy does Riverdance.
• "The Mike Tyson Grill," a parody of infomercials for the George Foreman Grill. At one point, Mike Tyson (Aries Spears) tells us to "just listen to these testimonials from people I don't even know" and then proceeds to appear as various people supposedly shilling the grill, when in fact it's just him in bad disguises. "Hi! I'm a grandmother now. I mean, I'm a grandmother."
• The skit where The Terminator is sent back in time in order to protect Jesus. Yes, it is as absurd as it sounds.
  • The Terminator asking Jesus "What are you, a glutton for punishment?" after Jesus tells him off for killing the soldiers coming to arrest him.
  • The exchange between Jesus and the Terminator about how the latter shouldn't go around killing people, ending with Jesus looking upwards to Heaven and asking God to forgive the Terminator because "he is a robot from the future." A clueless Terminator then looks upward himself.
  • The Terminator shooting Judas each time Jesus resurrects him, and Jesus getting fed up with his actions. The whole thing ends with the Terminator tricking everyone into thinking Pontius Pilate is coming before shooting Judas yet again, and Jesus stalks towards him, angrily demanding he "Gimme that gun!"
  • The final scene has the Terminator saying "Don't worry, he'll be back" and then asking a weeping woman "What?"
• The Kirk and Spock Variety Hour
  • The June Taylor Tribble Dancers, who do their thing to a variation of the famous fight scene music from "Amok Time."
  • Phyllis Diller going "Beam me out of here, Scotty. This show sucks!"
  • All the times Kirk sings. At one point, he's accompanied by Spock doing slow dance moves.
  • A skit within the skit has Spock dressed up as a little boy in a sailor costume and complaining to Kirk, playing a salesman, about his "defective lollipop." When Kirk tells him he can't take the lollipop back, Spock proceeds to go "Wah, wah, wah" in his usual stoic manner.
    • Then, Sammy Davis, Jr. shows up, playing Spock's father ("Who upset my groovy Vulcan kid?").
  • Will Sasso, Pat Kilbane, and Phil LaMarr corpsing after Phil, as Sammy, says, about Spock's lollipop, "That's a bigger bite than my agent takes!" It takes them a few moments to regain their composure.
• "Scared Straight Anywhere," which ends with the two hardened criminals (played by Will Sasso and Aries Spears) harassing Sean Connery (Pat Kilbane) on a movie set.
  Criminal: Say your name is "Tiffany!"
  Sean Connery: No, it's Sean Connery!
  Criminal: (grabs Connery's script and throws it to the ground) Man, do you know I will RAPE YOU?!
  Sean Connery: (Beat) My name is Tiffany.
• GI Jackson. Michael Jackson joins the Navy SEALs, and Sean Connery (Pat Kilbane) plays a Drill Sergeant Nasty who, on orders of Janet Reno (Alex Borstein), makes live hell for Jackson.
• Any skit of Will Sasso as Steven Seagal which shows him as a thick-headed figure who inevitably snaps someone's neck.
  • On the set of "Kung Fu the Movie," Seagal gets into an argument with co-star David Carradine that ends with a Neck Snap...only for Carradine to get right up as if it's just a minor ache. Then he does it to Seagal.
• Dennis Miller: Police Negotiator, in which the eponymous character has to talk down a suicidal man.
  • Miller's rant after the jumper says he doesn't have time for his actions:
    Dennis Miller: Ah-ha-ha-ha! You think you got it tough, Chachi? I'm trying to stuff my self-esteem into a cerebral safety deposit box so I can go out and hawk M&Ms, Pepsi, and Victoria's Secret panties! Plus I gotta talk you down off the top of some edifice obviously designed by a graduate of the Tex Avery School of Architecture, while being second-guessed by Nancy Drew and John Shaft! Still, you don't see me punching the ecclesiastical time clock!
  • Followed by this speech which ends up sending not only the jumper, but the three police officers trying to help, over the edge:
    Dennis Miller: Let me just say to the rest of you out there assembled like a bunch of Clockwork Orange droogs—take a fiver. Pull your (bleep) together. Life can be one tough game of roller-ball, cubby, and every Boy Scout isn't gonna make it to the final jamboree. So you gotta hang on, sloopy. You gotta grab your bootstraps. You gotta yank yourself up. And if you can't manage that Ferrigno-like clean-and-jerk, then frankly, you have to kill yourself.
  • Topped by Miller's completely perplexed expression and this line:
    Dennis Miller: Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong!
• The Sesame Street sketch involving the bird flu. Big Bird ends up spreading the bird flu across the block and ends up killing many different Muppets, including Elmo. At the end Gordon douses him with gasoline and then sets him on fire.
• The Captain Kirk Show
  • Spock's response to Martha Stewart saying he was touching her head before she came out onto the stage: "I was merely attempting to conduct the pre-interview."
  • After Spock is beamed out, Martha asks Kirk "How did you beam Leonard Nimoy out of your studio?", to which Kirk replies "His name is 'Spock,' Martha. Come on, get with the program."
  • Spock's "man on the street" segment, in which Kirk keeps telling him to say "I am Spock" to a random guy and laughs uproariously each time he does.
• Pretty much any of the "Lowered Expectations" sketches, but especially the one with Rick.
• The alternate ending to The Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy flips and lashes out at Glinda after discovering she could have gone home the whole time.
• The "alternate endings" for Gone with the Wind. Introduced by "Slave Girl #8" (she's the only one who's still alive), who has to re-enact the racial stereotype of her previous role, which she eventually notes is kind of degrading.
  • First ending: Rhett goes on a profanity-laden tirade after Scarlett begs him not to leave, and punches her in the stomach before walking off in disgust ("Audiences didn't like that ending at all").
  • Second ending: Rhett, Scarlett, and some of the soldiers and slaves suddenly break into a dance number.
  • Third ending: Rhett just gets on a broom and flies off, and Scarlett follows him on a jetpack on the advice of Abraham Lincoln and a talking penguin ("It's a mystery to me why they filmed this last ending at all").
• The "alternate endings" to The Sound of Music are also equally funny.
  • First ending: the von Trapp family are shot and killed by the Nazis (with their deaths being staged reminiscent of the Romanovs' executions). The audience were appalled by this one, especially the children's deaths.
  • Second ending: the Von Trapps join the Nazis. This ending was popular only in Germany, Argentina, and parts of the US Midwest.
    These are a few of the things that I hate
    Jews and Menorrahs, the women of horrors
    Gay people, black people! We'll bust down their doors
    Japs are okay if they stay in the war
    Hitler's the guy that we all adore
    
    Round the Jews up-
  • Third ending: the kids fight back with X-Men-style superpowers.

• Blades: Blade (Aries Spears) and Karl Childers (Pat Kilbane) team up to take on Christopher Walken (Andrew Bowen) as Deacon Walken.
  • Deacon Walken's take on the infamous "gold watch" speech from Pulp Fiction, only instead of a gold watch, it's a cake. With a lit candle.
  • After a protracted fight between Deacon and Blade and Deacon has Blade at his mercy, Karl takes down Deacon with one blow. Deacon's dull reaction ("Ow") is priceless.
  • This exchange, with Spears perfectly imitating Wesley Snipes' angry growl:
    "Ah, Blade! Where's your 'Karl' friend?"
    "He's out gettin' FRENCH FRIES!"
• In the middle of "C.R.A.P.", about bad summer movies and sequels and the show's parody of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.," "50 Cent" delivers a spoken rant about the sorry state of affairs in movies these days.
  "50 Cent": I mean seriously, whatever happened to strong characters, believable dialogue and following a 3 act story arc? Damn!
• The Christmas-themed Saw parody:
  Jigsaw: I must say, that girl's body is smoking. It's a shame you won't be kissing her, Raymond.
  Bobby I just want to get out of here...
  Jigsaw: Are you saying you want me to kiss off?
  Bobby No, I'm just very scared...
  Jigsaw: Perhaps you want your mama to hug and kiss you?
  Bobby: No, um, why do you keep saying-
  Jigsaw: Okay, look in the mistletoe, jackass!
• The opening to the Fear Factor spoof.
  Joe Rogan: Welcome to Fear Factor, I'm Joel Rogland... Rojum? Well, the cue cards are going a little fast. Maybe we can slow 'em down? The stunts you are about to see are very, very dangerous. Try them at home. (Beat) Whatever I just said, there's supposed to be a "don't" in there somewhere. So, maybe we can slow the cue cards down, huh?
• The "Birth Control Pilgrim" sketch, which is about a miniature pilgrim cockblocking people and generally being prudish.
• "Verb Alert":
  • The skit begins with the titular alarm system simply declaring "THE DOOR IS AJAR! THE DOOR IS AJAR!" And then host Roland Backison introduces a bunch of customized and oddly-specific alerts, such as "YOUR BASEMENT DOOR IS OPEN!" and "PEGGY'S FATHER WITH ALZHEIMER'S IS ESCAPING!"
  • The basement door Verb Alert informing Peggy that "THE BASEMENT DOOR WAS JIMMIED WITH A BACK-SCRATCHER!"
    Peggy: Thank you, Roland! (to her dad) Give it!
  • Even the dog door gets a Verb Alert too.
    Dog door Verb Alert: DOG IS OUT! DOG IS OUT!
  • The Verb Alert on the fridge has this to say to whoever opens it:
    Fridge Verb Alert: GET MOVIN' FATTY, NOTHIN' TO SEE! NOTHIN' TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS!
  • Even the undersink area and the cleaners in it have Verb Alerts:
    Verb Alert on the undersink area door: JUNIOR'S IN THE PESTICIDES!^note for added bonus, it sounds like "pissticides"
    Verb Alert on the Windex: HOLY PISS! HE'S DRINKIN' THE WINDEX LIKE IT'S SODA POP!
  • "I didn't do anything!" "THAT KID IS A LYING BASTARD! THAT KID IS A LYING BASTARD!...that was me, not the Verb Alert!"
  • While the parents are scrambling to find the ipecac so they can get their son to vomit all the Windex back out, they end up setting off multiple Verb Alerts at once. And then a burglar, the exact reason the Verb Alert was invented, opens the kitchen window and starts firing away.
    Kitchen window Verb Alert: THERE'S A BURGLAR AT THE KITCHEN WINDOW! SHOOT HIM! THERE'S A BURGLAR AT THE KITCHEN WINDOW! SHOOT HIM!
    *The dad goes to get a gun*
    Gun drawer Verb Alert: THE GUN DRAWER IS OPEN! THE GUN DRAWER IS OPEN!
  • In the midst of the firefight, Roland gets shot, and it's revealed that the back of his vest also has a Verb Alert. And he seems apathetic enough about his impending death to still shill one final product.
    Verb Alert: ROLAND BACKISON HAS BEEN SHOT IN THE BACK BY A STRAY BULLET! ROLAND BACKISON HAS BEEN SHOT IN THE BACK BY A STRAY BULLET!
    Roland: Did ya hear that? That's me! It's my new Verbal Alert Shirt System, and if you order now, you'll get one for free! (cough) Isn't that...fantastic?
    Verb Alert: ROLAND BACKISON IS DEAD! ROLAND BACKISON IS DEAD!
• Smith Comma John, Human Being for President. Soooo NOT an alien...
• Every sketch featuring Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, which isn't a surprise as it lead to their own spin off series.
• Everything about Keagan's COACH HINES.
• Bunifa tends to invoke Everything Is Racist to help get her way - until she encounters Katisha Latisha Parisha Farisha Johnson, played by Tyra Banks, who doesn't hesitate to call her out on her BS. But when her white coworker tries to intervene and calm them down...

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