Recurring characters
Coach Hines
Kenny Rogers
Ms. Swan
"Okay, I teh you evryteen."
Portrayed by: Alex Borstein
- Ambiguously Brown: The character is sometimes seen as fitting Asian stereotypes (particularly Asian Speekee Engrish), and was a prime source of some of the show's criticism; however, no actual sketch specifically indicates that Miss Swan is in fact Asian (Borstein herself insists that she is not)
Stuart Larkin
"Look what I can do!"
Portrayed by: Michael McDonald
Stuart is a rude, spoiled, adult-sized child who often gets into mischief and torments the adults around him. In his appearances in earlier seasons he was accompanied by his doting alcoholic mother Doreen (Mo Collins).- Affection-Hating Kid: Hates being touched or manhandled by adults, telling them to stay away from his "danger zone".
- Catchphrase"
- "Look what I can do!"
- "Let me do it!"
- "Doooooooooooon't!"
- "Stay away from my danger zone!"
- Doreen has her own catchphrase: "What does Mama say?"
- Enfant Terrible: Frequently gets into trouble, and exhibits what could accurately be described as antisocial behavior.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Is genuinely affectionate towards his grandmother, to the point where she is the only adult he allows to touch him.
- Also seems fond of his father, even though he left him and Doreen.
- Genius Ditz: Is hinted to be highly intelligent despite his disruptive behavior and lacking social skills, such as when he plays exceptionally well at the piano on only his second lesson.
- My Beloved Smother: Has this dynamic with Doreen.
Vancome Lady
"Cha, ya know what? Nuh uh!"
Portrayed by: Nicole Sullivan
The Vancome Lady is a sarcastic, obnoxious, mean-spirited woman who spitefully insults or causes trauma to everyone in her path. Worked as a Vancome cosmetics clerk in her first appearance (hence her name), but finds herself in other occupations which put her in contact with unsuspecting victims.- Artifact Name: She only worked at "Vancome" (a fictitious cosmetics company) for her first sketch, and was fired by the end of it. Any mention of her on this or any website will explain why.
- Catchphrase:
- "Ya know what? Uh-uh!"
- "La-la-la-la-la-la!"
- Hypocrite: Accuses a little boy dressed as a ghost of holding racist views against black people (comparing his ghost attire to KKK robes), right before she herself torments his black friend with a litany of her own racist jokes and remarks.
- Jerkass: She lives to abuse, insult, and ridicule everyone who crosses her path for no reason.
