The Show1x01 "Pilot"
- Brian's first line in the episode.
Brian: The first thing you need to know is that I didn't do anything wrong.
- How does Brian get the FBI to come over to the bank so he can prove his innocence? By pretending he's a bank robber.
- The whole sequence of Brian being tested by the FBI to figure out why he's immune to NZT's side effects. It's clear that Brian is absolutely bored by his narration.
- At one point, his boredom is great enough to make paper mache puppets of his two bodyguards and making them kiss.
- Brian's fantasy of working for the FBI involves playing Baccarat while on a case...he just has this tiny little detail wrong:
Fantasy!Rebecca: Brian, you don't play Baccarat with Uno cards.
Brian: Just shut up, okay? This is my fantasy, it's not yours.
- Later it becomes a Brick Joke. As when he needs extra cash, he goes to a casino to play Baccarat.
- Brian asks for a badge and a gun from the FBI. Boyle gives him a tap roll and a dispenser with post-it notes attached reading "Badge" and "Gun".
- A flashback shows Brian's high school report on The Iliad: "I did not read the Iliad. Maybe honesty counts for points?"
- Rebecca finds Brian and his research in her apartment after he broke out of FBI custody (again). She tells him he's got one minute to explain, and he asks for two because the NZT wore off. And when her timer goes off, he meekly asks if he can keep going.
- Brain getting around a Corrupt Corporate Executive's refusal to cooperate by exploiting the fact that he's a Bad Boss - he tells his employees to email the incriminating files to him. Within 30 seconds he's got ten messages.
Brian: Hey remember when you didn't think you were going to jail five minutes ago? That was dope.
- Also, he doesn't have an FBI email yet, so he has to use NinjaVersusBear@ReabosrbedTwin.com.
- Brian's Imagine Spot of Marcos Ramos takes on the form of an old movie, ending with him throwing someone to piranhas.
Boyle: Marcos Ramos didn't feed anyone to piranhas.Brian: Well, maybe not... but he could have. He seems like a piranha guy to me.
- Rebecca's Awesome Take-down! Which Brian completely imagines since he's not allowed to actually pursue the criminals.
Imaginary!Rebecca: You ran like a rabbit, and now you're gonna die like a snake!
Rebecca: Why would I say that? It doesn't even make sense.
Brian: I don't know. It's cool?
- Brian refusing to learn Mike and Ike's real names.
- Brian guessing at Mike and Ike's skill sets...while doing an over-the-top wrestling match announcer voice. He also figures that Ike is an expert knife thrower maybe.
- Also, he somehow managed to forget Ike's name...even though NZT allows him to recall every memory he has.
- Brian falling down the laundry chute.
- Naz being completely unimpressed with Brian while she tries to explain the responsibilities that come with being assigned a classified case, since he came to work wearing a Female Body Inspector shirt and ended up spilling coffee on the important documents.
- Brian trying to convince Mike to give him another pill.
Mike: They gave me two rules. One pill a day, and don't let you get hurt. No way I'm breaking rule one.
Brian:...what about rule number two?
Mike: One pill a day.
- Brian attempts to fight a suspect...and gets knocked out in one punch.
Brian: I don't get it! I've seen Enter the Dragon like fifteen times!
- Later at the debriefing, Naz asks Brian if he's okay. He turns around with an icepack pressed against his face and mopes about Bruce Lee lying to him.
- After discovering that the FBI had a file on Rebecca's father's NZT usage, Brian makes several video messages to himself for when he's off the pill to make sure he understands why telling Rebecca is a terrible idea. The first video involves clay puppets of him and his circle, as well as the Brian puppet being crushed by a boot and chopped up to demonstrate what happens if he goes to prison or lets Sands find out what he's done. The second one has him explain the situation in song.
Sands: Why is there a clay effigy of myself on your coffee table?
- Later, Sands visits his apartment and sees the clay models still on the table.
Brian: You? Pfft. That's Charles Barkley.
- Brian sneaking into the rehab centre.
Brian *cheerily*: Hi, my name's Mike Ikerson and I'm an addict!
- Just to start, most of the episode counts since it's an homage to ''Ferris Bueller's Day Off". Almost all of the opening scene is Brian reenacting Ferris' dialogue to the viewer.
- Instead of explaining how to fake sickness, Brian explains how to hide NZT pills in your album covers. He suggests having one with just the right amount of skeletons and naked people.
- He ends up giving his CIA kidnappers nicknames from the movie: Rooney, Cameron, and Abe Froman (sausage king of Chicago). The scene with this also features stone-faced Malik Yoba doing Rooney's over-enunciated "nine times".
- When Rebecca appears as a representation of Brian's inner mind, she's dressed like Sloane.
- Regarding the Rebecca vision, the whole scene goes back and forth between disturbing (she's Brian's inner conscience convincing him that he needs to kill his captors in order to survive) and hilarious (since she's trying to explain that she's actually Brian himself, but appearing as Rebecca, which he knows, because she's him...).
- In the opening scene, Mike and Ike actually refer to each other by Brian's nicknames for them.
- The episode opens up with Ike tossing Brian "Mike & Ike" candy.
- Brian's disappointment that Naz's choice of codeword is "pomegranate".
- While trying to reassure Ava that Mitra will be rescued successfully, Brian can't help but quote Taken.
- Brian and Rebecca are able to make contact with somebody who can identify which pirate crew has Mitra after the first one is attacked...and it's a teenage boy who wants them to tweet about his website so he can get American followers in exchange for the information. Apparently, the FBI can do that too!
- Brian swipes ADIC Johnson's phone and sends a text to everyone in his contact list saying that he has "micropenis". You can also see the person he is messaging "person is texting alert" turn on and off several times, pretty much showing how flabbergasted she is from such a statement.
- Brian and Rebecca playing Screw, Marry, Kill, with predictable results.
Rebecca: Screw Casey, marry B - oh god, I could never marry Boyle. Kill Finch. Definitely kill Finch.
- In the first one, they both kill the bomb guy from episode two. Brian screw's Mike and marries Ike, while Rebecca considers marrying Mike before asking which one Mike is. Brian declares that she already made her choice and has to go to the next round.
- The second round, between Casey (Rebecca's actual boyfriend), Boyle, and Brian himself.
- Brian talking about his insufferable roommate with an obsession with pinball machines being one of the reasons he dropped out of college...before panning over to him with a bong, and Brian saying in a defensive tone "I said ONE of the reasons!"
- - with an exclamation point.
- Both funny and mixed with a bit of heartwarming, Boyle adds a sticky-note with an ! on it next to the H.Q. title on Brian's new office since the FBI didn't do it.
- Brian's incessant badgering of Naz to get a Headquarters lasts thirty-five days.
- The return of the clay effigies. One of which gets rammed into a paper-shredder.
- Of the various assignments Brian hands out to his team (the Bruntouchables), one guy is sent to infiltrate a cult and ends up joining them, and Ike is sent to the wilderness of Greenland while Mike gets to go to Costa Rica. What really makes it funny is their video feed being on at the same time where Mike is lounging by the pool in the sun and Ike is freezing his butt off.
- Brian tells his parents that he could get them tickets to any show except Hamilton.
- Everyone is calling them Mike and Ike now.
Ike: You can tell Mike that he can go-*click*
- Including each other!
- One of the members calls out Brian for losing track of the person he was after, wondering how is going to "pick up his scent". Gilligan Cut to Brian smelling the evidence bag (he figured out how to give himself synesthesia). Which he learned because of a girl who was very enthusiastic of using this for foreplay.
- Then when he looks at Rebecca she is glowing purple. Brian tells her he thought her color would be "tougher". Cue her a bit startled at the belief she is a "pink".
- Brian has an Imagine Spot of Rebecca catching one of the criminals almost like she was Batman, complete with her doing an Offhand Backhand.
- Brian got a contract killer, serving consecutive life sentences, with nothing left to lose, to flip on who hired him... for a dozen Conney Island bagels.
- A WEEK!
- Ike has been miserable holding up in a research station with a couple who haven't seen anybody for weeks. He starts to get paranoid thinking they're going to eat him. It turns out they are the kidnapper and his wife that Ike was sent to find. Brian reveals that Ike was in the bottom if his class at Quantico.
- The episode's shout-out to 22 Jump Street that shows the future adventures of the Bruntouchables as cheesy movie concepts.
- Brian's reaction to Mike changing the group name from "Bruntouchables" to "Muntouchables" when the latter gets promoted to director.
- Brian really wants his jetpack.
- Brian states he knows why Hollywood makes hacking look so fancy, because in real life it is BORING. So instead of showing us him learning about hacking he just puts a bunch of videos of stuff blowing up.
- Then later uses videos of cats.
- He then hacks the New York Stock Exchange "just to take a peek".
- When he shows off that he hacked the arm to Quincy, he makes the hand do a Rock On gesture. Then the hand keeps making gestures in the background.
- Then when explaining to him how he hacked the device, an alarm just goes up covering anything he says with the text saying TECH TALK ALERT!
- The montage of peoples arms going out of control. Complete with Brian coining the term that this is Arm-ageddon. Everyone groans to it.
- Then later Arm-pocalypse. Same reaction.
- Then Brian and Rebecca try arm puns against each other.
- Anytime he speaks with the hacker collective Everywhere, he imagines them as personifications of their screen names - which include such gems as "BlackFlagBaby" and "Andrew_Jacksons_Goiter".
- Brian sends the arm hack code to Everywhere, solely so they can make the killer punch himself in the face non-stop.
- He blatantly frames the hacker to get him deported: such as sending vibrators, bacon, and a billboard with him wearing a shirt that says HAIL SATAN.
- Mike has Brian on his speed dial only as "Him".
- Brian has Mike and Ike fetch him a variety of random objects simply because they have to take care of him.
- Ike's anxiety over potentially being stuck babysitting Brian manifests in many humorous ways:
- He develops a psychosomatic rash that only gets worse
- He has a recurring nightmare where the current Mike leaves and he is partnered with a succession of replacement Mikes, including a female Mike with whom Ike goes through a year's worth of one-sided relationship drama. The current Mike is perturbed by his partner's vivid imagination.
- Ike is in a coma and Brian is at his bedside. He and Mike discuss whether or not Ike is aware of his surroundings. Turns out that Brian is getting through to Ike but as a nightmare sequence where Ike is stuck running on a hamster wheel while Brian's giant floating head haunts him.
- The Stavros sequence.
- Brian's Imagine Spot of how he could be exposed about his connection to Morra. It's hilarious in how over the top it is.
- The return of Badass Brian and Mr. Happy Nice Guy Brian arguing over whether Brian should kill Piper, who then bring in backup - Rebecca appears on Nice Brian's side, wearing a matching sweater, while Sands appears on Badass Brian's side with a matching leather jacket and aviators. Then Ike shows up in Brian's head, holding the Nice Guy sweater and complaining about it making him itch. Badass Brian offers him to join his side, but apparently leather sticks to Ike's skin.
- The fact that all mentions of serial killers and anything related is censored out by Brian's brain. Which takes the form of one of those old kid shows. The fact the actors could say things like "serial hugger" or serial killers by "Mr. Insert ice cream flavor here" with such seriousness and straight faces makes it even more hilarious. Its almost like Comically Serious was given a dose of NZT.
- The opening has Mike and Ike trying to find someone to be the third bodyguard for Brian (who Brian calls 'Spike') Candidate one fails for not tolerating Brian, candidate two gives a very long handshake that Brian doesn't like, and Brian is about ready to throw out candidate three for over eagerness... when the guy reveals he shares the same interests as Brian,
- The montage of strange crimes and how he solved them when Mike and Ike describe Brian to the candidates.
- "Spike's" real name is censored just like Mike and Ike.
- Brian once again thinks of an awesome scenario where Rebecca and Boyle are disarming a bomb, only for them to tell him there was absolutely no action. Brian then chides them for once again ruining his imagination to perk things up.
- The reason Sands wanted to meet Brian at a museum? They were having an event he wanted to go to.
- While breaking into the evidence locker, Brian tries to rationalize it by listing all the illegal things he's already done for the sake of a case. Some gems from the ensuing Long List:
- One of the visions Brian had with what he thought an outcome will be when they head to the evidence locker. Was Sands killing everyone but him and Sands stating he was going to take him to safety.
- Mike and Ike has picked up some of Brian's habits. When they come to talk to Naz about Spike, they bring with them illustrations and puppets to better present their point. Naz tells them to cut it out and simply tell her what they found out.
- When Brian has known that Spike was The Mole since the start. The episode pretty much becomes a Rewatch Bonus of Brian doing all he can to take advantage of his Professional Butt-Kisser service. Which makes the naked painting part even funnier.
- Spike sitting in front of his naked portrait with him correcting the people looking at it that the size wasn't to scale.
- The Bollywood number with Brian and Lucy also features Mike and Ike and the janitor.
- To Brian, Sands life reads like a comic book. So every time Brian explains about Sand's past it's illustrated as a comic book.
- Brian's epic Brain Bleach moment when he finds out Ike slept with his sister in HIS apartment and the fact that Ike lied about taking a bullet for him. He orders both of them to bleach clean his entire apartment before he gets back.
- Brian finds out Piper is in jail. How does Brian break her out? By going to a high up member in the government and bribes him with spoilers of Game of Thrones directly from George R.R. Martin.
- It's clear Mike and Ike get some joy out of throwing out Brian's paper-mache dolls of them.
- How much Brian fought to keep his bong.
- After Rebecca starts seeing her father while on NZT, she asks Brian if he ever has such visions. He explains that it's their brains' way of compartmentalizing their own thoughts so that they're easier to process, and he's had several of his own "guides" while on the drug. When she asks if anyone is there now, he says it's Josef Stalin.
Brian: *beat* Kidding. It's Ringo Starr. He's telling me to march to the beat of my own drum.
- When Brian asks his co-worker Grover about an NZT party, Grover asks if he's a narc and Brian uses a Sarcastic Confession: "Yes, I work for the FBI and I have an office at a place labeled Headquarters!"
- Grover's entire space cadet talk.
Grover: Are you on the bus because this train is leaving the station.
- When Brian and Grover infiltrate said NZT party, the host is rambling on a conspiracy theory about Taylor Swift being in the Illuminati, which is apparently led by Beyonce.
- Brian imagines Sand and his team in silver and red suits (complete with capes and Underwear of Power) conducting a meeting inside a raging volcano and complaining about the financial cost of building a lair inside said volcano.
- He also imagines a Canadian suspect as wearing a supervillain outfit patterned on the Canadian flag.