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Funny: James Rolfe

  • The totally Not Safe for Work Dorothy Goes To Hell is one great moment after the other. But the best part by far is the ending. Seriously, just watch that video, spoiling anything would be unforgivable (it does however require knowledge of Return to Oz, so you might want to watch his review of it first).
  • In his review of the new Ghostbusters game, the Nerd gets ready to slam it with James, he is put in his place when James says that it is NOT shitty. The look on the Nerd's face is absolutely hilarious.
  • The fourth Monster Madness has had plenty, thanks in part to most of the movies being terrible.
  • Him and Mike review the menu screen (No, really) of the The Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Mario's Greatest Movie Moments DVD just to show how bizarre it is. They poke fun at Inspector Gadget's tour of the menu screen and proceed to mimic him throughout the review.
    • It gets even funnier when they start impersonating Inspector Gadget with an animated Gadget image super-imposed over their faces.
      James: (As Inspector Gadget) You fucked up.
    Gadget: A new page will load, so don't be supWISED!
    • Not to mention the ending of that video:
    Dr. Claw: (beating up the Gadget logo) BAAAH!!! I finally got you, Gadget, you motherfucker!!!
  • From his review of The Shining during his movie segment:
    James: Oh no! Not Tuesday!
  • The entirety of Michelangelo's Pizza Taste Test where James and his friends try out Mikey's various pizza recipes.
    James: That was pretty good actually.
    Female: You want another one?
    James: *quickly* No.
    • When tasting a pizza with sardines, one of James's friends raises a pinky finger while eating her share, saying it looks sophisticated. James then points out that there are bones in the sardine, and said friend lets out a rather loud "What the fuck?!".
    • And there's the ending:
      James: Michelangelo, you're disgusting! You are no longer my favorite turtle. Fuck you for inventing these horrible pizzas.
      Everyone: (While Flipping the Bird, turtle style) FUCK YOU, MICHELANGELO!
  • During his Fifth Monster Madness (Sequel-A-Thon) in the Nightmare on Elm Street review, he notes that Wes Craven seems to have a thing for booby traps. He then muses that Wes Craven should've directed the Home Alone movies. Cut to a clip of Home Alone 2 where a makeshift flamethrower burns the head of a photoshopped Freddy Krueger with high pitched screaming.
  • The Mailbag Episodes, where he reads and responds to some of the emails (and YouTube messages) that he receives from his fans: some of the best and some of the worst. This includes nice emails, funny emails, hatemail and the such. One of the funniest has got to be in Episode 3, where he receives a positive email from a fan whose grasp of the English language is greatly put in question (and likely a joke email), and the further James gets reading it, the less control he has over his laughter. The email ends with a line that sends James into uncontrollable laughter: Live like a windrammer as you fuck.
    • There's one from episode 7 while he was out in Los Angeles that might top the above one. Here it is in all its glory:
      James: "Fuck the Police." OK, that's the name of this e-mail. "Hey Harold..." OK, he's calling me Harold... "This is the last fucking time I buy you peppermint patties. You beg and beg me for them rolling around the floor of the CSV..." ...does he mean CVS? " a fucking money with a fork up his ass, and then when I give in and buy them for you, you go home and put 9 rubber dicks in the sink again." Rubber ducks. Rubber, it's rubber ducks. I said dicks, that was me. "I don't think the plumber is going to like this one. I don't even care anymore. This time, you're gonna have to tell them what went wrong! Last time, you made him hit the deck pretty hard. I don't wanna see any more caramel strips in your Thomas the Train VHS tapes either. Enough is enough. Learn to read and stop calling up Taco Bell asking for your wallet back. They don't have it. Devin. P.S. Arnold told me you tried to shove a bottle of drain cleaner up your ass again. For the last time, if you do it on purpose, the company won't pay you compensation."
      • This gem from episode 8
        James: "Just thought you should know that your videos have caused me to lose my penis, strech out my asshole, and drink my own nut liquids"
  • In his SNES VS. Sega Genesis two-part series, hearing "Little Jimmy" (James at age eleven) supporting Nintendo, and seeing and hearing James' reaction to it.
    James: OK... you got that? Reasons why Nintendo is better than Sega: Tiger handheld Simon's Quest, posters, "guide books", characters, controller stickers, "Power Gun", and Power Pad. Boom! In your face, Sega!
    • His homemade commercial for the Genesis is at least as funny (if not funnier) than the official ones were.
    • 1992 Jimmy going on and on about 'resoluation'. 2012 James just scratches his head.
      • "I think my younger self just went over my head."
    • "I'm sure that commercial alone sold many Genesises... Genesi... Mega Drives."
  • Him and Mike watching Turkish Star Wars and laughing at how stupid it is.
  • Him and Mike playing the Odyssey.
  • James and Mike Play Taboo the Sixth Sense: "I see shitty games!"
  • James and Mike Play Pilotwings 64. And dick around with it immensely.
    • At one point, they try to enter a cave to find out what could be inside (In case you're curious, it's actually a star). James flies away from the island in order to get enough room to turn around, but at the same time, he talks about Abott and Castello. He ends up getting sidetracked to the point that the island isn't even visible for a while by the time he turns around.
    • During the cannonball stage, they don't even bother to try and hit the targets. They actually try to shoot the guy as far away as possible, preferably into walls.
  • Cinemassacre's Top 1 Shark Movies.
  • The Virtual Reality Stuntmaster review. All of it.
  • The part in his Godzilla Final Wars review where he shows "what goes on in New York City (according to Toho)", which is a black guy speaking in Jive Turkey threatening a cop. The Nerd's deadpan "Yeah. Guess that's about right." seals it.
  • A few funny parts in the review for The Wizard of Oz:
    "Let's start off with the enemy run-down. We got bloodthirsty bluebirds, frogs, chattering teeth, pink soldiers, some weird-looking dude, flying elephants, which are supposed to be monkeys, a blobby blue guy, and killer chairs! Is this The Wizard of Oz or Pee-Wee's Playhouse?!?! Then, there's all these buzzsaws. Kinda violent, don't you think? Everything imaginable wants you dead. Even water faucets coming out of trees. Even the hands of a clock can kill you!" *pulls out a clock* "OH, GOD! HERE IT IS!!! WATCH OUT FOR THE CLOCK!!!" *gets himself hit*
  • TMNT Tournament Fighters Challenge. James and Mike play a bit of the game with high stakes. The winner gets to watch the first TMNT movie, the loser has to watch the awful "Turtle Tunes". The ending is what makes it, Mike gets so tired of the video, that he stops it and starts playing Super Metroid. James finds out and tells him if he doesn't finish it, he'll have to watch Turtle Tunes three times, plus We Wish You a Turtles Christmas, the third movie, and the Coming Out Of Their Shells Tour.
  • His Top 10 list of...worst Top 10's. That's right, a top list of top lists.
  • James and Mike Play Sonic the Hedgehog (2006). Biggest moment, the game switches character control over to Tails, temporarily breaking James' concentration (he was playing as Sonic a moment ago) and causing him to accidentally drop Tails into the watery abyss and lose his last life. Cue James and Mike encountering the exact same problem Pokecapn and his pals encountered long ago: It doesn't autosave thus they're forced to play the game from the very beginning all over again.
    • Their reaction to the shopkeeper whose talking animation keeps playing even after his text box only said one thing. James imitating said animation makes it even funnier.
    • Making Tails somehow fly through the ground and into the skybox.
  • James's review of Monkey Shines, especially this moment:
    James: In one scene, there's a Casablanca poster in the background, just to remind you that we're talkin' classic cinema. Here's lookin' at you, shithead.

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