Funny / Freakazoid!

Saying a show like Freakazoid is funny is like saying the sky is blue, or that water is wet. Comedy is built into the very purpose, the very being, the very nature of this hilarious series.

  • From the first episode "Dance of Doom", Freakazoid's epic, ad-libbed rant to Jeepers when the latter tries to show him a magic watch that turns beavers into gold.
    Jeepers: Do you want to see something strange and mystical?
    Freakazoid: NO! Get out of here with that watch! Lay off the poor beavers, will ya?! SHEESH! You're a creep! Go away! We were having a good time until you showed up, Jeepers! Urgh, go have some coffee with cream or something, because I'll tell you something... this is a happy place!
    • The "Dance of Doom" title continuing to drip between scenes until it becomes an unreadable mess.
  • Freakazoid is getting drunk off fruit juice after the loss of another sidekick:
    Freakazoid (sullen) : To Expendable Boy, We Hardly Knew Ye.
    Freakazoid (flatly, irritated): Hey, Mike! Will ya cut that OUT?
    "Mike": Sorry, Mac, I'm givin' angels their wings!
    • Not to mention Fanboy making his debut during that scene.
    Freakazoid: If I want to drink myself into papaya-induced hallucinations, that's my business!
    *the camera pans out, revealing that Fanboy is suddenly standing next to Freakazoid*
    Fanboy: HELLO! *Freakazoid does a ridiculously long spittake in surprise
  • Freakazoid pointing out the show's inconsistent lip-sync animation.
    Freakazoid: "Oy, let's watch the lip sync, okay??"
    (Cut to a giant pair of lips sinking into the ocean with the orchestra playing "Blow The Man Down")
    Freakazoid (saluting): "A-thank yew!"
  • The animal psychologist interrogating Mr. Chubbikins about how he activated the flaw:
    Gutierrez: Ask him how he activated the flaw.
    Animal Psychologist: Meow, meow, meow?
    Mr. Chubbikins: Mrrow... mrrow...
    Animal Psychologist: Meow?
    Mr. Chubbikins: Mrrow... mrrow...
    Animal Psychologist: (to Gutierrez) He says he's very sad.
    Gutierrez: *rolls his eyes in frustration* Oh, go away!
  • The convention panel in "Freak a Panel," in which Freakazoid is pestered with questions about Superman, but has one supportive fan.
    Fan:"You're very popular in a number of state institutions."
    Freakazoid: "Uh, thanks, that's... different of you to say."
    • Not to mention some of their incredibly stupid questions:
      Fan: If Superman fought Fred Flintstone, who would win?
      Freakazoid: Superman, I guess, unless Barney Rubble hit him from behind with a kryptonite club.
      • According to the writers, they're not making those questions up. People at fan conventions can be very strange...
  • The running gags of two clips repeatedly being randomly cut back to in "Dexter's Date."
    Mrs. Douglas: "Have a good time, now!"
    The Lobe's Goon: "That is one happy man."
  • One simple line: "We interrupt this program to increase dramatic tension. Thank you. And now back to our program."
  • Freakazoid, Cave Guy and Arms Akimbo arguing over a play in baseball, while Huntsman (the umpire) curses himself for looking away to get some berry water.
    "Darn the luck! DARN!" *hits self*
    • From earlier in that same episode, Freakazoid and The Lobe crossing paths while Christmas shopping.
    Freakazoid: Lobe? I thought you were terrorizing Europe with some kind of Cheese Ray!
    Lobe: I was. But when the holidays roll around, I come home to terrorize the ones I love.
    Freakazoid: Who you shopping for? Anyone I know?
    Lobe: (blushes) Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I won't tell you.
    (Beat as they smile at each other)
    Freakazoid: (excitedly as he and Lobe dig through each other's stuff) What'd you get me?
    Lobe: (equally excited) Show me first!
    Freakazoid: No you show me!
    Lobe: No, you!
  • "That's Uranus!"
  • "Hey! Cut it out."
  • As well as the entire Candle Jack episode. I'm flattered.
    Steff: "What are you going do with us?"
    CJ: I don't know. I never gotten so many at once before. Not a very bright group, aren't you?"
    Steff: What do you mean with that?
    CJ: Oh... Nothing.
    • The scene where the German doctor tries to explain to the audience that saying That Guy With The Candle's name won't make him come after you in real life, only for him to get captured, too.
    • At the beginning of the episode, when all the kids are telling scary stories, all of which involve things turning into wood for some reason. Then Freakazoid scares them all off by saying the scariest thing in the world would be if Sinbad got another TV show! The kicker is the two kids in bed sounding genuinely terrified by this notion.
    • Why does he capture people who say his name? It's because he's a nut.
  • Cosgrove is telling Freakazoid that he needs to go into the sewers to chase down Cobra Queen, but Freakazoid absolutely won't do it because they smell like poo gas. Then an immediate Gilligan Cut to the sewers where ... Freakazoid is not present. Then another cut to his apartment where he's watching TV and says "See? I said I wouldn't go."
  • Or how about when Brain, Wakko, and Freakazoid started arguing over who Spielberg likes the best:
    (cut shot to office) Spielberg: Who are you people?
  • Cosgrove's pretty much a Crowning Dude of Funny. "Hey Freakazoid, wanna go watch a bear ride a motorcycle?"
  • The entire episode in which the heroes (And several villains including Cand-I mean...You-Know-Who) crash land on a deserted island where a Mad Scientist (Played by none other than Tim Curry) has created an army of half-human half-orangutan monsters.
    • "They Called Me Mad!! Insane! WENDELL!"
    • After Freakazoid does the "cuckoo" hand gesture to him: "I saw that! You think I've got a clock in my head, don't you?!"
  • ''Freakazoid!" (In Stereo ... Where Available)
    Narrator: "Freakazoid!", in stereo where available. And where not available, it's not in stereo. There's nothing we can do about that, so don't blame us. We have no control over it. Call your cable company if there's some sort of problem, or the local broadcaster, but if THEY aren't giving you stereo and YOU want stereo, that's your problem, NOT ours, DON'T BUG US!!! Blame your congressman, or NEWT GINGRICH, LIKE I'M SURE HE'D CARE!!!!!!! HA!!!!!!!!! BUT, WE don't want to get any letters, UNDERSTAND?!?!?! GOOD.
  • "Eheheheheheh! Would you like to see something strange and mystical...?" Also a Moment of Awesome for Freakazoid.
  • "Palm trees? Hula girls! Pineapples? Hula girls! Surfboards? Hula girls! Hula girls! Hula girls!"
    • And: "Do I have time for another 'looking through the binoculars gag'? I like those!" (Looks through binoculars)"Hula girls!"
    • "Of course, it all makes sense now! I must've landed in Norway!"
  • "This station is conducting a test of the Emergency Broadcasting System. This is only a test. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...."
  • "Have a good time, now!"
  • "How toyetic can you get?"
  • Pretty much all of "Statuesque", including the interrogation of the monsters.
    Freakzoid: Do you know Vorn the Unspeakable?
    Dracula: Yes. I haven't seen him around, if that's what you're asking.
    Freakazoid: We'll ask the questions around here. Have you seen him around?
    Dracula: No!
    Cosgrove: Have you seen him around?
    Dracula: (angrily) No! (slams door).
    • "All we know about Jeepers is that he's from Venice Beach California. Wait it minute, could it be that simple? Have we overlooked the obvious? Probably."
    • "Hey Man" the hippie busker's song.
  • The fact that the show runners were able to get Ricardo Montalban to read such ridiculous lines as I AM NOT A WEENIE! YOU ARE THE WEENIE!!!! and "Hey, chubby boy, where is your donkey? Ahahaha!"
  • When Gutierrez tries to affect Freakazoid with kryptonite to no avail because that's Superman's weakness. Then he tries the color yellow but that's the Green Lantern's. Next, he tries water, but that's the Wicked Witch. Finally, he just asks Freakazoid what his weakness is.
    Freakzoid: Weeeeeeell...
    * Gilligan Cut to Freakazoid in a cage*
    Freakazoid: Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Never show the villain how to trap you in a cage.
    Gutierrez: You probably shouldn't have helped us build it, either.
    Freakazoid: I know! DUMB!
    • This exchange:
    Guitierrez (to Freakazoid on the TV): Why don't you come and see me, Freakazoid? It has been too long since we have exchanged... cordialities face to face.
    Jones: (off camera) That's not a word!
  • Another simple line: "We interrupt this program to bring you a very special message. I love you. And now back to our program."
    • In general, every time the announcer interrupts the program, he says something absolutely hilarious. A personal favorite is "I am actually a deep-voiced woman."
  • "Low bridge, everybody down! Low bridge, Cave Guy's underwear is brown!"
  • "Cosgrove, he's a normal, regular guy just like everyone—NORM ABRAM! I'M TOUCHING NORM ABRAM! I'M HUGGING NORM ABRAM! I'M HOLDING NORM ABRAM ABOVE MY HEAD!"
  • "What exactly is The WB? Can someone tell me this? What's it mean, The WB? The Water Bucket? The Wimpy Boy? The Wet Bananas?! I don't know!! What, the Weird Butt?! What? I'm asking!!"
    [Beat] "...This has been a special report from the Weird Butt network."
  • Gutierrez torturing Freakazoid's family with The Best of Marty Ingels.
  • "Dat was quite a jolt, Freak!"
  • "Have a good time, now!"
  • From "The Island of Dr. Mystico", when Freakazoid is giving orders as to what everyone should do after the plane crashes:
    That Guy With The Candle: Uh, Freakazoid, is there anything I should do?
    Freakazoid: Why don't you stay here and... scare the Professor!
    That Guy With The Candle: Marvelous. (Heads off camera, followed by Professor Jones' screams)
    You people have no idea just how much fun that was.
    • When Freakazoid and the others return to the plane near the episode, he's still chasing Jones around the plane.
    • While they're still on the plane, That Guy With The Candle has a wonderful Large Ham moment: "These peanuts are STALE!"
    • Freakazoid, while piloting a plane no less, antagonizing the Lobe for his own petty amusement:
    Freakazoid: (over the PA system) And out the left [side] is something very special.
    The Lobe: Where? I don't see anything.
    Freakazoid: (outside the window) BOOGABOOGABOOGA!!!
    The Lobe: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! (vomits)
    • When we first see Freakazoid in that episode, he's in the cockpit, fooling around, chanting, "I'm flying a plane! I'm flying a plane!"
    • The sequence immediately afterward, Cosgrove has to keep warning Freakazoid about things they're about to fly right into, finally culminating in:
    Cosgrove: Brando.
    (Freakazoid swerves wildly to avoid a blimp sized Marlon Brando)
    News Anchor: With the risk of editorializing, this reporter would like to say 'GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU THIEVING VULTURES BRED FROM THE BOWELS OF HECK!! Thank you.
    • Emmitt Nervend's walk-on role as a salty dance-hall chanteuse. It Makes Sense in Context.
    • Everything about Leonard Maltin.
    • When Dr. Mystico says there'll be plenty of time for explanations, Freakzoid points out the show's almost over. At which point Mystico starts screaming at them for wasting time on the plane before recomposing himself.
    • "Sparkle has to tinky."
    • "They called me mad! Insane! WENDELL!"
      • In fact EVERY line Dr. Mystico is so very, very hammy. Even for Tim Curry. It's simply a joy to watch.
  • The tongue twister scene. And Freakazoid just sums it up perfectly afterward.
  • This Visual Pun is both groan inducing and absurdly funny, partially due to Freakazoid's usual bizarre cheerfulness signing off the gag.
  • From about 2:18 on to 3:16, Ed Asner manages to carry the entire scene with a grand total of four lines and his usual deadpan delivery.
  • How an Ominous Pipe Organ sounds on Freakazoid:
    All around the mullberry bush
    Gutierrez chased the weenie
    The weenie thought 'twas all in fun
    CRUNCH goes the weenie!
  • A cameo by Bill Gates, who they were allowed to use because he's friends with Steven Spielberg (so Bill probably wouldn't have sued).
  • Sorry madam, that was my pager. I had it set to "vibrate my bottom"!
  • The entire Running Gag of Arms Akimbo selling "Oops Insurance", which pretty much boils down to Arms breaking random things while responding in a deadpan tone "Oops."
    • (Stock footage of a building being demolished is shown) "Oops..."
  • Everything about Handman.
  • "That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones....WORKS FOR ME!"
  • After Freakazoid gives a dog catcher a 'ticket'... "Oh no... please! Not Jerry Springer!"
  • Gasigo. That is all.
    Freakazoid: Hey! I really gotta go!
    Attendant: But we...but we didn't finish our song.
    ''(Cut to the Gasigo attendants riding along with Freakazoid. Singing.)
    • And when Gutierrez steals the Freakamobile to escape at the end of the episode, the attendants are still there, and they're still singing.
  • "Great, my one bit in this scene and I get upstaged by a mallet."
  • In The Chip, one of the first things Freakazoid does upon...coming into being is zoom all the way to Tibet where a monk is raking the ground.
    • And in part II, just before defeating Gutierrez, Freakazoid zips back to that monk to apologize.
    Monk: It is all right, my son.
  • At the end of Mo-Ron's debut episode, he finally remembers the message he was supposed to deliver; A comet's going to hit the area! As everyone else panics and flees...
    Freakazoid: Now he tells us!
    • In general, all his segments in that episode are stupidly funny, in a Kung Pow sort of way.
  • The Lord Bravery segments also have some funny ones. Such as the bit where Lord Bravery finds he can't use his name (Someone else has the copyright), and the bureaucrat he's talking to keeps suggesting inane ones like 'Smoked Meats and Fishes' and 'Taste Of Tempura'.
    Lord Bravery: ...You're a loon, aren't you? Right, where have you escaped from? I'll take you back!
    • At one point, he suggests Dreamworks and Bravery actually considers it, but it's taken by someone else before he can choose.
  • The Technical Difficulties bit
  • The Lobe's parody of the title song from Hello Dolly.
  • Jocko Prezents: Guitierrez's All-Time Favorite Blupors!
    Freakazoid: It's a plain old duck!
    Guitierrez: No! It's a very special duck, because... there is a guy in it!
  • After Cosgrove accidentally blurts out that Freakazoid is Dexter in front of Steff (which gets Freakazoid upset), they start doing introductions for his new butler.
    Freakazoid: And you all know me, I'm Freakazoid...OR YOU COULD JUST CALL ME BY MY SECRET IDENTITY OF DEXTER DOUGLAS.
    • The entire exchange when Cosgrove accidentally lets it slip is hilarious.
    Cosgrove: Hey, Freakazoid... We're going to rescue your family, right? I mean, it's not like anyone here doesn't know you're Dexter Douglas.
    Steff: You're Dexter Douglas?! Dexter "Creepy" Douglas is Freakazoid?
    Freakazoid: (face palms) COSGROVE!
    Cosgrove: Sorry, kid. I thought Steff knew. I mean, she's your girlfriend, and all...
    Freakazoid: I trusted you, and you just blurted it out! You should've checked with me first!
    Steff: Too much! I gotta call Val and Jill! (tries to run out of the room)
    Freakazoid: (grabs Steff and pulls her back) You can't tell anyone!
    Steff: How come Cosgrove knows?
    Freakazoid: (Beat) HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!!!
    • After Professor Jones gets upset at Cosgrove's attitude towards him, Freakazoid tries to meddle.
    Jones: He's a brute, he hates me! I try to make things nice and whats my reward?! To be spat upon like an old hound- *the plane is suddenly attacked by anti-aircraft fire* I slave away all this time, never ONCE taking a vacation-
    Freakazoid: *trying desperately to hold the plane together* IT'S YOUR FIRST DAY!!
  • From the Toby Danger short:
    "Dash" O' Pepper: Just let me Throw a Barrel at It!
    • When they investigate the lab where the Semiconductor was activated.
    Toby Danger: What's a saboteur? (Dr. Danger shows an image of the saboteur)
    (everyone gasps)
    "Dash" O'Pepper: I knew it! It's some guy in a helmet!
  • Anytime the white-haired man—an Expy of real-life broadcaster Paul Harvey—appears to tell what happens next or the origins of something.
    "And now you know...the rest of the [whatever thing he was talking about]... [Beat] ...Good day."
  • In the episode "Hero Boy", Gutierrez makes a clone of Freakazoid to ruin his reputation. Luckily, Cosgrove soon realizes it's a fake, and says as much to a group of reporters. When asked how he could tell...
    Cosgrove: I invited him to go to the Yakov Smirnoff film festival. And he said no.
    Crowd: Clone!
  • The running gag from Invisibo's episode where Dexter's family runs through random scenes screaming in terror, followed by Cosgrove asking if that was Freakazoid's family and Freakazoid responds with a dejected "Yeah."
  • An alien is abducting nerds. Cut to an episode of Regis and Kathy Lee, where Regis is talking (and talking and talking) and not letting his guest, the Pope, get a word in edgewise. Regis is then abducted by aliens, rapidly followed by Kathie-Lee. As Kathie-Lee disappears, we see the Pope smiling and clasping his hands in a praying gesture.
  • The creepy old lady who can only communicate by making creepy sound effects. At one point the narrator simply tells her to "Stop that and go away." When she gets attacked by one of Cobra Queen's giant snakes, the Narrator screams at her to run, and then is happy she got away.
    • Later, when the police are questioning her about what happened, she just makes more spooky noises before leaving in a huff after the policemen insult her.
  • The introduction of Professor Jones, and everyone asking him if he was on that show with the robot.
  • "Hello, I'm Jack Valenti. And these are my cheeks."
  • From "The Cloud" and carrying over into "Statuesque," every time somebody mentions the removal of the boat rides from Disneyland.
    Freakazoid: NOT THE BOATS!
    • This exchange.
    Hans: We mustn't linger. It's dangerous out here at night.
    Freakazoid: It's day.
    Hans: Then I suppose we can linger for a moment. (Beat) Okay, let's go.
    Freakazoid: (does the "cuckoo" geature)
    Hans: I saw that!
  • Following the first commercial break in "Normadeus," it suddenly cuts to a murder mystery surrounding the death of somebody named Sir Jeffry. When the investigator starts asking Freakazoid questions, Freak realizes he's in the wrong show. Also:
    The Narrator: We now return to our show.
    The Narrator: The OTHER show.
  • This exchange between Dexter and his mother. The fact that she, as always, is grinning ear to ear and delivers her lines in a serenely happy tone absolutely seals it.
    Mom: You spend far too much time with your computer. It's not healthy!
    Dexter: It's my life...
    Mom: That's so very, very sad.
  • In the episode "The Freakazoid", Freakazoid learns that according to the "Superhero Code Book", he must grant every request asked of him on his birthday, and as a result, can't stop the Lobe's latest crime spree since Lobe requested that Freakazoid would leave him alone. Finally, Freakazoid rips up the code book in a fit of frustration, throwing the scraps into the wind, except for one lone scrap that keeps flying back to him. And it's when he finally reads what's on said scrap (it reveals that Lobe published the code book himself, and made up the whole "superheroes granting requests on their birthdays" thing), we get this little gem:
    Freakazoid: I KNEW IT!
    Subtitle: NO HE DIDN'T
  • Pretty much the entirety of the "Fatman and Boy Blubber" sketch, especially the part where they spoof Batman and Robin shaking hands by having Boy Blubber try to pull Fatman out of the tire swing and what Fatman says after Louis' bullies get away.
    Fatman: If either of you ever again ridicule an overweight person, I will personally sit on you!
    • Right afterwards, Fatman and Boy Blubber immediately collapse out of exhaustion.
    Fatman: I've got a stitch in my side and I've lost my freshness...
  • The entirety of "Relax-o-Vision," really just starting with the concept and every time it's used.
    • Ben Stein as H.A. Futterman delivering some of the most ridiculous lines a man can be asked to read in his usual deadpan delivery.
    • The way he says "Two!" when ordering frozen bananas for him and Stef. There's just something delightfully funny about Freakazoid briefly acting normal.
    • Freakazoid briefly slipping into Paul Rugg's trademark Jerry Lewis impression.
    • Freakazoid's Battle Cry: "AH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!"
    • Freakazoid commenting that the studio blew the season's entire animation budget on a fight scene that was Relax-o-Visioned out.
    • And finally, Freakazoid beating up Futterman for using it to censor his Big Damn Kiss with Steff at the end.
  • The crossover comic with Animaniacs. Where to start with it? Dot flirts with Freakazoid, while the Lobe gets kicked out for proposing a Pinky and the Brain rip-off, and then has to deal with Yakko and Wakko's wisecracking when he decides to hold them hostage.
  • When put in a sticky situation in "A Matter Of Love," a close up of Cosgrove's worried face is scored to a chorus singing "What will Cosgrove do? What will Cosgrove do?" ...before he turns to the camera and tells them to cut it out.
  • Freakazoid's conversation with his inner child, which was obviously improvised.
    Freakazoid: You know, I think this might be the perfect time to have a conversation with my inner child.
    Freakazoid: (Thinking) Billy? Billy?
    Billy: H-hello. I-I've grown quite large.
    Freakazoid: (Thinking) I brought you shorts.
    Billy: Good. I-I can't come out because of my girth.
    Freakazoid: (Thinking) I brought you a diet book as well.
    Billy: (Corpsing) Okay, I think we've gone as far as we can go.
  • The end of "Conversational Norwegian", at which point the announcer speaks as if he's going down with the ship.