(note capitalisation) is an infamous fanfic, probably a Troll Fic
, in the Homestuck
). It begins as a fairly bizarre but innocuous High School AU
, in which John and Gamzee compete to take Rose to the Spring Fling. Then it gets weird
. Of course, this fanfic has gained infamy with even the biggest fans of the original webcomic—not only due to its generally poor quality, but because it has very little to do with anything or anyone in Homestuck itself
Provides examples of:
- Alpha Bitch: Rose.
"Hi rose" [John] said blankly
"What do you want loser" [Rose] replied coldly
"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said
"Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"
"Thats ok" John said
- Artifact Title / In Name Only / Nonindicative Name: Both words of the title. It has nothing to do with Homestuck except for characters' names, and only the first chapter has anything to do with high school.
- Battle of the Bands: Eridan defeats demon!Sollux in a musician's duel.
- Big Bad: Sollux, apparently.
- Costume Porn: In the first couple of chapters, as part of the usual bad High School AU schtick; Rose wears a leather bikini.
- Crack Fic
- Dead Fic: As of December 11, 2013, it has not been updated in over a year.
- Dream Walker: Aradia being this is probably the only thing the fanfiction gets right. Too bad she only appears once.
- Dull Surprise: The characters respond to most of the crazy happenings with nothing more than "oh okay".
- Everyone Is Bi: Oh yeah. And this is the least weird thing about the fanfic.
- Extreme Doormat: John.
- Extreme Omnivore: Vriska eats napkins and continues to do so after she finds out that Jade peed on them.
- Fat Bastard: Demon!Sollux "probably had fifteen girths", whatever that means.
- Hammerspace: Eridan is able to put his guitar in his pocket.
- Henshin Hero: John is granted the power to turn into Eridan by Aradia.
- High School AU: It starts out as one, anyway.
- IKEA Erotica
- Informed Attribute: Dave and Vriska apparently really get around, including with each other, and Dave is into virgins. But, like Sollux's evilness mentioned below, this is only ever talked about.
- Informed Flaw: Sollux is supposed to be the single most evil being on the planet, yet his "evil deeds" are only ever talked about.
- Insane Troll Logic: For the simplest example, we have John falling for Rose after she bit his arm, broke his glasses and made him cry. True love right there!
- Love Triangle: Subverted; John/Rose/Gamzee, Jade/Dave/Vriska and Karkat/Jade/Dave are all set up but none of them go anywhere.
- Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: i.e. none.
- Mundane Made Awesome: John develops magical powers because of a blast of dark magic which comes out of a McDonald's burger.
- Official Couple: John/Rose and Dave/Jade. Both couples have the red string tied so tightly around their necks, that it's a miracle that they're still breathing.
- Obviously Evil: Sollux.
They turned their sweaty heads to see Jade struggling in the grasp of a man who looked more evil than ANY other man they had seen.
- One-Winged Angel: Eridan is now John's demonic battle form, into which he transforms by putting on a pair of plastic horns. Eridan claims that while he inhabits the body John's soul is trapped in Hell; nobody seems overly concerned, when John returns to normal he is unhurt, and this is never mentioned again.
- Perky Goth: Gamzee for...some reason.
- Purple Prose:
"I lust johnatan NOT YOU!" she eviscerated softly wilst she cries the velvit tears odf the mennopauses that climacate from the ruens of the reched pedimeants of life.
- Random Events Plot: Not a single thing in the entire fic makes any sense at all.
- Really Gets Around: Dave and Vriska, apparently.
- Rock Me, Asmodeus!: The duel.
- Rouge Angles of Satin
- Troll Fic: One hopes so.
- Unexplained Recovery: Gamzee says that Karkat has killed himself; he turns out to actually be alive, albeit injured. The presumed suicide attempt never comes up again.
- What Does He See in Her?: John has liked Rose ever since she bit him and broke his glasses in second grade, and when he tells her he loves her she declares herself to be in lust with him.
- X Meets Y: Homestuck meets HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
- You Keep Using That Word: By the final chapter, just about every word, to the extent that "eviscerated" is used in place of "said".