(note capitalisation) is an infamous fanfic, probably a Troll Fic
, in the Homestuck
). It begins as a fairly bizarre but innocuous High School A.U.
, in which John and Gamzee compete to take Rose to the Spring Fling. Then it gets weird
. Of course, this fanfic has gained infamy with even the biggest fans of the original webcomic—not only due to its generally poor quality, but because it has very little to do with anything or anyone in Homestuck itself
Although thought to be a Dead Fic, it recently updated with Chapter 9 after a year long hiatus.
Compare Dave Stdider Pokemon Traner
and Tarvos And Fairie A Love Story
Provides examples of:
- Adaptational Sexuality:
- John (who is, famously, not a homosexual) has a threesome with Gamzee and Karkat at one point. To be fair, though, he's still not a homosexual...
- Kanaya (a lesbian in canon) makes out with John's Dad in chapter nine. This is probably the least weird part of the fanfic at that point.
- Alpha Bitch: Rose.
"Hi rose" [John] said blankly
"What do you want loser" [Rose] replied coldly
"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said
"Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"
"Thats ok" John said
- Artifact Title / In Name Only / Nonindicative Name: Both words of the title. It has nothing to do with Homestuck except for characters' names, and only the first chapter has anything to do with high school, though the second word may be accurate in a different sense.
- Artistic License – Biology: Jade gives birth to triplets, and each child has a different father. Possible, but very unlikely.
- Battle of the Bands: Eridan defeats demon!Sollux in a musician's duel.
- Big Bad: Sollux, apparently.
- Composite Character: Tavros is now simply Karkat suffering amnesia after a botched suicide attempt. There's also Eridan and John, as elaborated below.
- Costume Porn: In the first couple of chapters, as part of the usual bad High School A.U. schtick; Rose wears a leather bikini.
- Crack Fic
- Dramatic Reading: Can be found here. Alternatively, this one or this one.
- Dream Walker: Aradia being this is probably the only thing the fanfiction gets right. Too bad she only appears once.
- Dull Surprise: The characters respond to most of the crazy happenings with nothing more than "oh okay".
- Everyone Is Bi: Oh yeah. And this is the least weird thing about the fanfic.
- Extreme Doormat: John.
- Extreme Omnivore: Vriska eats napkins and continues to do so after she finds out that Jade peed on them.
- Fat Bastard: Demon!Sollux "probably had fifteen girths", whatever that means.
- Hammerspace: Eridan is able to put his guitar in his pocket.
- Henshin Hero: John is granted the power to turn into Eridan by Aradia.
- High Heel-Face Turn: Nepeta, who was working with Sollux for some reason and then decided to go with Rose when she suddenly falls in love with her.
- High School A.U.: It starts out as one, anyway.
- Hypocrite: After declaring "gay stuff" to be "gross", the author writes the heroes engaging in a detailed albeit confusing gay threesome.
- IKEA Erotica
- Informed Attribute: Dave and Vriska apparently really get around, including with each other, and Dave is into virgins. But, like Sollux's evilness mentioned below, this is only ever talked about.
- Insane Troll Logic: For the simplest example, we have John falling for Rose after she bit his arm, broke his glasses and made him cry. True love right there!
- Love Triangle: Subverted; John/Rose/Gamzee, Jade/Dave/Vriska and Karkat/Jade/Dave are all set up but none of them go anywhere.
- Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: i.e. none.
- Mundane Made Awesome: John develops magical powers because of a blast of dark magic which comes out of a McDonald's burger.
- Official Couple: John/Rose and Dave/Jade. Both couples have the red string tied so tightly around their necks, that it's a miracle that they're still breathing.
- Offstage Villainy: Sollux is supposed to be the single most evil being on the planet, yet his "evil deeds" are only ever talked about.
- Obviously Evil: Sollux.
They turned their sweaty heads to see Jade struggling in the grasp of a man who looked more evil than ANY other man they had seen.
- One-Winged Angel: Eridan is now John's demonic battle form, into which he transforms by putting on a pair of plastic horns. Eridan claims that while he inhabits the body John's soul is trapped in Hell; nobody seems overly concerned, when John returns to normal he is unhurt, and this is never mentioned again.
- Perky Goth: Gamzee for...some reason.
- The Power of Rock: This is apparently how Sollux and his equally evil brother Skrollux can be defeated.
- Purple Prose:
"I lust johnatan NOT YOU!" she eviscerated softly wilst she cries the velvit tears odf the mennopauses that climacate from the ruens of the reched pedimeants of life.
- Random Events Plot: Not a single thing in the entire fic makes any sense at all.
- Really Gets Around: Dave and Vriska, apparently.
- Rock Me, Asmodeus!: The duel.
- Rouge Angles of Satin
- Teen Pregnancy: Jade gets pregnant by Dave, Karkat, and Sollux. At the same time.
- Troll Fic: One hopes so.
- Unexplained Recovery: Gamzee says that Karkat has killed himself; he turns out to actually be alive, albeit injured. The presumed suicide attempt never comes up again.
- What Does He See in Her?: John has liked Rose ever since she bit him and broke his glasses in second grade, and when he tells her he loves her she declares herself to be in lust with him.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: So what happened to Karkat's suicide attempt and why did he want to kill himself in the first place?
- X Meets Y: Homestuck meets Thirty H's.
- You Keep Using That Word: By the final chapter, just about every word, to the extent that "eviscerated" is used in place of "said".