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Fan Fic: Tarvos And Fairie A Love Story
We Sholdent Agrue Anyway Cause Everyoene Know Jappense is Surperior Rase in Uneverse.
—Kanyaya

Tarvos and Fairie: A Love Story (usually referred to as Tarvos and Fairie or TAFALS) is a Homestuck fanfic, and almost as infamous as Homestuck High or DAVE STDIDER POKEMON TRANER.

Its plot is complicated and involves Time Travel, but most of it seems to focus on "Tarvos" Nitram and "Fefiri Pixies" trying to go on a forbidden love adventure, meeting villains such as "Skrillex", "Sekret Agent Friska" and "Erdoon". Oh, and a Mary Sue Koibito Minano keeps appearing every now and then, who is Japanese because the author is a huge weeaboo, and uses Added Alliterative Appeal and a more intelligent/confusing vocabulary than everyone else.

Tropes:

  • Added Alliterative Appeal - Both the author and Koibito often use it.
    • "I sighed in a angsty streaming steam of sultry swirling sadness."
    • "I donot condone this wretchedly warped wantonly wickedly wayward! behavior!"
    • "and decadently divinely dashingly delicately deluged against the profound, unfathomable, truthful brinies"
  • Aluminum Christmas Trees - Despite early reviews saying that "trolls do not have a Japan", there is a canon Japanese Homestuck troll: Damara Megido. However, Damara would not be introduced into Homestuck until relatively late in 2012 (several months after the fic began), making it a somewhat odd example.
    • Naturally, the author thinks "Dermara"'s Japanese sucks. Which it does.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking - "Even afterwords Slox used to beat Tavros up and even made fun of his lame Pita Pan costume"
  • Costume Porn - "I put on a classy yukata decorated with a pattern of falling sakuras (AN: HAHA YOU PROBALY DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID). I then put on traditional japaenes wooded sandals, and I also put my favorite Nartuo T-Shirt. It had a panorama (AN: Fancy word for pic) of Naurto, Saske, and Sakura, doing an intricately complex pose while Saske, the hotest of the three, was holding an ostentatiously elongated katana in the middle."
    • Despite claiming she is well-informed about Japanese culture, she does not seem to realize that a t-shirt over a yukata does not go well together on any occasion.
  • Delusions of Eloquence: Koibito. And the author in some prose.
  • Department of Redundancy Department - "The despiring black clods swirled across the sky, appearing as if they had depressed sad faces, wrinked with sadness."
  • Everyone Is Bi: Koibito only dates bisexual Asian trolls.
  • Gratuitous "Japaenes" - The author will try to get however little Japanese she knows into the fic, and immediately give an English translation.
    • The author seems to be extremely racist. She believes that Japanese is the superior rare and at one point, says it is a shame that not everyone is Japanese. She states that she only likes Japanese animation, despite Homestuck being written and animated by an American. Her Mary Sue character does not date "STUPID WHITE ANERICAN TROLLS" like her.
  • IKEA Erotica - Feferi: "I fell asleep in the real world, and now I am in a strange purple city. Sollux walked up to me, I think I was still sleeping, and he raped me! He made my dream self pregnant! Oh no!"'
  • Informed Attractiveness - Mary Sue Koibito Minano "VERY VERY attractive for a troll for [her] age."
  • Informed Flaw - Kanaya is racist apparently. Her first line of the fic is a description of how racist she is.
    • "GA: Hi My Black Soul Brother. I Have My Doubts About You Because I am A White Rainbow Drinker And I Am Racist But Pretending To Be Black"
    • In the Homestuck canon, none of the original characters have a canon race.
  • Mr. Seahorse - A three chapter arc introduces a side plot in which Equius has a baby, and Koibito, Tavros, and Feferi have to figure out who the father is.
  • Open Secret - In chapter two, Sollux is described as "imotral (but ist a SEEECREEET)" twice.
  • Purple Prose - The author believes abusing a thesaurus makes her a better writer: "Im looking up new was to improve my writng skills with more advanced words and stuff."
    • "Each individual creature containsed rectified fins that gracefully fluttered against the hydrogen dioxide bubbley foam; and decadently divinely dashingly delicately deluged against the profound, unfathomable, truthful brinies; possessing each and every shimmering spectral hue that resides in the object created by the light produced from the eternally glowing ball of light; and the dripping, coruscating liquids that descend from the grey, depressed clouds, known as a 'rainbow.' "
  • Rouge Angles of Satin - The author justifies her misspellings by saying it is her "TYPING QUICK! !" (typing quirk) and then goes back on her word two sentences later by saying that in the future, she will google spellings she is unsure about. Among other things, uses "whom" to mean "who," and believes that improves her grammar.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness - Used frequently in prose and by Koibito. Combined with Purple Prose. And Gratuitous Japanese. The result is horrifying.
    • "I hypothesize it is imperative thou hast to be aware that the actuality that we are destined to benefit to frends throgh befriending one another nano desu"
    • "Your adversary whom was once youre supporter had respectable intentions as you may or may not know. She would have homocided the obtuse Japanese-culture intolerant baka homosexual hipster that you are cognizant with and is refereed to as Erdain with her chinsaw massively"
  • Wangst - Koibito: "I am a loner. No one understands me."
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